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About this blog

Off track and going for the restart

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Being Honest

My mom used that phrase, "honesty is the best policy" and I decided to start this blog with that thought. I have mostly failed at keeping up with my lap band program. I was banded in January of 2012 and lost 43 lbs in the first 4 months. I was very happy with the results, bought new clothes 2 sizes smaller and loved the positive comments from people who noticed the change. There was no support group in my area but thought I would make out ok. After all, I am a nurse and thought I knew it all. I guess what I didn't know was how many negatives in my life were supporting my bad habits. Not an excuse, but I had a 24/7 management job and it was killing me. So many hours, often 12 hrs a day and over weekends. I was emotionally and physically exhausted, lost my time to exercise and ate whenever and whatever I could and didn't take the time to plan it out. As the stress increased, I slowly began to gain weight back, a total of 20 lbs. I knew before the first year post LB that I couldn't keep up working like this and ever be successful with the LB. I just hadn't realized before how much work was affecting my life. At age 62, I decided to retire and I did. It has taken me nearly 3 months to "get myself back". I am no longer constantly fatigued and I have the time to take care of myself. Over the last several weeks, I am back to losing weight, 9 of the 20 lbs so far. I am trying to walk at least 30 minutes most days. I am also trying to find a stable spot with my blood sugars and how much of my oral medication I should take so I don't become hypoglycemic. I would like to use this blog to keep myself focused and gain support. I mostly see posts about success but not too many about someone who fails the first time around but comes back and meets that original goal. I want to be that person. I welcome any comments or advice you have. This morning I walked 30 minutes at a brisk pace. I weighed myself at 231 lbs. I had a nutrition packed shake (almond milk, protein powder, kale, blueberries and pear. 287 calories. I had one cup of beef stew loaded with veges for lunch that I made myself, little fat and low on salt. Wish me luck I can finish this day with a band friendly dinner and another 30 minute walk afterwards!
Maddy1

Maddy1

3
 

Starting Over

This morning I noticed blogs were up and running, so here I am!   My October was eventful. I retired at the end of June but stayed on with my company per diem. Didn't realize how busy I might be and that was one of my big problems with weight loss when I worked full time, no time for taking care of me. I had a request to fill in for a manager in a facility that had lost its leadership rather abruptly. It looked like the time could go on indefinitely, so this time I made a boundary limit, 4 weeks. I found I could walk at lunchtime which gave me a head start on getting in my exercise. I also had a new tool, Emily's Bites. This is a great web site for people on the go. Emily shows how to make very tasty meals in a muffin cup. I made up several recipes from her website before I started this position and froze them in batches. In the morning, I just pulled out a breakfast and a lunch perfectly proportioned to about one cup. By the time I was ready to eat, they just needed a little warm up in the microwave. This helped me to stick to my eating plan.   Everything was going well the first week. The facility knew I had prescheduled my vacation this year the second week and they agreed to that. My husband and I went off to New England and had a great several days. We walked together every day. No fast food. It worked better than I thought. Then by Friday night, we made it to Brooklyn to spend our last few days with our daughter. We had a great dinner that evening and were walking home to her apartment when I tripped on uneven sidewalk and fell and broke my left arm in two places. Probably the most painful experience I have had. So walking went on hold for awhile and I couldn't cook so we bought frozen meals with appropriate calories.   A few weeks have passed and I am finally starting to feel better. Really wished I had had a recliner in my home, but I have made do with lots of pillows. The best news of all for me today was that I haven't gained ANY weight! I didn't lose any the last few weeks, but as I am just sitting around all day, and I am older (62) with a slower metabolism, I am just so happy I didn't get further behind in my goals! My arm is going to take a long time to heal (per my ortho doc) but I am hoping to start walking this week and gradually building my stamina back up. My sling keeps my arm from bouncing around too much and, although I may not get back to 2 miles for awhile, just getting back to myself and starting the process again is exciting. I will be till Christmas before I am healed and my therapy is complete, but it is such a relief to be feeling somewhat better and know I can avoid using this as an opportunity to gain weight again!
Maddy1

Maddy1

2
 

Starting Over

So things have been going pretty well. I am getting one or two 30 min walks in every day and sticking to the diet. I was down to 229 lbs. this morning, the first time I have been under 230 for months. I was feeling very positive. I headed for Walmart for a few groceries. As I was entering the store, sitting on a bench in the entry area was a 30 something woman who appeared to be having trouble breathing. She was extremely obese, likely over 450 lbs (I can reasonable make that guess because I had an aunt who weighed that much and was about the same size). As a nurse, I was concerned for her and I asked her if she was ok. Through her difficult breaths, she indicated she would be ok and she said "I'm waiting for an electric cart. I just walked in from my car." I was stunned and felt a fear I hadn't experienced before....I could be experiencing those same symptoms if I don't take care of myself. Funny how I don't think I was ever afraid of being overweight before. It didn't interfere much with the things I do, but did I only do the things I was able to do, not everything I could do? That is a thought I am going to give much attention to as I go through this journey.
Maddy1

Maddy1

1
 

Starting Over

Update here! I haven't written much in the last month because I am still recovering from my broken arm. I am much improved, 4 weeks out. I start physical therapy on Monday but have been doing a little on my own. I definitely have more movement. I am not back to walking yet because the walking tends to make my shoulder area ache more near the fracture.   But here's the thing, I am still losing weight, slowly, and I guess I am surprised. I was just hoping to avoid gaining any weight since I am not getting the exercise. At my age, I don't think there is much weight loss without movement, hence the surprise. I have been thinking about what has changed about me in this new "start over". Why was I less successful the first time in the year after I had this surgery? Well I've already talked about some of it, the stress of my job. But I think there is something else. I seem to have made some peace with portion size and recognizing those things that don't go down well or are hard to chew. I also noticed that when I get a full plate (say when we go out for a meal), I feel overwhelmed at how much food is sitting in front of me. I have developed an aversion to anything fried as I began to recognize it didn't feel so good when I ate it, yet before I loved it. I can tell right away what foods I won't be able to chew well. I also used to have this feeling that to avoid going back for seconds, I really needed to fill my plate to be sure I had enough. Wow, now I can pretty much judge by sight what is the right portion size and I have confidence it will be enough for me. I have to tell you, these are pretty big changes for me! And because I eat slowly, I find myself waiting for the "soft stop" cue (I got that term from Jean) to tell me when I have had enough. "Enough" is becoming my new "full"!   So I am happy with this. Of course the weight loss is slow right now (5 lbs since I first broke my arm 4 weeks ago) but I am satisfied with this progress for me. I am feeling confident going forward with controlling my weight loss!
Maddy1

Maddy1

0
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