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A blog by AJW

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Body image changes after WLS

My surgery was 8/10/09. I lost 26 pounds on Medifast before surgery (from end of May 09 to Aug. 10th) and weighed 220 on surgery date. It took approx.9 mos. to get to 135, then I kept losing from May 2010 to current date down to 125, then 120, then 118, then 116. I was at 113 when I got a stomach bug, but gained back 3 pounds. This is where I hover. I hit stalls along the way, too, but the loss continued. Now, as I say, I have to remember to eat to maintain and not lose more. I could easily slip down to 112 or 110 if I'm not careful. People who are normal size but heavier than you, and some who are obese, will tell you that you're TOO THIN. Remember that their POV is skewed to the heavier side and your POV will be "I'm not thin enough." I saw myself as FAT when I was FAT. There was no denying I was fat; I had trouble looking in the mirror at all. Now I'm thin, no denying that, but I like looking in the mirror. I look sometimes and think "you're too thin" as my face looks gaunt (hey, I'm 61, so the weight came off differently now than it would when I was 31) so yes, I've lost the "pad" in my face. That can be fixtured with plastic surgery and I'll get to that once we get moved and settled in our new home coming up. With surgery, I'd look put back together and more in my late 40s because I basically have good skin. This is a process of transformation and nobody's process will be the same. Go for what you want and what makes you happy. If you get a little thin, you can always gain some back if you eat all the time (every 2 hours), and supplement with some high calorie foods. I like this weight and prefer to just fix the cosmetic things I can. I can dress in high fashion (couture) sizing which is NOT vanity sized by any means, wear skinny jeans, high heels, rocker chic, etc., in other words, I can dress any way I want to within reason, and still look THIN with clothes on, in the mirror, in photos. My normal sized friends are very jealous, and that's fine with me. My heavy friends think I'm anorexic; that's fine too. It's my process and I have the clothes, shoes and bags to prove it.       Source: Body image changes after WLS
AJW

AJW

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Happy Halloween to everyone

Don't let the candy grab you. Too much sugar has a bad reaction on the system, ask me how I know. Yes, I've indulged in the Halloween candy I bought a month ago and had to stash under the stairs closet so as to keep it out of my mind. Eating too much sugar has an unfortunate side-effect on me: I get the sugar rush X 7 and it's not pleasant. I think it also spills into the intestines too quickly and just makes you feel like crap and all you can do is lay there and moan (and not in a good way ) so best to avoid altogether. Other than this good suggestion, enjoy the holiday! Next up: Thanksgiving, another foodie holiday. I don't care that much about food anymore, so I don't feel challenged by big food holidays. Sometimes wish I could enjoy it the way I used to, BUT that's how I got fat so it's a good thing that I'm not loving it the same way. I used to buy the pumpkin and cherry pies for Thanksgiving, and then keep buying the pies way after the actual holiday was over. Yep, I'd keep eating pie through Christmas, and then add holiday cookies and you name it. Instant 10-12 pounds from the holidays. After I'd eventually quit (when the stores stopped selling so many holiday sweets) unfortunately the weight was glued to me and didn't want to leave. That's basically how I got out of control and had to resort to desperate measures to get all the holidays off my body. Now I'm weighing in at 118.6 pounds and I'm 5'-7.5" tall so that's a skinny bitch here.
AJW

AJW

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I'm there

:thumbup: I'm now weighing 120-122, depending on the day. I look much thinner than the photo on this blog. I don't have any new photos at the moment, and frankly I look a tad skinny. Lost fat in my face and at my age, it looks a bit gaunt. I'm not complaining, just telling it like it is. My BMI is 18.9 or something which is below normal weight. I wear a size 24-26 jeans and leggings, and lost my butt. I've been going to physical therapy to help regain muscle mass in my glutes which atrophied from no exercise during the weight loss, that and probably I wasn't getting in enough protein, but mostly I think it was the no exercise part that did me in. I started having pain in my hip flexors, and the therapist said I was overworking these muscles which weren't large enough to support my frame. We work on rebuilding them, and I do my little work out every day now. Just be aware, there are some side-effects to losing a vast amount of weight; be sure you don't lose your ass with it, kwim?! I'm doing a lot better now than I was about 5 mos. ago when the pain started. Anyway, that's my story. I continue to lose a pound here and there, but am basically maintaining now. Hope you are all doing well on your journeys.:biggrin0:
AJW

AJW

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Dec. 8th - checking in

Well crap, I was down two pounds less last week and have gained two pounds doing nothing different. Don't know why; my body likes to screw with my head. However, my size 12 jeans arrived today and they fit like a glove. By the end of Dec. I so want to be at 170 pounds as I'm going on a cruise. When I hit 179 I thought OH YEAH, I'll get there. Now I'm back to 181! I broke down and took a diuretic today. I know that's a sin against weightloss kind but I'm tired of holding onto the water! I'll be down tomorrow and then watch it creep back up as the fluid is replaced. Oh well, screw it. Doing the best I can and am thankful that I'm in my size 12 pants anyway. Hope things go back to my normal down .2 to .4 a day routine pretty soon.:001_tongue:
AJW

AJW

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Happy Thanksgiving Ya'll

Glad we survived Thanksgiving. I went out to dinner with friends on TG and fortunately, I didn't find the food all that appealing so didn't overeat. We were also on a trip for the whole 4 days. I could feel myself retaining fluid so to me I looked like I was gaining weight from eating out in restaurants every meal. But weighed in this morning and had actually lost .2 from the day we left, so happy about that. Going on cruise at the end of the month and am worried about how that's going to affect me. I always hover weight-wise when I travel and don't lose like I do at home. I'm only 3.5 months out, though, so weight is still coming off. Had my labs done and everything looks GREAT; glad to hear that news.:001_tongue:
AJW

AJW

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Down 60 pounds today

I'm officially half-way to my goal weight. I started this journey on May 26, 2009, at 246 pounds. Here we are Nov. 2nd and I'm down to 186. That's amazing for me. The thing about food is that I don't crave any of it. That's good and that's not good: social dinners out are taxing for me. I can't eat very much at all, so by the time nutrition goes in, I'm done. Everyone else is still eating AND drinking their wine - something I miss. My husband and I did a wine tasting trip a couple of weekends ago and the first night out, I basically drank dinner because I didn't like the fish I ordered. Not a good habit to get into. The next night I ate and didn't drink with food. When I go on these little trips I notice that my weight stalls while gone even though I stick very close to the way I eat at home. IDK why it happens. I've got a trip coming up over Thanksgiving where we are going out of state to visit friends. We'll be out at a restaurant on Thanksgiving, so you know I won't be able to eat much at all. My friends know about my surgery so no surprises there. The next day though we're leaving to go further north in the state to visit another city and we're taking my brother and sister-in-laws with us. They do not know about the surgery, so I'll just have to use my "I'm on a major diet" excuse on why I'm not eating much. Oh well. At the end of the year we're going on a 15 day cruise, and that I'm worried about. Not that anyone will know about me - don't care about that - but that my weight will stall and I won't lose anything while gone. I can't eat much, but still eating the wrong things is just as bad, so I'm hoping I can stick to my schedule as best as I can without my diet food with me. I'm stressing over it, though. :ohmy:
AJW

AJW

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Down 51 pounds and doing well

Wow, I didn't realize, but it's been 2 months today since sleeve surgery. Time flies. I'm down 25 pounds since surgery and 51 total from where I started. I'm now back in my size 16 pants instead of the 1X, so that feels good. Another 10 pounds off and should be in size 14, then 12 then 10 and then whatever. It takes time. We recently took a business trip to Washington DC (we live in Calif.) and ate all meals in restaurants. It was really hard for me to eat. You really start to notice the huge amounts of food that restaurants put on the plate. I'd take a few bites of a steak and was done. Luckily the people I was with know about my surgery and understand. I couldn't do my regular routine of protein shakes, bars, etc., so it threw my whole food thing off balance. I came home and weighed to see only a 1/2 pound loss in 3 days. Crap! That's what eating out did for me. I was losing 1/4 to 1/2 every day before the trip. Now getting readjusted. Last night our neighbors hosted a wedding for a friend of their daughters and had the DJ and music blaring until midnight. It sounded like they were in our house, that's how loud it was. I think the stress of that situation caused me to show a slight gain this morning. That's what stress does to you, so best to let it all roll off the back if you can do it. Going on a cruise at the end of the year and am hoping I can get down sufficiently to buy formal wear to wear on formal nights. I have 70 pounds more to lose, so am praying to have lost 20 of that by 12/31/09; we'll see.:cursing:
AJW

AJW

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ONEderland has arrived!!

Weighed in at 198.8 today. That's 21.2 pounds down since my August 10th surgery, and 50 pounds down total inc. pre-op diet.:cursing: Very happy with my decision to get the sleeve; hope everyone else is doing well too. Dr. Aceves is awesome!! When I get to goal or close to goal, I'll be going back for the inevitable nip/tuck.
AJW

AJW

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August 27, 2009, Day 17 Post-op

For the last 4 days my weight has not budged. I went up 1.2 pounds on Aug. 23rd and have stayed there until today when I dropped .4 pounds. I chalked this up to a monthly hormonal swing. I don't have periods any more but ovaries are still doing the monthly cha-cha even though I'm menopausal. Go figure! In any case that's what I figure this up/down thing has been about. It's funny you drop water before your period, but afterward it comes out in drips. Whatever. Hopefully I'll see more drops gone by tomorrow. I'm still on full liquids and sticking to my protein shakes - getting very tired of those - and fluids. Have cream soups for dinner and they do fill you up FAST. About 5 minutes of soup and I'm done. I'm on a mission to lose 30 pounds in 30 days (it's quite doable) but so far it's still 12 pounds off in 17 days . Hope I catch up.:cursing:
AJW

AJW

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8-20-09 - Grouchy Mama!

IDK what's going on but I've been in the foulest mood since returning from Mexico, or about 4 days post-op. I've heard lots of different opinions from I'm pissy because I can't eat to I'm pissy because I miss food upon which the poster implied I must have been totally dependent. Well, guess what? I think it's hormones gone wild. The weight has been coming off very quickly and there is a theory that estrogen and what all is held in fat tissue. Once the fat tissue is flushed out, the hormones remain and it takes awhile for them to get balanced again. I think that sums it up. Others have declared they've experienced the same thing for varying time periods. Today (8/21) seems better than yesterday when I wanted to kill everyone. IDK if this will hold or if tomorrow I'll be back to plotting their demise, so guess I'll just have to play it by ear and put away all sharp objects for the my sake and the safety of others!:tongue_smilie:
AJW

AJW

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Have hit my ultimate goal.....for now.

Hi everyone, I lost another pound and am now sitting at exactly 125, which was my original goal. I changed my goal to 135 because everyone said 125 would be too thin and frankly, I wasn't sure it was achievable. Guess I was wrong. I do look a tad thin with bones showing on the chest and back. I sort of have a pin thin look, but have actually weighed as little as 103 when I was in my 20s, 40 years ago. I looked too thin then, for sure. Now people that I haven't seen in awhile look at me and say "you're wasting away to nothing." Not sure if that's a backhanded compliment or not? I think you can tend to go to the anorexic side if not careful. For those of you who still have some to lose you'll probably be asking, "And the problem is.........??" But it can get to be a problem if not watched. You'll still think "I could lose a couple more pounds" but everyone else will think "Auschwitz survivor," kwim? Oh well, just my musings on a Wed. morning weigh-in.
AJW

AJW

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Home after sleeve surgery - my big adventure!

Hi all, Well they let me go yesterday instead of waiting until today. That's the good news. I feel "ok" but mostly gassy from moment to moment and a bit of diarrha (green to boot), sorry I know TMI, but had to share. The surgery itself went smooth. I'm sore, I'm bloated, my stomach looks like I'm ready to deliver a bowling ball and someone tried to punch it out of me. Feel a bit weak from surgery, I'm sure. My tongue is coated with some white yucky stuff (what's that about?) I bought Isopure beforehand so I could start right in with the protein. Tastes like flavored dishwater to me. Hope that gets better cuz I bought like 10 of those stupid things. Mexicali was hotter than hell (113 degrees yesterday the day I left.) Dr. Aceves was in and out a bunch. He drinks Coke - all day long - I asked him about that, but he said he doesn't have a sleeve so he can do that! Dr. Campos is getting skinny. Sergio was a love. I asked for Lidocaine before IV insertion; they poo-poo'd me and stuck it in anyway and it hurt like a SOB, and I let that doctor know I was NOT happy about that, GD it!! They gave me a Morphine spinal - I was rolled into a ball and that's all I remember as I was out after that. Woke up OK in recovery. Had a drain which they left in for 3 days and looked like a 3 foot snake when they pulled it out. Fun stuff. My husband was amazed they could get that much in there! I feel weak, dragging around, somewhat envious that DH can eat and I cannot eat anything. Enough trouble trying to drink. Water and all liquids are a little tough going down. Tea is best cuz it's warm and feels good. I tried to eat that chicken broth in the hospital, but the smell and taste of it gagged me. Everyone is different. So this is day 4 for me as well, and hope it gets better fast cause I feel like a major pune. Oh, BTW, I did not have to remove any nail polish or nails. Yay for that!
AJW

AJW

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My VSG on August 10, 2009 w/Dr. Aceves - time for new me!

Dated: August 13, 2009: Hi all, Well they let me go yesterday instead of waiting until today. That's the good news. I feel "ok" but mostly gassy from moment to moment and a bit of diarrha (green to boot), sorry I know TMI, but had to share. The surgery itself went smooth. I'm sore, I'm bloated, my stomach looks like I'm ready to deliver a bowling ball and someone tried to punch it out of me. Feel a bit weak from surgery, I'm sure. My tongue is coated with some white yucky stuff (what's that about?) I bought Isopure beforehand so I could start right in with the protein. Tastes like flavored dishwater to me. Hope that gets better cuz I bought like 10 of those stupid things. Mexicali was hotter than hell (113 degrees yesterday the day I left.) Dr. Aceves was in and out a bunch. He drinks Coke - all day long - I asked him about that, but he said he doesn't have a sleeve so he can do that! Dr. Campos is getting skinny. Sergio was a love. I asked for Lidocaine before IV insertion; they poo-poo'd me and stuck it in anyway and it hurt like a SOB, and I let that doctor know I was NOT happy about that, GD it!! They gave me a Morphine spinal - I was rolled into a ball and that's all I remember as I was out after that. Woke up OK in recovery. Had a drain which they left in for 3 days and looked like a 3 foot snake when they pulled it out. Fun stuff. My husband was amazed they could get that much in there! I feel weak, dragging around, somewhat envious that DH can eat and I cannot eat anything. Enough trouble trying to drink. Water and all liquids are a little tough going down. Tea is best cuz it's warm and feels good. I tried to eat that chicken broth in the hospital, but the smell and taste of it gagged me. Everyone is different. So this is day 4 for me as well, and hope it gets better fast cause I feel like a major pune. Oh, BTW, I did not have to remove any nail polish or nails. Yay for that!
AJW

AJW

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8-14-09

Hey Guys, Hope today is better than yesterday. I walked around like a big gas bag burping and back-dooring gas all day, and peeing like a race horse. OK, TMI again. Sorry Yeah, that Isopure has got to go. I cannot stand the taste of it. I did not see on the Vitalady site where you can order samples of the Syntrax Nectar mix, just the big up plastic $30 jars of it. If I get it I just need to like it, ya know. GNC carries it too, but I'm sure not in all flavors, and shipping takes so long. I have other unflavored whey protein , so I guess I could mix that into different drinks. I tried Hawaiian Punch lite (or basically sugar-free) as suggested by Nina at Dr. A's, but gag me on that stuff. Too sweet. Taking pills is a real challenge too. I soaked the Nex Mups, but I also have to take a BP pill for awhile longer, and at night I take OTC Unisom to help sleep. Nothing is simple any more. On the up side, with all that water release yesterday I was down 3 pounds today. Of course that's just fluid retention not fat. One day at a time I guess.
AJW

AJW

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8-15-09

I had a particularly difficult digestive day. I can't say for sure, but I think a lot of the excessive gas, bloat and diarrha was due to the Body Fortress whey protein shots I consumed. Every day before today I've been fine, well relatively fine considering the time post-op. This is the only ingredient added, so I'll have to assume it's the culprit. Think I'll lay off the Jell-O too considering the source of that stuff. After I posted this I realized that perhaps the protein shots were coincidental to the post-op timing being that it was day 4. Seems everyone goes through this big crappy day somewhere between 3-7 days post-op. My lucky number was 4. Day 5 was better.:tongue_smilie:
AJW

AJW

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8-19-09

I'm feeling much better, thanks. I'm 9 days post-op and down 8 pounds since surgery. I find I miss having solid food around 5:00 PM, or as we're getting towards dinner. Having a cup of chicken broth for dinner just doesn't cut it, but that's OK cause it's just temporary. My wounds are healing up, and clothes are getting looser. All good things. I can swallow better, take small pills without discomfort, all signs of progress. Since I'm in the "honeymoon" phase of this surgery, everyday is a day I look forward to the scale and seeing what I've been able to lose. Life is good!
AJW

AJW

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8-21-09

This is day 11 post-op and the first day I can have "full liquids." I made my protein shake for breakfast and put a banana in it as I was used to doing pre-op. Everything went down fine, but I could only drink 3/4 of it, had to toss the rest. Protein drinks go bad very quickly so don't keep any left-overs after blending, even in the fridge, as bacteria develops which is not good for the tummy. I'm still rather lethargic and weak, like walking 100 yds to the mailbox is draining. Energy will return a little bit at a time. I've been losing 2 pounds a day for the last 3 days; it's like magic. I know it will slow down, but my best shot for quick loss is the first 30 days before returning to solid food. Hope it keeps going down as that makes the sacrifices easier to bear, know what I mean?!:tongue_smilie:
AJW

AJW

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August 23, 2009 - Better now

Well folks, I'm happy to say that my foul mood has lifted and seems to have normalized. That's the good news. The bad news is I went to weigh myself today and actually gained 1.2 pounds! I'm still in the liquid stage so how can that be?? I didn't do anything different yesterday drinking-wise, so will have to chalk it up to retained fluids. Hate that! It's been a tad bit humid and I always puff up in humidity. Oh well, hopefully by tomorrow I'll be back down again. Remains to be seen.:tongue_smilie:
AJW

AJW

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August 29th, Sloooowwww Going

Day 19 post-op. I'm down .2 pounds after a big stall. Wonder if this means the stall is over? I hope so; tomorrow will tell. Although I'm two days from mushies, I've been eating clear chicken noodle soup with some mushy small bites of veggies and an occasional noodle. Went down fine. That's all I'm doing except for my Medifast oatmeal thinned way down. Monday I can have cottage cheese and other mushy stuff, oh boy!:biggrin2: Energy is slowing returning. I notice a bit more every day. I can walk through a parking lot without it draining me. My incision from the drain finally closed after about 16 days but that's going to leave a big scar.:mad0:. I wish they could have made that hole a little smaller to begin with. Oh well, the nip/tuck can be revise that.:cursing:
AJW

AJW

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Sunday, Aug. 30th

Movement on the scale this morning, down .6 pounds and .2 yesterday, so that's good. Now I'm back to where I was on Aug. 22nd, that's how long the stall lasted. I'm not even on mushies, technically, until tomorrow. A food you can have on full-liquids is watermelon in small pieces, so that's great to have the texture in your mouth. It mushes down to only liquid so it's easy going down. I have a small bowl as a mid-morning and afternoon snack between protein servings. Anyway, the scale is once again my friend and hopefully I see more movement this week! :cursing:
AJW

AJW

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Day 22, post-op, and down 1 pound

I just updated my weight loss ticker to show a 1 pound loss. I KNOW, that's sooo slow since the last time I updated it was 8/20/09, that's how long it took to bounce around and finally come down. In fact there's been a loss for the last three days, but not a full pound off. I certainly hope this moves a little faster as I'll be one month post-op on Sept. 10th!
AJW

AJW

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