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My LapBand Journey

Entries in this blog

 

March 11

9 days of mushies left! I'm finding that my mood has levelled off a bit the last day. Plus, I'm down 18 pounds so I feel like it's working and that helps with my moods. I found some good soup recipes for mushies that I am going to try tomorrow. My SIL is here this weekend and I don't really want to try new stuff with her here in case she asks any questions. That's the last thing I need!   I get a bit worried reading about slippage and stuff and just hope that my band is kind to me.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

February 28

I'm having some weird mood swings. I know it's the week before my period which normally is a moody week but I just don't feel that great. Maybe I have the mushy blues? I am doing fine sticking to mushy and blended stuff but I am having a hard time sticking to a 1/2 c. I am trying to figure out if it's head hunger or physical hunger..... My calories are still SO much lower than normal but I don't want my stomach to have to work harder than it's supposed to right now. I am just so anxious to heal and start seeing what I can do with this band. It's hard to wait more.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

The Beginning

Well, the time for my probable surgery is getting closer so I thought it would be a great idea to record my thoughts/feelings/emotions as I begin this journey. It's weird because part of me can't even believe that I am at a point where I need lap band surgery. Surely it can't be true but it is and now I've decided to embrace what I hope/believe will make me feel and look like the woman I am on the inside.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

February 20

I am so glad that surgery day is tomorrow. The anticipation is killing me these past couple of days. I have done well with the liquids and am proud of myself (except for my slip!) and my liver should be nice and small. I lost 10 pounds total and I hope and pray that this is the beginning of good things for me in terms of my body. Wish me luck- I can't wait for the next few days to be over.   Julie
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

January 31

Well, it looks like the surgery is happening for sure on February 20th. I had an appt this morning and they finalized everything. I have my pre-op on Feb 10th and then start my liquid phase that day. My nerves are everywhere and I've started a long to-do list of what needs to get done before the surgery. This is always the way I cope with things so I even laugh at myself as I write down this list.   I'm happy, excited, scared, and nervous all at the same time.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

February 26

I blended cream of potatoe soup today with creamy tomato verd... something or other and it was SO good. I ate more than a 1/2 cup but didn't stuff myself. I stopped when I needed and had a shake for breakfast and dinner so as not to make the band work too hard. This is hard work already and it's only just begun. I think it will better when I am able to eat and exercise like a normal person. This healing phase is pretty rough.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

January 20

I have an appt on Tuesday and am worried that I've gained a couple of pounds. I'm supposed to lose 14 pounds before the surgery not gain a couple. My weight has held steady since October and I feel that is an accomplishment to tell you the truth. I'm feeling a bit like every big meal could be my last and it's really hard to fight those feelings. I'm just taking it day by day and really trying hard to do positive self talk.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

February 10

I had my pre-op appt today and it went well except that it lasted for 3 hours. :help: Most of the time I was waiting to see the different people that needed to see me so it was really tedious. I am all set though and unless something significant shows up in my blood work (which I can't imagine it would!) then the surgery will be at 10am on 2/21.   I start the liquid fast tomorrow and have decided to let go of all of the anxiety that I have surrounding it. Yes, I am going to be hungry, yes it's going to be hard and yes I am nervous. BUT I can't let it rule all of my thoughts over the next 10 days. I am going to focus on the fact that I am preparing for a new life and it's time to start learning how to shake the grip that food has on me.   I am ready to take off the fat suit and find me again.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

February 15

Today was much better. In fact, I barely felt any "real" hunger. The head hunger is pretty rough but even that is better than yesterday. I think that I actually believe that I can do this and that is a miracle. I have been doing so much thinking and I can't believe how this weight has really cost me my confidence, self-esteem, and joy. I finally feel hope and I'm going to roll with it.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

February 22

Home and banded! Everything went well according to the surgeon. I am really really sore but that's to be expected. I'm working on sipping slowly- things feel weird inside. I'm so happy to be on this side of things.
Julie*

Julie*

1
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