:sick 3/16/07 Today I went to my PCP due to a terrible cough and I was informed that I have Bronchitis. I have 2 weeks to get this cleared up. Everytime I get this, I end up with Pneumonia. This was not a kink that I needed thrown to me right now. On top of that, I found out this week that my class is having a 20 year class reunion this summer. Now the pressure to exercise is really on. I guess it is the motivation that I needed to get my body moving.
I failed to get my shakes down the last 2 days due to illness. I just haven't felt like drinking anything thick that might trigger a coughing spell. Since I got a steroid shot yesterday, I am hoping that I will be better today and can get those suckers down.
I know that some people keep their surgery a secret. I have been thinking about this for weeks. I have decided that I will tell everyone about it. Almost everyone I know is overweight anyway. If it can save a life or give a better quality of life, I want them to know about it.
04/02/2007 I have concluded today that I could not advise anyone to have this surgery. I am having such a hard time. I have so much hurting on my body. My mental state is something else completely. All I want to do is cry. I am hurting, hungry, following the plans, having my vitamins, protein shakes (3 or 4 a day), broth or soup, GasX has become candy to me. Advil every 4 hours, Phenergan for nausea in the evening (I think the pain makes me sick). This has been the absolute worst experience of my life. If something doesn't get better fast, I will have to have this thing removed. 5 days and I still feel like shit. I feel like someone could stick a pin and me and I would fly away. Terrible....
3/7/07 Today I spent the day having a consult, labs, ekg and the psych evaluation. I was surprised that I was not informed that I was responsible for an additional $500.00 in charges, not included in the $15,000.00 that I am getting financed. All parties involved forgot to mention that tidbit of information. I guess I expected a little more organization. Anyway, I should be called within a week to notify me of clearance for the surgery.
I have been getting mostly negative responses from friends and family members when I mention that I am going to have this procedure. I didn't get these kind of responses when I had 3 C-Sections. Would I get negative responses if I had Gallbladder removal? How about a Hysterectomy? Breast Lift? I hear, "Oh you are pretty enough without having that done!" I do not feel that it is all about pretty. It is about being healthy and being alive for years to come and enjoy that time with my children. I know there are no guarantees in life, I just want to be happy and healthy the time I am here. Being tired all of the time just doesn't fit into the plans of my life anymore.
04/08/2007 I feel fabulous today. Earlier in the week, I realized that I had lost weight when I put on my watch and wedding ring. They both slide around rather than being too tight. The greatest feeling of all was when I went to put on a T-shirt that I used to have to stretch to wear and I didn't have to stretch it at all and it fit loosely. What a fabulous feeling.
I saw my aunt today that has also had Lapband done and she expressed concern that I could eat. I told her if I hadn't started with mushies, I would be starving to death. I was soooooo hungry. My stomach would start hurting, I would get a headache. I am supposed to still be on clear liquids. Can't do it. I only eat between 4-6 ounces. Although I can eat an entire 6oz. cup of yogurt. She told me I needed to call the doctor. So I guess I will do that tomorrow.
I feel so lucky that I haven't thrown up, I haven't felt sick at all. I feel wonderful. Everyone told me that the pain would go away and it would all get better. It has. I am glad that I have done it. I still haven't weighed myself. I thought I would wait until my post-op visit on May 3. I may not be able to wait that long. I am going to try though.
:eek:3/3/2007 Today I made the decision to have LapBand performed. My labs are scheduled for 3/7/2007, my pre-op is scheduled for 3/28/2007 and the surgery date is 3/29/2007. After many sleepless nights trying to decide what to do about my weight, fatigue, poor self-esteem and depression, I have made this decision. While at LapBand Solutions in Richardson, I arranged for financing for the $15,000 thru Capital One. I have 3 reasons for wanting to do this. I want to feel beautiful for my husband (I want to hide under the covers so he doesn't see me), I want to have the energy to go for a walk in the beautiful park across our street and I want to be healthy for my little girls. The fact that I could shop at Chico's would be pretty fabulous too. Since I had my youngest daughter, 8 years ago, I have just kept gaining and gaining. I really do not know my exact weight. I will find that out on 3/7/2007. I am only 5'2", so it just spreads out everywhere. I will keep posting so we all can see how things are going.
3/28/07 No lost weight from the Pre-Op diet, but my clothes aren't as tight. I guess that is okay. After all, I am doing this because it is difficult to lose weight on my own. I am so excited. Everyone keeps asking me if I am nervous. I haven't figured out why I should be nervous. Tomorrow is my new birthday. Today is the last day of the "old" me. I have been shocked by the number of people that do not want me to do this. The physicians that I have talked to about it, tell me what a wonderful thing I am doing, my family has tried to talk me out of it. It is not okay for me to be the fat girl with the pretty face anymore. I want to be the healthy, pretty girl. I don't want my children's friends to tell my little girls that "your mom is fat!" I don't want to be embarrassed to attend functions at my children's schools because they are ashamed of my weight. Am I the only one that feels that way? Is that shallow of me? Do I need therapy? Boo Hoo Hoo.:cry
Okay, the pity party is over. Gotta go get some water down me before I go to bed so I can be up in the bathroom all night.
4/16/2007 All is currently good. I continue to lose weight. People are noticing. I am on mushies now. Trying hard to stick with that plan. I eat between 4-6 ounces, usually only one meal a day. I will just have a protein shake or Micellar Milk in the evening. I am not usually as hungry now that I have gotten off of clear liquids. I have learned that a flour tortilla or toast is not for me. GAG! Yesterday, I attempted both and was sick both times. I will no longer have the desire for either. That is a terrible feeling.
I am thrilled that people are noticing that I am losing. It feels so good to know that it was not all for nothing. It was really great for my husband to tell me my backside was reducing. Woo Hoo.
I have not been very good about exercising. Today I will begin. I bought some 4lb hand weights because I am noticing flabby upper arms now. I have to get busy so I don't have a problem later on. Yuk. I hate exercising, but that was one of the reasons for the bank...to help me lose weight so I felt like getting up and moving.
I have noticed a change in my sleeping patterns since I got the band. Maybe it has nothing to do with, maybe it has caused a difference in my metabolism. At 9:00, I have to go to bed. I am exhausted. I will fall asleep wherever I am. I used to be able to stay up until 12 or 1:00 in the morning. Now I need to be in bed by 9 and sleep until 7. I have never required 10 hours sleep. I always did well on 6. What in the world has happened? Something to ask my doctor, I suppose.
:faint:3/12/07 Today I am starting the PreOp diet. Let's see how successful this is going to be. Offer me a cookie and I will blow it! I will have 2 protein shakes a day, a sensible meal and another meal consisting of 2 of the following: yogurt, waffle, cereal, toast, bagel, and a couple other items. One of my favorite breakfast foods is a container of low-fat yogurt with a couple of tablespoons of granola and some fresh berries. That will probably be my first meal, then a shake mid morning, sensible meal at lunch and a shake for dinner. I normally do not eat dinner anyway. So a shake would be just fine for me. I will drink lots of water but I am concerned that I will still be hungry. Then what do I do? Suffer with a headache all day? I better figure out my options fast. My current weight is 237. Let's see how the next two weeks go. Whew, pressure's on!
3/31/2007 I am so hungry. I am not sure if this is all in my head, but I feel like I could eat a horse. Today, I would have to tell everyone NOT to have this done. The pain has been terrible, I am still having shoulder pain, bloating and pain around the incisions. I have back pain and I feel like I am having a constant heart attack. I cannot encourage anyone to have this done right now. Maybe it is like childbirth and I will forget in a while. If I could go to the doctor right now and have this thing taken out, I would in a hearbeat. This is not at all what I was expecting. All that I read and my research was so positive. I even have friends that have had it done and they talked about how great it is. I hurt to move and I just want to sit and cry.:cry
3/30/2007 OMG! The pain in my arm, shoulder and neck are unbearable. I have to stay tanked up on meds. The pain subsided during the night, but worstened during the day. I also have nausea today. Incision pain is not too pleasant either. I hope it gets better fast. I cannot stand many more days of this.