OMGosh, I’m going to be the ONLY sleever who never loses another pound!
(SHUT UP! )
It’s truuuuuuuuuuueee.
(I said, SHUT UP! You are not…it’s virtually impossible. NO, it’s TOTALLY impossible!)
What am I doing wrong??!
(Nothing! Would you stop?!)
(Are you crying??!)
…*sniff*…no….
(Remember when pastor said, “Picture two dogs fighting. Which dog is going to win?”)
Yeah
(Remember the answer??)
Yeah, “The one you feed.”
(Good girl, DO NOT give in and feed the fear!)
Today was an anticipated treat for me as I headed off to the seedy part of town to meet my dad for lunch. Hilltop Tacoma…it’s pretty notorious. Probably not like going to Harlem for a tourist, but it’s not a place I want to hang after dark. It does however boast some of the BEST Pho restaurants around! For the uninitiated, Pho is Vietnamese Noodle Soup. A Bahn Mi (Bun-mee) is a Vietnamese sandwich with French roots. It’s like taste bud utopia!
It’s not my first outing since being sleeved, but it (wait for it…break into the chorus with me…,) “It feels like the first time, (feels like the very first time).” Hahaha I have no idea where that came from, but I seem to have a song in my heart quite a bit these days. God is good, and I am in love with my sleeve!
I ordered a small rare beef…and there is nothing small about Pho soup. Traditionally, a “Large” is something you could bathe a baby in and a “Small” is probably 3 cups of broth, 4-6 oz of thin sliced beef and about 1½ cups of rice noodles…along with all the garnishes; onions, cilantro, fresh basil, bean sprouts, jalapenos, and a slice of lime. A squirt of hoisen and a touch of sirachi and I am down for the count. I like it just spicy enough that my lips are on the verge of buzzing. Oh yeah, NOW we’re talkin’!!
Anyway, as my mouth was watering and I was heady with the smell of anise and spice, it occurred to me that I was going to have to have a plan of attack. I needed a strategy. I’m not supposed to drink while eating…but, but…but it’s soup! You have to eat and drink at the same time. Dilemma!!! So here’s what I did: I gave my noodles to my dad (because who needs all those bland carbs anyway, they don’t add any flavor, just bulk…and I let the rare beef “cook” in the simmering broth. I added my condiments; got it just right, and then I slurped away! Oh My Word—I will never have faux Pho again. Diggidy-Dog, this is the stuff! Now, I’m not admitting to having faux Pho (i.e., instant Pho), because I just ain’t admitting it...But if I did, there would be no comparison. After getting through quite a bit of the broth, I decided to masticate (oh, I hope that doesn’t ruin your appetite lol) a piece of now cooked beef. Mmmm, MMMMM, MM! Then another. And all the taste buds screamed, “Ditto to what she said!”
I thoroughly enjoyed myself and in no way did I feel like I did any injustice to that sublime bowl of goodness.
There is no point to this blog, unless of course it’s just that what the rest of the world may call restriction, I’m calling freedom. This little sleeve of mine reminds me of what a good church is; it’s not about what I can’t or shouldn’t do, it’s about what I get to do!
That’s my salty slice of the day. I hope y’all are living life like you only get one chance…with the blessing of having a second one!
Thanks for listening!
God bless,
Susan
OK, so I was all brave with my talk of how I was all mentally prepared for the inevitable “3 Week Stall”. Yeah, big talk sister! Then after no weight loss since last Thursday, I got socked, like an old fashioned cartoon this morning, WHAM! Picture me (or not) in the bathroom, buck naked with my mouth hanging open, standing on my scale and yelling, “GAINED A POUND??! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!” Not a pretty sight! I’m sort of slogging around in the denial stage right now.
“…more water…must have more water…”
OK, so I know some of you are gonna say that I should stop weighing every day; but shoot, the novelty hasn’t worn off yet. Maybe it just did…probably not, because I know that I’m going to have to work it out and machinate the heck out of this thing, at least the first time. It’s just the way I do things. Grrrrr
So anyway, what do I do? I go running straight to this forum and search “stall” and read just about every post that has anything to do with the word stall!! OK, I got through 2 pages full—there are a LOT of us talking about “stall”. The more I read, the more normal I felt (hahaha, that alone was worth the price of admission!) and I stumbled across this amazingly succinct explanation of why we stall. Now, this makes sense to me and I can deal with it a little more rationally (Lord, I hope that’s not gonna earn me another “yeah, big talk sister!”)
Thanks to meggiep for posting this link! I thought it was worth bumping up! The WHY behind the STALL
Thanks for listening. I hope this link makes someone else feel "normal."
Taking life another salty slice at a time...
Susan
I've settled in with my Isopure/Cranberry cocktail this morning to see if I can get a few thoughts down about what's been going on in (dun dun dun DAH)...The Battlefield of my Mind!
Maybe you remember when you were a new parent and someone said, "Oh a baby changes everything." I do, I sort of was young and invincible, and so my response was a mental, "Duh." Of course, not even a week into child rearing and I was like, "Holy crap, this is hard! How do people do this?!! WAHHHH." Do you remember? Well this, THIS little sleeve of mine? It changes EVERYTHING--it truly is a game changer. Now, it's not bad...but change is not always easy (maybe NEVER for some of us certain personality types...you know who you are...). Maybe easy isn't the right word. Comfortable?
Whatever, my point is it's not bad, but it's new and what makes it particularly uncomfortable is being at the bottom of this steep learning curve. Having head knowledge of how to change a poopy diaper is different than hands-on experience when you are getting the "full senses" tour. Don't get me wrong, I am all about having head knowledge and being as prepared as you can be. Doesn't mean I always am...and frankly, I have been known to leap without looking a time or two.
I'm a cook. I'm a creator-cook. Cooking is what I do, so I have been cooking for my family since I was day 6 post-op. I've made Red Beans & Rice with Andouille Sausage, Arroz Con Pollo, Southwest Taco Chili, Salmon & Rice Pilaf, Beef Peppercorn Stirfry, Sweedish Meatballs... I mean, I like to cook!
Now to some of you, that may seem like unecessary torture, but the truth is, I will always be cooking for my family, making lunches for my son's. Preparing delicious meals is what I take pleasure in doing. Now I just have to deal with not "tasting and partaking" like I did. But regardless of what we are exposed to, the fundamental truth to all of us is that we have an addiction (and I realize that not everyone here does...some have physical or chemical reasons for being overweight) but most of us do, and we have to cohabitate and live with our "poison". This isn't like removing all alcohol from our lives to avoid drinking. We still have to eat, period.
I read a book some months ago written by the wife of a singer whose teenage son accident'y ran over their little 5 year old daughter. The book is entitled, Choosing to See, by Marybeth Chapman. I know it seems random, but sometimes concepts transcend topics. The books title has stuck with me...as much as the amazing story of healing and courage did. I am choosing to see. Choosing to see the truth of why I eat, why I have to stop, why it is OK to do this for me (this may be a foreign thought to some of you, but it seems to be a real stronghold for people of certain faiths), and that it really isn't just about me but about the impact I'm supposed to have on my loved ones. What I eat impacts others and it does matter.
So I said all that to say, someone recently asked me if I still obsess about food. The answer is an unequivical YES. I'm not sure you heard me over there in Idaho, but YEEEESSSS. The motivation has somewhat changed...so I'll cut myself some slack. When you haven't chewed in 4 weeks, even gumming greek yogurt is almost euphoric. I am not overstating this fact. Eating half of a Ricotta Bake (by Shelly), is enough to make you cry. I did. I savored every little tiny miniscule particle that I put on my tongue...all the while knowing that this moment might lead to, gulp, constipation.
What's changed is that I'm spending as much or more time on food now because I'm reading labels for a whole new sub-set of information. It's similar to WW with Fat/Fiber/Protein...and yet it's really all about the protein and the carbs. There is some mental gymnastics for hitting daily targets. It's not hard, it's just different. After some time, I expect to know quite a bit about a variety of foods...just as I use to know the point values of most of my favorites.
Am I mourning the pleasure of snarfing? Yes. OK, if I tell you somthing, you have to promise it's just between us, ok? My son had McD's in the car (he's a brave boy...get's it from his mamma) and I asked him for a french fry. Just one. SHHHHHHHHH! Yes I did! And I ate it too!!!!!! And it was...G-0-0-D. And one was enough. My guilty pleasure was met and paid for and it was enough. Sure, I chewed it till it completely disolved in my mouth...and yes, I know that it could be a slippery slope....but I felt like I snarfed and it made my screaming mind shut-up. Seriously. I totally nipped my whiny mind in the bud by giving it a fry. It didn't bother me after that. I felt like a won. I certainly didn't feel deprived anymore and ultimately, I felt good about having just one!
So, as I head into week 3...did I mention I hit that inevitable "STALL"? Yeah, the minute I introduced yogurt, cream of wheat, etc. I hit the stall. I knew it was coming and I also know that IT is not going to be a game changer for me. Mentally, I've won this battle because really, what the heck can I do? Haha Hopefully it's just a quick blip and I don't lose face on the bravado I'm feeling right now. As I was saying, as I head into week 3...I'm facing the constipation consideration: Not just having less frequent BM's, but actually feeling the urge to go but can't...so I'll increase my water, try to increase my activity a bit, add some fiber. Try to get my BP stabelized--which has dropped dramatically from 145/80 ish to about 95/70....I've had a reduction in meds so we're working on it. It's not just the 30 pounds, but it is the decrease in sodium, no doubt.
So as you see...I'm not obsessing-free yet. I totally look forward to that day, but for now, I'll take things one salty slice at a time and try to keep things in perspective.
Thanks for listening.
May the Lord bless and keep you,
Susan
Well, look who's figured out that BLOG pretty much means voicing the ongoing commentary in my head?! Who knew! The conservative part of my say's, "Oh...this could be dangerous." While the reckless side of me often say's, "You know everyone else is thinking the same thing!" It's like the picture of the puppy with the angel on one shoulder saying, "Scratch on the door!" On his other shoulder is the devil urging, "Pee on the floor!" Ok, maybe not exactly...I promise I'll NEVER advise you to pee on the floor. Well, probably not ever and while we're on the subject (of advise, not peeing) I'm not qualified to advise you on anything. I'm just another voice with my own take on things. This is the part where the little disclaimer voice comes on and say's something like, These statements have not been reviewed by the FDA...or Side effects could include severe cramping, diarhea, complications with breathing...or even, Please check with your physician before starting ANY weight loss plan.
I received an email from a fellow forum member kindly asking me how I was doing since I haven't "blogged" about my experience since my super long and garbled post: "New Name; Sleeved in Seattle." I admit I was taken-aback that she cared enough to ask. In fact, I am downright humbled.
As a fat lady in an all male household of teenagers and hubby, I often feel like nobody ever listens to me. Good grief...how many times have I said, "I told you...?" Can I get an amen? So, when I received Reb's email, and she gently reminded me on how hungry for information I was when I was Pre-Op, I realized what an honor it would be to shed a little salt and light with my personal observations, experiences, musings and discoveries along this "thin and narrow road".
While I give thought to the insightful questions Reb asked me about since my play-by-play post on surgery in Mexico, I thought I would link to my initial post for posterity sake, push the reset button and start my Blog off in linear fashion.
My play-by-play experience of being sleeved in Mexico on July 7, 2011, by Dr. Ramos Kelly. Read it here
Thanks for listening,
Susan
