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My Weight Loss Journey After VSG

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Nine Month Surgiversary & A Couple of Big Breakthroughs

Today is my nine month surgiversary. I weigh 154.2 lbs. I am down just over 73 lbs. from my surgery date -- an average of a little over 8 lbs. a month weight loss since surgery. My weight loss has really slowed down but the pounds are still coming off -- in fact, this week I had one of my best weeks of weight loss since having surgery. I haven't blogged for a couple of weeks because I have been upset with myself over my slow weight loss the past 3 months. Last month I only lost 3 lbs. TOTAL. Very disappointing because I am still over 20 lbs. to my goal weight. I had stepped up my exercising (walking-running 4-5 days a week) but my eating was not good. I was a grazer before surgery and gradually I have become a grazer again -- NOT GOOD. I had a couple of big breakthroughs this week. First of all, I realized that my innocent little afternoon snacks had turned into all-afternoon-long grazing, and I knew it wasn't really hunger-based -- I mostly snacked at work, and I have a fairly stressful job, so it was pretty obvious my snacking at work was emotional eating. At the encouragement of a friend, a few months ago I had bought Geneen Roth's book, Women, Food & God. However, I had never read it (for whatever reason, I was not open to whatever message was in the book). So, last weekend, I decided to read it and see if there was any help in there for me. Let me just say, if you have issues with emotional eating that you are still struggling with (no matter where you are in your weight loss journey), this book may be a real help to you. I had several insights into why I was doing what I was doing with food. In a nutshell, to me food has been (for most of my life) the equivalent of a toddler's "blankie" -- it has been my security blanket, the thing that brings me comfort in the midst of chaos, stress, boredom, happiness, sadness, anger -- pretty much ANY emotion. I am by nature an introvert and a sensitive, "feeling" person (if you are familiar with Myers-Briggs, I am an INFP). This combo is, I think, probably one of the worst possible combos when it comes to emotional eating, because 1) as an introvert I don't often say what's on my mind -- I keep it to myself, but therefore don't release emotions through words like extraverts do; 2) I am intuitive, which means I can pick up on other people's energy and emotions; and 3) I am a very feeling person, which means when someone I care about is having a tough time, I really do feel their angst, I absorb that energy. So .... with that combo, I have all these powerful emotions swirling around inside me all the time, and never found a good way to release them, so turned to my security blankie -- food -- to help me deal with them. I learned a couple of very powerful (and some would say obvious -- but to me they weren't obvious) techniques for dealing with my emotional eating. First of all, at work whenever I wanted to eat a snack I would stop and ask myself if I was really hungry. Mostly I wasn't hungry. My snacking dropped dramatically. I still do have one afternoon snack, but that's different from grazing. The second technique I tried that worked well is, when I was really having a mental battle (asking myself, "Kris, are you really hungry," and getting the answer back, "F-YOU, I don't care if I am hungry or not, I just want the FOOD! Hand over the pretzel crisps RIGHT NOW!!!") I got myself up away from my desk and walked somewhere to talk to someone (no shortage of people to talk to at my office) and that works too. It would break the pattern. That is what I really need to do -- break my grazing pattern. The other thing I did this week was to try some new exercise routines. Now that the weather is turning to the rainy season (which here in Seattle lasts oh about 9 months), and the days are getting dramatically shorter (we are far north), it's no longer fun to go outside to exercise. I have a couple of Leslie Sansone Walk at Home DVDs (from pre-surgery) and started doing them again. I like her a lot. I also started going to a zumba class at the fitness center at work (class is held one day a week). The zumba class is a lot of fun, but frankly, I am very uncoordinated so I spend most of the class getting the steps wrong and feeling like a fool (fortunately, it is a small class and I am friends with several gals, and we just laugh at ourselves and don't take it too seriously). I also had heard that kettlebells are an awesome tool to help quickly tone and build muscle, so got on amazon.com and ordered "Kettlenetics" which is an exercise DVD that comes w/a 4 lb. kettlebell. I received the package 2 days ago and did the routines. WOW, that workout made me feel every muscle in my body! I just finished the cardio video and was drenched in sweat. I love that workout because it really made me push beyond what I thought I could do. Frankly, while I was pushing myself on my walk-run exercising, I wasn't exercising nearly as many muscles and I really do need to be toning now (got some bat wings, have a little pouch, have jiggly thighs, etc.). Between the less snacking and new exercising, this week I lost 3.6 lbs -- more than I lost the ENTIRE MONTH of September! SWEET!!!! Even sweeter because Auntie Flo made a surprise visit yesterday (hadn't seen or heard from her in about 3 months, so it caught me off guard), and usually when I get visits from Flo it means slow weight loss. I have set a Halloween goal to be 149 lbs. Until this week I was really despairing that I would even get to 155 before Halloween, so this week has been fantastic for me ... I only have 5 lbs. to lose to hit that goal, and hopefully this new kettlenetics workout will help me continue to have good weight loss, muscle toning, and hitting my progress goals.
Kris

Kris

2
 

MEDIUM!!!!!

My weight today is 160.8 and my BMI is 30.4. So, I am really close to getting below the BMI of 30. My Labor Day goal of 157 lbs. is not going to happen (obviously -- no way in the world can I lose 3.8 lbs in 8 days) but I have a fair shot of getting into the 150s and hitting that major goal of below 30 BMI. But now -- here is my happy story for the month. I haven't been clothes shopping since the beginning of July and went shopping yesterday at Kohls. I tried on a mix of sizes (mostly 14/Large and some 12/Medium just for kicks, to see how far I am from a size 12). Wow, it was exciting! The size Ls and 14s are now almost all too large. I bought a couple of lightweight jackets (one twill, one denim) for fall and they fit fine and they were size MEDIUM! So excited I must say it again -- MEDIUM, people!!!! I was absolutely giddy in the dressing room when I tried on those jackets and saw that they fit. I am still maybe 7 or 8 lbs. from being able to comfortably fit in a size 12 across the board -- so probably won't comfortably be in a size 12 until sometime in October. I still have big arms and a fatty little apron in my lower belly, so while size 14 is loose, size 12 is either very form fitting or a little tight in the arms and sometimes (depending on the cut of the pants/skirt) in the belly. I wasn't wearing shapewear undies when trying on clothes and am pretty sure that would make a difference, at least not make my lower abdomen look so bulky. It is kind of a problem, though -- I was reluctant to buy anything in size 14 because in a few weeks it will be too big, but a size 12 is a little tight right now. But heck, what a fantastic problem to have! In reality, I don't think I will ever be less than a size Medium. I am hoping that I will eventually be on the small end of Medium (so that all my size Ms are comfortably loose). The way my weight loss has been going lately, I am thinking that by the end of the year, I will probably end up a size 10 and probably end up somewhere in the 140s (maybe I will hit the 130s but that would be highly unlikely). Since the beginning of July I have only lost 10 lbs., so I am losing about 5 lbs. a month on average now -- pretty gradual weight loss. I can only assume my weight loss the rest of my journey will never be higher than what it has been the past 2 months, and is in fact going to be slower as I get closer to my goal weight, so I am 99.9% certain I will not hit my ultimate goal weight this year. I may be able to hit it next year ... not sure where my body will eventually say, "That's it, girlie, you're done losing weight!" But at my very lowest weight/size ever as an adult (when I was in my mid 20s, ate a strict 1,400 calorie a day diet, and ran 15 miles a week plus did lots of toning exercises) I was in the low-mid 130s and wore a size 8/10 in everything. My ultimate goal is to get to 132 and be back in my size 8/10s but part of me is not sure that will ever happen. To be perfectly honest, I am definitely eating and behaving more like someone who is in maintenance than someone who is trying to lose weight, and my slower weight loss is definitely a reflection of that. Every day I make choices about how fast I want to lose weight by choosing what I put in my mouth and what I do with my body. I really need to be thinking a lot about that.
Kris

Kris

3
 

7 Month Surgiversary

Today is my 7th month surgiversary and I weigh 162.6 lbs. Officially I am almost down 70 lbs. from my high preop weight (231 lbs.) and 62 lbs. from my surgery date (224.5 lbs.), but that is only because I changed my scale after surgery, and my new scale is more accurate (and shows a heavier weight) than my old scale (by 2-3 lbs.). In reality I have already lost over 70 lbs. from my preop weight and nearly 70 from my surgery date. It's really hard to believe -- 70 lbs. is A LOT of excess weight!!!   I am comfortably wearing a size 14 now, and getting close to fitting in size 12s (maybe next month).   When I see myself in my birthday suit, it's still a pretty ugly sight ... I have a lot of belly fat still, my girls are like halfway deflated water balloons, I have a lot of cellulite on my butt and thighs, and I have loose skin in my upper arms (AKA batwings). But, in clothes, I look pretty normal, I think.   Also, it's exciting, my BMI is 30.7 now -- if I lose 3 lbs. I will officially no longer be obese! It would have been great to hit that milestone on my surgiversary date, but I am close, so it's all good.   I have been really good about exercising -- I actually enjoy exercising (walking/jogging) and it's fun to challenge myself to see if I can do a little more/faster each time I exercise. I really regret not exercising sooner ... if you, my dear sleeve friend, are reading this blog and have either not gotten sleeved or are newly sleeved, please take my advice and exercise as soon as you are able and do it at least 3-4 days a week if at all possible ... you will be more successful in losing weight and you will feel SO much better in your weight loss journey!   As far as food intake, not really much change this week from previous weeks ... I am definitely not strict about what I eat, and I know I am not losing as much weight as I could ... but I am still taking in fewer calories than I burn, and even on my worst food days I probably am still only taking in as many calories as a non-sleeved dieter would eat. I do heart my sleeve!
Kris

Kris

3
 

Six Month Surgiversary

I just got home from Maui last night and was really interested to see what the scale would tell me.  During vacation I decided to not put any limits on what I ate or drank, so had many treats over the course of six days ... I really enjoyed my food at Maui, but restriction kept me in good control of caloric intake.  Plus, we were pretty active ... lots of swimming, snorkeling, and walking around in the warm Hawaaiian sun.  So I figured the activity would counteract the splurges at the table.   So ... my final weigh in was on July 5th (the morning we left for Maui) and I was 169.6 (just barely missed my July 4th goal of 169.0).  Today I got on the scale, and O Happy Day, it said I weigh 167.2 -- a loss of 2.4 lbs.!  Yay!  That was a happy moment for me!     I had a couple of NSVs this week too.  The biggest one was how easily I now fit in a plane seat.  I used to hate and dread flying, because I would overflow the seat and could barely close the seat belt, but now I have no problems at all with the plane seat or seat belt.  That felt great!  The second NSV came this morning -- my hubby went out to get the mail and saw one of our neighbors, who told him, "Your wife is the incredible shrinking woman!"  LOL!  I am now wearing a size 14 (or women's Large) and that is so cool!     Life is really great with my sleeve!  
Kris

Kris

4
 

Major NSV -- I Now Weigh Less Than My Hubby!

Lots to talk about this week. My 6 month surgiversary is in 4 days. As of today, I weigh 170.4 lbs.; my 4th of July goal was to get to 169 lbs. so it is coming right down to the wire. I am hoping to be under 170 lbs. tomorrow ... maybe not 169.0 but somewhere between that and 170.0.   When I had my surgery, I set several VSG progress goals on my weight loss journey. There were three progress goals in particular that were really meaningful to me -- first, to get into ONEderland; second, to weigh less than my husband; and third, to have a BMI of less than 30 (therefore no longer being considered officially obese). I hit my first goal the month after getting sleeved, and just hit my second goal today. When I saw my weight being right near 170 lbs. this morning, I knew I was very close to my husband's weight. I called DH into the bathroom, asked him to strip down to his skivvies (since I weighed in wearing only my skivvies), and get on the scale. Ta da -- he weighs 172.8, so I weigh 2.4 lbs. less than him! Woo hoo!   June was a very tough month for me on the weight loss front. I was in a virtual stall for 3 weeks, and started eating really badly out of frustration. I hadn't been exercising, and started doing that last weekend. I really got into exercising this past week, and it definitely helped ... I dropped nearly 2 lbs. this week, even with a visit from Auntie Flo (which, when I think about it, probably also explains a bit why I went a little crazy with junk eating last week ... raging hormones + frustration = BAD NEWS).   I have exercised a lot this week ... did a fairly tough 2.5 mile trail walk 5 times (including this morning). I've been getting up a bit earlier and walking before going to work, and it also helps me come to work with more energy and focus. I haven't been exercising really (except for gardening on the weekends) so I have been pleasantly surprised how much I like it. It is SO much easier and pleasant to exercise when I don't have as much excess weight to carry around. Each day I try to do a little bit more ... challenging myself every time. I am feeling good about exercising and wish I had started doing it much sooner (no doubt I would be much closer to my ultimate goal if I had started exercising 5 days a week a few months ago!).   DH and I are having or 15th wedding anniversary this week and are celebrating it by taking a trip to Maui. I plan to spend a lot of time in the water (we have two snorkeling trips already booked) and am hoping that a week of downtime, and lots of fun exercise, means a nice surprise for me on the scale when I return from my trip.  
Kris

Kris

2
 

Mad @ Myself & Doing Something About It

Excuse my bad language, but I had a total craptastic week on the weight loss front. I am only down .2 lbs. since last Sunday (172.0 today) -- awful. But even worse, this time I can't blame my bad week on my body holding on to weight -- this week it's my own fault I haven't lost weight. My eating this week has been the worst ever since getting sleeved. I've partaken of donuts, cupcakes, crackers, and rice chips -- all that junk food, ugh. I have been frustrated with not losing weight so I have fallen into my very bad pattern of dealing with frustration by eating junk.   However, I will say, I am owning my bad behavior, and this morning I did something about it. I got up out of bed, got on my walking shoes, and did a killer one hour walk on a trail near my house (which has a monster hill that goes a mile and several hundred feet in elevation). Yah, baby! THAT'S the way to deal with frustration -- not putting crap food into my mouth, but doing something healthy and (dare I say) fun.   I was SO proud of myself doing this walk today. I had walked on that trail a few times before surgery (when I was 220 lbs.+) and it darn near killed me. On the hill part, I would have to take it in sections, like walk 100 yards, suck wind really hard until I felt like my heart wasn't going to explode out of my chest, and then walk another 100 yards, until I got up that hill. Today was the first time I have walked that trail since surgery, and man what a difference losing 60 lbs. makes. The hill starts out gradually, then gets really steep for a while. Once I got to the steep part, I could feel my heart get going faster, and I was thinking, "Oh boy, I am going to have to stop soon," but I decided to just keep going until I couldn't take it anymore ... and lo and behold, I never had to stop ... it did get tough at some points, but I just kept walking. To me this is a MAJOR NSV because I can do something now with relative ease that I would have keeled over dead trying to do pre-surgery. Another thing that was really cool was that my husband did the same walk as me, but he used the reverse course, so we passed each other halfway. He made it home before me (he is not fat) but when I walked in the front door his first words to me were, "You're home already! I am really impressed! I just got home a few minutes ago myself!" Yay!!!! And you know, right now, as I am writing this, I am eating a lovely breakfast of cold watermelon and feeling darn good. My energy level is really good. My legs are a little sore from walking but nothing major -- it's a good kind of sore that tells me I challenged myself and did good.   So anyway, some key lessons learned this week are that I still obviously emotional eating issues; but I can do something about it and deal with my emotions in a healthier way.   My 4th of July goal was to get to 169 and I am 3 lbs. away from that goal. I am going to do that hill walk every day this week, by gum, and see if I can get to that goal. I was doing so great earlier in the month and thought I had that goal in the bag ... but now I am really going to have to fight for it. And I AM going to fight for it!
Kris

Kris

2
 

Nearly Stalled

You know that saying, be careful what you ask for because you just might get it? Well, lo and behold, that has happened to me as far as my weight loss is concerned. Back before surgery I had submitted a post here on VSG asking had anyone deliberately eaten more calories in order to have a slower weight loss, so the skin could catch up as the weight loss happened. I got numerous responses, nearly all of which were to the effect of, why the heck would you want to have surgery in order to deliberately slow down your weight loss? And also people pointed out your skin will do what it wants to do, whether you lose fast or slow. I was suitably chastened because of course my VSG friends were correct about that. HOWEVER, I needn't have worried about having super fast weight loss. I am losing weight nice and slow and steady, not by design but just cause my bod wants to. This week I am down only .6 lbs. for the week. Nearly stalled. This happens nearly every month but for some reason only losing less than 1 lb. feels like a total failure. I have not been eating any better or worse than usual, but my body is holding on to the weight right now. However, I can't complain that much because I am really bad about not exercising. Every week I say this will be the week it changes, and then I don't do anything different. I do work in the garden on the weekends, but very little in the way of exercise from Mon-Fri. I am sure that is hurting my weight loss. I tried on the size 18 bathing suit this weekend ... ruh roh Scooby Doo. My girls are totally overflowing the size 18 top too. Even worse, the laws of gravity are telling the girls to just hang where they want, which is not in the cups of the swim top, so as a result they keep slipping out of the swim top and below the bra area and it looks like I am deformed. So, my swimsuit purchases so far have been a total fail. My girls are so saggy and just shall I say gross .... I hate them, hate them, HATE THEM. The swim skirt on the size 18 swimsuit is a little loose; it should really be a size 16. So I have a minor disaster on my hands ... a top that is too small and a bottom that is a little loose. So much for the great deal on a bathing suit ... I am going to order some swim separates from Lands End today (plus size top, regular size bottoms). And I know for sure next year I am either going to appeal for breast reduction surgery at my *** or am going back to Mexico to get a breast reduction/lift. I want a total do-over on my girls. Speaking of saggy, I could say that about my whole dadgum body. Upper arms are saggy; my thighs are a freaking cottage cheese filled saggy DISASTER, and of course the aforementioned low rider girls. Now here I am bitching about my saggy skin, but of course in reality I am in a weird way very thankful to have this saggy skin, because it means I have lost a whole lot of excess weight. When I am wearing clothes that cover my upper arms and thighs, I feel like I look fine -- a little heavy, but normal heavy, not remarkably heavy as I was before surgery. Blah, blah, blah. I am hoping next week when I post I will have a lovely number to report, something between 170 and 171. Now off to the garden with my saggy skin self and burn some calories.
Kris

Kris

2
 

10 Weeks Out -- Slow Weight Loss

I'm now 10 weeks out after surgery and as of my last weigh-in am 195.8 I've lost about 31 lbs. since surgery; a bit over 3 lbs. a week on average, although the average is very misleading since I lost so much weight the first couple weeks after surgery.   I have really been slacking lately and am in a funky place emotionally and in my head. I'm not eating as well as I could and not exercising at all. My weight loss has really slowed down the past couple of weeks; I'm not in a stall but this week I didn't even lose 1 lb. I have this weird weight loss entitlement feeling going on ... like I had surgery, so the pounds just should be falling off no matter what I put in my mouth or what I do with my body. I know this is a horrible attitude to have and I've got to work to change it.   I think it started a few weeks ago. A dear friend of mine has an aunt who had VSG a bit over a year ago, and she's lost over 90 lbs in a year, and according to my friend she never exercises and she doesn't particularly watch what she eats. When I heard that, I think I used that as an excuse to slack off ... like I will lose weight no matter what I do or don't do. I know, however, that this is the prime weight loss time -- right now -- and if I don't get at least to midway to goal soon I am going to have a really really tough time getting to goal.   The flip side to this devil may care attitude is the unspoken and very scary fear that maybe I will fail at this ... I've failed at every other attempt at weight loss I've tried for the past 15 years ... I don't know if I have confidence to succeed. Maybe subconsciously I think I deserve to be fat the rest of my life and am sabotaging myself. I clearly still have food and self esteem issues to work through!   OK, to switch to a more positive note, I had to go shopping today. My bras are all way too big now and aren't giving me decent support. I didn't even know what size the girls are now, so I went to Lane Bryant and got a fitting, and the lady told me I was a 40G. My last fitting before surgery I was a 44H (but only had one bra in that size; most of my bras were a 44DDD or a 46DDD, depending on whether my weight was in the 220s or in the 230s. I'm a little suspicious and disbelieving at the fitting, and unfortunately the store didn't have any bras in my size, so I couldn't try on the new size to see if it was right. I am going to order a couple of bras online and hope they fit OK.   In the mall near the Lane Bryant store is another plus size store, CJ Banks. I popped in there to see what they had and found several cute tops. I tried on a size 1X and 2X, and definitely the 2X tops were too big ... yay! So, I bought a couple of 1X tops. I am hopeful once I get a new bra I will look a little better too ... I am looking pretty saggy and pathetic in the chest area using the current bras. I still wear my old size 22 clothes a lot (I donated most of the summer clothes to Goodwill already) and they are definitely too big ... I veer between being highly annoyed at how loose everything is to realizing how cool it is that everything is so loose.   I hope my next post is going to say I am below 195 ... that will be cool. I am looking forward to being in the 180s -- I hope to get there sometime in April. Because once I am in the 180s, it's not too far to be back in the 170s, a place I am really really wanting to get to again.   Back in my late 20's, when I started gaining a lot of weight, I remember being in the 170s and being fairly worried about my weight, but not seeing myself as really huge. I could still squeeze into "normal size" clothes (albeit a tight size 14P). And I remember my health was really good -- normal blood pressure, normal blood tests, everything normal. Even though I was a good 40 lbs. over my lowest maintained weight, I still saw myself as plump rather than fat (actually, I was definitely obese at that weight, but didn't "feel" obese). And so a big part of me really, really wants to be in the 170s again, and sees that as a happy place ... like if only I can get there and stay there, and not gain weight, I will be totally fine. I am still not fully sold on the concept that I will ever actually get to my goal weight of 125. I have always had reservations about that number. According to the BMI charts, 125 lbs. puts me at the top of the normal range for my height. However, I haven't been that low since jr. high school! In my 20s, when I was very active and looked/felt my best, I was always in the low-mid 130s ... I wore a size 8P and felt good about that. I am deeply skeptical that I will ever get to the 130s, not to mention the 120s!   Well, I really am rambling on this post ... hope next week brings some good weight loss news!
Kris

Kris

1
 

Week 12 Surgiversary -- Cracked the 180s!

OK, so I'm just about 3 months out, and LOVING my sleeve! I'm down into the 180s now (189.8 to be exact) and it's hard to believe ... I had a big slow patch in March but the past two weeks I've had good weight loss. I am going to Orlando on a business trip this week and am so excited to be wearing size 16/18 WP vs. the 22/24 size I was wearing pre-surgery. I know I still have quite a long ways to go to hit goal but I am now loving my weight loss journey. I am finally pretty much used to my new portion sizes and am getting good at pushing the plate away when I've had enough. I am good at chewing my food, very good about not eating and drinking at the same time, and good about getting protein in first before anything else. I am starting to work with light weights (do sets of arm exercises when I watch TV). DH and I are having our 15th wedding anniversary this July. I am so excited about this because for the first time in nearly the entire 15 years we've been married, by July I should be getting relatively close to my wedding weight (I never weighed myself then but am guesstimating I was in the high 130s or low 140s when we got married; I was wearing a size 10). To celebrate this milestone anniversary, we are going to Maui for five nights. I am so, so excited about this trip -- not only because I will be able to do things I absolutely love to do (swim, relax by water) but because I won't have to be terribly self conscious about my weight. By early July I am hoping to be in the low 170s and hopefully comfortably wearing a size 14, which is by no means a bikini body, but I hopefully won't be totally mortified to wear a bathing suit like I have been for at least a decade. I've been looking at the Lands End catalogs and they have a great selection of bathing suits that have good coverage (especially upper thighs, a nightmare zone for me), so I'm going to buy a couple of bathing suits from them as I get closer to the big date. So tomorrow I have to fly to Orlando, and I used to hate flying because I was so self conscious about how much space I took in a seat (basically overflowed the seat into the poor passenger's seat next to me). I still hate flying and am still self conscious, but hopefully I won't be overflowing too much into the seat next to me. My challenge this week will be to not cheat badly and stay disciplined with the food choices. I know I will be walking around a lot so that should help counterbalance any splurge meals or treats I have. I will be so, so happy to be in a sunny, warm place ... it's been a dreadful spring here in the Seattle area. This weekend I've been sprucing myself up a bit. I got a pedicure yesterday, colored my hair this morning, and am going shopping to buy a couple of new t-shirts to wear in the evening after our conference ends (going to Magic Kingdom one night, which should be lots of fun, and I want to be comfortable). I am going to be meeting some head honchos in our organization and don't want to make a bad impression. It is SUCH a relief to not have the same level of embarrassment about my weight that I used to have! I am still well aware I'm very big for my height, but I don't feel quite as self-conscious about it that I used to. I am so, so glad I got sleeved and already the changes in my life are fantastic, only three short months out from surgery!
Kris

Kris

2
 

4 Month Surgiversary, More Than Halfway to Goal!

So today is my four month surgiversary.  I am down 50 lbs. from my high preop weight and have 49 lbs. left to lose to get to my ultimate goal.  I am feeling really good!   Yesterday I had my first physical with my primary care doc (actually PA).  My weight with clothes on (jeans, tank, lightweight cotton shirt over the tank, and underwear) was 183.  My home scale said I weighed 181 so I think my home scale is accurate, maybe even a little on the high side (I assume my clothes weighed 3 or 4 lbs, but maybe not.  I wish I had thought to weigh myself immediately before or after seeing the doctor, but alas I didn't).  My blood pressure was 118/80, which I believe is very normal.  I have to get a blood test to check my vitamin, mineral, and cholesterol levels.  The PA had never even heard of VSG and I had to explain it to her.  She didn't say a word about me going to Mexico, good or bad.  She did look at my incisions as part of the exam and said they looked like they were healing just fine.  She did seem pretty happy with my weight loss, although of course I am still considered pretty obese and have a long way to go to get to goal.  She did ask me how much weight I could lose with VSG and I said my dr. said I could lose up to 95% of my excess weight, and she seemed really surprised by that.  I guess time will tell how far I get.   I continue to get great restriction with my sleeve if I eat protein.  Today DH and I went to Famous Dave's for a late lunch/early dinner (I did 3 hours of fairly vigorous work in the garden -- building a raised bed from a kit, filling it with 8 large bags of potting soil, weeding a raspberry patch, etc.) so I was pretty hungry.  We ordered the half slab ribs platter to share (6 ribs, with a side of fries, baked beans, corn on the cob, and cornbread muffin).  I was able to eat 3/4 of one rib, a couple of fries, 3 bites of baked beans, and was totally stuffed.  My husband was happy as a clam because he got 5 ribs all to himself (and polished off the remaining part of my rib), all the corn, all the cornbread muffin, and almost all the fries.  Pre-VSG, we would share the same dinner, but have plenty of room left in our tummies for dessert (we would share a piece of pecan pie with vanilla ice cream).  Now we were both so full from the meal, we didn't have room for dessert.     Let's see -- what else.  I am wearing size 16s and am able to now shop in Costco and Sam's Club for clothes -- I could never do that before and it is exciting.  They have some good swimsuits for sale and I will probably buy a couple next month as I get closer to my trip to Hawaii.     I am definitely losing more weight now that I am actively doing garden work, and that is a lot of fun.  I hope my increased activity will keep the calories burning and the weight coming off!   I have noticed another great thing -- I am sleeping longer every night.  I used to wake up at least once in the middle of the night, but now I sleep at least 7 hours, sometimes 8, before waking up, and i definitely feel better rested now than pre-surgery.  I think I had sleep apnea before surgery and while I may still have it, I am sleeping more soundly and better than I have in years.  That is also helping me have a good level of energy.   One final thing -- I started eating fruit again last week.  I bought some grapes the other day and they were fantastic -- like candy to me, but good for me.  I think all the time I've not had many sweets has made me more sensitive to sweetness so fruits taste sweeter and more delicious than they did before surgery.  Yay, another benefit of being sleeved!     So all in all, it's been a good week and a great four months.  I am really excited to see how I progress now that summer will be here in a few weeks.  I think I will make my July 4th goal to be under 170 lbs. and I am really hoping next week when I post a blog entry I will be able to say I am in the 170s.  
Kris

Kris

4
 

Week 16 Surgiversary -- Nearly Halfway to Goal!!!

So this is my nearly 4 month surgiversary (next Saturday is the actual surgiversary date). I am almost at my midpoint -- 49 lbs. lost, 50 lbs. to go to get to my ultimate goal weight of 132 lbs. That's exciting news! Exciting too to be nearly out of the 180s -- if all goes well that should be happening in less than 2 weeks. I have been battling with some pretty awful snack cravings, which usually hit between 3-4 pm and (depending on when I eat dinner, and what's in the dinner), between 8-9 pm. I find it easier to disregard the snacking urge in the evening but the afternoon snacking urge is powerful, and most days I succumb to it. And it is almost always a crunchy, salty carb snack (lately chex mix and Riceworks Sweet Chili rice chips have been my go-to snack of choice). I was feeling very guilty about snacking because I remember Dr. Aceves warning not to do that. At the suggestion of a fellow sleever I contacted his patient coordinator to ask if I can eat more than 3 times a day, and as it turns out he will allow 5-6 small meals a day, so I translate that into meals plus a couple of snacks, as long as I'm staying below a total intake of 900 calories a day and getting in a decent amount of protein each day. Happy, happy me! I stocked up on some very low-cal snacks (dill pickles) in case I'm running close to the 900 calories a day limit and still want to eat something. I've been pretty active this weekend with gardening chores (in fact am quite sore right now!) and I know that will help me lose weight. I actually lost more weight in April than in March (8.6 lbs. vs. 8 lbs. in March), due I believe to being more active, now that springtime is here. So I am hoping for another month of 8+ lbs. lost in May. I gave a bunch of my old size 22's/2X/3X clothes to Goodwill today and actually went shopping in the store for the first time ever. I found a couple of pairs of capris for $6 each and a polo shirt for $4 so am happy with that ... some extra weekend clothes to wear, especially while I am gardening. I am sure I will go back as I lose weight, as it seems there are a lot more clothes in the smaller sizes than in the larger sizes. I was tempted to buy a couple of pairs of size 14 jeans, but thought better of it ... I can buy those when the time is right. I am definitely still in the size 16/1X zone and no point of pretending otherwise! I guess that is about all for this week ... I am looking forward to next week and hopefully will be really close to 180 next week. I have a ton of garden chores to do this week and hope Mother Nature gives me some decent weather to work in ... if I can do an hour or two of gardening chores each evening after work, I will have a very good shot at being near 180 next week.
Kris

Kris

1
 

8th Week Surgiversary -- Time is Flying!

Tomorrow will be my 2 month surgiversary. It seems a little unreal that it was only 2 months ago that I was in Mexico having this life-altering procedure! It feels like another lifetime ago. And truthfully it really was another life ... two months ago today was my last day on earth with a full size stomach.   But, as long ago as my surgery now seems, each day I still learn lessons about the capacity of my new sleeve -- it seems it is takng me an extra long time to realize I can't eat half or even a third of what I used to be able to eat at every meal. Case in point: today the hubster and I went out to lunch; he was feeling a little under the weather and when we are feeling unwell our go-to place is to a local Pho (Vietnamese soup) restaurant (Pho Tai). At this restaurant they serve two sizes of Pho -- small (which is actually way bigger than our normal bowls at home) and large (which is a freaking huge tureen-size bowl -- I think it holds about a quart, no lie). Pre-sleeve, both DH and I would each order a small bowl of pho and eat about 2/3-3/4 of it. I keep forgetting how SMALL my new sleeve is. The hub ordered a cha gio (fried spring roll, totally delish) and at my suggestion ordered a large bowl of brisket pho (and we asked for an extra small empty bowl for me so we could share -- why I asked him to order a large bowl I really don't know). I had two small bites of the roll before DH took the rest (he's a greedy bugger, and it KILLS me he has never had a weight problem!) and then the soup came. I decanted into the empty bowl what I thought was a good sleeve size portion of broth, a couple small slices of beef, and a few rice noodles -- somewhere between 1/4 and 1/2 cup altogether. I ate about half of that and was stuffed. DH tried his best to eat the large size bowl but it was far more than he could handle. Next time we are going to share a small bowl. Even with the large size bowl of pho, the whole lunch today was about $12 including tip -- what a bargain! We are saving some serious money now on eating out and groceries now that I have been sleeved.   Tonight for dinner I tried Barilla pasta for the first time since being sleeved. I cooked up a package of Trader Joe's turkey bolognese sauce (love that stuff!) and made about a cup of pasta (WAY too much pasta -- but at least I have leftovers for dinner tomorrow night). I served up a 1/4 cup portion and that was OK. I got really full quickly, but I'm now nearly an hour after dinner and not feeling any major discomfort (I'm still full, but not sick or anything like that). I know some people have a hard time with pasta; I think I am handlng it fine. I worry a bit about the carbs so this won't be a regular part of my diet.   I'm definitely not eating as low carb as many people post sleeve. I do try to eat protein first but almost every meal has some type of carb along with the protein, whether a bite of toasted sandwich thin, a few crackers with tuna, a bite of noodle with meat, etc. I guess I am eating more like a normal person as far as protein-carbs go, but of course just in much smaller portions. I do keep track of my calories and most days I eat around 800 calories -- some days fewer, some days a little more. I do assume I would lose a little more weight each week if I went ultra-low carb, but I figure as long as I am staying within the calorie range my surgeon suggested (which I am), I can have a balance of protein and carbs.   On Friday I had my weekly weigh-in and the scale said I am down another 2 lbs., to 197.4. I gave my mom my old scale (hers went kaput) a few weeks ago, but I knew my old scale tended a couple of lbs. higher than my new scale, so my best guess is I've lost 29 or 30 lbs. since surgery. I'm down about 33 lbs. from my high weight (the day I booked my surgery; December 1, 2010). Before surgery I had hoped to lose 35-40 lbs. within the first two months of surgery, so am not that close to what I thought I would/could lose, but never in my life could I come close to losing so much weight in such a short period of time. I think my body has settled into a routine of losing 2 lbs. a week, and I hope that continues for a long time!   I think I should note some other physical changes that have occurred since surgery. The first major change is I have not had a menstrual cycle in two months. I got my period the day I was released from the hospital after being sleeved (Jan. 10th), and then the next month had some very very light spotting, and then nothing this month. YAY!!! Another reason I love my sleeve! I hope this continues a long time. I loathe my monthly curse so am loving this time w/o it!   Another change -- Since surgery I have developed the beginnings of turkey neck and it is AWFUL. My face is definitely getting smaller but the skin is crepey and horrible on the lower part of my chin and neck. I bought some BIo-Oil last weekend and have been using that in lieu of my regular Olay moisturizer routine, hoping that the oil would smooth my skin more ... but so far it is not to be. I hope my skin catches up soon but I am worried that I will have a wattle the rest of my life. Eeek!!! I am only 43!!!!   And another change -- I am definitely getting gray smudges under my eyes. I never had this pre-sleeve. I now try to cover them with makeup but even I notice the change. People have said several times that I look really tired, even when I haven't felt tired; and I think it's because of the change around my eyes. I hope this is temporary. I have had a very stressful month at work (hopefully the worst is behind me) and just got back from a cross-country business trip (3 hour time change, so I definitely had some jet lag) and had some trouble sleeping on several occasions, so I'm not sure if this is diet-related or stress/work-related.   Today I started cleaning out my closet and drawers of excess clothes I know I'll never wear again (primarily summer clothes -- by summer I know I will definitely be too small to wear size 22 shorts/capris/shirts, yay!). I filled two huge tote bins and took them to the local Goodwill to donate. My closet was stuffed full of clothes -- about half of which I rarely or never wore/wear, so this was a very fun experience. In a few weeks I will take another round of clothes to donate. I should have a nearly empty closet within a month or two! Wow! I know I won't be buying a lot of clothes while I am actively losing weight so I will probably have a nearly empty closet most of this year, until I get down near goal.  
Kris

Kris

3
 

Week 7 Surgiversary -- Made it to ONEderland!

First of all I want to say howdy to everyone who has read and commented on my previous blog entries. I am still figuring out my way around this site and didn't realize people had commented before until I was poking around my profile and saw comments. Thanks for the comments! I heart my fellow sleevers and sleevers-to-be!   So ... today I posted on the Success Stories topic that I have finally achieved my first big VSG goal -- to be below 200 lbs. I weighed in this morning at 199.4 lbs. on my new scale, despite having been on the road all week and eating out virtually every meal. I am THRILLED to have made this goal ... it took a bit longer than I had hoped but I am a small woman (5'1") and my body doesn't need as many calories as taller folks. I have been pretty steadily losing two lbs. a week for the past few weeks and as long as I keep up at that rate I am totally fine and happy. I still have just shy of 75 lbs. to lose for my final goal, so I will be on this journey for quite a while. My birthday is in mid November and I will be absolutely thrilled if I am within the vicinity of goal by then.   Another major excitement -- clothes shopping. My size 22 WP clothes are really loose so I went shopping and was so excited to be out of sizes that start with the number 2! Today I just bought a couple of pairs of size 18 Lee relaxed fit jeans. They are a bit snug, so I figure I will be able to wear them at least a good 3 months before they get as loose as my size 22s are right now, and then moving down to the next size (hope to hold out buying more jeans until I can fit in a size 14 P).   And this is embarrassing to admit, but today was the first day in a LONG time that I put on makeup -- foundation, blush, eyeliner, lipstick. I was happy with the scale and wanted to look as good as possible to celebrate. Honestly, I never bothered with makeup because I thought there was no point ... a made up face couldn't distract from such a big round body. But now that I am losing weight and getting close to the realm of normal sizes, I am taking more care with my appearance. I went to the store and splurged and bought a couple of new lipsticks today since I haven't worn lipstick in quite a while, and some translucent pink nail polish.   I will say that first month post surgery was not fun at all, but now that I am nearly 2 months out, and feeling really good and losing weight more successfully than I have in decades, I am SO, SO GLAD I got the sleeve. I have confidence that I will continue losing weight ... not at a really fast pace, but slow and steady is terrific for me (hopefully my skin will shrink more easily with a more gradual weight loss). I am really getting the hang of being OK with really small portions of food, and I have never overeaten to the point of throwing up, which makes me happy, I also tolerate most foods really well. I definitely limit my carb intake and avoid bread, which fills my sleeve up too fast, and avoid sweets and empty calories.   Speaking of sweets, my taste buds seem to have changed (I know this happens with a lot of people who get sleeved). I am a lot more sensitive to sweetness than I was pre-sleeve -- things that were pleasantly sweet pre-surgery are now too sweet to me and I don't like it. I have had almost nothing sweet at all to eat since being sleeved, and although I am briefly tempted by sweets when they are right in front of me, I usually have no trouble passing them by (or if eating some dessert, just limiting it to one small bite (which satisfies any sweet cravings I have).   I love my sleeve!!!!
Kris

Kris

1
 

Three Weeks Post-Op

Well, I survived the liquids stage and on Friday 1/28 started on the mushies stage. I am SO HAPPY to be onto mushies now! I have learned that my new sleeve has more than enough restriction ... a 1/8 cup sized serving is all I can do in a 30 minute time frame ... in order to get enough calories I serve myself a 1/4 cup portion, eat half, take a break, and eat the other half ... takes about an hour or so. I have to remind myself to chew the food to smithereens and that is very different than how I ate before ... as well as put the spoon/fork down between bites and actually pause a bit between bites (never did that in my pre-op days!).   I have a feeling I'll be able to stay on mushies for at least 10 days with no trouble. I actually don't mind the consistency of food whizzed thru a blender so it doesn't bother me. I'm just thrilled to be able to CHEW again! It has been a challenge to not drink during mealtimes. I am so used to drinking while I eat that it's a tough habit to break. I find it hard to get all my liquids too. It's something I really need to concentrate on.       My first couple of days on mushies were very good scale-wise. I had a tremendous weight loss the first week (nearly 12 lbs, I recall) -- then the second week had a 3 day stall and only lost 3 lbs. Week 3 was even worse -- only a 2.5 lb. weight loss. I was beginning to despair of ever losing 20 - 25 lbs my first month, which was my goal. But since Friday I have dropped a couple of lbs. already and that is exciting. I now only have to lose 1 lb. to be equal to a 20 lb. weight loss since my last pre-op weigh-in and I still have a week to go before my month is up, so barring a horrible stall I should be able to meet my goal for my first month. My second goal is to be below 200 lbs. by Valentines Day -- that's achievable too, I think. I am at 205.5 lbs. today so still have 15 days to go to lose over 5.5 lbs.   I also noticed my energy level seems to be improving. It's the weekend so I slept in yesterday and today and that probably helped. I took a good walk today -- first in a couple of weeks, I'm ashamed to admit (but honestly at night after getting home from work, my energy level has been pretty low). I felt like I was walking at a pretty good clip, too, but not too fast. I am starting to notice it's easier to exercise ... I'm down over 25 lbs. since the beginning of December -- hard to believe!   My clothes are definitely getting looser. That is cool. Nearly my entire wardrobe is size 22W (2X - 3X -- I have consistently been that size for YEARS). I am hoping just to wear my clothes until they are literally ready to fall off and then hopefully will be able to skip right past size 20W and into size 18W (1X). I've got some good coupons for Macy's and Kohl's and hope to buy a few things in February to tide me over until the spring clothes start coming out in March and April.   When I look in the mirror I don't see much of a change. I know the scale and my clothes are telling me I've lost weight, but I can't see it really. I bumped into a friend I used to work with at Costco yesterday and she didn't comment that I looked like I've lost weight, so I think it's not really that apparent yet. Hopefully in a couple of months it will be really noticeable.   I have another couple of mini-goals that will come after getting to ONEderland. 1) Weigh less than my mom (she has been doing South Beach for a month and has lost nearly as much weight as me -- amazing!) by March 15th; and 2) weigh less than my non-overweight hubby by April 15th. Let's see how I do!
Kris

Kris

3
 

2nd Week Surgiversary

Well, today marks my 2nd week surgiversary. I weighed in today at 210.0 -- loss of 3 lbs. from last week and 14.5 lbs. since surgery. I was stalled for 3 days this week and have to say this week overall was MUCH worse than last week, even considering I had a cold most of last week! A big part of it was going back to work. I think I went back to work too soon. I should have taken two full weeks off. I was only able to work about 5 hours each day until today. Today I worked at home and was able to do nearly a full day -- 7 hours. I was practically ready to have a meltdown the past couple of days. My energy was just so low, and I don't know if it was hormones or what but I was SO emotional, and not wanting to see or be around people. Today I actually have not been around people and that was probably a good thing and probably why I don't feel quite as exhausted today as I have been feeling the past few days. TGIF! -- I have two days off to rest (well, tomorrow will be a little busy, but definitely I am doing nothing on Sunday). I am able to drink more fluids every day. I am thirsty quite often and have upped my crystal light intake. I find I don't care for the taste (non-taste) of water so all my water is being gotten through the other beverages I've been consuming. Today I am sure I will get a full 64+ oz in and that is a good feeling. I am sure part of my stall was I just wasn't drinking enough fluids and/or getting enough protein in. I will be SO GLAD to be through the liquids stage ... a week from today I get to start on mushies. I already have a list of things I want to eat in the mushy stage: Trader Joe's masala lentil dip, mashed up smoked oysters, refried beans, mushed up baked beans, mashed potatoes & gravy, egg drop soup, and pureed thicker soups. Now I just know as appealing as all those things sound right now (when I can't have them), I am sure I will quickly tire of mushies, too. But at least it is more variety, and variety is something I really am lacking at this stage in the process. I am still struggling to get more than 400 calories a day in. At least half of that comes through my daily protein shake. One reason I think I have had such low energy is that I've had such a limited amount of calories overall, and not enough protein. I think I was so keen on having VSG that I really didn't give any thought at all to what it would actually be like after the operation. The first week was no walk in the park but the second week .... oy. In a way maybe it's good I didn't know how rough it would be. I am sure if I had taken the week off from work it would not have been quite as bad. Anyway, I am thankful I haven't had any really bad side effects from the surgery. My incisions seem to be healing up pretty well. The adhesive surgical tapes started falling off my incisions yesterday and the incisions look pink and like they are healing up well. I am not trying to force any of the tapes off, just letting them fall off naturally like the dr. said. I am starting to notice changes in how my clothes and underwear are fitting. I definitely am seeing a bit of looseness in my underwear and my bras. I still think my abdomen is still somewhat distended as the waistbands on my clothes aren't noticeably looser, but the legs and arms of my clothes do feel a bit looser. That is a nice feeling. A few more lbs. down and I think my clothes will definitely be on the loose side. i have a few items in the next size down but am hoping to delay buying any new clothes until I can fit into size 18s ... probably not for another month or two. Speaking of clothes, one thing I really, really am looking forward to is cleaning out my closet and getting rid of clothes I can no longer wear. I had accumulated A LOT of clothes over the years and it will be great fun to get rid of them and have a tidy closet that's not crammed with clothes. I think the big closet cleanout will be sometime in March. I will have a better idea in a few weeks, I'm sure.
Kris

Kris

1
 

1 Week Surgiversary -- 11.5 lbs. Gone!!!!

Today is my one week surgiversary and I am down 11.5 lbs. since my final weigh-in the day before surgery. Unbelievable! I am so thrilled!   My first mini-goal is to get to ONEderland by Valentine's Day and I think that is very achievable.   My energy level is still pretty low, on account of me getting a cold (most likely picked it up while traveling home from Mexico). But other than that I think I am healing up pretty normally.
Kris

Kris

1
 

Three Month Surgiversary

I went to Orlando this week on a business trip and while I was on my trip I hit my 3 month surgiversary. I actually lost 1 lb. this week, which is awesome, considering I was eating out every meal (but on the other hand, I was doing a lot of walking around in the evenings, which I think helped offset the extra calories). I was really, really happy to be walking around with other people who are not obese and able to keep up with them pretty well -- something I could never do pre-surgery! As of today I am 188.8 lbs. I had set an ambitious Easter goal to be at 180 by Easter and I am sure I won't make it ... I am thinking I will be lucky to be below 185 by that date. But heck, that is still great! DH just went out for breakfast ... he is going to our local, amazing donut shop called Legendary Donuts (and they are incredibly great donuts). I passed on the trip (yay for me, little NSV right there!) -- I am having crackers with sunflower seed butter instead (not exactly the best breakfast, but way way better than a donut!). Fortunately, the idea of a donut is not nearly as tempting to me now as it used to be. My appetite for sweets still is nowhere near what it used to be prior to surgery. I do enjoy a bite or two of dessert on a periodic basis, but usually 2 bites is totally fine and I don't want or need any more. I saw a friend yesterday whom I hadn't seen since before surgery. The first thing she said to me was, "You've lost weight, haven't you? I can really notice! You look great!" That made me feel really great. I told her I had been sleeved and she surprised me and said her mom had the same procedure, and she was very supportive. I have been very open about telling people about getting sleeved and so far I have not had one negative comment. I know my friends and family were truly concerned about my weight before surgery, and they are really happy that I am losing weight. I figured if I ever get a snide comment about having surgery, I'll know that person really doesn't have my best interests at heart and I should be wary of them going forward. Other than that, there's not much to tell this week. Oh, one last thing ... I did splurge and spend $60 at Sephora yesterday and bought replacement Bare Escentuals makeup kit (the last time I bought some was at least 2 years ago and I was thinking it needed to be replaced). I do wear makeup now most days, and I have to admit it does make me feel like I look better. I don't mess with eye shadow but do use foundation, blush, and lipstick, and if I'm feeling very into it I'll put on eyeliner and a little mascara. I've been shopping a few times and am already coveting some of the really pretty spring dresses that are for sale. I think I may end up being a real girly-girl once I get into regular sizes again!
Kris

Kris

0
 

New Blog

I've created a new blog to chronicle my weight loss journey, so this will be my last blog post here on verticalsleevetalk. My new blog is called curvygirlwellness@blogspot.com. I hope you can visit it and share your thoughts/feedback!
Kris

Kris

0
 

Return of the Dreadful Auntie Flo

Sigh -- I knew it had to happen at some point, and it did. After a nice 3 month hiatus of no periods, Auntie Flo made a return visit this weekend. And she is back with a VENGEANCE. I don't think I've had a cycle this bad in quite a long while. But, OTOH, and I a bit reassured that my body is really recovered from the surgery, and all systems are back on track.   So this week I've lost a bit more than 1 lb. (1.2 lb to be precise). Considering Auntie F's visit, I take that as a good sign.   Today it was a splendid spring day, and I spent hours at my community garden plot, doing a lot of physical labor (hauling many wheelbarrows full of compost, steer manure, and leaf mold, and filling several raised beds; planting potatoes and strawberries, and shoveling compost from one pile to another. I never realize how much work I've done until I get home, get showered, and get dressed, and then the aches and pains really make themselves known. I am really glad it's spring because most of the exercise I get is relating to gardening, and during the winter I don't do much in the way of physical activity. So I hope the scale is kind to me next week when I weigh in.   Next week is Easter and I definitely will not make my Easter challenge goal of 180 lbs. I am hoping to get below 186. 185 would be awesome. I am pretty much in the slow loser camp, but as long as the lbs. keep coming off I am OK with that.   Let's see, what else? The size 18 jeans and size 1X tops I've been wearing the past couple of months are slowly but surely getting looser. I think once I get into the 170s I should be comfortably wearing size 16. That should happen sometime in May ... mid to late May. I really can't wait to see a a number in the 170s on the scale!   I have a dr. appointment for May 6th and will be getting a checkup and a blood test as part of my follow up from surgery. I never told my primary care physician that I was having surgery (I had asked her about weight loss surgery a couple of years ago and she basically blew me off, so I figured she wouldn't care or might even be actively against me having surgery). I am hoping when she sees the difference in my weight, blood pressure, etc., she will be fine with it, and really if she isn't fine with it I'm going to find another physician (I belong to an *** so it's actually kind of rare to keep a long term relationship with the same doctor).   Oh, and I had to have a mammogram on Friday. Very, very embarrassing. My girls are like giant sloshy half filled water balloons. The only good thing was the discomfort in having the actual mammogram was far less than last year. I did tell the dr. I had weight loss surgery and had lost over 40 lbs. since my previous mammogram, and she seemed very pleased about that and noted it in the file, since I am sure there will be changes in how my breasts look from last year. I know it's a long deflation process with my ta-tas, and I am 99.9% sure I will need to be getting a breast reduction/lift once I am done losing weight, because I don't want to look like a cow with huge udders when this is all over!   Let's see, what else. I have *horrible* turkey neck, it's getting worse instead of better. I know it's because I am losing weight, but still, it's awful. I slather expensive lotions on my neck but so far no joy. I also am getting nasty loose skin in my upper arms, near my armpits. I am beginning to look like a human shar-pei, as a matter of fact.   But -- my energy level is good, and I am still so happy with my sleeve and the fairly effortless weight loss I am experiencing. I am going to have a great year this year!
Kris

Kris

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Week 15 Post Op -- Easter Challenge, July 4th Challenge, & Hair Loss

I had my 15th week surgiversary on Friday; my four month surgiversary is coming soon (May 7th ... I think there's an extra week since January and March were long months). Today I weighed in at 184.6. I had set an Easter Challenge goal to get to 180 by today, but missed that by, well, a lot ... I got about 80% to goal, though, so that is still OK with me. My July 4th challenge is to get below 170 ... to 169 to be exact. That's a total loss of 15.6 lbs. in 10 weeks. That is much more in line with what I have been losing. I definitely lose more weight when I am physically active so I know if I could just bump up the exercise I would easily make that goal with room to spare. Now that it is springtime, and the weather isn't quite as dreadful as it has been the first few months of the year, I am going to try to at least get out and walk 30 minutes a day, plus have some heavy duty gardening chores on the weekends (and maybe I can sneak in some gardening after work a few nights). On July 5th I will be going to Maui w/DH to celebrate our 15th anniversary so I am totally excited to get to this goal. I really NEED to get to this goal because right now my bod is in bad, bad shape. I still have horrible thunder thighs, big fat arms, and just overall am still quite obese (though, I am happy to note, I finally have a BMI of under 35 ... woo hoo! ... only 5 more BMI points to lose and I will no longer be considered obese!). Fifteen pounds isn't going to make that dramatic of a difference, I fully realize, but every little bit helps. I'm definitely going to have to buy swim apparel with good coverage! So, the only other thing I think worth mentioning for this week is I am definitely starting to see some hair loss ... not gobs of hair, but definitely more shedding than I used to have. I know it will get worse before it gets better. I've been letting my hair grow out since surgery, and I don't know if that's good or bad for disguising hair loss. I am getting a little peeved at the extra attention I have to use to take care of longer hair, but I figure I will just keep going and in a few months my hair should be long enough to pull into a pony tail, and that should help. I read that some of the saggy neck skin problem may be due to slight dehydration, and lack of moisture in the skin. I had stopped using Bio-Oil for a while but am back onto that because it definitely moisturizes more than the Olay Regenerist products I use on my face. Part of why I haven't chopped my hair short is because the longer hair does distract a little from my turkey neck. I wore my size 16 jeans around town yesterday afternoon .... they are comfortable in the butt and legs, but around the waist still a little too snug for comfort. As soon as I got home I took off those jeans and put on my nice and comfy (loose) size 18 jeans ... that was kind of a reminder, too, that I've still got a long way to go on this weight loss journey. Just because I can pack my gut into a pair of size 16s doesn't mean it's going to feel good! I am really amazed, though, when I pick up those size 16s that I can wear them ... they seem SO SMALL compared to what I am used to! It's hard to get my head around that. Well ... that's about all for today. DH and I are going to my mom's house for Easter ... she has made way too much food, so I will have to be extra cautious about what I try to eat. Mostly I'll be eating ham, with a few bites of other stuff. Dessert is angel food cake with sweetened strawberries and whipped cream .... not too high calorie, though i will have to take it easy with the cake! It's exciting to think that this will be my last Easter as an obese person. Next Easter, if all goes well, I should be back into normal sizes (hopefully size 8P or, dare I even say it, size 6P ... I really can't imagine ever being that small, though!)
Kris

Kris

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Road Trip

One of my best friends has moved from the DC area to here (Seattle area) this past week. She drove herself halfway across the country and I flew to Sioux Falls SD on Tuesday 8/16 to meet her and road trip with her the rest of the way. We drove about 550 miles each day and travelled through five states (South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, and Washington). Of course, good food is always an integral part of a fun road trip, and we had our share of good food along the way. We had a couple of truly memorable meals (Silk Road for dinner in Missoula, MT, and Gordy's Sichuan Cafe for lunch in Spokane, WA), as well as a variety of munchies to nibble on during the long drives between stops. With long drives (very little exercise) and more food than I normally eat, needless to say I was not expecting to lose any weight -- particularly since I have again been in a several week long virtual weight loss stall. Yesterday was also a big eating out day -- my friend and I had lunch at a local Mexican restaurant, then met my mom a few hours later for afternoon tea (I had about half a scone and a little shortbread cookie, with some delicious peach-apricot tea), and then a few hours after that DH and I went out to a fantastic Vietnamese restaurant we'd never tried before and I had a variety of delicious bites. So, with all this eating out and road trip munching I've been doing, it was a really pleasant surprise to see I've lost .4 lbs. this week (nothing to brag about for sure, but to be lower than last week, with all the food, that was cool). Of course I have been pondering the paradox of eating more and losing weight. I do think maybe when we are on such a generally low-cal diet, it's probably a good thing once in a while to increase the calorie uptake to shake up the body chemistry a bit. I am wondering if maybe my body is starting to really hoard fat .... I keep thinking to myself that the "easy" weight loss is over, and I really do have to work harder to lose every pound now. I was losing 8 lbs. a month like clockwork w/o exercising, but once I hit the five month mark my weight loss started really slowing down, and I've been exercising regularly (4 days a week) ever since June and still not losing 8 lbs. a month anymore. I do know that at my current height/weight/age/activity level my body needs about 2,000 calories a day to just to maintain, and even on my worst eating days ever I know I have not ever eaten that many calories. Most days I am eating around 1000 calories -- even yesterday, with all that food (and yesterday was a huge eating day for me) I am sure I didn't even get to 1,500 calories -- so it is a mystery why I am not losing more weight (should be losing 2 lbs. a week). It is something to ponder for sure. I am exactly 30 lbs. from my goal weight now (I weigh 162 and my goal is 132). As I mentioned, my weight loss this month has been dismal. I still have 5 lbs. to lose for my Labor Day goal and am not so optimistic I will hit it. I am also 3 lbs. from having a BMI of under 30 and it seems like I will NEVER get there ... but I've been in this spot before, and eventually the weight does come off and then I'm onto the next goal. I had a great walk this morning and am now headed out to the garden to work for an hour or so. I hope that when I check in here next week I will be able to say I am closer to my Labor Day goal!
Kris

Kris

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Changing My Goal Weight

I've been thinking a lot and decided to change my goal weight from 125 to 132. At 132 lbs. I will still be with the "normal" BMI range but to me the 7 lb. difference is major. I have not been in the 120s since I was in jr. high school, like age 14 or something. I did get down into and maintained my weight in the low-mid 130s for several years in my 20s, so I know what it's like to be in the low 130s. In my 20s I would jog 3 miles a day and do exercise videos and followed a strict <1500 calorie/day diet, and never could get much below 130 ... now that I am older and not as active, I figure it will be a great achievement to get back into the 130s and stay there so that is my new goal. As a result of this goal change, I am suddenly a bit closer to goal -- nearly mid-point as a matter of fact. That is a great feeling! The first few months have gone by quickly and for the most part easily (except for bad snack cravings, something I will blog about more this weekend).
Kris

Kris

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Last Day of Recuperation at Home

I took a week and a half off from work to have surgery and recuperate. Tomorrow is my first day back to work. Part of me is excited (it gets a little boring at times to be at home) and part is dreading it (my energy level today is OK, but this morning by the time I was done showering, dressing, and making the bed I was ready to rest a while! Tomorrow, no such luck. I might try to get up earlier just in case I need to rest a while before going to work, so I won't be late getting in. I promise myself if I really can't do a full day of work I will take part of the day off until I am ready for a full day. But I will enjoy seeing people at work again, and getting back into the groove.   I had my first walk yesterday ... just up to the local park and back, probably just shy of a mile. It was a little too much ... I really noticed my abdominal muscles and my incisions once I got home. But it did feel good to move a bit. Today I will take another walk, but just half as long as yesterday.   I have to say that is one characteristic I really notice in myself. I tend to try to overdo things when I ought to be content to under-do (or more accurately, do the appropriate amount). Could've taken 2 weeks off, but no, I wanted to be macho and get back to work earlier .... I could've walked 10 minutes, but no, I had to go 20 minutes right out the gate. Dumb. It is really something I need to work on. Better to under-commit and deliver easily than overcommit and feel like crap getting it done .... I always find a way to get it done, but usually it costs me ... sigh. I wonder if this is because I have low self esteem and have to overcommit to people to "prove" to them that I am worthy. Enough truth in that observation to sting, for sure. It's something to think about. I know my weight issues are not stand-alone, they are part of a complex web of emotions and self-talk and self-perception. While I am on my weight loss journey I also want/need to be on an honest self-exploration journey too. I don't want to end up at my weight loss goal only to find myself overweight again a few years later, and that will happen if I don't deal with my emotional/mental issues as well as dealing with what I put in my mouth and how I move my body.   Well, on more cheerful news, the scale told me this morning I am down to 211. I am so happy about that! I had surgery 11 days ago and have lost 13.5 lbs. -- a little more than 1 lb. lost a day. I don't think this is sustainable for long but for now it feels really good. When I look in the mirror I don't see much change, but because I am so big it will take a while to see change.   I can't wait to get to ONEderland and hope/expect that will be sometime in February (if it happens in January, I will be over the moon with joy -- but with only 2 weeks left in January I would have to keep losing nearly 1 lb. a day in order to hit that, and I don't want my hopes dashed if I have a stall, which is very common around the 2nd or 3rd week after surgery). So my mini-goal is ONEderland by Valentine's Day. I am sure I can meet this goal!
Kris

Kris

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Cracked the 170s!

This was a good news/bad news week. The good news was last Sunday (or Monday, not sure which) I broke into the 170s with a weight of 179.8. The bad news is I am still 179.8 as of today, and in fact as recently as Friday I was 181. But I'm happy to say I am in the 170s again after 14 LONG years. My hubby weighs in the low 170s so if I hit my July 4th goal of 167 I will finally weigh less than my husband, again something I haven't been able to say since shortly after we were married in 1996. I had a couple of weeks of good weight loss but for the month so far I am only down 3 lbs., so I hope the rest of May is better as far as the scale is concerned, or I am going to have a tough time getting out of the 170s. In other non-sleeve news, we just adopted a sweet, beautiful female bunny named Jewelie. She is 2 years old and had a very rough life; she was rescued a few months ago from a home where the owner was starving her to death. Fortunately, a local rabbit rescue organization (Rabbit Haven) was able to take her in and nurse her back into good health. We wanted to adopt a female rabbit for our neutered male rabbit, Toffee. We took Toffee to Rabbit Haven yesterday to "date" some of the girls and hopefully find one who would be a good bunny wife for him. We had read about Jewelie on Rabbit Haven's website and she was the first girl we wanted to introduce to Toffee. She was a dear girl, totally submissive to Toffee, and the Rabbit Haven folks said they were having a pretty great first date. So, we decided to adopt her and bring her home. Now that they are both home, Toffee is definitely showing dominance, but she is so submissive and sweet that I think they will be fully bonded soon, hopefully within just a few weeks. We currently have them living in separate rooms and have bunny dates periodically, but they both seem a bit stressed when they spend too much time together, so we think it's better to go a little slow right now. OK, so this has absolutely zero to do with me losing weight, except that my pets make my life sooooo much better, and my hubby and I both feel we have a purpose in life to help animals by providing them a loving and safe home (we have multiple cats, many of whom were rescued, so now we are on to bunnies and cats). The only thing in my life that I have felt was really unsatisfactory has been my obesity, and even that is (slowly) changing. Anyway, that's about it for this week. Hard to believe it is mid-May already, and Memorial Day is just a couple short weeks away!
Kris

Kris

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WITHIN NORMAL RANGES

A week ago on Friday I had a checkup with my primary care physician's office. I asked to have blood workup to make sure everything is A-OK since it's been 4 months since surgery. I had a bunch of blood samples taken, checking cholesterol, iron, folate, vitamins/minerals, and fasting blood sugar. I got my results back this week and I was SO happy to see that everything is within normal ranges! In 2009, the last time I had blood drawn, it was because my dr. was worried I had diabetes. My fasting glucose level was 110 -- higher than the acceptable normal range of 65-99, but not quite as high as to confirm diabetes (a reading of 125 or higher is indicative of diabetes). I was "pre-diabetic" and that was one of the things that was worrying me (not to mention I had somewhat high blood pressure too). Anyhow, as of last week, my fasting glucose level was 85 -- well within normal range, and a drop of 25 points (about a 30% decrease!) from my 2009 levels. So -- only 4.5 months out of surgery and all systems are in good order -- yay, yay, yay!!!! I had a mini stall on my weight loss but it seems to have broken; as of this morning I am down to 178.0, a drop of nearly 2 lbs. since last week. I am getting ready to go out to do some gardening so that will give me some needed calorie burn. I am pretty sure I will not make it into the size 14 land by the time of our Maui trip, but hopefully by then my size 16s will be nice and comfy-loose and I won't look completely hideous in a swimsuit. I'm going to start going to a tanning salon (first time ever) this week to build up a base tan for the Hawaii vacation and a tan does make people look thinner -- hopefully it will help me! All in all -- a golly gee good news week. I feel really good, I am losing weight, My health has improved markedly, and all is well in my world!
Kris

Kris

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