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My LapBand Journey

Entries in this blog

 

February 15

Today was much better. In fact, I barely felt any "real" hunger. The head hunger is pretty rough but even that is better than yesterday. I think that I actually believe that I can do this and that is a miracle. I have been doing so much thinking and I can't believe how this weight has really cost me my confidence, self-esteem, and joy. I finally feel hope and I'm going to roll with it.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

February 14

Today I am really hungry. I thought it was supposed to be easier by day 4 but not yet. I'm hanging in there but I think I might have to go to bed really early tonight. :notagree   I just hope that doing this liquid diet will help me to understand and control that initial hunger that I keep reading about that seems to happen a few days after the surgery. I wonder if the ppl who are hungriest are those who didn't have any sort of pre-op diet? I imagine that the hunger I feel now is the same hunger they feel post-op? Who knows but it is food for thought.   The thing I am worried about giving up the most is soda. I really love Diet Coke- I love the fizz. I figure that I am just going to be done with it and we won't have it in the house anymore. Mark said he'll drink it at work and won't care if it's at home or not. I am happy that Em and Myles won't see me drinking soda all of the time anymore. I'm not a very good role model for them in that aspect.   Julie
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

February 13

Well, I am losing weight with the pre-op diet so that is the good news right?   Actually, it's weird because I am really hungry but almost feeling like I am starting to let go of these demons that keep telling me I can't do this. I think it's because I am on day 3 of the liquids, haven't cheated once, and am feeling a bit proud of myself. It sure is a constant struggle and I hope it gets easier on day 4 but I have faith that I will do it. Plus, a real bonus would be to have the surgery 10 pounds (or so) lighter than I am now!   Otherwise, Mark and I are just trying to work out the logistics of the week. We mainly need help with the kids and getting them home and stuff. Thank God for family support. My parents are being amazing. My Mom even came to work today to have lunch with me and brought her own shake. :eek:
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

February 11

I weighed myself today and I am hoping that this is the highest weight that I ever see for the rest of my life. Mark is going to take a picture of me later in my bathing suit and I'm going to jot down my measurements tonight when I take a shower. This way I know exactly where I am starting from.   I am very hungry- slim fast is just not that filling. I am just trying to work my way through each minute. Mark is being great- he's grocery shopping with Emily right now so that he and the kids have food and I don't have to even think about it.   I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I am having surgery in 9 days. It doesn't quite seem possible.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

February 10

I had my pre-op appt today and it went well except that it lasted for 3 hours. :help: Most of the time I was waiting to see the different people that needed to see me so it was really tedious. I am all set though and unless something significant shows up in my blood work (which I can't imagine it would!) then the surgery will be at 10am on 2/21.   I start the liquid fast tomorrow and have decided to let go of all of the anxiety that I have surrounding it. Yes, I am going to be hungry, yes it's going to be hard and yes I am nervous. BUT I can't let it rule all of my thoughts over the next 10 days. I am going to focus on the fact that I am preparing for a new life and it's time to start learning how to shake the grip that food has on me.   I am ready to take off the fat suit and find me again.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

Easter Sunday

Well, things are going pretty well except I don't have much restriction except for bread products. I find myself having a harder time recently and as usual it's because I am not taking the time for myself. It's been hard with Mark's new job b/c he doesn't get home until 6:30 BUT it's not his fault if I don't get on treadmill. I am working hard now trying to just do it and stop analyzing everything. I know that I feel better and I am starting to look better on the outside. It's time to start working on the inside.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

December 8

So, today I thought I'd have some soup from the dining hall at lunch and there was a winter vegetable garden soup. New food that doesn't work at all is MUSHROOMS. I guess I can't chew those up no matter what. It got completely stuck and I had to spit it back up. Not how I wanted to start my day especially when trying to figure out the portions. I guess the rest of the day will be liquids.....
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

December 7

I'm finally starting to figure out how to work with my band instead of against it. I finally have restriction, this is what I wanted but I have still been trying to eat too much. I realized today that I have to change my mind set and down grade my portion size. Sounds silly but for some reason I have been taking the same old portions and then getting upset when I couldn't eat them even though I really didn't want to. Head hunger is a hard thing for me. Thank God for therapy.
Julie*

Julie*

3
 

December 11

Well, I continue to struggle with foods that work or don't work. I know I'm not too tight b/c I can eat but I'm finding that I can't seem to eat many different things. So, I am struggling b/c I want and need to feel satisfied with my food choices for the lapband to work. I guess it's time to start really looking at some recipes and see what other bandsters are doing.   I also need to exercise- time to get moving.
Julie*

Julie*

2
 

April 5

I have neglected my journal and LBT to tell you the truth. I have been so busy that the computer has been off my radar at night once I am home and work is so busy that I haven't had surf time. LOL   I had another check up yesterday and Dr. Forgione thinks I'm doing well. I lost 5.2 pounds last month and he wants to hold off on any fills until we're back from Florida. I am ok with that- I don't want to have any sudden emergencies with being overfilled or anything while I am on vacation. I have another appt in 1 month and I hope to be down another 5 pounds.   He is fairly conservative and wants me to try and work with the band to see how much weight I can lose before a fill. He said no superhero stuff- just try to eat the right stuff and not starve yourself. I have restriction so I'm going to focus on 1500 calories per day and see what happens.
Julie*

Julie*

1
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