Zoey's Blog

My Story...

Hello readers! I want to start off by saying I am writing you all my story in hopes that it will get rid of some of the emotions I am holding inside, and some of the things in my head that I've been wanting to say but didn't know who to tell. I was told by my doctor journaling is a good way to say the things that sometimes you are afraid to say, or dont know who to say them too. I figure by blogging maybe I can help someone else out with their weight loss journey along the way. So here goes nothing.. I guess I should introduce myself so you can better understand my journey. My name is Zoey and I am currently 24 years old, 5 feet 6 inches tall and when I started my journey I was at my heaviest(weighing in at 310 lbs on March 1st 2011.) I have been heavy all my life. Myself as well as the majority of my family have always struggled with our weight. My doctor for most my adult life had said I should look into having surgery, as I've had countless failed weight loss attempts. Prior to having surgery I had tried just about every diet on the market and taken many different kinds of weight loss pills. Yet I couldn't seem to lose much weight. Everytime it was the same thing, lose a few pounds, gain even more back. I had done all the research, weighed all the risks and talked to numerous family, friends and online support groups before making my decision to have surgery. I knew just about everything there was to know on all the different kinds of weight loss surgeries. I knew that if I didnt make a drastic change I would end up living a shorter more painful life. I dont remember the last time I loved or even liked my body. I couldn't remember the last time I could say I weighed less that 200+ pounds. March 1st was the day that changed everything, the day I attended the required informational meeting at Park Nicollet that would forever change my life. I should probably let you know I along with all my research had also looked at many options of where and who I wanted to perform my surgery. I chose Park Nicollet after finding out that all my doctors would be under one roof and there wouldnt be a ton of running around. All the doctors, nurses, and staff knew each other, worked with one another on a dialy basis, and a good majority themselves had made the decision to have weight loss surgery. My journery started March 1st with attending the meeting. Just a short time later, May 24th 2011, I under went surgery. I know many people have told me that is a short amount of time from beginning to end but let me tell you it was one of the worse, most stressful 2 1/2 months of my life. I decided in the beginning that I was only going to tell the people most important to me about my surgery. I knew that for some people deciding who you are going to tell about your decision is even more difficult than the surgery and recovery its self. Its very emotionally and mentally draining to decide who you are going to tell or if you'll just tell everyone. After telling my parents, brother and sister in law, I told a couple friends 3 to be exact. I thought that would be good enough, that was all the support and stress I needed. I soon realized for me however, there were a few more people I was going to want to tell. I had some mixed reactions in telling my family, in particular my brother. I got the same reaction from him as I knew I would get from the majority of people. He wanted me to try another diet, try working out more, try eating differently. Being that he is not over weight and never has been, I knew this would be a likely response. I initially decided I was not going to tell anyone I worked with about it and was just going to say I was having surgery and leave it at that. Yet curioscity kills that cat every time and people would ask me "what kind of surgery are you having?" I soon turned to the excuse of a car accident I had been in June 2010. Most everyone at work knew I had been in a pretty bad car accident. Most people would ask if it was because of that. My response was always "yes its surgery to help with my back pain." Although this was a cover up, it was also some what the truth. My being over weight and having injured my back the year before did not work too well together. At first this was fine and it was an easy way to avoid tellig people the truth. After time it started to bother me emotionally because I wasnt being 100% truthful with people. To date I have extended my initial list of people to include the people I talk to the most at work, the people I eat lunch with at work, and my manager. I dont regret my decision to tell the people I did the truth. I know for me over time I will most likely tell more people. For me not telling people the truth is hard. I dont lie well and under pressure I generally crack. Thought I've told more people about surgery there are a number of people, my extended family, that I have chosen not to tell and dont plan on ever telling. My extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, are not always the most understanding people in the world. Prior to surgery I lost right around 30 pounds. I am not quite at the one month mark yet from surgery but as of June 16th I weigh 255.5. Which means since March 1st I have lost 54.5 pounds. I don't know how this compares to everyone else's progress but I think it's pretty good. The biggest thing since surgery that has been a struggle is seeing how little I am eating and feeling mentally as though I am wasting away. It's hard to see yourself after so many years eat so little food. I have had a lot of nausea since surgery which hasn't helped one bit either. I am currently still on medication to get rid of the nausea but am finding each day that goes by it seems to get better and better. I have my one month mark check up this coming Thursday the 23rd. I am interested to see what the doctors have to say about my progress and am interested to see what I will weigh in at. I will try and update this when I can. I apologize if I rambled I just needed to put it all in writing and get it out of my head.

Zoey

June 21, 2011

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