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About this blog

A blog describing my journey torward the body I want and need.

Entries in this blog

 

Day 11 Post-op

I currently think I might be dying a little... ok... not really but it feels like it. I made a mistake and decided to try about a teaspoonful of finely chopped up, well moisturized chicken salad. Do not do this on day 11. It kind of feels like a bomb went off in my new stomach. I am making every effort not to throw it up.   I am supposed to be on full liquids until day 14 after surgery. I was thinking I was feeling ok and needed some protein, since I havn't been getting it in with shakes. Well that was a bust. I guess I am going to have to start forcing myself to drink some sort of shake because I am not getting protein, and I obviously can't eat anything.   At this point I feel like I will never eat again. Hmmm... perhaps its too late to rethink this process?   *Rachel
wantobeskinny

wantobeskinny

7
 

5 Days Post-op Vsg

I was sleeved on Monday, 12/12... checked into the hopital around 8:30am. They took me to the back after registration, weighed me ( 10pounds lost on pre-op diet), then they gave me some meds to relax a bit. They took me back to the OR and the last thing I remember was commenting on how bright the lights must be above me. They strapped me on this table, and the next thing I know, they were waking me up. I woke up shaking and in some horrible pain. The only thing I kept saying was it hurts. When they took me back to the recovery room, they gave me some pain meds that helped me to feel a bit better. That day I was on a morphine drip, and don't remember much. I was pretty loopy from the meds and in and out of sleep. My family was there to visit with me, and one of my sisters staid in the hospital with me the entire time I was there... I am sooooo thankful for her.       Tuesday was the worst day because they switched me from morphine to some puny pain med that didn't work for me. I was nauseated and they gave me some meds for that. I got up and walked several times throughout my stay. Around Wednesday I was starting to feel somewhat better by wednesday. I wasn't able to drink much liquid because the gas pain was terrible, but I kept walking, which helped to relieve that. They put me on tramadol which has been the best with the pain control. I continued to improve wednesday, and was able to be discharged on Thursday. I was still unable to get a lot of liquids in thursday, but I kept sipping on water most of the day.     That brings me to today (Friday 12/16)... Doing ok... sleeping alot... I am currently sipping on some milk, trying to get a little nutrients in. I am a little worried about not getting in a lot of nutrients. I weighed this morning, and I have lost 17 pounds since I started pre-op... 7 pounds since surgery. I am continuing to hope and pray for healing. Keep me in your prayers, and good luck to all of ya'll on your journey! Merry Christmas also!!   Let me know if you have any suggestions for nutrients or healing!     Best Wishes,   Rachel
wantobeskinny

wantobeskinny

4
 

Tomorrow Is A New Year... & 3wks Post-op

Countdown to 2012: This year, 2011, has been an adventure. I spent the first four months doing a fashion internship in NYC, finished my Bachelor's, started my Master's, and I got sleeved. Although, there were many good things to happen, my parent's home foreclosed, due to the economy, which has added a lot of stress and greif to this year. It was one of the hardest things, to lose my childhood home, and have no way of fixing it. I have also yet to find a job in this economy. As the New Year is approaching, I am praying for many blessings and happiness in 2012. I hope that we are all successful on our sleeve journey and in all our future pursuits.     3 weeks post-op update: I am at a STALL!! I have seen this on so many of the December sleevers blogs, that it is kind of comforting knowing that it isn't just me that has stalled. That being said, I am super frustrated with it! It has been at least 8 days and nothing has changed. I know I have not been getting in a lot of protein, but you would think with soooo little calories, that your body would have to lose... apparently not. I bought some protein "shots" today. Hopefully these will help my body to get the nutrients it needs to get through this adjustment. Although they are super sour... they are easier to stomach than any more of those milky protein shakes.   This sleeve has been such an adjustment. My energy level is still super low although my pain level has decreased significantly. I am hoping to regain some energy before my classes start back. I suppose I am making "normal" progress, but I would like this stall to budge and to start feeling like myself again.   I hope all of you are doing well! Have a safe and blessed, **Happy New Year 2012**!!! Rachel
wantobeskinny

wantobeskinny

8
 

Day 7 Post-op

Today I woke up feeling pretty good. I still cannot really drink anything but "clear liquids". I decided I was feeling well enough to take a trip to Walmart with my sister so we could get something crafty to do because laying around all day gets pretty boring. My sister told me that I should use a riding cart, but I didn't want to because to me they are embarrassing, especially since we live in such a small rural town where everyone knows everyone. Well, I guess I should've listened because about half way through I was sweating and weak and had to get her to go get me a wheel chair... she pushed me the rest of the way (because I couldn't bring myself to use the riding cart... I don't know why I have such a thing about those... they just freak me out. lol) That seemed to help me a lot.   I bought some vitamin water and tomato soup to try. I don't know how well the soup will do, but I wanted to try something a little different. Right now though, I am still having some terrible gas pain... so I don't know if I'll get to try it or not. Does this gas ever go away?? I sure hope so... it's so not pleasant.   On the bright side... I seem to keep losing about 2 pounds everyday for the past 3 days!! I am down 25 pnds since pre-op!! Woot Woot! Can someone welcome me to the loser's bench... I think I'm on it! lol   Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!! Hugs! Rachel
wantobeskinny

wantobeskinny

8
 

Will This Liquid Diet Ever End? :/

I started this liquid pre-op diet last week on Nov. 28th. It has been one of the hardest things I have ever done! To go from not counting calories and eating whatever I want... to barely 800 calories of just protein shakes and yogurt, seems kinda like torture if you think about it. It is like taking a drug addict's drug and saying too bad you can't have it... but the catch with a food addict is... you have to have some, and you can't cut it out completely.   So I just ate a baked chicken breast (I was about to lose my mind... my stomach was growling so bad)... this is something I would never have felt guilty about before. It is healthy and it is protein. I had a couple last week when I was first starting too. I wonder if my Doctor is gonna grill about that. The only other thing I've had is a spoon of peanut butter a couple of days last week.     Does anybody know if the Dr. will ask you if you ate anything other than what is on the list? I think my liver will still be smaller, and I've lost 8 pounds in 8 days. IDK... I guess I'm just worried. Making it the best I can, but this is killer!!
wantobeskinny

wantobeskinny

8
 

The looming Pre-op fast...

Hey Everybody, So it seems my freedom with food is slowly but surely coming to an end (which is a good thing I'm sure, but scary non-the-less...). My pre-op diet is approaching soon... Nov. 28, a week and a half from now. I don't know why but it seems like I am dreading this the most. Maybe its because I have my old stomach still, and I know I am going to be hungry. I am mentally preparing myself the best I can, but I'm not sure what to expect. I've never really done a true fast like this before.   I've been looking for recipes online to help mix up the shake flavors... any suggestions out there? I'm open to whatever will get me through these upcoming two weeks. My dad who had the lap band done about 5 years ago has committed to doing the fast with me so maybe it will help having someone else going through the same thing.   Also, I've been reading people's posts about who to tell about surgery... to tell or not to tell?... that seems to be a big question??... I don't know either. I have told my parents, my 2 sisters(one of which was more critical than the other... as expected... she's a physical therapist), my 2 best friends, and another friend who has had the surgery. This seems to be the only people I want to tell. My family thinks I should tell my overly critical grandmother, just so she will know what is going on, but truthfully I don't want her to know. I have heard enough from her about my weight throughout my life. I just want to show up at her house one day and be skinny. lol. I don't know what is best. Any thoughts on this too?   Well... those are my ramblings for the day... let me know what you think!
wantobeskinny

wantobeskinny

5
 

Allergic Reaction?

I think I have developed an allergic reaction to something, but I do not know what it is. My face is completely broken out with hive type things that itch, burn, and are really red. It is slightly swollen, but I don't know if I should consult a Doctor or not.   I've been racking my brain to think of what it could be. I started drinking Sobe waters ( the pepsi version of vitamin water)... I though maybe it is that, because this rash started friday... and I started drinking those thursday. It will really suck it if is those because they are really good. I've never had this reaction to the other Vitamin Water brand before.   I started taking Nexium on Saturday and some chewable vitamins on Saturday... so I don't think it would be those because this rash started Friday. I also started taking those Protein shots, but then again I think it was after it started. It wasn't really bad Friday... but has gotten much worse since the weekend.   I really don't know what has caused it. Could it be hormonal? Has anyone else had this type of reaction to something after surgery?   Typically my skin is pretty clear... especially compared to this. I guess that is why I'm worried. I've been taking benadryl.... and it really just knocks me out.. so I sleep a lot, which gives me some relief.   Any suggestions would be appreciated.   Rachel
wantobeskinny

wantobeskinny

4
 

It's really happening!!

Hey ya'll,   Guess what?!?! I finally got my surgery scheduled for December 12th :D:D:D!! I can't believe it is actually happening! I have been praying about it and hoping that I could get it in December when I am out of school for the semester, and it has worked out perfectly.   My preop is the Friday before that... is there anything I should expect? any suggestions for what I should bring and know for the surgery? I have done my research but would like any information possible   I start my protein liquid diet November 28th... which is luckily after Thanksgiving... so I'll get to eat that lol! I hope I can make it through it. I am trying my best to mentally prepare myself... but it seems extremely difficult.   I am super excited an nervous! I believe God answers prayers... I will now be praying for a safe surgery... if any of you pray... send up a prayer for me!   Rachel
wantobeskinny

wantobeskinny

1
 

Productive Day

Today was good. Let me start off by asking what size bougie did ya'll get? My Dr. is using a size 36 bougie... does anyone know if this is good or bad? I'm not sure if it even matters, but I was wondering what others have.   I went to my exercise and nutrition lectures today. They were pretty much just rehash of what I have already heard or read, but I did get all of my questions answered. I guess it is good to review the material though. I mean you can't be too informed with this surgery. I love hearing all of the information. I am one of those people who likes to be overly prepared.   I start my liquid diet in 5 days!! aghh!! It is all becoming so real... I am excited and nervous. I think I will be fine once the sugery is over, although I anticipate pain. I just get really nervous thinking about all of the what ifs.   I am glad I am one step close to my goal. Only 3 more steps 'til surgery... pre-op fast, blood work, and pre-op appointment!   Wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving... even if you can't eat bc you are on liquids.... at least it's time with family and maybe some time off from work!   And, here is shake recipe with a little holiday cheer! *Pumpkin Pie in the Sky: 1 cup water + 1 scoop vanilla protein powder + 1 tsp. vanilla extract + 1 tsp. pumpkin pie spice*   ~Rachel
wantobeskinny

wantobeskinny

0
 

The beginning of this journey!

Hello out there,   I'm not exactly sure how to navigate this site, so I thought I'd start with a blog.   I am just beginning this journey toward a healthy, skinny life. I know you are supposed to tell the doctors that you want to be healthy but the truth is... I want to be SKINNY too! (Hence the name of my blog lol)! Anyway, I have recently completed my checklist for the insurance company and am awaiting their approval... keep your fingers crossed for me!   I have wanted to be thin since I was a little girl. Being overweight/obese since age six... it's been a long time coming! High school was rough... never having a date or fitting in... being the big and shy one. College was a little better but still no dates... pathetic right? Well... there is a skinny girl in me just waiting to get out... and I hope this is the path that will get me there!   Good Luck to all of you who are just beginning or already reaching your goals... YOU DESERVE IT TOO!   P.S. I'll put up a before pic of me (which is one of my least favorites!)... and maybe some day soon I'll have some skinny after ones!   If you have any advice or anything... it would be greatly appreciated and accepted! Thanks!
wantobeskinny

wantobeskinny

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