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About this blog

My Journey...My Thoughts

Entries in this blog

 

My First Blog (EVER...Yikes!)

I'm so glad I found this group. I'm excited and scared as hell about my upcoming surgery date (11SEP13). I've found comfort here...as well as uncomfortable truths.   I am not very open with the people that know me. I have issues...I have a counselor who is helping me with those issues. Progress is being made So, you all have been my peeps...I've come to you (whether you know it or not) for answers, encouragement, and truth. I've posted a few times. I've shared some of my story. I want to share more. And I want you to respond...with truth, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.   So, here is my promise. I promise not to be offended when you tell me the uncomfortable truth about my ramblings. I won't get all moody and start calling names. I will value your opinions and your experiences. I may pout in front of my computer screen...but not on here where you can see it.   I also promise to share...the comfy and the uncomfy parts. I know it's not going to be a bed of roses, or an instant fix. It's going to be hard work and require a full committment on my part. There is no miracle weight loss. I know people have complications. I want to learn from them. I promise to take responsibility for my actions on here. If I screw up...I'm going to own it. And I ask you to remind me of that I know there are consequences for when I make mistakes. And I accept that you are going to let me know about them!   I write this because I've seen a few posts lately where the initial poster gets offended when the comments aren't all "warm and fuzzy." Well...as some of you have pointed out...truth isn't always warm and fuzzy.   So, thank you for letting me learn from you.   Thank you for being that shoulder I may need to lean on.   And thank you for keeping me in check.

SillyAuntDi

SillyAuntDi

 

Wednesday is almost here!

Wednesday it all changes.   I had a couple mini panic attacks over the weekend. I just burst into tears in the shower. I had to do deep breathing exercises a few times to settle down my nerves. I'm not second-guessing my decision. I stand firm behind it. I'm ready and excited. The unknown is what is grating at me...how much pain, how long will it last, what happens if I...all those crazy little thoughts that just won't quick knocking on my brain.   Add to the crazy the fact that I've been off the NSAIDs I take for the arthritis in my feet and knees for almost a week now. I hurt everywhere. There is no relief. Tylenol is a joke. I tried to rest this weekend, but just moving up the stairs to my bedroom was a chore. I know this will get better, but wow...I didn't realize how much the meds helped until I couldn't take them anymore.   Then, I decided this weekend to begin the process of kicking the caffeine out of my system. I didn't figure that would be so hard since I don't take in that much each day. I was wrong. My head hurts. At least I kicked the soda habit over a year ago. That helps.   Tomorrow is a full day of clear liquids. I giggle when I think about the instructions to take a shower and use a q-tip to clean out my belly button. Then, at 5:45 am Wednesday, I report for Band duty!   So, now I'm putting one foot in front of the other, taking deep breaths, and repeating to myself "I CAN."

SillyAuntDi

SillyAuntDi

 

psst....I've got a secret

Come closer, I want to tell you something. It's kinda cool...but I don't want to jinx it either.   I've lost almost 30lbs since my pre-op appt. on September 4. That's way cool...and very exciting!   I don't want to tell just anybody, so it's just between you and me right now, OK?   Thanks

SillyAuntDi

SillyAuntDi

 

Things I have discovered about myself in the last two weeks...

I was banded 9/11. I'm thrilled! My anxiety on the days leading into the surgery make me laugh now. The pain wasn't that bad, and the shakes didn't make me gag.   Here are a few things I've figured out about me in the last two weeks:   1. I have no regrets. 2. I have TONS of will power that is just pouring out of my soul. And I don't resent what I can't have right now. 3. My sense of humor is still fully in place. 4. I actually no longer care who knows that I've had surgery. This is the biggest surprise of all. I was telling no one. I was nervous about coming back to work and having to answer questions about why I was out. Now, if they ask...I just start spilling it. It's funny. 5. I have the BEST friends and family. I already knew this, but just thought I'd say it anyway 6. I WANT this so badly. I think that's why it's not been as hard as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong. I've had my moments. But, in all...I'm happy.   I'm sure more things will come to me as the days progress. More little revelations about me. More little secrets coming to the surface. But, it's a journey that I'm so happy to be on.   Have a great day!

SillyAuntDi

SillyAuntDi

 

All The Benefits Of My Lapband...i'm So Happy!

So the list just grows longer and longer. the benefits of my current 50lb loss include:   --Dropping my b/p meds and having normal b/p for the first time in years.   --Smaller clothes...this is so much fun and so encouraging. I don't always see the difference in the mirror, but I see it in my clothes. Nice incentive to keep on keeping on.   --I feel better. I move better. I sleep better. I am smiling so much more.   --And now one very big one that will keep me on track for a long time. I visited my knee doctor yesterday. My right knee is a mess. I've known I'll need replacement for sometime now. But, I've been too young and too overweight. But...because I've had my surgery, it's going to be closer. He's not going to make me wait until I turn 50. I can have it when I lose another 50-75 lbs. I'm so excited! No more pain. I have no cartilage in my right knee. I'm bone on bone. I also have bone spurs and lots of nasty arthritis. I got a shot of cortisone yesterday that will help with the pain. I'm limited to doing cardio ONLY in the pool. No treadmills, no elipticals, no stairs (except at home to get to my bedroom). So, I'm working on getting new workout plans for the pool to keep me engaged.   So the list just keeps growing. I'm so happy with my decision.   Have a great day, friends!

SillyAuntDi

SillyAuntDi

 

One week away...This is REAL!

I've been scheduled for September 11, 2013 since the middle of July. I needed to get past a planned vacation and a few other schedule barriers and then I would be banded. Somehow, until those things passed it seemed so far away. Now, vacation is over and the other scheduled items are finishing up this week. WOW..this just got real! One week from tomorrow!   I have my pre-op appointment tomorrow and I have a feeling my head will be spinning with the reality of it all. I'm not second-guessing or even scared. I'm ready and excited. I just can't believe it's so close!!!!

SillyAuntDi

SillyAuntDi

 

I had to laugh...it's all I can do sometimes.

So, let me start with this. I love where I work. It's fantastic. My company is regularly voted as one of the top places to work in the US according to Forbes Magazine. In fact, we were ranked #1 a couple of years ago...twice. Perks here are outstanding: Free onsite healthcare, free gym access with a great cardio/weight room and a pool. You can take yoga and pilates classes on site. We have a hair salon on site (it's not free, but extremely convenient). There are 4 full service cafes on site, including one in the basement of my building. I can go downstairs and get a salad (when I'm back at that stage), a hot meal, deli sandwich or a hot sandwich. Some days we get fresh sushi. We have nice breakrooms on each floor that have various snacks and drinks. My employer is generous with time off and has been great to work with during my recovery period. My HR person even called to make sure I was back at work and doing OK after my scheduled time off.   It's a great place to work. Most importantly, though I love my job. I don't take any of it forgranted either. It's special.   I've been working here almost 15 years now. And, there is one thing that still makes me laugh. One of the "treats" we have in each break room is a weekly supply of M&Ms. Peanut and plain. There is a great person who comes weekly to refill the candy jars. It's like Pavlov's Dogs...we hear the M&Ms hit the jar and people start making their way to the breakroom.   Yesterday I was in the breakroom heating up my mushy lunch and the candy lady was there filling up the jars. The first bag poured in and I said "OH, we know that noise. Watch how quickly people show up." She barely finished pouring the second bag and three people came in to dig out what they wanted. They all looked at me with my little lunch. I didn't even flinch. I'm just glad I'm not one of those people anymore   I walked back to my desk and chuckled. And I savored my ability to break that habit and stick with it.   Now, I just need to get back to the pool. I miss it. But, I can't go until I've seen the surgeon and he's OK with it. I see him on October 16. Fingers crossed!

SillyAuntDi

SillyAuntDi

 

This is the fun stuff...

I've been extremely careful the past three weeks of my newly banded life. I've been very strict with the list of foods I'm allowed to eat. I'm meticulous in getting in my water. And, I've tried to not get overly excited by the pounds dripping off my very happy body. But...   Today I had to check to be sure my pants weren't too saggy in the butt. Yep. And, my underwear is creeping up my...well...you know where it creeps   My shirts are looking a little sloppy.   I'm WAY FAR AWAY from any major goal or milestone...but the morning check for saggy butt has begun. I've already got a stack of "pants I can't wear anymore because they will fall down in public." There is currently one pair in the stack...but I've started a stack   The little things are what keep me focused and smiling...   Have a great day!

SillyAuntDi

SillyAuntDi

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