Reprinted from my blog:
TheDeconstructionofJohnny.blogspot.com
Welcome back to my ever-growing throng of readers! It's great to see that so many folks have been loyally following my mission to fizzle my fat. I am more amazed every week when we get visitors from countries all over the world. I don't know what's more amazing, this Internet thing that I thought would never catch on, or the fact that so many different cultures could possibly embrace one fat ass's life long weight struggle. Whatever the case, I'm glad you're here. Especially, this week. I'm imminently facing my second dance with Devil. So get your pencils and scorecards ready.
Here's the 4-1-1 on my second dalliance with my old nemesis, The Beelzabub of Blubber himself. I have been faithfully on the old wagon, shying away from most "regular people" food, adult beverages and other forms of MANtertainment since April 9. So here comes my first big challenge. Starting this evening, my guest hits town for our annual golf tournament. This will be my 20th consecutive year of participation and is always the first thing to go on my calender. Besides 3 days of awesome golf, two wonderful social functions are attached to this event. The next few days will be filled with with everything "real men" long for .... Golf, drinking, smoking, gambling, dirty jokes and funny body noises. Yep.... Even your tight ass husband will let loose and revel in this form of legal debauchery. He can't help it. It's a pack mentality. Part of our code.
So you can see, the temptations will be coming at me from all angles. And just so we have no misunderstandings, I will be breaking my new rules and let loose a little bit. This has been planned and part of my year long goals. I need to be able to go to a function like this and not gain five pounds in three days. So immediate goal #1, be the same weight on Monday. That goal will be on the forefront of my mind as I say YES to a martini, NO to a hot dog, YES to Cuba Libre', NO to cheeseburger, YES to pinot noir and NO to a frosty sundae. I WILL have a couple of libations! I WON'T eat like my old self. That guy ain't here no more.
Yes, I have had one battle with the beast previously. It's duly noted that I lost the day but I did manage to keep the score down. And let the record show that I LOST weight that week. I didn't fall off the wagon entirely, I just kinda hung on the side. So that's immediate goal # 2. Don't fall completely off the wagon. I look at this as being in training for my new life. It's not in my nature to hide away like a hermit. So if I am to return to the real world some day, I need to be ready. These types of events, outings and get togethers are preparing me for the future ... kinda like fat college.
That's it for now. You need to check back early next week and find out who wins this battle. If my weight is the same on Monday as it is today I win! If not, it's another loss to the evil Prince of Plump.
See ya!
PS..... I'm down 33 1/2 pounds since April 9th. I get the first fill on Monday.
YOU CAN FOLLOW ME ON MY BLOG at:
TheDeconstructionofJohnny.blogspot.com
Weds, June 12
Hello again loyal Bloggins, Johnny fans and fellow Bandsters! It's been about a week since we chatted so I thought I'd let you know how it's going on The World According to Johnny. I gotta say ... pretty damn good!
It's been 4 weeks today since the capable Dr. X installed the anti-eating apparatus in my oh so blubbery mid-section. As advertised by the Doc and his staff, I feel completely healed and am suffering no side effects what-so-ever. Other than this strange hankerin' for a trash bag full of Fritos I can't seem to shake, life has settled in to my new normal. Yes, NEW normal.
I have totally embraced my band and what it stands for. That is commitment. It is just so crystal clear to me that inserting a medical device inside your body is the last, desperate measure a fat person can take. And why take this drastic step if you are not going to change your life? Well, so far, I have changed my life. Dramatically. I have not yet had my band filled which means it's wide open. I think I could pretty much get anything down the ol' yapper that I wanted and not have a stuck episode. But just knowing "Bandy" is in there, keeps me on the straight and narrow. Yep. I've changed. Hopefully for ever.
Although not required, I still start my day with the protein shake blended with a little ice. It's just like a milk shake and I like it! I have recently started adding a tablespoon of low sugar peanut butter to the chocolate flavored shakes and it's delish! So no more big breakfasts or even breakfasts that I thought were healthy for me. I'm sticking with these shakes whenever possible. Lunch has turned into a 240 calorie tuna snack lunch or a low fat soup. No more fast food, deli or 3 martini lunches for this fat ass!Dinner has consisted of ground up beef or turkey with a bit of flavoring, cooked veggies and some watermelon. And I'm good with it! It does help that wife wife L is a fine chef and makes even a mundane dish rival a nice dinner out. Add in my snacks of yogurt, sugar free puddin' and a night cap Fudgie bar, I'm feeling real satisfied. I am actually blown away that this is working.
Am I losing weight? You betcha! 30 unsightly pounds of extra mass have evaporated from my roly poly body. That's 2 bowling balls of F-A-T! Let that sink in.
Am I on target? You betcha! I was told to expect to lose 1.5 pounds a week after surgery. I'm exactly at that figure. If I can keep that pace up, I'll hit my 8th grade weight by October. Hey, there's another goal!
Do I have any pain? Nope.
Most importantly, can I play golf? Yep. 3 rounds last week alone.
So all in all, I am right where I should be. On the path to success!
As rosy as it all appears, there are a few bummers. I'm a party guy. As explained in detail in previous posts, I excel at eating, drinking and merrymaking. My history is legendary. And I if I could remember it, it would make quite a book. This No Fun Johnny is, well, no fun. I am making healthy decisions daily when comes to food and booze. That includes avoiding almost all situations that include the Devils temptresses. So far I have declined offers to at least 2 BBQs, 2 parties and a wedding. Yep. No fun at all. But this is the new normal. Am I embracing the No Fun Johnny? Nope.
Check back soon!
First band fill on Monday. Then we have to talk about the dreaded "W" word.
Floow along on my blog:
Thedeconstructionofjohnny.blogspot.com
I went for my first post op Dr. visit this week. It went pretty well. I say pretty well because I got busted for a little drinking and a little non-smashie food intake. But I was on an impromtu trip with the boys! What's a guy to do? Catch up on my blog:
http://thedeconstructionofjohnny.blogspot.com/
New readers start at the begininng. I try and add a little levity to our weight loss journey through LB surgery.
