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11-04-08 election day

Well its been a long since I was here. I went on vacation and did really pretty good. I was at the my GP last week and I was done 10 lbs since I was there 3 or 4 months ago. He was happy and I was happy that all the good food we ate on vacation didn't have a bad effect on me. I did really good I don't know if it was because I was in a different place,but I just couldn't eat very much. I'm still making the all the wrong choices. All the bad stuff goes down really really to easy. I started yesterday to try to do better. I'm going to eat more protien and less carbs. I have a really bad problem with carbs. My AC1hgb was down to 5.7 which is really really good. I still haven't got back to going on a regular bases to the Y, but maybe in the next couple of weeks. Just seem like there has been a lot going on. My knees are still hurt really bad and hurt all the time. I just keep going, I know that I have to lose more weight before the will every do anything with my knees.   Oh well guess I will go stand in line to vote today. I feel it really important to do, I have never not vote in a national election.   Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Life is was to short to spend it like this.
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

6-16-08

Man am I tired. I have caught all the feral cats outside today. I have two to take to the clinic tomorrow to be fixed and I will pick up the 8 they already have. I'm very excited about having them all fixed, NO MORE BABY KITTENS. I have had these feral cats around for probably 20 years, they come and the go. I just can't take care of them any longer. I found a place here in town that will do the spade and neutering for 15.00 per cat. Thats really not that bad. I really excited. One less thing to worry about in the future. Now if the dude that owns the house next door will get off my back about the cats it will be great. They will all die out in a few years.   I'm not doing to bad with the eating. I really think the last fill has done some good. I know my portion size is way down. Now just to lose some wieght. My goal is 30 lbs by the time we leave for Hawaii on Sept 30. I think I'm on my way. I have to eat smaller bites and slow way down to eat. Some things still don't want to go down well, but I don't miss them so bad. I still have the need to eat something sweet. Had a pretty good weekend. This week has started out great.
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

9-15-08

Well its been a month since I last post on my blog. I'm still not losing and its still my fault. At least I'm not as fat as I was when I started this journey. I hate to think where I would be without the band.   I leave in two weeks for vacation. I wanted to lose 30lbs, but I have lost maybe 5lbs. I guess I just don't want it that bad. I know all the reasons I should do it, but I just don't do it. I eat all the wrong things. I have so much trouble with the good stuff that I fine myself eating all the wrong stuff. The wrong stuff just goes down easier.   Oh well I haven't given up completely yet. I will try to do better each day,but no promises either.
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

8-12-08

I'm so disappointed in my weight. I know I'm not doing what I should be doing, but I can't seem to help myself. What in the world is wrong with me. I'm not happy,I'm sad all the time. I just can't seem to get it together. I thought I was doing better, I had lost four pounds, but their back. I just want to give up. I guess I wasn't really ready to do this. Its been 17 months and I have only lost around 30 lbs. That is so sad and disappointing. Guess I will always be a FATTY. NO ONE in the history of the band as done worst than I have. God Help Me.
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

1st fill

Had my 1st fill yesterday at 10am. I can tell no differents yet. I'm on liquids till Friday. Hope on Friday I fine some differents on how much I can eat. I did lose only 1.4 lbs since my last visit to the doctor. That is really a little depressing, but I knew I was not losing and I knew I could eat way to much. I need to make better choices. I still getting many carbs. I not a great meat eater. I love cheese, but have never been able to lose weight when I eat to much cheese. I can eat beans but they are high in carbs. I don't eat eggs, I cant stand the smell or the taste of eggs. Besides I tried to eat scrambled eggs at the resturant last week and the didn't go down very good. I cant eat tuna but with the mayo and pickle relish that not to heathy either. I just have to start excerising I have no excuse now. I'm feeling much better and I'm getting my engery back. I just have to do this. The fill was the really really easy yesterday, I was really nervous, but it was a breeze.
carol1951

carol1951

2
 

6-10-08

Why? Oh Why? can't I lose like everyone else with the lapband. I just don't seem to lose. I have played with the same five pounds since Feb. I do try and I know I'm not eating nearly as much as I did before the band. I must just make bad choices. Yesterday I had weight control oatmeal for breakfast, lunch I had a panni forzen sandwich the light kind, supper I had meatloaf and corn. I had for a snack yesterday small cup of rice pudding, 90 calories. That's not that much. I didn't excerise yesterday, but I did do laundry. Today I'm soooo tired. I did to water aroebic, I really like that. My joints have been so bad the past couple of days. I'm not sleeping very good right now, knee hurt even when sleeping. I have woke myself up moaning in my sleep. I know I would probably lose faster if I could do more, but guess I need to find something else to do for excerise. Walking is just hard. I always have walked a lot in the past, but every since my knee got really bad two years ago I just can't do as much.   Oh well, guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself today. So far today I have had my oatmeal and a half order of nachoes. So guess I will drink some more ice tea and get busy with house work.
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

Really discouraged

I have not lost anything in the past week since I had my 1st fill. I don't understand, I know I'm not eating nearly has much I use to eat, but not under 1000 cal either. I getting around 1500 a day, that alone should make me lose something. I have started to pedal every time I get a chance. I have been trying to get my water. I have protien shake for breakfast. Guess I have to eat even less. I know it is harder the older we get to lose weight. I lost more when I was on weight watchers, but I alway gave up that diet after 4 to 6 weeks. The longest I was on weight watcher was 4 to 5 months and lost about 30 lbs. I did opifast back in the late 80's and lost lots of wieght, but of course I didn't keep it off. Why can't I get a handle on this. I'M NOT DUMB, I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO TO LOSE WEIGHT. I just want the weight to come off. Guess I thought with the band it would just happen with out all the work. Maybe I'm just lazy.
carol1951

carol1951

2
 

wednesday, 5-9-07

Well I made it through with out the brownies yesterday, but I did eat to much last nite. Why is it when you are eating to much and you know it,but you don't stop. Why can't I stop myself. When I get done I feel bad. Why do I want to feel bad. Do I believe down deep somewhere that I don't deserve to be thin. I don't want to be really thin, just would like to be able to wear clothes off the rack say size 12 or 10. Can't remember every wearing size 10. I remember in high school wearing size 14. Just I have always been big, not fat, just big. It caught up with me when I got married. I became less active. I was raised on a farm and I always had to help with the cows and gardening, things like that. After I got married we move to topeka, ks and I lived in town. Started having kids and the weight just came on. I remember going to weight watchers when I only weighted 164 lbs. I thought that was horrible to weight 164, I would love to be that small again. I weighed in today at 279. I want to lose like so many other are on this web site. I guess I will lose slow. I just have accept that, and not get down on myself. I have to figure out what to do in the evening, which is the hardest part for me. That is the time I really can get out of control and mess up the whole day. I have to start each day like its the first day of my diet or may I should say my life style change. I know I'm not eating nearly what I was before the band, so I assumed that I would lose faster. Guess I should just be glad that I have not gained more. If I didn't have the band no telling where I would be now. I could be at 315,320 lbls more by now. Count my blesssings.
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

bad week

This past week has just been terrible. Right now I just don't want to diet. I just want to eat. It all started last Wednesday nite when my Husband and I got into a disagreement over the grandkids. He's mad and I don't care, so he's not speaking and I'm not speaking. The least said the better right now. So I'm emotinally eating anything that I can fine. I have gain a couple of lbs and tomorrow is the day I weight at the doctors office and I doubt that I have lost anything again this month. So right now I'm fighting not to eat. I just threw out the cookie dough that I baked into bars yesterday. I did give some to my neighbor and I ate some, the rest is going to the birds. I can't have sweets in the house. I have also ate chips and cheese.   I have to get a hold of my eating. I really do want to lose, but why do I punish myself. I'm not punishing anyone else, but me.   Well tomorrow will tell how bad I have really been. I will do this. I will not punish myself with food. I have to face the music and tomorrow is the day.
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

soupy tuesday 4-10-2007

Its raining today, which the sun would shine and warm up just a little bit. Can't wait to get my 1st fill. I'm wanting something sweet, like a brownie or cookie. I'm a cookie monster big time. I have never met a cookie that I didn't like. Its been 4 weeks since I have had any thing sweet. Thats a really long time for me to go without sweet things. I'm drinking a glass of water right now maybe that will help. Who am I kidding. Its really bad when you have to tell yourself that water is the answer.   I proud of myself, I haven't missed the diet coke at all. That really surprises me. I thought it would be the hardest thing to do, but it's not. Wish rest of the stuff would be that easy. I'm going to try tuna tonite for supper. I have never just ate tuna without bread. I'm to scared to try bread, besides if I fine out that it goes down easy, it might be to easy to eat something else that I don't want to start eating again.   Time to get busy, and stop feeling sorry for myself. This is want I wanted. I do feel better, but still have low energy level, hoping that will get better soon.
carol1951

carol1951

2
 

must keep busy

Yesterday was Easter, it was the first day that I was really down. I hate the holidays. My family is so fractured and we don't do things together any more. I just hate it. I wish that my dh would not be so rigid when it come to our children. I wish he could forgive. Sometimes it worrys me that he's that way. There is always that what if that I live with, what if I don't do want he wants, what if I disappoint him. I hate what ifs.. I really wanted to eat something yesterday. I didn't.   I'm eating about 1200 to 1500 calories a day. Need to get the calorie count down to 1000 a day. Maybe it will be easier when I get my first fill on the 25th. I have to start walking, but its been so cold out side. I suppose to warm up this week. I'm trying to be more active around the house also. I just want this weight gone, now.   Things will be better.
carol1951

carol1951

2
 

just not doing well 11-6-07

I'm not doing so good. I'm not following the diet at all. I know what I should be doing, but I just can't seem to get with the program. My weight is up at this time. I need to slow down and rethink what I'm doing. I do want to lose. I do want to feel better. I know that this last week I've not felt very good. I know it is because I'm not doing what I should be doing. I will try to do better tomorrow. I just have to do this. This is the hardest part of the year with the holiday and all. I have to keep busy and not let thing get to me. I will do this.
carol1951

carol1951

5
 

ups and downs

Got up this morning and was really depressed that I have gained 2 lbs, but what could I expect I haven't really been very good. I then decide I would have a good day that last a couple of hours. I didn't eat breakfast just started paying bills, well I really depressed after that and I sure enough I ate a peanut butter sandwich cookie that is filled with nuttella. Boy was that a hugh mistake, I was kicking myself like crazy. I then went ahead an ate lunch. Had chicken salad on cracker and cantalope. Not to bad and now I could eat a horse. So I had a couple handful of peanuts. Now I have to stay strong till supper. I have to go watch my grandkids for a little while this evening. I love seeing my grandkids they are so cute. So I also pick up a pedometer the other day and I put that on at noon and see how many steps I do per day. I want to increase my step count every day. It has a memory for the last seven days so hopefully I can do more each day. I really want to lose more weight and I have to make some tough decisions each day and I have to do this. If I want to lose weight. I know I still feel like I will never do this, and I sometimes feel like a big old loser that is never going to win. I sometime think I shouldn't even try cause its just not going to happen. I know it will come if I just stay strong and try to not get really down. I think I will try to stay away from the boards. I think I take so much personally that I let everyones success defeat myself. I wish I was that person that has lost 70 lbs already, but I'm not so I think if I quite comparing myself to other I will be better off. I have to keep writing in times like this so that I stay postive. I can do this. I just know I can.
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

discourged

Weighted myself this morning and I'm still at 267.5. Its been 2 weeks since my last fill. I know that I have some restriction now, but I'm not losing yet. I feel that I'm not taking in as much as I was. I been fighting not tracking my food, but guess I will have start. I just don't know why I'm not losing. I figured how many calories I would need to take in to maintain this weight and it was around 2300 calories per day. I feel like I'm not taking in that may calories, plus I have started to do more excercising. Yesterday I went for 20 minutes. I know 20 minutes isn't much for some people, but I'm proud of myself for doing that much. Last year at this time my knee was so sore I couldn't do much at all, just going to the store was a chore. I'm trying to increase my step count each day. I really want to lose this weight. No one as to tell me that at least I haven't gained I have lost 30 lbs,but so discourging when I see people on the boards talking about losing 50 to 100 lbs in the same time. I really glad its working for them, maybe the tool just isn't working for me yet. I will try to track my food this next week and see how I'm doing. I will try to increase my water in take. The other thing that is getting on my nerves is the gas that I'm experiencing. I don't know if that is normal or not. I'm been bloated has well. The gas is just terrible, its painful. I don't know if its increase in fiber, but don't think so.   I will have a good week this week. I will track my food, I will increase my step count, and I will excersise more.
carol1951

carol1951

2
 

this is a great day

Well it happen today. We have a roof for the screen in porch that we have been waiting for, six months, we have been waiting. I had begin to believe it would never happen. We started this journey in Sept and told it would take 2 months. Everything under the sun happen to this project, from rain,snow, to the construction supervisor not passing a test for city, to the city changing the rules. It looks like it may happen now.   I'm doing so much better today. The sun has shone for the first time in about a week. I can't stand it when we have no sunshine. It going rain tomorrow and maybe even snow Friday nite and Saturday morning. I hope their wrong. It's so cold way below average.   I have not been too hungry today.:clap2: I thing I need to take more of the benafiber. I have to order my meds for the mail order rx. TODAY HAS BEEN GREAT SO FAR. Hope to see more of these day.
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

munchies today

I have had the munchies all day long today. I've done pretty good. I've had a bowl of chili, with a 1/4 cup of cheese, a protien bar from south beach, my sugar free pudding for the meds that I crush and a couple handfuls of cinnamon wheat thins. I have drank water, serveral glasses and just switched to crystal light lemonade. Need to get supper fix, having left overs. I still have problems eating chicken. I just doesn't go down very good. I going to eat meatloaf tonight and leave the chicken to my dh.   I have to pack my bags, new york here I came. I'm getting excited about going. Hope all goes well. I going to take a few protien bars and my crystal light with me. I will have to play it by ear on what I will eat there. Breakfast should be no problem.   I have been tracking my foods on fitday.com and I am still getting to many fats and carbs. Fats seem to be in every thing. I will have to work on that when I get back. It is a really good way to see how I'm doing. I have been much better the last couple of day on my calorie count, around 1500 cal a day. I will be happy with that as long as I start to lose. I really need to excerise more. Maybe next week in New York will jump start my walking. I have this deadly fear of dogs and when I go by myself it really worrys me. Need to work on that fear. I not so down on myself today either. I'm going to watch my 2 youngest grandkids tomorrow. That should keep me busy for awhile. I told them only for a couple of hours as I have a lot to do. If I didn't watch them once and while I would never see them and they are so cute. I what my grandkids to remember me some day with fondest, like I do my grandmothers. Oh well its supper time.
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

monday, april 16, 2007

Had a good weekend. We had some snow in the area Friday nite into Saturday morning. Yesterday the sun was out.:clap2: They say it will be about 73 today I hope so, I need sunshine to function correctly. I was a hungry this weekend, but made it through ok. I'm not losing much right now. I seem to be able to eat almost anything, but have stuck to the diet for the most part. I would love to have some pizza and tacos, but if I give in to that craving I might fine out it to easy to eat all the wrong things. I have my 1st fill next week. I see online that most say to fast for a couple hours before, but I didn't get any info on that. So I will take advice of the blogger out there and fast for a while. Really nervous about the fill. Just don't know what will happen. I tried shrimp this weekend and it was fine, just had to chew more than some foods. I still have some trouble with chicken, but not bad. Still need to slow down, between bites. I have done a lot of cheese, cottage cheese, and yogurt. I have some different protien powders, but have not found one the is totally great. I miss my glocosamine, chondrotin. My right knee keeps me awake at nite. I fine myself waking up moaning. It gets very stiff and it really hurts to move it. I have tried a liquid glocsamine chondrotin, but it really is nasty. I will try crushing the pill again, it just it is a lot of pill powder to get down. Today will be a great day for weight loss and walking. I must walk today!!!!!!!
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

I think I have some restrictions now

I think I have some restriction now. I have really go slow eating or it kinda burns up in my throat, and that pain in the middle of my back really kills me. It feels like something is just turning around and around in side of me. I hope I start to lose now. I have not loss very much yet. Its really discouraging to see what some have lost already. I want this gone, but I now it took a long time to get this way and it will take time to have it gone.   Got some really exciting new on Saturday. I got tickets for the View on May 16. Nancy and I are going, no one else good get off to go with us. We leave on Sunday on the 13th and will come home on 17th, my brithday. Nancy's brithday is the 15th. Hope to go down to the Today show also. This will be my 4th trip to the Big Apple and Nancy's 2nd.   My daughter spent the night in the ER with my granddaughter Delaney. Her shunt was fine, she has a miragine. Its always a worry when she doesn't feel good. She will be 5 this month, can't believe it been 5 years since she was born,especially since she was not expected to make out of the delivery room. She has made great strides, she walks, talks, know her colors, goes to school 4 days a weeks. She is really really a blessing in our faimly. She is one of nine gradkids. I love them all and never get see them enough.   Well the workers will be here soon. Hope this porch thing is done this week. They are doing the wiring today and tomorrow, and putting up the screen. Carpet to be put in on Saturday. Can't wait till my house is mine again. Need to get my protien shake down before they get here.   This is going to be a great day.
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

Friends

Last night as I sat watching TV I realized that I don't have a close friend. One that you tell everything to. I keep so many things inside. Its eating me up, so I eat everything I can get my hands on. I think that why I have so much trouble in the evenings. I need to get up off my butt and do something. I'm always afraid of what people will think, so I do nothing. I don't take critism well. I'm not funny. I don't really know to talk with people. People think I'm a bitch, when in fact I'm afraid to say anything. When you have been told that your stipud, and loud you have begin to shut down and you don't talk. Once you start that process you forget how to talk with people. I always feel no one will really wants to hear what I have to said. How do I get over that. I need friendship. I have been around this web site for seven weeks and have only post a few times on the threads. I always feel no one wants to hear what I have to say. I wish I was funny, I love to read what some people write. I feel flat, like no one cares about me. So much for me and my pity party. I had a pretty good day yesterday. The calories add up so fast. I have been trying eggs for breakfast, even through I hate eggs. I found some low fat bacon bits and add some cheese, but that adds up to 300 plus calories. When you are trying to keep calorie under 1200 calories, that doesn't leave many left for the rest of the day. Maybe I'm afraid of not having food to eat. Even when I was on weight watchers I would save all my points till evening so I could eat something when I wanted to. Why do I feel it alway everything or nothing. If I mess up I give up. I have to learn to forgive myself. I guess thats one thing I have never done. I always feel everything is my fault. I never tell anyone no, not even myself. This band is going to be a real learning experience.
carol1951

carol1951

2
 

8-3-07

Today is Dana's birthday, I can't believe its been 36 years since she made her enterance into this world. It would be a darker place without her.   I'm feeling much better today. My weight is back down 2lbs, which is a great relief. I had a pretty good day yesterday. I peddled for 6 minutes and I wore pedometer all day. I did do shopping yesterday, so today I will have to get out and walk for awhile. I want to figure out how many step I take in a week. I will then have a average to work on and then I will start to increase my step count. I just have to do something to start this weight loss. I tryed to eat more protien yesterday. Most protien is hard to get down. I need to slow down my eating and chew better. I let myself get to hungry before I eat. I must work on that.   It will be a wonderful day today. I can do this.
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

I'm I just nuts

I really want this to work, but I seem not to work at it. I just want the weight to fall off and I not have to do anything. I know thats nuts, but thats the way I feel. I didn't have to do any work to get here, why do I have to work to get rid of it. Crazy isn't it to think like that, but this morning thats the way I feel. Why is there days where you do great and then day when I could care less what I eat.   I weight this am and I back up again. I weighted 270.2 ths morning. I seem to only lose when I'm doing liquids. Maybe I should stick with liquids for a while. I don't know what to do.   I have got to track my calories (I do much better and I know I do better when tracking my calories). I have to excersize (which I hate to do, I have never found anything that I really enjoy). People tell to swim, but (I have known serveral people who have drowned). I don't mind walking( I just don't like doing it by myself--dogs you know).   I wish I could inlist my DH to excersize with me, but he hate it just as much as I do. Maybe this is his way of defeating my weight loss. He never encourges me or tells me I'm doing good. I think this journey is on my own. I really want to lose this weight. So I have to stop putting road block up or trying to blame someone else. I have to do this on my own(now).   I really miss my comfort foods. I still eat pizza, but only the topping, no crust for me. I really miss have a great hamburger, no bread for me. Bread seems to be the only thing I can't eat anymore. Everything else is ok. Meat I have to eat slowly or it hurts like the devil. All the other stuff goes down way to easy. I have had my third fill I'm at 2cc in a 4cc band, but I really don't have a lot of restriction yet. I read where some people can only eat 1/2 cup of food at a time. I can still eat a lot more then that. Maybe I have already stretched my pouch out to much. I don't have a clue, why I do this stuff to myself.   Today is a new day I will try to get a better handle on it today. I will use fitday.com, I will try some kind of excersize. I will drink my water, I know I didn't get anywhere close to drinking 64 oz yesterday, I might have gotten in 24 oz. I don't drink like I should (maybe that is why my weight was up this am). I will start right now with a bottle of water, then will try to eat something for breakfast. This will be a good day.
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

422007u

Ok I'm going to try this again for the 3rd time. I don't know what I have hit, but it earses everything. I figured out yesterday that most of diets have failed at the 4 week mark. Maybe its bordom, I really don't know. I ate some chips and dip yesterday. They went down way to easy. I have not had anything sweet (cookies, cake, pies, candy) in 5 weeks. I would kill for a brownie right now. I need to get through this next week, till my fill. I have read some of the thread and it makes me really nervous. I hope everthing goes well. I'm flirting with the 280 mark on my scales up one pound and down one pound. I walked to the cornor yesterday and back. Thats like two blocks. I need to get my strenght back. I have started to really get more done in the house, so maybe I have turned the cornor. I ate some shrimp yesterday and it did not stay down, won't try that again. Well I need to get up do something.
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

2-28-08

So far I'm doing better this week, but I feel I'm doing it all by myself. I still don't feel alot restriction from the band. I can still eat 2 cups at least at a meal. I have tried to stick to 1 cup at a meal but I get really hungry in about 1 to 2 hours. My stomach makes really horrible noises also. Today after my protien shake for breakfast I went shopping and didn't feel very good. Thought I would just past out before I got home. I was so hungry. I'm keeping track of what I eat this week on thedinnerplate.com, I'm trying to stay with in their calorie count to lose 2lbs a week. Will see if this works. I still think the doctor need to see if there is a leak in my band. After all I'm suppose to have 4.2 cc in my band. I would think it would have some effect on what I eat and how I feel when I eat. I really what this weight gone, so I guess for now I will have to do it on my own. If I'm going to do it on my own I wonder why I need this band. Oh well I have lost some and I have kept it off for a year, its just not as much as I wanted. I see other losing over 100 lbs in the same time and its really discourging to know that I have lost only around 30lbs. I want to feel better. My knees are killing me and I have so much trouble walking. I'm so stiff when I get up,you would think I was eighty. I did join the YMCA yesterday. I have to wait for them to call me as soon as the get the ok from my doctor to start working out. I hope that walking on a track will do me some good, as soon as I lose some more I will start to add to my excerise routine. Oh well time to go to bed. My stomach kinda upset tonight, it does that sometimes when I take my night meds.
carol1951

carol1951

1
 

12-13-07

I'm really feeling better about the band right now then I have in the past few months. I have more restriction then I every have and it feels so good. I'm not hungry right now and its a wonderful feeling. Now if I can just kick in the excerise I think the weight would just about fall off. I have to get more activity going. The ice if falling off the trees today, and the sun is shining. I love sunshine. The talk is more snow tomorrow night and Saturday, I really hope they are wrong. I need sunshine to function at a good pace. I took my sister to airport this morning and I wish I was going with her to Hawaii. Oh well I will deal with what I have and count my blessing.
carol1951

carol1951

2
 

thursday, 5-31-07

Well it been two weeks since my last fill and have very little restriction. I guess I should call the doctors office and see if I can get another fill and not wait another two weeks. I can get at least 2 cups at a sitting. I'm not eating as much as I was before my band, but not anywhere close to 4 oz's the doctor talked about. I'm going to challenge myself to excersise this month. I will start slow and add some time to it each week. Dana wants me to do the walking program at zona rosa that is to start tonight. I don't think I can walk as far as the want you to. If it wasn't for this journal I might as well be invisable to the world out there. I'm trying to keep track of my food intake on fitday.com. Do pretty good most of the time, but somedays I just don't feel like doing it. I also don't do very well on those days. I still can't see myself as every being a normal size. I have been this size for so long, I hope and pray that it will come. My love affair with food is going to kill me if I don't get it under control. My blood pressure is better, can't say that much for my blood sugars. I the blood sugars are coming down slowly. I would love to get off the medications. Today will be a good day.
carol1951

carol1951

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