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A blog by deedee

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2 months post-op

Today is my two month surgiversary. As of this morning I am 186 pounds; down 52 pounds from the beginning of my pre-op diet (July 7), and 36 pounds since the morning of surgery (August 4). I have been at the same weight (+-2 lbs) for 4 days now.   I am really hoping to make my second weight goal of 184 lbs, by my 30th birthday, which is on October 12. I made this my second goal because it was the lowest weight I have ever been as an adult (my first goal was 199 lbs).   I had my 2 month follow-up visit with my surgeon two days ago. He seemed very happy with my progress and he cleared me for solid foods. He wanted me to get my labs done before this visit, but my vacation did not allow time for that. I'm going in on Friday and he will call to go over them once he's received them.   Overall, I think I am doing very well. I'm still learning to adjust to my sleeve--eating slower, recognizing when I'm full. I'm also noticing that I MUST continue to plan out my food in order to make the best decisions. Last week was my first week back at work (although I'm subbing until the 15th when I take over my classroom again) and I didn't do the greatest with my eating. But thanks to this tool I know I will get back on track and continue to lose.   I am so happy that I had this surgery!!!
deedee

deedee

1
 

Two Victories

This morning when I weighed myself I was at 187.5. This means I am down 50.5 pounds since beginning my pre-op diet in July AND officially am at my halfway mark. I have 49.5 pounds left to go to meet my goal.   Over this past weekend, I did some shopping and fit into many size 14 pants, bought a size 12 dress, and a medium sweater. I went to Chico's and bought size 2 pants (the lady told me that is a normal size 12/14) and a size 1 (normal size 8/10) blazer that sort of fit, but I wouldn't spend that kind of money if it wasn't going to last for a while, so I bought it snug. Now obviously these must be brands that run pretty large, but it still made me feel really happy seeing that just 3 months ago I was wearing sizes 22/24 and couldn't shop in normal sections of stores.
deedee

deedee

1
 

Learning to live

I flew across the country at about 5.5 weeks out of surgery. I was still on soft/mushy food and was pretty nervous about both the flight (5 hours direct) and the 11 days I was to spend with my grandmother, family, and friends. Well...I'm now back home almost 7.5 weeks out and down an additional 5 lbs.   I wasn't perfect in my eating--ate too fast many times (definitely felt it), ate more carbs than I had been, and missed my protein goal some days--but I feel like a complete success! I feel this trip was the beginning of my new life (I know it's sort of corny). It helped me realize that although I must plan ahead when it comes to food and exercise, I do not need to be obsessed about it like I had been in the pre-op and direct post-op period. I now understand that the last couple of months I have been making real lifestyle changes, not just dieting, and those changes were evident on my trip based on the decent food choices I made and fun I had incorporating exercise.   Another interesting food related thing to happen was when I went to a favorite chain restaurant with friends, I discovered that without being able to scarf down food with liquid, it really wasn't that good. I am now a lot more conscious about how the food tastes seeing that I only get a few bites before being full.   Overall, I learning to live with this wonderful tool and finding that I love it!
deedee

deedee

1
 

Leaving tomorrow, getting nervous

Tomorrow I'm heading home (WA State) for 11 days. It's been two years since my last visit and have planned to be there over two weekends so that I had time to spend with old friends (who will mostly be working during the week). The more I talk with friends the more concerned and nervous I become about the whole eating thing. Fortunately my husband and I have eaten out quite a bit since surgery, so I am really good about finding nutritious, soft/mushy food (soup, eggs, grilled or broiled seafood), but I started studying the menus and nutrition values at restaurants I knew we frequented while I was pre-op.   I will be staying at my grandmother's house, so I plan to head to the grocery store the morning after I get in since tomorrow night I have a friend picking me up from the airport and we're going straight to a barbeque. I think I'll buy some yogurt--I get the diabetic friendly kind--eggs whites, veggie cheese, turkey sausage, chicken breasts, and lactaid milk. I'm going to pack some protein powder to take with me since the only ones I can tolerate are only available by ordering...I think.   Another big concern is helping my friends understand what I can and cannot eat. Although they all know about my surgery, I told everyone in my life (and some who weren't) when I first started looking into it, since they are so far away, I haven't really educated them on the ins and outs of my day to day eating.   I have one friend that wants to treat me to lunch next week (she's a little depressed because all of her kids are now school aged for the first time). I'm thinking of suggesting visiting some places around town that we used to hang out and ride our bikes to when we were kids. Another two friends want to go to the big fair and in the past the fair has always been a place for me to overindulge in bad foods. She is much more health conscious and although she mentioned wanting to get a scone I know the trip will be more about checking out the booths and stuff. So I should be fine if I can fight the head hunger. I'm thinking about picking ONE treat that I can have and take a few bites.   As for packing, I'm really confused on what to bring. Money has been a bit tight since I'm still not really working much and have about a month more off. I've budgeted out a certain amount and don't plan to go over. So normally I would use any vacation as a chance to add to my wardrobe (when I was a size 16 or below, larger than that and shopping was just not appealing), this time I really need to bring enough to get me by.   I know all of these things will work out, but I'm just having last minute worries. I've been pretty fortunate since surgery in that I've been in a pretty controlled environment most days and able to plan ahead for the most part. With this trip, I kind of feel that I am now officially on training wheels.
deedee

deedee

1
 

5 weeks out...food issues (just cranky)

It started Saturday after my first Jazzercise class. We went to Bob Evans (a breakfast like restaurant) I got eggs whites with sausage bits and cheese in them, and actually felt anger that I could only eat a few bites.   The anger got somewhat worse over the weekend as I was throwing away leftovers from my fridge (both doggy bags and home cooked) from the past week. I have a couple of weight loss surgery cookbooks that I just love, but even when I halve the recipes it makes way too much to finish in a few days, and therefore I have to throw food away. My husband and I eat out 3-4 times per week, but since I'm on soft/mushy foods, I still have to order my own meal (soup, crab, fish, etc.) and then just let it go bad in the fridge as there is no way I can finish it.   I tend not to be one to anger easily, but I'm also not one to hold emotions in, so yesterday when I got home from visiting friends and had to throw out food from Friday and Saturday, I lost it. I don't yell, but I just couldn't get myself out of this anger funk. My husband was trying to help by saying things will get better and although I didn't want to hear it at the time, I know he's right. Each week has been better than the last with learning my new stomach and getting in liquid, protein, and vitamins.   I'm still learning my new stomach and how to eat and plan meals. My nutritionist says that I should be eating 2 oz. of protein at a time, but I find that I'm lucky to get in 1-1.5 oz if it's something like chicken or salmon. Usually pushing myself to get the 1.5 oz makes me feel stuffed and uncomfortable. She really stresses only eating 3 meals a day with two protein shakes for snacks, but I think I'm going to have to deviate from her plans because I'm only averaging 450 calories a day (but that's usually with just one protein shake) and really want to get more protein from foods throughout the day. I'm going to call her today to discuss.   As I said to my husband last night, I am so very happy that I took this step and had this surgery and feel so fortunate that we could afford it. I think this is one of the best things I could have done for myself (right up there with earning my degrees). I'm blessed and in no way wish that could reverse the last couple of months. It's just that each day/week I seem to discover another food issue (mostly mental). I guess that's why I'm in therapy:-) One day I hope to be able to say that I'm over my food obsession and I don't even think about it, I just "eat to live." But I'm not there yet, I'm still working through the fact that food brought me so much joy and comfort and I'm missing that somewhat.
deedee

deedee

3
 

1 Month Out

Yesterday I had my 1 month post-op appointment with the surgeon and weighed 201. This morning I weighed myself at home and it read 201. I finally lost a pound after 13 days of bouncing between 202-203.5.   The doctor was very pleased about the total loss, 37 lbs since pre-op diet and 21 lbs since surgery. He did lecture a little, as well as the nurse, when I confessed to not doing great with my liquid intake this week and now I'm constipated again. He wants me to stay on soft/mushy foods for another month. I'm okay with that, but I am getting a little tired of seafood (never thought I'd say that).   He also cleared me for full exercise, which is great since my dance classes start next week. I am going to go to jazzercise tomorrow morning and do everything at a low level. I haven't been in about 14 months and am expecting a bit of a hard time, but I can't let that stop me.   I took my measurements today and so far have dropped 3" in my waist, 3" in my hips, and 3" in my bust. I took pictures today and although they don't show a whole lot of difference, I notice some change in my hips.   Overall, I am very happy with my results and the process so far. Every day is still a learning experience with eating, drinking, and protein, but as I reflect back I see just how much I've learned over the last month about my new stomach and way of life.
deedee

deedee

1
 

Over one big hurdle

My week of constipation has finally come to an end. I started taking Miralax (Monday or Tuesday?) and have really worked hard at upping my water intake and protein. I'm not sure what actually did it, maybe my body just decided that 7 days was plenty long. I don't really care, just super excited that it has ended. Now if only my body would decide it was time for the scale to start moving down again, but I know that will happen in it's own good time as well. I was actually a lot more anxious regarding the constipation than not losing weight...but now that I seem to be over that, I'll probably start fixating on the scale:-)
deedee

deedee

1
 

The scale moving in the right direction again

I KNOW that during my period I gain anywhere from 4-8 pounds, but that did not stop me from weighing myself. It was hard to see at first when I jumped up 2.5 lbs from one day to the next, but it was a good motivator to not comfort myself with bad foods. It made me more determined to follow the plan...I took in more protein than I ever have since surgery (still not the surgeon's goal, but better).   Today, I was back down and even took off another 1.5 lbs. I now weigh 202. My first major goal was to be 199 lbs by October 12, my 30th birthday. I'm only 3 lbs away now. I'm thinking if I really work hard, I can be there by next Friday. But even if it takes longer, that's okay...the scale is again moving in the right direction. Next Tuesday marks 3 weeks post-op and I've read a lot about a stall at that point, so that's why I won't get too excited about getting out of the 200's soon, but I know it will happen one day.   I'm just getting very excited!
deedee

deedee

1
 

PMS-cramping, irritability (TMI)

The good news is I think I'm getting back to a normal cycle. My last period started on July 15, and this one started today, August 19. Over the last year my cycles have ranged from 55-90 days (except for the 2 months after a myomectomy where I had two 34 day cycles in a row).   Now for the not so good news. Since I was 11, I've always had really horrible cramps leading up to my periods. I have found a combination of otc pain relievers (sometimes prescribed stuff depending on my doc) to use throughout the days leading up to my periods and the beginnings. Since I am just 2 weeks out of surgery, I decided I would not take anything and see how it went. Well the last two days have not gone well at all.   I usually also have really runny bowel movements during this time. Since going on mushy foods I have only been having a bowel movement every other day, so maybe I just had a lot built up, but yesterday as I was driving to meet friends, my stomach cramped so bad I was actually screaming in the car. I drove to one of their houses and ran straight into her bathroom. As I was going, I felt so chilled and began to perspire horribly on my face and arms. When I was through I sat on her couch with a heating pad and started to feel better. After about 30 minutes the cramps had subsided.   Now similar things have happened to me in the past, but I think pain relievers have helped me from feeling all of this at once. I usually try and stay in front of the pain. The temperature change and sweating usually cannot be controlled, but happen so rarely.   As for the other symptoms, on Monday I began to realize I was really getting annoyed by many people (that's how I guessed I was getting back to a normal cycle). I mean really annoyed and that's just not like me, I teach middle school! I'm doing pretty well not responding or being rude, but inside I feel just constantly annoyed by most people I come in contact. Intellectually I know they are not doing anything deliberate, but I just can't seem to help my feelings.   All of these things have helped remind me what an emotional eater I was. With yesterday's pain, in the past I would have "rewarded" myself with some fattening, greasy, salty food for "making it through." But because of the sleeve and all I've worked towards, that thought didn't even cross my mind until I reflected this morning. Again, in the past I would have "treated" myself to some sweet treat to help my feelings of annoyance with others, but I have no interest now.   I guess I just feel grateful for having this tool. Not only is it helping me get physically healthier (and more regular:-), it is also helping me slow down and take a good hard look at the causes of my emotional eating.
deedee

deedee

2
 

A couple non-scale victories!

Today, for the first time in a long, long while, my husband complimented a part of my body besides my smile:-) I was walking down the stairs as he was about to leave and he said my arms were looking smaller! Yay!   My shoes are getting baggy. I wear flip flops all summer. Last Friday when I put a pair on there seemed to be more space. A couple days later a different pair fit similarly, but yesterday I wore my running shoes to go walking for the first time in about two weeks and they were so lose. I wouldn't say that I have lost a half or whole size (like I've read can happen when you lose weight), but I'm definitely losing fat from my feet.
deedee

deedee

2
 

First Post-op Appointment

Well, today I had my first post-op appointment. Each day I have been feeling so much better and the pain less. I did have to report that I am only getting in about 20 oz of liquids a day. The good news is I am not dehydrated, but I told them that yesterday was the first day I started to have dry mouth...so thinking that maybe I was headed that way. Ironically, today was the first day I could sip water without any kind of discomfort, so I was able to get around 50 oz. I have also not been able to get in protein supplements (5-10 grams per day). I purchased an ice cream maker on my way to the doctor's and plan on trying some protein ice cream to help with this.   Today I weighed in exactly 30 lbs less than I did on my initial consultation day on June 24. On August 4 (surgery day) I weighed 222 and today I weighed 208. Now that I'm cleared to go to soft/mushie foods, I understand from what I've read I might gain some or not lose any for a while. But it sure has been nice seeing the scale drop everyday this week.   Walking has been going well. Today I did about 1.75 miles in about 33 minutes, but before I had been doing 1-1.25 miles in 20-30 minutes. I just seemed to have so much more energy after I was able to get in protein from some pureed chicken.
deedee

deedee

1
 

I'm Sleeved!

It turned out to be a little more of an operation than originally planned. The surgeon told me that he found a hiatal hernia and had to deal with that as well. I'm still a little confused about exactly that was/is, but we will discuss it more at my first post-op next week.   Yesterday was my first day home and I sort of took a turn for the worse. In the hospital I was up walking and talking to everyone, very happy and feeling great. Late in the morning they took me down for an upper GI, and I ended up puking and getting the shakes from the stuff they had me swallow before the barium. I was never able to do the barium because I was shaking and chattering too bad.   Once back in my room, I started to feel a little better, but not as good as the night and morning before. I got the news that based on the pictures they were able to take, everything looked fine for me to begin clear liquids.   Around 3:30 PM all the IV fluid was through me, I'd spoken with my surgeon, the hospital dietitian, and many others, and the nurse was ready to go over my discharge paperwork.   This morning I definitely felt better than last night. Last evening I barely finished a 15 minute walk on the boardwalk. Today, I easily did 30. I'm still not getting much in myself and really need to work on that.   Other than that, I'm trying to take my pain meds on schedule. I have an OnQ pump for pain relief support that I'll have to remove on Sunday afternoon. I started my vitamins today and think that might have helped me feel better.
deedee

deedee

1
 

Tomorrow is the big day:-)

This time tomorrow I will be sleeved! I am excited, but starting to get really nervous.   Today has been kind of tough, it's the second day of my clear liquid diet. My husband heated up something in the microwave for lunch and it smelled sooooo good. I asked him to go out for dinner and not bring it home:-)   Right now I'm re-reading about all of the possible complications that may occur, but I keep telling myself that I just have one more day and all will be fine. I'm hoping and praying that everything goes well.   On a positive note (sort of), I resigned from my job last week and don't have a new one lined up to begin until October. Financially this will be a little tough, but this should give me plenty of time to recover and try to work this sleeve to the best of my ability when it comes to food and exercise.   Next time I post, I should be on my way to a healthier me.
deedee

deedee

2
 

I can do this!

Okay, I think I can do this! I freaked out a little about lowering my carbs and upping my protein for my pre-op diet. Although I've been on and off of diets for 20 years, I have never tried a high protein diet because of my addiction to potatoes.   The first week of trying, I was visiting family in another state. I had a mini-meltdown when I discovered I really did not know much about carbs in the foods I ate. I decided that I did know that I could eat meat, cheese, lettuce, and eggs. So I decided I could really focus on protein for breakfast and lunch with no or very little carbs and then not stress about dinners. I thought it was at least a start.   Upon my return home, I had another meltdown. I was exhausted from the 13 hour drive the day before and just wanted something to eat. I had a protein bar for breakfast and one for lunch, but realized I would need to go grocery shopping. To tide me over I decided to have a yogurt and as I was eating it, read the back and realized how many carbs it contained. That's when I lost it. I felt that I did not have any idea what I was doing and that maybe this surgery wasn't going to work for me.   Thankfully my husband was home and decided we needed to take a field trip (I'm a teacher, so he talked to me in my terms :-). I protested feeling that I needed to read the two South Beach diet books I had picked up and make a plan before heading to the store. He basically said that this wasn't that difficult and I could do it; I'd been talking daily about surgery for the last three months and reading like crazy. (A little background: my husband exercises at the gym 7 days a week and eats pretty healthy all the time, but never really knew how many carbs certain foods contained...he just makes sure to eat a balanced diet and stays away from potatoes.)   We got to the store and started going through the isles reading labels and putting together foods I liked that could be for breakfast and lunch and snacks. This went really well and I was surprised at how many things we found.   This all happened Wednesday, and I can say that each day I grow more confident that I am making the changes I need to to live a healthier life. I've also discovered that I enjoy cooking. We did go out on Friday and I was very pleased that I didn't crave fries. I had a salad without dressing and a chicken burger without the bun. On Saturday, we went to a baseball game and stopped by Subway (one of my favorite fast food places) and got a spinach salad with chicken and a cup of dressing on the side and didn't even use 1/4 of it.   Tomorrow I meet with the nutritionist, so we'll see what other changes I need to make, but I feel good right now and think I can do this.
deedee

deedee

1
 

Almost...

The last couple of weeks have been super busy. I am a self-paying patient and spent about 1 week trying to get information regarding what the hospital price would/would not cover. Since I purchased a separate insurance policy for complications, I really wanted the hospital to be specific for what their fee covered...you'd think I was asking them to write a dissertation or something. It took a visit and many, many phone calls, but eventually it all worked out.   Another surprising thing that happened was my diagnosis of mild sleep apnea. The sleep studies were horrible experiences and I was so sure after the first one (as was the tech) that although I had a few episodes when sleeping on my back, I would not need the mask (CPAP I think). To my surprise I was called a couple days later and informed that I did have mild sleep apnea and once the patterns had been analyzed there were enough instances of not breathing per hour and for so many seconds that it warranted the mask. My surgeon (or hospital) requires that I use the mask for at least 2 weeks prior to surgery and bring it to the hospital so they can put me on it during recovery from anesthesia. So, I'm trying to use the mask each night for at least a couple of hours.   As for other pre-op stuff, I had my labs done, an ekg, chest xray, and an upper GI test. I had my pre-op with the surgeon a couple of days ago and everything looked great except I was low on vitamin D (18 is what he said, need to look up what that means). I also met with the nutritionist for my last visit before surgery and think I'm ready (in that I know what I can have) as far as the liquid phase goes right after surgery. Luckily I'll meet with her and the doctor each time I progress from one phase to the next on foods.   Now, I'm getting nervous about possible complications and trying to find a new focus to help the next week or so fly by.
deedee

deedee

0
 

Protein

Yay! I'm getting very close to my surgery date now. Tomorrow I will begin 2 days of a clear liquid diet and have surgery on Tuesday.   Over the last couple of weeks I've been trying different protein powders from the list my nutritionist provided and suggestions I've read here and elsewhere.   I found one last week that I could tolerate a little (Syntrax Matrix Orange Cream) and ordered a tub and got the vanilla tub as well. Like I said, I could tolerate it if I sipped it very slowly, but I kept looking.   Well, I just got some samples of Chike protein and I LOVE the orange one mixed with milk. From what I've read it is supposed to be used as a meal replacement because it's higher in calories (especially after the milk I add), but I'm hoping that I like it just as much after surgery. I'm thinking I can use it for a meal and then use another one (lower calories) for supplement purposes. I should be receiving Nectar samples soon and still have some Unjury samples (didn't like much) that I can try after surgery.   On the other hand, my husband tried the chocolate Chike (I don't like chocolate unless it's a Baby Ruth:-) and said it was okay, but he likes his current one better--I thought I was the picky one. He has been a gym rat since about 9th grade and has used protein supplementation for many, many years. He did say if he had to switch to that one, he wouldn't mind, but his is much cheaper and can be purchased at the local store, so I don't think so. Just goes to show how this is such a personal taste thing for everyone.   Well, I've got to help my friend prepare for her 2 year old's birthday party and get ready to eat my last real meal pre-op. I still plan on following the low carb thing today--I've done pretty well with it and have lost 17 lbs (not quite the 10% they wanted, but my surgeon was still happy and applauded my effort).
deedee

deedee

0
 

First Stall

Well, I'm now on day 5 of fluctuating between 202 and 202.5 lbs. I was sort of prepared for a stall, but it really does get old. I'm just trying to get in more protein and calories (I'm almost up to about 500-550 calories per day). I've started forcing myself to drink 1 protein shake a day and am getting in about 45 grams of protein per day. I'm also walking around 2 miles per day, but the last couple of walks have really taken a lot out of me, I was so tired and had to really slow down the second half of the walk.   I called the surgeon's office today and spoke with the nurse (surgeon's on vacation) because this is also day 5 of not having a bowel movement. Her first question was about my liquid intake. I know that yesterday I got in 70 oz of water, but before probably only around 50-60 oz. She told me to take Miralax, although I did take it yesterday and today. I'm going to call back in two days if nothing has moved. I'm not in any kind of pain and just started feeling a little bloated today.   So basically to get through this stall (and constipation) I'm just going to work very hard at following the program by upping my protein intake, my water intake, and walking further. I'm also going to try to start changing up and increasing my calories because I'm starting to get a little bored with my food decisions.
deedee

deedee

0
 

Each day gets better

I'm not sure if I'm still stalling with my weight because I have not weighed myself in two days. I will say that if I am, my weight must be shifting because I wore a skirt today that I couldn't zip at the beginning of my stall.   I'm still learning how to eat in different situations. Yesterday I went to brunch and had scrambled eggs with cheese. It didn't go down very well, felt kind of stuck, but I kept taking bites and tried to chew better. I only ate about 4 bites but I felt overly stuffed for a couple of hours. I got the hiccups sort of (this has been happening when I eat too much), but felt better later in the day after I took a walk.   Today I sort of returned to work. I am a teacher, but will not start this year until mid October because I am taking over for another teacher who will leave and not return once she has her baby. I'm going back to my old job and school, so I went in today for their first work day back. It was great to see everyone and I got a couple of compliments. There is another teacher whose mother passed away yesterday so I will be going in this week to set up her classroom and do what I can for her.   Well, not much else happening right now. I'm just glad that I'm finding other things to focus on besides the scale. I was almost about to get depressed over the stall and then I remembered some fitness goals I wanted to accomplish and decided to start on those. I signed up for a two hour per week tap and jazz class that begins Sept. 10. I'm hoping my surgeon will release me for full exercise when I see him this week so I can start back to Jazzercise (haven't been in well over a year), it's been four weeks and I think I'm ready as long as I don't push myself too hard.
deedee

deedee

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Blood Results

I picked up my blood results today from my PCP's office. I'll be meeting with surgeon next week, so I'll be able to get his interpretation then. My PCP yesterday afternoon briefly stated that I was pretty much normal. I really like how the print out highlighted the areas that fell out of the normal range.   RDW-15.5 % (normal is 11-15 %) high
LDL Cholesterol-130 (normal 0-99) high, but all other cholesterol levels are normal including total cholesterol
Iron (TIBC)-244 (normal is 250-450) low
Vitamin B12-1679 (normal is 211-911) high
Vitamin D-111 (normal is 32-100) high
My pre-op blood work taken at the end of July found that I was low on vitamin D (18) and they had me supplement with 10,000 IUI per day. I'm going to cut back to 5,000 IUI per day until I meet with the surgeon.   They also told me before surgery to supplement with B12 and I think I will just do it 3 days per week now unless the doctor tells me something different.   My iron has been low or borderline low since about high school, but before surgery it was okay enough to not have to supplement (that might have to change now, I'll have to wait and see).   I was told by the nutritionist before surgery to supplement with calcium, but I've been very inconsistent (not at all in the last 3 weeks), but my levels here are normal.   My protein levels are normal.   I can't wait until next week when I can sit down and have the surgeon/nutritionist give me feedback on what I need to be doing.
deedee

deedee

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I'm on my way...

I had my consultation today (2nd surgeon) and have a surgery date scheduled for August 4. I'm supposed to immediately begin eating high protein, low carbohydrate foods/meals. I'm glad about this because the thing I am most nervous about is learning how to eat differently. I'll meet with the nutritionist on July 6, but I'm going to try to do my best up until that point.   As I reviewed the paperwork from the doctor's office this afternoon, it really started to hit me that this new chapter of my life is really going to begin soon. I'm very excited and a bit nervous. I started therapy about a month ago to begin discussing some of my issues with food and I hope that the transition I'm about to make won't be as tough with the right supports in place.
deedee

deedee

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