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This time it's for me!

Where to start? My 1st memory regarding my weight was at age 7. I was chubby, not fat. I slimmed down when I was 10 or so but by age 13 plumped up again. That's when my mom put me on my 1st diet. By age 15 I was going to Weight Watchers and I only weighed 135 lbs. At age 16 my bf said I could lose a few so I started starving myself, literally.   Over the next 10-15 years I would yo-yo but never got above 165 lbs. even when pregnant. But, somehow everyone around me always thought I needed to lose more.   Gradually though, I did gain more and more. This time the weight would stay with me for several years.   Two years ago, I started having pain in my lower back. I ignored it as much as I could but became more sedentary and then the weight really piled on. The more I gained, the less I moved, so the more I gained.   It's been almost 2 years since I grocery shopped, went to the mall, or did anything besides go to the dr. I don't even have a valid driver's liscence anymore. If I didn't have the internet, I would lose my mind.   About 6 months ago I found out that I have 4 bulging discs in my lower back. Now, I can only stand for 1-2 minutes without being in SEVERE pain.   My husband (God love him) does everything, shopping, cooking, you name it.   I did months of physical therapy for my back but no luck. It seems that for me to get to the next level of therapy, I have to get the weight off first. So here I am.   I used to play outside with my grandchildren and I miss that so much.   I spent my whole life feeling like I had to look a certain way to fit in or even be loved. But, now I have a wonderful husband who is so supportive and would do anything for me and loves me no matter what.   I'm scheduled to get sleeved on 6/4/2010. It's not for anyone's approval, or acceptance. It's for my health, my life, my future.
Maddie

Maddie

5
 

Sleep Study

Went for my sleep study last night. It was pretty much what I expected, but I had a lousy night.   I have allergy problems and asthma. We had our carpet torn out yesterday and replaced with laminate flooring. I think there was so much stuff in the air that I breathed in, even though I tried to stay in another part of the house.   I coughed all night long. So, I'm not sure if it will mess up the study of not. It will be next week before I get the results.
Maddie

Maddie

0
 

I'm so mean.

Most of what I have read says you should stop smoking 6 wks. prior to surgery. I failed at several attempts, but I'm finally at day 3 without smoking. They say after 3 days that you are officially a non-smoker, whoever said that is full of s#@t. Physical addiction is only part of it.   My grandchildren came over last night and I was so on edge, that I really had to be careful not to snap at them. I felt like the witch in Hanzel and Gretel, wanting to toss them in the oven and have them for a snack. LOL   Hopefully, this will pass before I go into the hospital.
Maddie

Maddie

3
 

Got the CPAP

I went for my 2nd sleep study and to get fitted for the CPAP. It's not as bad as I thought it would be, but it's no picnic either. When I first heard I would have to get it, I thought I would not really use it. But, the tech explained to me how it works, and how much better folks feel after using it. I figure it's worth a shot, even if it takes some getting used to. The insurance paid all but $300 of it. So, I should at least try to get my $300 worth out of it before tossing it aside. LOL I know after I have a significant weight loss I probably won't need it anymore, but that's a ways off so, here goes. On the other hand we'll see how a feel about it in a few nights.
Maddie

Maddie

3
 

Glad to be done...

My endoscopy went well this morning. I am so glad to be done with all of the testing, poking and prodding.   I get my CPAP tomorrow night. AFter that all I have left to do before surgery is meet with the Nutritionist.   As unpleasant as all of this testing has been, it's a relief to know I'm in pretty decent health. I'm glad I got it all done.
Maddie

Maddie

1
 

Getting close.

I'm still struggling with the CPAP but am putting up with it for now and just hoping I won't need it for long after the surgery.   This is day 3 of liquids. It's not really as bad as I thought it would be. But, I am hungry! It's very hard to get food out of my head but I guess it's normal to obsess on what you can't have.   I don't feel persecuted at all by giving up smoking, food and my beloved dr. pepper. I see it as a path to where I want to be.   Five more days till surgery and I can hardly wait.
Maddie

Maddie

1
 

CPAP,blah.

They got the results of my sleep study much earlier than expected. I have obstructive sleep apnea. I have another sleep study scheduled now for 5/23 so I can get the lovely CPAP.
Maddie

Maddie

3
 

1 more to go

I had a really bad experience with the cardiologist I was referred to. But, I was very lucky and found another cardiologist with whom I met yesterday. I got the phone call just a few minutes ago, saying my stress test was normal. I am so relieved. So, now there is one more test to go. I will have the endoscopy at 8:30 in the morning. It will be nice when all of the testing is behind me. Not being in the best of health has made it nerve wracking. As it stands now, I will get sleeved on June 4th, only 2 weeks from today. I am so excited.
Maddie

Maddie

1
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