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My Weight Loss Journey After VSG

Entries in this blog

 

Three Weeks Post-Op

Well, I survived the liquids stage and on Friday 1/28 started on the mushies stage. I am SO HAPPY to be onto mushies now! I have learned that my new sleeve has more than enough restriction ... a 1/8 cup sized serving is all I can do in a 30 minute time frame ... in order to get enough calories I serve myself a 1/4 cup portion, eat half, take a break, and eat the other half ... takes about an hour or so. I have to remind myself to chew the food to smithereens and that is very different than how I ate before ... as well as put the spoon/fork down between bites and actually pause a bit between bites (never did that in my pre-op days!).   I have a feeling I'll be able to stay on mushies for at least 10 days with no trouble. I actually don't mind the consistency of food whizzed thru a blender so it doesn't bother me. I'm just thrilled to be able to CHEW again! It has been a challenge to not drink during mealtimes. I am so used to drinking while I eat that it's a tough habit to break. I find it hard to get all my liquids too. It's something I really need to concentrate on.       My first couple of days on mushies were very good scale-wise. I had a tremendous weight loss the first week (nearly 12 lbs, I recall) -- then the second week had a 3 day stall and only lost 3 lbs. Week 3 was even worse -- only a 2.5 lb. weight loss. I was beginning to despair of ever losing 20 - 25 lbs my first month, which was my goal. But since Friday I have dropped a couple of lbs. already and that is exciting. I now only have to lose 1 lb. to be equal to a 20 lb. weight loss since my last pre-op weigh-in and I still have a week to go before my month is up, so barring a horrible stall I should be able to meet my goal for my first month. My second goal is to be below 200 lbs. by Valentines Day -- that's achievable too, I think. I am at 205.5 lbs. today so still have 15 days to go to lose over 5.5 lbs.   I also noticed my energy level seems to be improving. It's the weekend so I slept in yesterday and today and that probably helped. I took a good walk today -- first in a couple of weeks, I'm ashamed to admit (but honestly at night after getting home from work, my energy level has been pretty low). I felt like I was walking at a pretty good clip, too, but not too fast. I am starting to notice it's easier to exercise ... I'm down over 25 lbs. since the beginning of December -- hard to believe!   My clothes are definitely getting looser. That is cool. Nearly my entire wardrobe is size 22W (2X - 3X -- I have consistently been that size for YEARS). I am hoping just to wear my clothes until they are literally ready to fall off and then hopefully will be able to skip right past size 20W and into size 18W (1X). I've got some good coupons for Macy's and Kohl's and hope to buy a few things in February to tide me over until the spring clothes start coming out in March and April.   When I look in the mirror I don't see much of a change. I know the scale and my clothes are telling me I've lost weight, but I can't see it really. I bumped into a friend I used to work with at Costco yesterday and she didn't comment that I looked like I've lost weight, so I think it's not really that apparent yet. Hopefully in a couple of months it will be really noticeable.   I have another couple of mini-goals that will come after getting to ONEderland. 1) Weigh less than my mom (she has been doing South Beach for a month and has lost nearly as much weight as me -- amazing!) by March 15th; and 2) weigh less than my non-overweight hubby by April 15th. Let's see how I do!
Kris

Kris

3
 

8th Week Surgiversary -- Time is Flying!

Tomorrow will be my 2 month surgiversary. It seems a little unreal that it was only 2 months ago that I was in Mexico having this life-altering procedure! It feels like another lifetime ago. And truthfully it really was another life ... two months ago today was my last day on earth with a full size stomach.   But, as long ago as my surgery now seems, each day I still learn lessons about the capacity of my new sleeve -- it seems it is takng me an extra long time to realize I can't eat half or even a third of what I used to be able to eat at every meal. Case in point: today the hubster and I went out to lunch; he was feeling a little under the weather and when we are feeling unwell our go-to place is to a local Pho (Vietnamese soup) restaurant (Pho Tai). At this restaurant they serve two sizes of Pho -- small (which is actually way bigger than our normal bowls at home) and large (which is a freaking huge tureen-size bowl -- I think it holds about a quart, no lie). Pre-sleeve, both DH and I would each order a small bowl of pho and eat about 2/3-3/4 of it. I keep forgetting how SMALL my new sleeve is. The hub ordered a cha gio (fried spring roll, totally delish) and at my suggestion ordered a large bowl of brisket pho (and we asked for an extra small empty bowl for me so we could share -- why I asked him to order a large bowl I really don't know). I had two small bites of the roll before DH took the rest (he's a greedy bugger, and it KILLS me he has never had a weight problem!) and then the soup came. I decanted into the empty bowl what I thought was a good sleeve size portion of broth, a couple small slices of beef, and a few rice noodles -- somewhere between 1/4 and 1/2 cup altogether. I ate about half of that and was stuffed. DH tried his best to eat the large size bowl but it was far more than he could handle. Next time we are going to share a small bowl. Even with the large size bowl of pho, the whole lunch today was about $12 including tip -- what a bargain! We are saving some serious money now on eating out and groceries now that I have been sleeved.   Tonight for dinner I tried Barilla pasta for the first time since being sleeved. I cooked up a package of Trader Joe's turkey bolognese sauce (love that stuff!) and made about a cup of pasta (WAY too much pasta -- but at least I have leftovers for dinner tomorrow night). I served up a 1/4 cup portion and that was OK. I got really full quickly, but I'm now nearly an hour after dinner and not feeling any major discomfort (I'm still full, but not sick or anything like that). I know some people have a hard time with pasta; I think I am handlng it fine. I worry a bit about the carbs so this won't be a regular part of my diet.   I'm definitely not eating as low carb as many people post sleeve. I do try to eat protein first but almost every meal has some type of carb along with the protein, whether a bite of toasted sandwich thin, a few crackers with tuna, a bite of noodle with meat, etc. I guess I am eating more like a normal person as far as protein-carbs go, but of course just in much smaller portions. I do keep track of my calories and most days I eat around 800 calories -- some days fewer, some days a little more. I do assume I would lose a little more weight each week if I went ultra-low carb, but I figure as long as I am staying within the calorie range my surgeon suggested (which I am), I can have a balance of protein and carbs.   On Friday I had my weekly weigh-in and the scale said I am down another 2 lbs., to 197.4. I gave my mom my old scale (hers went kaput) a few weeks ago, but I knew my old scale tended a couple of lbs. higher than my new scale, so my best guess is I've lost 29 or 30 lbs. since surgery. I'm down about 33 lbs. from my high weight (the day I booked my surgery; December 1, 2010). Before surgery I had hoped to lose 35-40 lbs. within the first two months of surgery, so am not that close to what I thought I would/could lose, but never in my life could I come close to losing so much weight in such a short period of time. I think my body has settled into a routine of losing 2 lbs. a week, and I hope that continues for a long time!   I think I should note some other physical changes that have occurred since surgery. The first major change is I have not had a menstrual cycle in two months. I got my period the day I was released from the hospital after being sleeved (Jan. 10th), and then the next month had some very very light spotting, and then nothing this month. YAY!!! Another reason I love my sleeve! I hope this continues a long time. I loathe my monthly curse so am loving this time w/o it!   Another change -- Since surgery I have developed the beginnings of turkey neck and it is AWFUL. My face is definitely getting smaller but the skin is crepey and horrible on the lower part of my chin and neck. I bought some BIo-Oil last weekend and have been using that in lieu of my regular Olay moisturizer routine, hoping that the oil would smooth my skin more ... but so far it is not to be. I hope my skin catches up soon but I am worried that I will have a wattle the rest of my life. Eeek!!! I am only 43!!!!   And another change -- I am definitely getting gray smudges under my eyes. I never had this pre-sleeve. I now try to cover them with makeup but even I notice the change. People have said several times that I look really tired, even when I haven't felt tired; and I think it's because of the change around my eyes. I hope this is temporary. I have had a very stressful month at work (hopefully the worst is behind me) and just got back from a cross-country business trip (3 hour time change, so I definitely had some jet lag) and had some trouble sleeping on several occasions, so I'm not sure if this is diet-related or stress/work-related.   Today I started cleaning out my closet and drawers of excess clothes I know I'll never wear again (primarily summer clothes -- by summer I know I will definitely be too small to wear size 22 shorts/capris/shirts, yay!). I filled two huge tote bins and took them to the local Goodwill to donate. My closet was stuffed full of clothes -- about half of which I rarely or never wore/wear, so this was a very fun experience. In a few weeks I will take another round of clothes to donate. I should have a nearly empty closet within a month or two! Wow! I know I won't be buying a lot of clothes while I am actively losing weight so I will probably have a nearly empty closet most of this year, until I get down near goal.  
Kris

Kris

3
 

Return of the Dreadful Auntie Flo

Sigh -- I knew it had to happen at some point, and it did. After a nice 3 month hiatus of no periods, Auntie Flo made a return visit this weekend. And she is back with a VENGEANCE. I don't think I've had a cycle this bad in quite a long while. But, OTOH, and I a bit reassured that my body is really recovered from the surgery, and all systems are back on track.   So this week I've lost a bit more than 1 lb. (1.2 lb to be precise). Considering Auntie F's visit, I take that as a good sign.   Today it was a splendid spring day, and I spent hours at my community garden plot, doing a lot of physical labor (hauling many wheelbarrows full of compost, steer manure, and leaf mold, and filling several raised beds; planting potatoes and strawberries, and shoveling compost from one pile to another. I never realize how much work I've done until I get home, get showered, and get dressed, and then the aches and pains really make themselves known. I am really glad it's spring because most of the exercise I get is relating to gardening, and during the winter I don't do much in the way of physical activity. So I hope the scale is kind to me next week when I weigh in.   Next week is Easter and I definitely will not make my Easter challenge goal of 180 lbs. I am hoping to get below 186. 185 would be awesome. I am pretty much in the slow loser camp, but as long as the lbs. keep coming off I am OK with that.   Let's see, what else? The size 18 jeans and size 1X tops I've been wearing the past couple of months are slowly but surely getting looser. I think once I get into the 170s I should be comfortably wearing size 16. That should happen sometime in May ... mid to late May. I really can't wait to see a a number in the 170s on the scale!   I have a dr. appointment for May 6th and will be getting a checkup and a blood test as part of my follow up from surgery. I never told my primary care physician that I was having surgery (I had asked her about weight loss surgery a couple of years ago and she basically blew me off, so I figured she wouldn't care or might even be actively against me having surgery). I am hoping when she sees the difference in my weight, blood pressure, etc., she will be fine with it, and really if she isn't fine with it I'm going to find another physician (I belong to an *** so it's actually kind of rare to keep a long term relationship with the same doctor).   Oh, and I had to have a mammogram on Friday. Very, very embarrassing. My girls are like giant sloshy half filled water balloons. The only good thing was the discomfort in having the actual mammogram was far less than last year. I did tell the dr. I had weight loss surgery and had lost over 40 lbs. since my previous mammogram, and she seemed very pleased about that and noted it in the file, since I am sure there will be changes in how my breasts look from last year. I know it's a long deflation process with my ta-tas, and I am 99.9% sure I will need to be getting a breast reduction/lift once I am done losing weight, because I don't want to look like a cow with huge udders when this is all over!   Let's see, what else. I have *horrible* turkey neck, it's getting worse instead of better. I know it's because I am losing weight, but still, it's awful. I slather expensive lotions on my neck but so far no joy. I also am getting nasty loose skin in my upper arms, near my armpits. I am beginning to look like a human shar-pei, as a matter of fact.   But -- my energy level is good, and I am still so happy with my sleeve and the fairly effortless weight loss I am experiencing. I am going to have a great year this year!
Kris

Kris

0
 

Week 15 Post Op -- Easter Challenge, July 4th Challenge, & Hair Loss

I had my 15th week surgiversary on Friday; my four month surgiversary is coming soon (May 7th ... I think there's an extra week since January and March were long months). Today I weighed in at 184.6. I had set an Easter Challenge goal to get to 180 by today, but missed that by, well, a lot ... I got about 80% to goal, though, so that is still OK with me. My July 4th challenge is to get below 170 ... to 169 to be exact. That's a total loss of 15.6 lbs. in 10 weeks. That is much more in line with what I have been losing. I definitely lose more weight when I am physically active so I know if I could just bump up the exercise I would easily make that goal with room to spare. Now that it is springtime, and the weather isn't quite as dreadful as it has been the first few months of the year, I am going to try to at least get out and walk 30 minutes a day, plus have some heavy duty gardening chores on the weekends (and maybe I can sneak in some gardening after work a few nights). On July 5th I will be going to Maui w/DH to celebrate our 15th anniversary so I am totally excited to get to this goal. I really NEED to get to this goal because right now my bod is in bad, bad shape. I still have horrible thunder thighs, big fat arms, and just overall am still quite obese (though, I am happy to note, I finally have a BMI of under 35 ... woo hoo! ... only 5 more BMI points to lose and I will no longer be considered obese!). Fifteen pounds isn't going to make that dramatic of a difference, I fully realize, but every little bit helps. I'm definitely going to have to buy swim apparel with good coverage! So, the only other thing I think worth mentioning for this week is I am definitely starting to see some hair loss ... not gobs of hair, but definitely more shedding than I used to have. I know it will get worse before it gets better. I've been letting my hair grow out since surgery, and I don't know if that's good or bad for disguising hair loss. I am getting a little peeved at the extra attention I have to use to take care of longer hair, but I figure I will just keep going and in a few months my hair should be long enough to pull into a pony tail, and that should help. I read that some of the saggy neck skin problem may be due to slight dehydration, and lack of moisture in the skin. I had stopped using Bio-Oil for a while but am back onto that because it definitely moisturizes more than the Olay Regenerist products I use on my face. Part of why I haven't chopped my hair short is because the longer hair does distract a little from my turkey neck. I wore my size 16 jeans around town yesterday afternoon .... they are comfortable in the butt and legs, but around the waist still a little too snug for comfort. As soon as I got home I took off those jeans and put on my nice and comfy (loose) size 18 jeans ... that was kind of a reminder, too, that I've still got a long way to go on this weight loss journey. Just because I can pack my gut into a pair of size 16s doesn't mean it's going to feel good! I am really amazed, though, when I pick up those size 16s that I can wear them ... they seem SO SMALL compared to what I am used to! It's hard to get my head around that. Well ... that's about all for today. DH and I are going to my mom's house for Easter ... she has made way too much food, so I will have to be extra cautious about what I try to eat. Mostly I'll be eating ham, with a few bites of other stuff. Dessert is angel food cake with sweetened strawberries and whipped cream .... not too high calorie, though i will have to take it easy with the cake! It's exciting to think that this will be my last Easter as an obese person. Next Easter, if all goes well, I should be back into normal sizes (hopefully size 8P or, dare I even say it, size 6P ... I really can't imagine ever being that small, though!)
Kris

Kris

0
 

Five Month Surgiversary -- Down 50+ lbs.

So my five month surgiversary is in two short days. Today I was 173.8, up a couple of oz. from Friday I think, but still, getting pretty close to my July 4th goal of 169 lbs!   I had DH weigh himself yesterday to see how much he weighs. He weighs 170.8 so I am 3 lbs. above his weight. It will be a happy, happy day to make my July 4th goal, as I will also weigh less than my hubby. I am just shy of 42 lbs. above my ultimate goal weight, so more than halfway to goal, and not even six months out. Yay!   Today DH and I went to Seattle Suntan for our first-ever indoor tanning experience. Let's just say it can be pricey to get a tan (and maintain it) but I have pretty fair (AKA *white*) skin and don't want to go to Maui next month (exactly one month from today, woo hoo!) blinding people with the whiteness of my skin. We went on one of the newer premium beds -- it was so weird. I didn't expect it would be so hot in the tanning bed .... and your skin stays warm for quite a while afterwards. I didn't put on any tanning lotion before tanning but ordered some on Amazon after I got home so will have some for next time.   I tried on that Speedo swimsuit I got from Cosco ... fit everywhere but in the bust area (too small in the bust, alas). So today I went to Sams Club and bought a size 18 2 piece (tank top and swim skirt), and hopefully that will have better coverage. I've bought several items of clothing, all size 16, so it was kind of a bummer to have to bump up a size in swimsuits, but c'est la vie. My legs are awful, lots of cellulite still in the thighs (all the way down to the knee) and I have quite a gut still ... let's just say men won't be gazing at my bod with desire at the swimming pool, LOL!   But, on the other hand, my mom says she is JEALOUS of me now that I weight less than she does ... first time in a long time that is the case. But it is good natured jealousy, and not mean spirited. I've also gotten quite a few comments from co-workers about how different I look ... it's funny, when you see yourself in the mirror you don't notice change as much as others do. The only time I really notice how much weight I've lost is when I put on a piece of clothing I had worn before surgery ... I really can't wear most of my old clothes anymore, they are horribly loose. Only the clothes that were really tight can still be worn (and now they are loose).   I've also noticed my weight loss definitely goes in cycles ... I will have a couple of good weeks of weight loss and then a couple of weeks where nothing happens. And I am not doing anything different. It's just odd the way that happens.   Anyhow, five months out from surgery and I am feeling really good and am still so happy with my sleeve. I love how it helps me manage my volume eating problem (can't volume eat anymore!). And I really have a different relationship with food now. I just wish I would have had this surgery years ago! But am glad I'm still fairly young (43) so plenty of life ahead of me. This is the first summer in MANY years where I will be doing things I really love to do ... and not be ashamed (so much) to do them (swimming, wearing shorts, able to keep up with people while walking, etc.)
Kris

Kris

0
 

Fourth Week Surgiversary -- Carbs & Fluids Issues

So I am now in my fourth week post-op, On Monday I am officially through with the mushies stage and can start solids. I actually have been happy with mushies and might continue longer especially if I have a hard time with solid meats. Weight loss -- another disappointing week. 2.5 lbs. down from last week and all of that was in the first few days of the week. For the last four days or so I've been bouncing around from a low of 204.0 to a high of 205.5. Exasperating. I am SO CLOSE to ONEderland and feeling like it's not going to happen. I wanted to be there by Valentine's Day but at the rate I've been going it's not going to happen until the middle of February. Two things I know I am not doing right are 1) not getting enough fluids each day and 2) more carbs than I should be eating. I'm mad at myself about both. Oh, add 3) not exercising regularly. As far as fluids goes, most days I am getting around 40 - 44 oz fluids and I know that is not enough! I just have to really buckle down on this and force myself to drink more -- drink almost constantly. I am pretty sure at least part of the reason why I haven't lost more is because I'm not taking in enough fluids. Re 2) carbs -- I have been using club crackers and baked lentil crackers as a mushy delivery system from bowl/plate to mouth -- usually less than a full serving but adds another 80 - 100 calories to each meal when I eat them (but to be fair ... the meat side is usually about 150 calories or less anyway, so most days I am getting 600 calories or less total, even with the crackers. Yes, I am rationalizing!) I also caved and bought some carby snacks from Costco (baked Lays snack bag collection and Riceworks Spicy Chili brown rice crackers). I have had one bag of baked Lays and then yesterday caved and opened the bag of the Riceworks crackers and had a good full serving of those. I KNOW this is bad for my weight loss .... I think it might be a little PMSing. And honestly, I have missed carbs and I this is a bad, slippery slope I'm on! Re 3) exercise, I only exercised once this week (last Sun) but as soon as I finish this blog post I am going with DH to the local fitness center (where we have a membership that we have paid every month for a long time but haven't used in nearly as long) and hop on the treadmill. I'm going to start out taking it easy and hopefully build up back to where I was last spring (when we stopped going). DH and I will have to start going regularly after work a couple of nights a week. If I can exercise 3 days a week for a consistent period of time I'll be happy and then try to gradually bump it up. On the bright side, I did officially get to 20 lbs. weight loss since surgery, and am pretty sure I will be there (or hopefully a little better) on my one month surgiversary. I have about 80 lbs. to lose to get to goal weight ... from where I am today it seems SO far away. I was really hoping to lose 25 lbs. in my first month but it looks like that just is not to be. I am envious of fast losers. And a little mad at myself that I am not doing everything right to help myself get there. Oh -- also it's been quite the challenge to eat meals with DH. Last night we went to our neighborhood Mexican restaurant and I ordered my own dinner (knowing I would only make a small dent in it) -- mole enchiladas filled with ground beef and refried beans on the side. Man it was good, and everything mushed up very nicely, but it was ridiculous looking at the platter when I was done with my 4-5 bites (it was like this tiny divot of food missing out of an otherwise full plate). DH said, "They're going to think you don't like it," but I asked for a to-go box and filled it up and will be eating the same meal for the next 3 days I think. Luckily for me, I don't mind eating leftovers repeatedly! When we are at home, it's just SO WEIRD to eat such a tiny amount and at a snail's pace while DH eats at a normal/fast pace ... I end up abandoning half my dinner at the time he's done, and then waiting an hour or so, and then finishing it off on my own. I am still glad I got this surgery -- 20 lbs. lost in a month is by far the most I've ever lost in such a short time. And I do hope I can maintain a 2.5 lb. weight loss each month from here on out -- that will work out to about 10 lbs. lost per month and at that rate I will be at or near goal by late summer. Gotta go to the gym!
Kris

Kris

0
 

Week 7 Surgiversary -- Made it to ONEderland!

First of all I want to say howdy to everyone who has read and commented on my previous blog entries. I am still figuring out my way around this site and didn't realize people had commented before until I was poking around my profile and saw comments. Thanks for the comments! I heart my fellow sleevers and sleevers-to-be!   So ... today I posted on the Success Stories topic that I have finally achieved my first big VSG goal -- to be below 200 lbs. I weighed in this morning at 199.4 lbs. on my new scale, despite having been on the road all week and eating out virtually every meal. I am THRILLED to have made this goal ... it took a bit longer than I had hoped but I am a small woman (5'1") and my body doesn't need as many calories as taller folks. I have been pretty steadily losing two lbs. a week for the past few weeks and as long as I keep up at that rate I am totally fine and happy. I still have just shy of 75 lbs. to lose for my final goal, so I will be on this journey for quite a while. My birthday is in mid November and I will be absolutely thrilled if I am within the vicinity of goal by then.   Another major excitement -- clothes shopping. My size 22 WP clothes are really loose so I went shopping and was so excited to be out of sizes that start with the number 2! Today I just bought a couple of pairs of size 18 Lee relaxed fit jeans. They are a bit snug, so I figure I will be able to wear them at least a good 3 months before they get as loose as my size 22s are right now, and then moving down to the next size (hope to hold out buying more jeans until I can fit in a size 14 P).   And this is embarrassing to admit, but today was the first day in a LONG time that I put on makeup -- foundation, blush, eyeliner, lipstick. I was happy with the scale and wanted to look as good as possible to celebrate. Honestly, I never bothered with makeup because I thought there was no point ... a made up face couldn't distract from such a big round body. But now that I am losing weight and getting close to the realm of normal sizes, I am taking more care with my appearance. I went to the store and splurged and bought a couple of new lipsticks today since I haven't worn lipstick in quite a while, and some translucent pink nail polish.   I will say that first month post surgery was not fun at all, but now that I am nearly 2 months out, and feeling really good and losing weight more successfully than I have in decades, I am SO, SO GLAD I got the sleeve. I have confidence that I will continue losing weight ... not at a really fast pace, but slow and steady is terrific for me (hopefully my skin will shrink more easily with a more gradual weight loss). I am really getting the hang of being OK with really small portions of food, and I have never overeaten to the point of throwing up, which makes me happy, I also tolerate most foods really well. I definitely limit my carb intake and avoid bread, which fills my sleeve up too fast, and avoid sweets and empty calories.   Speaking of sweets, my taste buds seem to have changed (I know this happens with a lot of people who get sleeved). I am a lot more sensitive to sweetness than I was pre-sleeve -- things that were pleasantly sweet pre-surgery are now too sweet to me and I don't like it. I have had almost nothing sweet at all to eat since being sleeved, and although I am briefly tempted by sweets when they are right in front of me, I usually have no trouble passing them by (or if eating some dessert, just limiting it to one small bite (which satisfies any sweet cravings I have).   I love my sleeve!!!!
Kris

Kris

1
 

Last Day of Recuperation at Home

I took a week and a half off from work to have surgery and recuperate. Tomorrow is my first day back to work. Part of me is excited (it gets a little boring at times to be at home) and part is dreading it (my energy level today is OK, but this morning by the time I was done showering, dressing, and making the bed I was ready to rest a while! Tomorrow, no such luck. I might try to get up earlier just in case I need to rest a while before going to work, so I won't be late getting in. I promise myself if I really can't do a full day of work I will take part of the day off until I am ready for a full day. But I will enjoy seeing people at work again, and getting back into the groove.   I had my first walk yesterday ... just up to the local park and back, probably just shy of a mile. It was a little too much ... I really noticed my abdominal muscles and my incisions once I got home. But it did feel good to move a bit. Today I will take another walk, but just half as long as yesterday.   I have to say that is one characteristic I really notice in myself. I tend to try to overdo things when I ought to be content to under-do (or more accurately, do the appropriate amount). Could've taken 2 weeks off, but no, I wanted to be macho and get back to work earlier .... I could've walked 10 minutes, but no, I had to go 20 minutes right out the gate. Dumb. It is really something I need to work on. Better to under-commit and deliver easily than overcommit and feel like crap getting it done .... I always find a way to get it done, but usually it costs me ... sigh. I wonder if this is because I have low self esteem and have to overcommit to people to "prove" to them that I am worthy. Enough truth in that observation to sting, for sure. It's something to think about. I know my weight issues are not stand-alone, they are part of a complex web of emotions and self-talk and self-perception. While I am on my weight loss journey I also want/need to be on an honest self-exploration journey too. I don't want to end up at my weight loss goal only to find myself overweight again a few years later, and that will happen if I don't deal with my emotional/mental issues as well as dealing with what I put in my mouth and how I move my body.   Well, on more cheerful news, the scale told me this morning I am down to 211. I am so happy about that! I had surgery 11 days ago and have lost 13.5 lbs. -- a little more than 1 lb. lost a day. I don't think this is sustainable for long but for now it feels really good. When I look in the mirror I don't see much change, but because I am so big it will take a while to see change.   I can't wait to get to ONEderland and hope/expect that will be sometime in February (if it happens in January, I will be over the moon with joy -- but with only 2 weeks left in January I would have to keep losing nearly 1 lb. a day in order to hit that, and I don't want my hopes dashed if I have a stall, which is very common around the 2nd or 3rd week after surgery). So my mini-goal is ONEderland by Valentine's Day. I am sure I can meet this goal!
Kris

Kris

0
 

1 Week Surgiversary -- 11.5 lbs. Gone!!!!

Today is my one week surgiversary and I am down 11.5 lbs. since my final weigh-in the day before surgery. Unbelievable! I am so thrilled!   My first mini-goal is to get to ONEderland by Valentine's Day and I think that is very achievable.   My energy level is still pretty low, on account of me getting a cold (most likely picked it up while traveling home from Mexico). But other than that I think I am healing up pretty normally.
Kris

Kris

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Fifth Week Surgiversary -- The Scales of (In)Justice

So I got a new scale this week. My old scale would change weight depending on whether I started with my left foot or right foot.. I got a brand new & supposedly highly accurate scale and it was delivered from Amazon on Tuesday. Well, shock of all shocks, it showed I weight 2.8 lbs. more than the old scale. I was SOOOO mad! The next day the weight was confirmed, and then yesterday ... OMG ... it said I had gained two lbs. I was about ready to send the dang scale back to where it came from. And then I had this dilemma about whether to change my starting weight on my weight loss ticker to be 2 lbs. heavier ... and did that for a day or two ... but then things got better today and so I changed my ticker back to what it had been before the new scale. I got on the new scale this morning and it said 203.4 lbs. Yay! My old scale said 203.0 (which it has been saying pretty much all week). It's just so weird how my old scale seems far more consistent than the new scale! So, for the week I am calling a loss of 2 lbs. (since my weight last week was from the old scale, and I have NO idea what the new scale would have said last week). I am SOOO close to ONEderland ... 3.5 lbs. and I will be there. That will probably be two weeks away, I'm guessing. So barring some miraculous big weight drop this weekend, I will have just barely missed my goal to be at ONEderland by Valentine's Day. But still, to be down 21 lbs. from a few weeks ago is pretty good. I think I'm right about average weight loss for my BMI. I also have decided to stop the daily weigh-ins. They only make me crazy. Friday is my designated weekly weigh in day (since I was sleeved on a Friday). I will peek on Val-Day to see how close/far I am from my first goal but try not to weigh again until Friday. I had pizza for the first time since being sleeved last night .... oh wow it was good. Pepperoni and bacon. I had about 2/3 a slice, something like that. No crust. I was stuffed. It is still very hard, though, to have food in front of me that I want so badly to eat, but can only eat a small amount of, and can only eat slowly. But on the other hand it is very gratifying to be totally full on such a small amount of food. There was one slice of pizza left over from dinner and I had that for lunch today and it was also good. Actually I had it for lunch and an afternoon snack since I could only eat half at lunch. I tried a bite of crust but don't think my sleeve is ready for that yet as I was rather uncomfortable afterwards. Tonight is date night ... going out to our fave local Thai restaurant. I'll have chicken satay and maybe order some coriander chicken to eat this weekend. I know I'll only probably be able to eat one skewer of chicken satay but I am SO looking forward to that! Breakfast was an egg (well about 2/3 an egg) on a sandwich thin (about half of that) and that was very filling and kept me full until lunchtime. I like that breakfast a lot. Let's see ... what else ... I went to the gym after work on Wed and walked 45 minutes on the treadmill. It's hard to exercise in the evening because I am still pretty tired when I get home from work. Will go to the gym tomorrow morning and get the weekend off to a good start.
Kris

Kris

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