I have 22 days to go and I am up and down on my decision. It seems crazy to think that I am not 100% sure. Today, I searched the internet for an alternative. One of the website said that calories don’t count!!!! Can you believe it!!!! Anyways, I started thinking yet another fad. Then I came across an article about the health benefits to WLS and Cardiomyopathy…and that changed my mind about the whole doubt thing. I know that once my day comes, I’ll be ok.
One more day to go…actually I have 19 hours 4 minutes and 29 seconds left. I am surprisingly not worried…probably the calm before the storm. I consider myself lucky. I didn’t have to go on the Optifast meal plan for two weeks like most of my doctor’s patients. I only had to do the liquid diet thing for two days. Yesterday was hard because it was the super bowl. My husband made pizza for himself and the kids while I had a delicious bowl of hot beef broth…yum…not! I am sooo hungry right now. The one thing I didn’t get a chance to eat was a doughnut…I really want a dozen hot krispy kreme doughnuts!!!!!!! SOOOOOO HUNGRY!!!!!! :banghead:
So I have a date. Very excited but I still can't believe it. It doesn't feel real. Even after I went to my first post approval appointment. And I have sooooo many appointments more to go to before my surgery. I think part of me believes that this isn't going to work. I know that doesn't make sense but I have been on soooooo many diet plans that have failed a part of me this will be the same. I feel like I don't want to get my hopes up to much just in case. I wish I wasn't so negative.
Next Tuesday is my surgery. I am no longer struggling with my decision to go forward with it despite that fact that two of my closest friends have been very negative lately. My one friend who has bariatric surgery, says things like, “You’re really going to miss eat…you’ll see” or “Well, you lost some weight on your own, do you really think you need to get the surgery?” Now, I know what the nutritionist meant when she said that your friends and/or family will try to sabotage your success. Even my husband has been a little discouraging, “You’re going to be in a lot of pain.” I know they mean well and they just trying to be helpful and they are worried but I believe that only you knows what best for you. The only person right now that I think is truly supportive is my dad because he has seen me struggle to get this weight off for so many years.
I made up my mind 6 months ago that after years of trying so many difference diets that failed me, it was time to take extreme action. I really don’t have that many more years left. I almost died 6 years ago of a cardiomyopathy. I got a second chance and I am not going to waist another day not feeling good about myself, not being able to walk up one flight of stairs without gasping for air, not being able to shop in the regular petite section, not being able to sit on my floor with my kids, not being able to tie my own shoes without holding my breath.
I am not doing this to look thin. I just want to be healthy. I want to want to take picture of myself. I want a body that matches my personality. I want my back, knees, and feet not to hurt when I walk. I have a great life, a great husband, and great kids. I want to be around for grandchildren.