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About this blog

from contemplation to investigation to action...

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June 28...deleted my personal photos...this is why:

I was in quite a state last night when I discovered, in just googling Lahey Clinic and one of the surgeries my posting in one of these forums. "Beside myself" comes to mind.   To think of all the very personal and generous shares people post in these forums, believing only others considering or having had weight loss surgery could read what they wrote or perhaps see a very personal photo... It never occurred to me that people who I have not told I am going to do bariatric surgery yet could google a hospital and discover my post on the forum without finding the forum to begin with or joining it.   I have deleted my photos...and will just use my nickname, mojaleski from here on...and hope to continue participating because it is so valuable to me, although I am still very new.   I am feeling confident about the surgery...now hoping to have the sleeve after discussing at length with the nurse practitioner at Lahey. It seems the most prudent option for me, given my age, osteopenia and family medical history...so if my upper GI fluoroscopy is okay that is the direction I will keep heading. I am also a good candidate for the band so it is still an option.   Started weight loss plan today too...tracking my food...and will be joining a health club so that I can exercise, in earnest. (argghhh)   Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. me

mojaleski

mojaleski

 

June 27...my first pre-surgery visit at Lahey

So this morning I headed down to Lahey at 0-dark-30 before the morning commuter traffic and settled in to wait...nervous as a cat, I realized, and excited at the same time.   There were 3 of us. One was a woman who currently has the lap band, has had no complications in 6 years with it, but had lost 80 lb. but it was not successful to get the other 50 or 60 lb. she would like to achieve; she is wanting the by pass procedure. The other woman wanted by pass surgery too. I was thinking sleeve or band...and vacillating between the two, having done my due diligence and thought with my family history I might one day need my "absorption" of medications and nutrients to be intact and may need access to my stomach through my mouth for testing...I was correct in my self recommendation...I should not have by pass surgery, for just those reasons.   I met with the dietician, and then the nurse practioner...and then a psychologist. Great experience! Wonderful team there...I felt like I was in good hands. The nurse practioner remembered me from the info session a couple weeks ago...she had noted I had asked really good questions...and noted today I had really done my homework and knew the procedures and possible complications well.   I am a really good candidate for the sleeve (assuming my upper GI series does not show I have GERD or a big hiatal hernia. And if that all goes well, and assuming the surgeon makes that recommendation as well, that is the surgery I will likely have...hopefully before the end of September. I am also a good candidate for the lap band...BUT...I might not be such a low risk candidate in 10 years when I am 80, if I were to have a problem with the band requiring another surgery...so that is what I am thinking today.   And all this is, of course, predicated on my insurance covering the surgery. My BMI is high enough but I don't know that I can have documented proof that I have been seriously obese for these last 5 years...because when I went to the doctor I would decline being weighed!!! So we will see.   I have an appoinment in 1 mo...for the GI series and appointment with nurse practioner...and then a morn later the last week in August I meet again with the dietician and finally with the surgeon...and get a surgery date!   I left really "UP" and relieved...and confident that this is the right thing for me. So whether I have the sleeve or band...I think I can do this and do well.   Christine

mojaleski

mojaleski

 

June 21...thinking I am changing my mind

So...I met with my friend who had rny bypass surgery 5 years ago (and who looks wonderful and feels great) and additionally I have been devouring all I can read about complications of lapband and the very high percent of re-surgeries and other complications, some of which make me have 5th thoughts (not just 2nd thoughts) about my reasons for choosing lap band surgery.   Now I am reading of issues with bypass too but seemingly not as many after the initial surgical risks of bleeding and infection etc...   I am remembering the surgeon who did the info session at Lahey and how I thought he sounded a bit biased against the band...which was the reason that when I made an appointment to meet with a surgeon I chose the other one...I wanted to know if he, too, might discourage the band. What the doctor had said was about 3 out of 10 band patients had complications requiring further surgery. Optimist that I am, I said to myself..."I am healthy and I will be one of the 7 who don't have complications". Good, so far... but then I am 70 and if I have to have further surgery at 80 I might not be such a good risk. And some of the ports and bands get really embedded in scar tissue, making them very difficult to remove...and sometimes it is not possible to put a new band on or to move to by pass surgery by then because of strictures, infections and scar tissue. The doctor said NOT to be thinking the lap band is the first stage...or "let's start with the simplest procedure and if it doesn't work for me I can always move on to by pass"   So when I go to meet with the surgeon on Th. next week, the 27th, I have lots of questions, no answers and I am both excited and scared...and will likely choose what he tells me he thinks is my best option, given my family history, age and any other mitigating factors.   We will see. Christine (mojaleski nickname)

mojaleski

mojaleski

 

6/17/13 which way to go?

Well, here I am, reading everything I can on the successes and failures and complications of lap band surgery vs sleeve gastrectomy or bypass surgery. It is overwhelming. I want to lose ALL of my excess weight...and want to keep it off. I don't want scar tissue around my esophagus. I don't want a band eroding into my stomach. I want a band to do what it is supposed to do...help me feel satiated with less food...so that I will lose weight fast enough to see results which will keep me going. I want my energy back. I want my clothes to fit...the little ones hanging in my closets for more than 10 years now. I don't care if they are out of style! :-)   I am waiting for a call from an old friend who had the by pass surgery done at Brigham & Women's Hospital, perhaps 4 years ago. I have not see her since a few weeks post surgery. At that time she wasn't so sure she was glad she had done this...but looking at her fabulous photos one can see clearly that she is beautiful and happy with her surgical result. She and I have planned to meet for lunch today but in the meanwhile her e-mail said I should NOT do the band because no one she knew lost their weight with it and she advises the by pass surgery strongly. I will listen to everything she can tell me and ask questions and take it all to Lahey next week and discuss it with the surgeon.   Who knows...maybe it will be a choice only to have one surgery or nothing once my exams and family history and my age etc. are factored in.   Waiting is hard!

mojaleski

mojaleski

 

Feeling more comfortable with plan to have Lap Band

This was a "1st" for me...whoever heard of a significantly overweight woman getting on a scale with shoes and jeans!!! Even to get on any scale naked would not be something I would be doing at home in the "afternoon"...always stood on the scale on my left foot, wanting the scale to 'tip down'...the games we play trying to weigh less over the years...waiting for my hair to dry after a shower...and before breakfast...after going to the bathroom...jewelry off. How much did I think a small bracelet and stud earrings could weigh???   Weight (with sandals and jeans and after lunch!) was 238.9 lb. this afternoon at my doctor's appointment. Took the shoes off to be measured though... I am 5' 4.5"...and they calculated my BMI to be 40.37 which should just marginally get insurance to cover, hopefully, since I was told 40 was what I would need at Lahey. I wanted my BMI to qualify me as "morbidly obese" so I could be covered for bariatric surgery. (I am sure those of you reading this can understand this illogical thinking...happy momentarily at least to be 'morbidly' anything!!)   It seems (happily) that I have no co-morbid conditions which would allow me to be considered if BMI was between 35 and 40. So I will not be doing anything to lose weight until I have my appointment at Lahey when I will get officially weighed and submit paperwork to insurance company for approval. I am a bit worried because of my age. Looking through this website and doing some google searches it would appear that it would be unusual for many people at 70 get this done.   My pcp is very much in favor of the band and has had many patients who have done extremely well with it, and a couple at Lahey Clinic where I have my 1st appointment with surgeon on the 27th of this month, just 13 days from today. He was surprised to realize I have never had hypertension, high cholesterol, take no meds for anything routinely and am not diabetic...says I am an excellent candidate for surgery and expects I will do well. He is quite knowledgeable about obesity...and why it is hard for some of us to lose weight and keep it off, just by dieting and exercise. I also got a referral letter from a psychiatrist I have known for many years, stating I have no mental illnesses nor personality disorders and am a good candidate for this surgery.   So I think I am ready to go...looking forward to finding out more and once insurance approved (hopefully) then I can begin working to get as much weight off as possible before having the surgery so that I am an even better surgical risk and can be "on my way" to a healthier, more active ME!   I plan to join a health club...and think some yoga and zumba would be really good for me!

mojaleski

mojaleski

 

Getting ready for my appointments

Gathering further data today, researching the two different Lap band systems, educating myself about benefits of banding over plication...printing some info for my folder to have readily available.   Also put together the points I want to discuss with Dr. Brams when I go for my first appointment with him at Lahey on June 27th...some of my own and family relevant medical history and questions I need answered adequately which could not have been covered during the informational session earlier this week.   Will be meeting with my local pcp tomorrow afternoon and hopefully will have a referral and support from him.   Would like to have this surgery later this summer but am a bit concerned about it being a teaching hospital and new medical staff in training this time of year...another item to discuss at my 3 hour appointment on the 27th!   This website is wonderful and I have friended some folks who I want to follow and who are so encouraging, sharing their experiences so generously. Thank you all so much. Christine

mojaleski

mojaleski

 

In the beginning

June 12, 2013   Hi... Well, here I am, having been contemplating weight loss surgery for some time...years?...but always thinking I SHOULD be able to control my weight with the various "successful" at one time or another diets I have used, schemes, wishes, vows (some complete with oaths!), pleas to God, 12 step programs, diet pills that bind fat or magically work as in the recent coffee beans "plan" of action.   Two days ago I attended an info session on weight loss surgery options at Lahey Clinic in Burlington, Massachusetts. My partner, Don, came with me. The presentation, by Dr. Dimitry Nepomnayshy was excellent...direct, funny at times and sobering too. Certainly none of the 3 options discussed would be easy; none would be a 'magic bullet', for sure. He made it clear that for anyone thinking the surgery would work without exercise (arghhh) they might just as well leave the room NOW. Same thing for having any lingering illusions that the surgery would work if one didn't make the correct choices around types and quantities of food after the surgery. The analogy of a 3 legged stool was powerful.   I am thinking about my own history...diets without exercise...and/or little ongoing exercise and how the 3 legs or wheels work. A 3 wheeled bike...tricycle has stability and prevents a toddler from falling off the bike (and lots of us older people start riding BIG trikes for the same reason...) When I last rode my bike (a two wheeler!) last year I was a bit wobbly over rough areas and when traffic approached...if I were to stop the bike would tip over if I didn't balance by putting at least one foot on the ground. Yet when I dieted and didn't exercise eventually I fell off... it was hard to get up...hard to want to get up once I started eating. It was not as though I didn't know better...it was not that I had forgotten what worked for me...I would just simply want to stay in the food for awhile...since I had fallen I might as well stay where I was for "awhile". I will start tomorrow...or after the weekend...or after the wedding...or after the holidays...or after the summer...and then...before I reach 150 lb. again, which became 160, 175, 190, 200, 225...and now I can say "at least I am not 279 and 3/4 lb. again!!" Good grief. I need stability and the 3 legged stool or tricycle for stability is making sense.   Can I commit and follow directions? I do think I can. I have dieted or followed my different food plans successfully a number of times through the years. More often though...most of the time...I would start the day well...and be in the food before the day was over...sometimes within minutes of my vow that "today is the day" and "this time will be different".   In my 12 step program I once lost 140 lb. and got down to 139...which felt fabulous and I looked great. Moreover, I had such energy and loved how I looked in my size 6 petite dresses...not size 2X or some 3Xes. Once I bought a size 5X sweatshirt so it would be big and roomy, I thought. Well it is not healthy to be wearing a size 5X and rationalizing I had looked smaller because it didn't cling anywhere. It would have fit over my dishwasher and I thought it looked good on me because it felt good on me. I gave it away on my way down the scales...but later wished I had it back...when I was on my way up.   All my life I have been either on the way down...or on my speeding train ride back up! Being the same weight the first day of Spring and fall would be just a coincidence, should it ever have actually occurred. The clothes in my closets go from size 4 (believe it or not) to size 3X. Out of date, out of style...no matter...I have saved so many things. Clothes that I thought were "fat" clothes on my way up...look tiny now, sixty some odd pounds heavier. Even half my shoes don't fit...and I have a lot of shoes. My feet gained weight and shoes can hurt!   I have an appointment with my pcp this Friday to get his referral and support. Yesterday I called Lahey Clinic and have given them my information and have an appointment with a surgeon on June 27th. I am nervous but excited. I can visualize this extra weight off my body again. It is not going to be easy. It is not without risk...but it is risky whether I go back to my 12 step program or weight watchers ...and my history tells me that for some reason I will not be successful at losing enough to to try maintenance again. I am overweight enough to quality for insurance to cover my surgery. Statistics indicate that I have the best chance of recovering my body and vitality with a combination of correct diet in smaller portions, exercise and surgical help. I am 70 now. I don't think I can play around with obesity any longer before I start having serious health issues.   Enough for today.

mojaleski

mojaleski

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