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A journey to the BANDED side

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The road to hell?

I no longer fear death as I have seen hell and survived it. :nervous I started a 10-day pre-op diet on Tuesday and it was hard! You see I am a chef and the accessibility to food and the pretty much unconscious habit of grazing was almost too much to bear. :faint: Also at work there was, on both days now (yesterday and today) the cruellest of menu items that are some of my favourite munchie food in the world. So not only were they available to me, I was also in charge of one of them! So 8 hours of the smell and sight of them resulted in the same amount of time for me to say “no, you can’t! 3.5 times per minute!   I think it may be the forbidden fruit aspect of the food as well. :hungry: I look at the items and think, ‘OH I like that, I should have it for lunch’, then in the back of my head I recall the memory of how it tasted and felt in my mouth and the shear joy of getting it into my bell. (This is a lot more sexual than I realized when I started this) anyway, I then remind myself that “No no, you can’t have that, only the Yoghurt and Cottage cheese, you silly silly man!” making me very disappointed :pout: in the fact that I can’t have it and a touch angry :mad2: for the same reason. Then I go to the next item on the menu and do it all over again, from memory to disappointment, continuing the cycle until I reach the bottom of the food list, only to start at the top again and act like I’m reading shampoo instruction, do it and repeat, again and again for my whole shift.   Today was a little easier as I drank copious amounts of water while working on my dishes, thus making me (and my bladder) full to the point were I didn’t really want to eat anything. I kind of see why the PTB want me to drink lots; it fills the belly and is good for me too. I find that boredom :bored plays a big factor too. If I am not challenged I find I am grazing, more to give me something to do than anything else. This is not a new thing for me, if it was I wouldn’t need the Band’s help to take and keep the weight off.   All this to say that I have glimpsed my own personal Hell, it is hot, humid, full of temptation and pressure. I have had many devils :evil: for bosses, and will probably have many more, even some devils :devious in the form of coworkers. That is why I no longer fear death, I have seen the other side, it is not nice, but it will be mine to lament in forever-ish. So when I return, the devil will be happy to see me, not to torment me for eternity though…   (He’ll probably offer me a job!:heh: )
Mr. Yoda

Mr. Yoda

3
 

Rocky Road

Oh my good Gravy!!!   I had my first day of ten, pre-op diet and it is going to be SO hard!   I litterally had to tell myself every minute or so that I cannot have everything!   And of course everything was much more appealing with the whole forbidden fruit aspect...   But I will persevere with all the will power I can muster...   After all I am not a JEDI master by chance.
Mr. Yoda

Mr. Yoda

1
 

Last Legs

It is a salem occation today as it is the final day of people food for me ! I must start the Pre op diet as of tomorrow.   I have had pretty much all the foods I like in the last 3 days. I had a lunch at eastside marios, I had fish and chips at a local Joeys, H&D rocky road ice cream, m&ms, and a nice peanut butter sandwich.   Tomorrow I feast on Yogurt and Cottage cheese (bacteria filled milk and it's by-products) for the next ten days! It will be tough (since I will have daily access to some yummy food (pasta, sauces, Brocettes, chicken kiev, steak, stew, Clubs, Burritos, fries, various other potato dishes, vegy galore, pastry, sweets, )   SIGH!   This also means that in 10 days I will be turned to the banded side. I may have to change my name to something like "Darth Bandito" or "Chewawacca" or "Luke soothimaker" or how about "Band Solo"   Knaw... I'll just stick with Mr. Yoda...   Oh well, it is for the greater good... I will just enjoy what I can have, miss what I can't, eat slow, eat often and muddle my way through...   Viva the resistance!   Today is my last day of people food!
Mr. Yoda

Mr. Yoda

1
 

Hand in my pocket?

I have an older Doctor and I figured that at my normal 3-month visit with him I would tell him about going in for the Lap band. :ballchain:I anticipated his responses of “What is it? How does it work? What is expected after the operation?” stuff like that. However when I mention that I am going for it, he already knows all about it and blah blah blah! :blah: I was shock that he knew what it was and most of what it entailed.:faint: He did have a couple points mixed up, but hopefully the pamphlet I left for him will clear it up. He even mentioned that he should be paying me for consulting him with this as he wanted more info and here I was giving it to him.:suspicious:   But he was VERY supportive and was actually encouraging about the surgery, mostly because he sees it as a solution to my other health problem.:clap2: He is hopeful that the subsequent weight loss will diminish the adverse effects of my hypertension, which in turn will help control and possibly eliminate my Type 2 Diabetes, which in turn will reduce the dosage and number of Meds I currently take. So generally improving my state of wellness and health.   Then as I mention that I need a letter of proof (for my PCHP) that I am morbidly obese thus making me eligible for the pittance of a reimbursement for them :phanvan (barely 6% of the total procedure cost). However the FORCE was with me as he asked me on the scales. You see I am around 275 currently, with my height of 5’10” my BMI is hovering about 39. That is bad enough but to be clinically M.O. you need a BMI of 40! And unfortunately we all know that that one point will be the reason for denying the claim. :heh: So as I stepped onto his scale it read 276, and as he came around to have a look, I shifted ever so slightly almost willing the scale to read more and presto change-o, it did! It actually moved to read 280, enough to put me solidly (or flabbidly) into the BMI 40 category. So clinically I was the size I needed to be. :whoo: (Never thought you would read someone cheering to be Morbidly Obese, did ya?)   Then in the next breath, he says, “That will be $60.00!” :money: for the letter to get 6% back, he too has to reach into my pocket for money (Sigh), :noidea: I guess everyone has to have his or her share as well. (Maybe I should have charged a consult fee earlier?) Anyway, it is nice that we are on the same page with all this…   (Maybe not the same book tho…)
Mr. Yoda

Mr. Yoda

1
 

Baby steps...

Had my consult at TLBC in Toronto yesterday. Took about an hour and a half and it went well and they had an opening for the 4th of May. So in a little less than a month I will be turned to the Banded side. :bandit   The journey will not be easy! Oh no! The PTB have already set an obstacle to trip me up. They gave me a directive, a 10-day pre-op diet:hungry: that is designed to weaken the strongest and most powerful of humans. I speak of the Yoghurt and clotted cheese diet, the very dietary bane of the lactose intolerant . I may find this doubly difficult as I have access to many more delectable and tasty morsels, as I cook for my diners, but I shall endeavour to resist this evil and stay on the true path.   So I am a combination of nervous and calm, excited and relieved, with a dash of terrified and glad. But there is always that tiny voice of dread and disaster that I can’t shut off. That Jiminy Cricket with a blow horn,:director: the naysayer that always plays devil’s advocate pointing incessantly at the danger and woe that can always befall any decision made. But this time I will not listen :lalala: for I know all will go well and the band will work with me, like the thousands of others before me and the multitude that will follow me to the Banded side.   The single step has been taken and the first test to see if I am worthy to join the Brethren on the Banded side. With no hesitation I move forward and despite (or because of) JC screaming in my ear, I continue on the path...   (and stayed on my feet!)
Mr. Yoda

Mr. Yoda

1
 

In the beginning...

Monday, April 2, 2007   It has been a little over a year now since I have heard about the LapBand. If you set your wayback machine to February 2006 you will find my wife and a co-worker disussing this new proceedure like a gastricbypass and see the first steps towards the Banded side.   Jump forward 2 months to a nervious Mr. yoda at TLBC in Toronto waiting to hear how his better half has done in the surgery. She came through fine with her own little symbiont implanted inside her belly, to help her loose the weight that has plagued her for far too long.   With a slight fast forward we see her melt away, loosing over 70 lbs in a little over a year. Health improving and shopping like a 16 year old valley girl with a new limitless credit card from daddy.   But alas you will also witness the slight reduction in my weight followed by the explosion of my waist line as I find all her losses like a Hardy boy on speed. This is just one of the many see-saw battles of the bulge that I have waged for as long as I can remember. Always losing in the end. (the battle not the weight).   Then as the wayback machine returns us to now, we find that after I have witnessed the effectiveness of the Band, I too am considering it. It is not a choice made lightly(no pun intended). As I am a Chef :hungry:and food is my business. She is my mistress, my second love, my second passion and ultimately my bane.   Luckily my first love and passion, my sweet wife, has shown me the benifits of the Band symbiont, and the plus' she has experienced moves me towards the banded side. I have will power that rivals a monk, as demonstrated 5 yrs ago when I quit smoking cold turkey with the realization that I could be spending that time I was wasting with the sticks of cancer, with my wife! and that thought alone was enough to give it up forever (I even appologied to her for wasting that little time several months later).   Now I see that with the BAND, I could have even more time with her, and that is more than enough to make me want to turn my back on the Bane of my existance. I am also sure that with my will and her love I can win the battle of the bulge once and for all. I just need a small tool, (men like tools) to give me the edge to lose this extra person I carry around now.   This journal will be the record of my journey from obesecity through pudgytown to skinnyville, filled with yammerings, complaints, trials, tribulations and ultimately successes. It is said that a journey starts with a single step!   My single step starts on April 5 2007 when I go to TLBC in Toronto to have a consult with their staff to see if I am worthy of the Band. It will all begin (hopefully) in 3 days.   "Once you start down the BANDED path, forever will it dominate your destiny!... Consume you it will..." truer words were never written!   (in this journal)
Mr. Yoda

Mr. Yoda

1
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