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My LapBand Journey

Entries in this blog

 

February 13

Well, I am losing weight with the pre-op diet so that is the good news right?   Actually, it's weird because I am really hungry but almost feeling like I am starting to let go of these demons that keep telling me I can't do this. I think it's because I am on day 3 of the liquids, haven't cheated once, and am feeling a bit proud of myself. It sure is a constant struggle and I hope it gets easier on day 4 but I have faith that I will do it. Plus, a real bonus would be to have the surgery 10 pounds (or so) lighter than I am now!   Otherwise, Mark and I are just trying to work out the logistics of the week. We mainly need help with the kids and getting them home and stuff. Thank God for family support. My parents are being amazing. My Mom even came to work today to have lunch with me and brought her own shake. :eek:
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

February 11

I weighed myself today and I am hoping that this is the highest weight that I ever see for the rest of my life. Mark is going to take a picture of me later in my bathing suit and I'm going to jot down my measurements tonight when I take a shower. This way I know exactly where I am starting from.   I am very hungry- slim fast is just not that filling. I am just trying to work my way through each minute. Mark is being great- he's grocery shopping with Emily right now so that he and the kids have food and I don't have to even think about it.   I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I am having surgery in 9 days. It doesn't quite seem possible.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

February 10

I had my pre-op appt today and it went well except that it lasted for 3 hours. :help: Most of the time I was waiting to see the different people that needed to see me so it was really tedious. I am all set though and unless something significant shows up in my blood work (which I can't imagine it would!) then the surgery will be at 10am on 2/21.   I start the liquid fast tomorrow and have decided to let go of all of the anxiety that I have surrounding it. Yes, I am going to be hungry, yes it's going to be hard and yes I am nervous. BUT I can't let it rule all of my thoughts over the next 10 days. I am going to focus on the fact that I am preparing for a new life and it's time to start learning how to shake the grip that food has on me.   I am ready to take off the fat suit and find me again.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

February 8

SO, my surgery was changed to February 21st due to a scheduling glitch. Not a big deal in the scheme of things but it screws up the plans I had for help with childcare etc for the week. It will all work out but just adds to my anxiety a bit. I had a strange night last night. I am trying very hard to maintain my weight right now and am really fighting last meal syndrome. All of my good intentions went haywire last night and I ordered 4 different chinese apps and proceeded to eat them all. It was certainly not one of my proudest moments. Hopefully, it's out of my system for now b/c I must say that I felt like CRAP afterwards and my stomach is still upset this morning. I feel like I am on this weird countdown and I just wish I was checking into the hospital this morning to start the next phase of my life.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

February 6

This Friday is my pre-op appt and the first day of my 10 day liquid fast. I find myself wanting to enjoy "every last meal" and then find myself thinking that I am being ridiculous. Isn't the goal a new attitude with food? I have only been working on this for years now!   I am so hopeful that the lapband is going to be the thing that finally helps me to get control. I read about others successes and I don't even dare to hope you that soon it will be my turn. I just want to get the show on the road- the anticipation is killing me.
Julie*

Julie*

2
 

January 31

Well, it looks like the surgery is happening for sure on February 20th. I had an appt this morning and they finalized everything. I have my pre-op on Feb 10th and then start my liquid phase that day. My nerves are everywhere and I've started a long to-do list of what needs to get done before the surgery. This is always the way I cope with things so I even laugh at myself as I write down this list.   I'm happy, excited, scared, and nervous all at the same time.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

January 27

I'm feeling more hopeful and today will be day 4 of exercise and eating better. I am trying to change my thinking- eating well and exercise is a GOOD thing and not deprivation.   I think this attitude will serve me well when I have the surgery. Now the goal is to actually believe it long term and not in these short stints.   Otherwise, I'm really getting excited and nervous to find out if the surgery will be February 20th. If not, I may want until this summer since we will be at Disney World the first week of May. I just don't want to be 4-6 weeks out from surgery and trying to enjoy a family vacation.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

January 25

I am going to copy/paste an email that I sent to my Monday night group therapy/weight loss class.   Thought I'd give you an update about my lap band appt yesterday with Dr. Forgione (the surgeon). Well, the first frustrating part was that I had gained THREE pounds in the last week. He was kind but told me that any more weight gain was unacceptable and that surgery would be cancelled. I was really embarassed and upset but realized that I ate like crap over the weekend and Monday night and didn't exercise. What did I think was going to happen???? So, last night I was back on the treadmill and have vowed to log all of my eating this week and get in my exercise. I am planning on going back over there next Tuesday to weigh in to chart my progress.   He also told me that my Upper GI showed that I have a small hiatal hernia. Basically it's when your stomach starts to go into your esophagus and it's very common with overweight women. Mine is very small and I have never felt any symptoms. So, he told me yeseterday that when he goes in laproscopically he may find that he has to repair the hernia that day and not do the banding until a different time. He is quite hopeful that he won't but wanted me to be aware.   I'm pretty concerned about that but trying very very hard to stay positive. Tentatively, surgery is scheduled for Feb 20th but I will hopefully know more before our meeting next week. ___________________________________________________________   Well, I wrote that email 2 days ago and I am feeling much better. If I have a hernia that needs to be repaired I would rather fix it before I have the surgery and risk a greater chance of slippage.   I'm working on the food. I had 2000 calories yesterday which is too many but am happy to report that I've been on the treadmill for 30 minutes each day. I've decided that I get NO days off with exercise. Once I give myself a little wiggle room I just don't do it. I'm trying to make it as natural as brushing my teeth- wouldn't that be a wonderful thing?
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

January 20

I have an appt on Tuesday and am worried that I've gained a couple of pounds. I'm supposed to lose 14 pounds before the surgery not gain a couple. My weight has held steady since October and I feel that is an accomplishment to tell you the truth. I'm feeling a bit like every big meal could be my last and it's really hard to fight those feelings. I'm just taking it day by day and really trying hard to do positive self talk.
Julie*

Julie*

1
 

The Beginning

Well, the time for my probable surgery is getting closer so I thought it would be a great idea to record my thoughts/feelings/emotions as I begin this journey. It's weird because part of me can't even believe that I am at a point where I need lap band surgery. Surely it can't be true but it is and now I've decided to embrace what I hope/believe will make me feel and look like the woman I am on the inside.
Julie*

Julie*

1
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