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1 Month!

So, tomorrow will not only be my birthday, but will also be 1 month since I've gotten my surgery!! I will be weighing myself tomorrow and hoping that the totally weight I have lost for the month is 30 pounds. That would be awesome!! I also can start regular food!! YAY! No more liquid or soft diets. My stomach isn't hurting anymore and I can finally sleep on both my sides comfortably with no pain!! My Phillies Jersey that only couldn't even button can now be buttoned, my jeans that couldn't even be zipped can now zip, and I went to the movies for the first time in a loooooooong time and I was able to fit into the seat better then I did the last time I went. Little things are proving to me that I am in fact losing this weight and it really makes me motivated and happy!! =] I got to see my surgeon in another week so hopefully he can tell me I can start lifting so I can start in on my weighs and the gym. Just wanted to write a little update and say how great I'm doing. No pain [except if I walk a little too much], I have so much more energy I don't even know what to do with myself lol, and I'm just looking and feeling better. I'll probably take some pictures tonight of myself and post them later. Thank you everybody for all your support that you've given me!!
Shesgotstyle

Shesgotstyle

5
 

5 Days After Surgery!

So, I'm feeling a lot better than I did. The gas pain is barely there. It comes and goes, but it's not a constant thing like it was. My incisions are sort of hurting, but it's not unbearable. I've stopped taking my pain meds just because number one I don't really have THAT much pain anyways and number two becuz it was causing me to hallucinate at night. Just trying to get all that medication out of my body since I'm not use to being on any kind of pills or medicine. I came home Sunday and Monday was probably the worse for me so far just becuz I'm use to having my privacy and being alone and there I was in front of EVERYBODY in my house and them constantly on me saying "you should be drinking more water"..."you should be walking"..."you should be doing this and taking that." I was going crazy!! I hated the fact that I couldn't move around like I wanted and go out anywhere. I was really getting depressed and started saying how much I regretted getting the surgery done. But, people were telling me that's normal. My nurse even told me before I left that I would have those days where I'm going to regret it and wish I could take it back and feel miserable, but to keep pushing forward and remember it will get better. Them nurses were such lifesavers, I tell ya!! But, the next day I got out of that miserable mood and just tried to stay positive and in a better mood. I know I have a lot of help and people that care behind me. I've been sleeping in a recliner since I've gotten home becuz it hurts to much to sleep in a bed...I just can't sleep right. But, as of last night I really don't want to sleep in the recliner at all. It's starting to get uncomfortable and all I want to do is sleep on my side. I tried this morning to lay in a bed and go to my side with a pillow in front, between my legs, and behind me, but I was still hurting and uncomfortable =( I don't know what I'm going to do tonight. It was such a nice day out for the last 2 days, yesterday I walked out to the deck and sat outside to get some fresh air. And then my mom took me for a drive around town just to keep me sane lol It felt soooooo good. I can't even tell you. Just to have some fresh air flowing through ya and just to get out and a reminder that there is a life behind the four walls I've been stuck in lol Today it seems like I've been struggling with wanting FOOD...I'm sick of the broth, I'm sick of the apple juice, and popsicles. I'm afraid I forgot how to chew!! lol All I keep thinking is I want a slice of pizza, a hamburger, some chocolate. UGH!! But, I think all I really want is just some solid food!! A small salad or even small veggies or fruits. But, I know it's going to be awhile before I can eat anything like that. One secret...maybe it's not a secret, but it's definitely been helping me out A LOT lately...is people been telling me live in the moment. Don't worry about the future. Recognize your success now. Well of course that's great and all. I do live by that even before the surgery, but what helps me is thinking about the future. Thinking about when summer gets here. How I'm going to feel. Thinking about how I'll be able to fit on the rides at the amusement parks again. I'll be able to wear jean shorts and a tank top and not be ashamed. I'll be able to do things without troubles or getting tired. I'll be able to fit in places without having to worry whether I'll be able to fit in them or not. And then what really gets me happy =) is I start to look online at stores that I couldn't shop in before...at all the cute clothes and I kinda start shopping in a way. Put things on my wish list. It really gets me hyped up and more upbeat about the present time. If you don't have something to get ya going and your mood positive you will end up in a slump. Attitude is definitely EVERYTHING!! Tomorrow I go back to see my surgeon for the first time since I seen him in the hospital. I'm so excited just to get out! lol But, I'm also excited to see how much weight I have lost already. I know it's only been 5 days, but everybody is telling me that I look like I lost a good 15 pounds and I can definitely see it in my neck and shoulder area! That's another thing that keeps me going. When people or yourself can start seeing results...ahhh it's a great feeling!!! Let me tell you =) I'm sure he'll be taking off my bandages that are on the incisions and that part I'm not looking forward to just becuz I have a very week stomach. The other night I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I was standing in front of the mirror and looking at the bruising and where it was all taped up. I almost passed out. I had to hurry up and lye on the bed becuz I almost blacked out. Let me just say it happened to me during the spring last year. I had fallen and skinned my knee awful. I thought I had broken it when I went to stand and I ended up blanking out right then and there. I ended up needing to go to the hospital. So hopefully I can just turn my head and get it over with tomorrow. This whole experience has definitely made me stronger and I never realized how strong I was until I went through something like this. It's definitely life changing so you better be ready to go! I definitely am =)
Shesgotstyle

Shesgotstyle

5
 

First Visit With My Surgeon Since My Surgery! *6 Days Out Of Surgery*

Ok so went to go see my surgeon today and guess what???....I LOST 13 POUNDS!!! In only 6 days people...6 days!! He took my bandages off and I thought for sure I'd be grossed out but they are BEAUTIFUL [except of course for some bruising mainly from the needles they gave me in my belly to prevent blood clots, but no worries...the needles don't hurt one bit..I was scared, but they were like nothing after the first one lol promise *PIX UP OF THEM WITHOUT BANDAGES*]!!! lol Kinda hurting right now, but beautiful nonetheless lol I can start my full liquid diet tomorrow YAAAY!!! That means strained cream soups [so having tomato soup tomorrow lol],sugar free ice cream and yogurt. OH YEA!! Of course though I've been craving ice cream so I went and got a small sugar free ice cream. Felt so good, didn't eat all of it...put the rest away. But, it also I believe caused me to have my first bowel movement since Saturday!! And he said I can go upstairs as many times I want now...I can run, jump,walk miles, do whatever just not lift yet. Oh yeaaa. I still can't overdue it becuz I'm still weak if I do to much like earlier today [i finally was able to take a shower on my own, but of course going up all the steps to the bathroom plus the shower was exhausting enough for me. I had to come down and relax. It really takes a lot out of you] and I'm not use to it, but little bylittle and it's gonna be great!! Oh and I just went driving for the first time in awhile!! Super feeling lol
Shesgotstyle

Shesgotstyle

2
 

2 Days After Surgery! Just Got Home.

So, the night of surgery was horrible!! I was throwing up blood and gagging everywhere. Couldn't sleep at all. It was just a terrible night. They try to get me walking yesterday and I was too out of it to even move. I just needed pain med after pain med and blood pressure meds. The nurses were so nice to me and they became like family. They told me to come back in 6 months to come visit them to show them my progress. I love them!! Was able to sleep better last night. Woke up this morning...my mom helped me take a shower, talked to the surgeon and was able to go home. Finally was able to eat something today. Had some warm tea, jello, and chicken broth. Constipated, but hopefully it's just because I haven't really eaten much. The gas in my stomach is what's killing me at this point. Big gas bubbles yet nothing is coming out. It's just stuck there =( They told me I need to start walking, but I just hate it because it hurts and I still don't have the energy. But, I don't want any blood clots and I know it may help with my gas too right? Well, I'm pretty tired so I'm going to relax, sip on my isopure, and probably take a walk soon. Just trying to be strong and get through this. Thanks everybody for the support =)
Shesgotstyle

Shesgotstyle

6
 

About To Walk Out The Door To Start My New Journey!

Could barely sleep last night...woke up just a few minutes ago and I feel like I'm going to FREAK!! I'm trying to stay as calm as possible, but I know as soon as I get in here I'm going to have a panic attack. I can just feel it coming on. I'm so scared like you wouldn't want to believe!! I hope I don't back down. I know God will be with me and I have my family and friends there and an amazing surgeon, but I guess it's only natural to be afraid. I'm TERRIFIED though lol Well everybody I'm about to get ready and out the door I go!! I will be updating once I'm out of the hospital probably tomorrow afternoon so keep a look out. Hopefully I won't be in that much pain. Thank you all for the support <3 =)
Shesgotstyle

Shesgotstyle

2
 

1 Day Till Surgery!

So, tomorrow is my surgery. I find out today what time I have to be at the hospital. It is really starting to set in...my life is going to be changing. I've been stuck in this rut for years and been overweight all my life. I know I'm ready for this change, but it's just a scary thing. I'm trying to make peace with everything before I go in. Make sure everything is good in my life. I took "before" pictures of myself yesterday before I go in and I just can't believe how big I am. I don't like it. I can't wait to lose this and look and feel good about myself. Once I get out of that hospital it's a new me, new decisions, new life, and I'm leaving my past behind me. No more will I let it get me down. No more will I think about the nasty words my ex use to say to me when we were together. No more will I put myself down. From here on out I will tell myself I'm beautiful inside and out. I I'm honestly ready to have a panic attack. For my scope I did and it wasn't that bad lol I was close to backing out then just because I was afraid. I can't think about the fear...I have to think about the end result, but I'm still a nervous wreck. This is my first surgery and the first time I've ever stayed overnight in the hospital. So thankful for my best friend who is going to stay overnight with me. I have such good friends and an AMAZING family that have my back through this whole thing. I couldn't ask for anything more. I thank God every day for the many blessings and I know this is just another blessing he has given me. An awesome surgeon who cares, family, friends, and this surgery. I'm so excited to start my new life. To start working again after years of being unemployed, getting a car again, finding my own place, going to school. I want to travel the world and above all I want to help people. Just pray that God helps me to stay strong through this all. It's already been exhausting emotionally, but I know I'll get through it.
Shesgotstyle

Shesgotstyle

5
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