So today I came to the sudden realization that I have not been very real with myself. I had my sleeve on Monday, 3/5/12, and followed the post op diet for ..... 2...3 ....days?? Then I just started eating little bites of various things. Nothing really bad...a tad of cheddar here, a piece of chicken nugget there, a bit of shrimp,... None of these things are terrible, but my sleeve is not ready for them. I need to slow down and let the sleeve do it's job and stop pushing to the finish line when I have barely begun the race.
So, I'm back on track and following the Dr.'s post diet orders. I'm actually feeling better...a lot less discomfort. Who'da thoought the doc would know what he was talking about? LOL
So today I get real and use this tool and not abuse it. Makes for a happier, healthier me.
So very much has happened since my last blog in November. I suppose I got rather frustrated at times which is probably a normal way to feel when one is trying to get something so life changing scheduled. When I realized that being sleeved by the end of the year wasn't going to happen, I relaxed a bit and just decided to enjoy the wait as much as possible. To make a long story short, my insurance did not cover my surgery so I ended up being self pay. That's ok. I don't care. I had my sleeve done on Monday, March 5, 2012. I barely one week out, so I still have a lot to learn. I am so very happy tho. I don't care how fast or slow my weight comes off. It's coming off. That's enough for me!!
Well, my cardiologist's office just called and said I was cleared for surgery and he will be forwarding a letter to my surgeon. Whew...Another item checked off the list. So I call Dr. Bellanger's office (my surgeon in Baton Rouge) and Tracy tells me that United Healthcare sometimes takes 20 days or so to get approval. YIKES!! Now I'm starting to get anxious. I've done everything I can do from this end so now it's a wait and see thing.... I wouldn't mind that too much if my insurance wasn't changing at the end of the year!!
Sending up prayers that United Healthcare will be speedy!! Lord, let me get this done by the end of the year!!!
So today I made an appointment for Friday morning at 8am in Baton Rouge. From what I understand this appointment will basically be a "group" meeting with other people interested in having WLS. After the informational meeting with the doctor, he will meet with us one on one to answer questions. I am excited, and only a little nervous about the prospect of having surgery. I suppose there is a part of me that feels a bit like a loser...having to "resort" to surgery to lose weight. I guess I should move past that thinking. Bottom line is, being "naturally thin" is just not in the cards for me. But...just because I have to go about it a different way, doesn't mean I can't be, or don't deserve to be thin...Right? RIGHT!! I'm gonna be thin, and feel better, feel healthier, be healthier... :smile1: .
Also...I called my insurance company and I found out that they will cover my surgery. It looks like my co-pay will be only $325. for my surgery. Not bad considering the total cost for surgery is over $8,400. I'm not sure about all the pre-authorization jazz...but, hopefully I can relax a bit about the cost.
I really hope I can have the surgery before the end of the year. I would like to have it in November, but just the fact that I am finally actually "doing something" about my weight makes me feel so much better.
OK...so I've decided that I'm gonna be totally honest during this journey of mine. Ya know what I mean...sometimes we tend to only tell the parts that put us in a "good light". Well...It's time to push those cares away...time to be honest...time to be real. So today will be my first honest admission...
I can not freakin get food off my mind! It's like...all I can think about now that I have made this decision to have WLS. I wake up hungry, and while I am eating breakfast, I think about what I will eat next. So embarrassing to admit, but it's the truth. I know that I am rationalizing, in my head, that I'm going to lose weight, so why not? Geeesh...that's so lame. Even right now while I am typing this, I'm thinking about how the McRibs are back at McDonalds and I want one for lunch. Pathetic. Pathetic. If this is my attitude, am I gonna be able to do this? How do I fix this attitude?
Ugh!
So bright and early today, at 8am I was in Baton Rouge for my orientation and informational consult. I'm 5' tall (short) and I weighed 186.7 lbs. BMI = 36.5. Ugh. Tho I'm not at a BMI of 40, my CAD, arthritis, and asthma, qualify me.
I honestly didn't learn anything that new...this site is so great that I have already learned so much about the sleeve. But, I did learn that my surgeon does NOT require a pre op diet of liquids! Yeah!! He asks only that you start cutting your calorie intake 2 weeks prior to surgery and nothing to eat or drink 12 hours before. He explained the fatty liver thing, but said that, tho his group is the minority, they find no real difference in difficulty manipulating the liver with either diet. So, for that I am glad, tho I think I shall go to liquids at least 2-3 days before.
Anyway, all I have left to do is get a clearance from my cardiologist and my internist, and then have the psych eval and I'm set! I'm excited, but a little nervous.
I've told both of my kids, and my son is completely supportive. My daughter, surprisingly, doesn't seem thrilled, tho she won't say anything. My son has my weight issues and my daughter is thin like her daddy. Does that have something to do with it? My husband is so very supportive. He is wonderful. Whatever will make me feel better and make me happy. I love that man . I've talked to my sister and she is wonderful. She understands completely. Now I just need to tell my parents. I guess we will do that tomorrow when we go to visit them. I must admit that I'm a little worried about how my mom will react. My dad won't say anything negative to me, but my mom is not the "hold back" kinda person. HA! I love that about her. I just really need her to support this. I guess it goes back to that need for her approval? Hmmm....something to think about.
Anyway, it was a good day, and I feel as if I am at the starting line for my new journey now. Yeah!!!!!
Wow! It's Sunday morning and things are great! I told my parents yesterday and they were so very supportive! I'm so glad, cuz I was worried about how my mom would react. She said she would do it if she could. LOL
So now, all I have to do is get letters from my cardiologist, and internist, and then wait for insurance to approve, which shouldn't be a problem. I am so freakin excited!
The prospect of having this wonderful tool to help me get to and keep a healthy weight actually makes me emotional if I sit and think about it! I WILL BE THIN!!! I WILL BE HEALTHY!!!
Yeah, Me!!!
I just thought of something. I have a problem posting a pic of myself, looking at pictures of myself, or even having my picture taken. I know it is my weight, cuz I'm always thinking how fat I look in a pic. Posting my pic here is actually kinda freeing...kinda a relief. That's me; that's how I look. AND ITS GONNA GET SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!
This is the beginning of a new attitude!
So today I made my appointment with my internist. I see him tomorrow at 3:15. Then I made my psych eval appointment in Baton Rouge on Wednesday at 9am. My cardiologist office called and just wants me to come in for an EKG and he will clear me. Things are moving right along! I love progress!!!
Ok...so today I had my appointment with my internist and it went really well. He is supportive in my decision to have the gastric sleeve and thinks that I will do well. He did tell me not to take my appointment for my psych eval too lightly. He said it is an important step and it is very important to be honest about any problems with depression in the past. I guess I'm a little nervous about that. The possibility of dealing with depression after surgery. I've had my fair share and really really don't want to go down that road again. Hopefully, if I go into it with the full knowledge of the chance of it, I will be ready to deal with it if it arises.
Anyway, I feel like I am another step farther along in my journey. Tomorrow is my psych eval and I'm excited to be getting that step done as well.
On we go!!!
Today was my psych eval in Baton Rouge. My parents came and went with me, so it turned out to be a nice day. The eval really wasn't exactly what I was expecting. The setting was comfortable, easy conversation...really nice. My psychologist actually has had the VS done as well... Which was really exciting to sit and talk to someone face to face who has had the procedure. Glad this step is finished. Getting closer every day!!!
My week is winding down and so far it feels as if I've made progress towards my goal to be sleeved. It feels really nice and relaxing tonight...knowing that I am on my way to a healthier life.
A week ago, tomorrow, I had my appointment with my surgeon for orientation and information. This past Tuesday I saw my internist and was cleared by him for surgery. Wednesday I had my psych eval and that went well. Today my cardiologist cleared me for surgery. All this accomplished in one week! I sure hope the waiting on insurance approval goes as well! If it does, I could be sleeved by Dec.
Here's hoping!!
Today I posted my first video blog on YouTube! It is actually quite exciting for me. I decided to put together a little video diary of my journey and post it after seeing so many great ones out there. I so enjoy watching and learning and sharing from all the "ones who go before me". LOL
So anyway, check out my video blog. Just search for MsDebisTime and there it is! Kinda corny...not professional, but hey, it's my first one! LOL
So today I found out something exciting. I thought that my insurance carrier was changing at the first of the year so I was trying to rush to get this done. I'm so happy that today I found out that my carrier is not actually changing... Long story, but the short of it is..... I don't have to be in a rush!!! I am so horrible about delayed gratification, but with this...I'm so proud of me. I'm doing really well! I don't care how long it takes. I know now that I WILL have the surgery, that I WILL possess this wonderful tool, and that I WILL lose the weight and KEEP IT OFF!!! I am committed and I'm not even worried about it taking a while. I don't care. Cuz I know it will be ok.
The excitement continues!!!!
So today I find out that I can't get in to see my neurologist until Dec 5. That means I probably won't make the surgery date of Dec 12. O well. January is coming, and with that, a NEW ME!! So I am still excited! I'm sick with bronchitis right now and not really like feeling like blogging so that is all for tonight. Take care and God Bless.
I haven't posted anything in several days...probably a week...but I have bronchitis and have felt like poo. Starting to feel better now, thank goodness and looking forward to the holidays.
My daughter is coming in today and I'm so excited! The only thing that could make it better would be if her brother could come too. He has a wedding this weekend and a rehearsal supper tomorrow, so that is not possible. Wow, it is not fun when they grow up and have their own lives. LOL
So anyway, I found out last week that the only 2 surgical dates left, during this calendar year, for my surgeon is Nov 28 and Dec 12. I also found out that I can't see my neurologist for clearance until Dec 5. Since that is only one week before the Dec 12 date, I doubt if insurance will approve me that fast. So it looks like it will be January. Ah well. I did find out that my insurance provider is NOT changing, so that takes the worry out of the equation as far as rushing to get it done this year. I'm not too upset about it. I'm really proud of myself. Delayed gratification is NOT something I am good about, LOL, but I think because I know this is going to be a lifelong change for me....It is calming. I'm more relaxed about it. Like...it's going to happen...so I don't need to stress. And the fact that it will be lifetime...just....I dunno...corny, maybe but it really puts me at peace.
I'm so excited and so thrilled! I am going to enjoy this holiday season with my family...and NOT shy away from the camera. Cuz...I know it only gets better from here!!
Movin right along!!!!
