My wife and I have been quite open with our two daughters (9 and 12) about my lap band. Before surgery we walked them through what would happen, how it would affect my life and more than that why I was doing it. So as I have had to adjust to my new lifestyle, my daughters and wife have adjusted with me. But I didn't realize the extent of that adjustment until I heard these words come out of my 9 year old's mouth "Mom, you are chewing too fast, you need to slow down!" The look of shock on my wife's face was priceless
I remember during my undergrad studies in Psychology reading a paper that talked about people who were addicted to gambling and a peculiar memory trait that only allowed them to remember the times that they won. This caused them to constantly misjudge the odds when placing a bet, because the were overly optimistic about their chances.
I think that we who are fat have a similar trait, but in reverse. We only remember the times that we have failed in our journey to be fit, and so when there is temptation, when there are rough spots we err by forgetting all the scale victories, all the nsvs, all the times that we beat temptation and made a right choice and we only remember the times when we failed. So we believe that failure is inevitable and give in.
Today has been a hard day for me, I am experiencing a bit of bandster hell, combined with a generous portion of head hunger and emotional eating and the only thing I can think about is why bother, I am just going to fail anyhow. No, I haven't given in to those voices, but I have had one NSV after another this last week, I am within 4 pounds being at the lowest weight I have been at since I was a freshman in high school, and yet my failures are the memories parade before me today.
One of the things that the people of the Old Testament did when God did something spectacular in their lives was they built a marker, a pile of stones to remind them of the victory that had happened in that place. I think I need to start building some markers in my life so that I can concentrate on the victories, and not the defeats.
And no, I am not talking about the size of my butt!
Just looking at my ticker and based on my surgeon's first goal for me, I am over have way there, but as many veterans have warned me weight loss has slowed, but is still on a downward trend. It would be nice to extrapolate based on what I have lost so far as to how long it will take me to meet that goal, but WLS doesn't work that way.
My spin classes have been giving me great cardio, and building my leg muscles but they have also been playing havoc with the scale. As my body retains water to deal with the micro tears that encourage new muscle growth, the scale stays the same (or climbs) for days on end, then one morning I will get up and have dropped 3-4 pounds from one night to the next. But if I am logging my food, and exercise I can pretty much ignore this by knowing what is real.
Next step is adding in strength training, since I don't want a lot of upper body mass, low weights and lots of repetition will tone my upper body without making me look like the Hulk.
I packed my normal breakfast of a Protein shake and a some steel cut oats, and drank my shake when I got to my desk. a couple of hours later I was hungry again and pulled my oatmeal out. Then Mistress Band spoke, "I'm not eating that stuff, get me some more protein!" So down to the cafeteria for a couple for eggs and hash browns, threw 3/4 of the hash browns away, and Mistress Band is now one happy camper.
When I woke up this morning, I was feeling pretty lethargic, I knew I had been doing a lot of physical labor on 1300 calories a day with the constant snow fall here, but I thought I had been allowing for that. My body disagreed, and a real part of my journey is learning to listen to my band and my body.
Food for thought.
I was banded on 1/7/13 and one of the things that my instructions talked about was that during the "Healing Phase" of my eating, many patients stop losing or actually gain weight. With this in mind I have been very careful to log all my food and count calories Even thought my NUT said that calorie counting wasn't necessary, she told me to shoot for between 1300 - 1500. So, this morning I was able to go back to one of my pre-band rituals of Saturday morning breakfast with a friend, but I was scared because I was flying solo, no scale, no measuring cups, just me and "Mistress Band".
So, the result? I ordered two eggs and hash browns, I pre-cut all my food to the proper size, and tried to focus on the conversation and my eating. Pretty soon I hit a soft stop (hiccup) and then each bite I started asking myself why I was taking that bite. When the answer because "Because it tastes so good" I put my fork down and moved the plate out of reach.
At that point, I was satisfied, not full, but satisfied and it looking at my plate, I realized that I had eaten about the same as I would have if I had pre-measured it. Maybe one day, I will be able to move rely totally on listening to my body and my band, but until then, I will log and count.
Cleaning our closets out finally got to me, so I went in to do mine, and it is only about a quarter full now. Got a nice NSV in the process as well. 2005 I hit the lowest weight of my adult life when I went from 324 to 249.8, I stayed there for a couple of weeks and then started gaining again. During the that time I bought a couple of nice sports shirts that I really loved, but haven't been able to wear since, and I ran across them while I was cleaning. On a lark I tried them on and they fit.
Now looking forward to the sale at Kohl's in a couple of days with a 20% off coupon in my hot little hand.
Moved to solid foods on Friday, not only have Mistress Band and I not been on the best of terms since then, my weight loss stopped.
This is why when we talk about calories in versus calories out, we always need to look at the big picture rather than the daily total. Once my body gets used to what I am feeding it, the loss will start up again. Until then I just need to concentrate on making sure that I am eating what and how much I am supposed to, getting my water and exercise in.
On the plus side, I had my first spin class yesterday and survived.
I went for my 5th fill this morning, so today is liquids and tomorrow is mushies.
Normal for me is to pick up a quart of milk and a quart of OJ to supplement my shakes and get me through the day because I am so freaking hungry. Just got out of spin class and sat down at my desk and opened a shake and started reading the forum. Pretty soon half my shake was gone and I picked it up for another sip, and Mistress Band said "Sorry Bud, but you are done". Now, she didn't say it in a mean way, she didn't bring out the spiked heels, I just looked at the shake and thought to myself, ewwww! (And I love my shakes).
Interesting...
Try something else. I am tired of my scale plateau, so on Missy's recommendation I am going to try carb cycling for a week or so to try and break it. So Missy if it doesn't work, I am holding you personally responsible
I had my second fill today, the nurse added 1.5 to my 10 cc band bringing my total up to 2.5. Same little ache in the band area after fill, which quickly fades. So, liquids today, mushies tomorrow and solids on Sunday.
I have been adding some processed foods back in to try and combat the cravings. Taquitos the other night, and pizza last night. Some things lose their allure when I choose to eat them (taquitos), some things are still trigger foods (pizza), none of them satisfy and curb my hunger like non-processed nourishment. Well, I guess I will just have to sacrifice and eat more ribeyes.
The company that I work for provides insurance through one of the top 5 insurance companies in the nation, our employee count is under a thousand and we are provided with an online registration portal. So far registration has been pushed back twice for web site issues, and when it finally come online today, it crashed after a couple of hours.Maybe the Obamacare website isn't so bad after all.
I am not mocking or belittling the concerns and issues that some are facing as the ACA takes effect, but I want people to understand that there are two sides to the story. Healthcare has long been broken in our country, and while the ACA is by no means perfect, it is a start. Let's move forward and make it even better.
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/09/us/amid-the-uproar-over-the-health-law-voices-of-quiet-optimism-and-relief.html?pagewanted=2&ref=politics&pagewanted=all&_r=0
Plateau finally broke, and I have dropped 5 pounds since my fill on Friday. Last couple of days have been really interesting as I believe I am in the green zone with 4.3 cc in a 10cc band. Well today is different and my body has been hungry most of the day. But I ate my normal dinner, and had my evening treat (Skinny Cow), but I was still hungry. So I pulled a couple of chicken thighs out of the fridge, warmed them up and I am munching on those.
The sweet treats are nice, but the protein is what keeps the hunger away for me.
is that it makes me hungry, and not just on the day that I exercise. Ate more calories than I intended at lunch, and I am at least a couple hundred in the red tonight. So my current fix is a large glass of crystal light and a small bowl of pickled cucumbers and onions. Thank God I am married, I think I find my sweetie and give her a big kiss
BTW if you interested in the recipe
Slice a large cucumber ( I prefer the english variety so I don't have to peel it)
Thin slices of onion, I prefer red (bermuda) onions, but all I had in the fridge was a yellow
Toss of a couple of tablespoons of sugar (or artificial sweetener if you use it)
pour enough red wine vinegar (I grew up with cider vinegar, but I prefer the red wine) to get everything wet.
Tomato wedges are good, but didn't have any
Put in as sealed container shake real good to mix things up and put it in the fridge and turn it every once in a while, the longer the better.
Nutritional information? Haven't a clue.
Spent 4 days in Hawaii on a work assignment, and maintained my weight. The office was about a mile away, so I didn't get a car and walked to work each day. While my food choices could have been healthier, I listened to my band and life was good.
Went for a fill appointment this morning, talked over my hunger levels and loss history over he last month and the nurse suggested a .2 tweak, bringing me up to 4.9. So, liquids today, and mushies tomorrow. And I don't have to go back for a month.
I Corinthians 10:13 ESV
13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it
I have seen a common theme in the posts of new banders, and it is "I don't know if I can do this, what if I fail?" This where the I draw solace from the stories of our veterans, successful or not. I know that I am not going into uncharted territory, that someone has been there before me, faced the same issues as I will and they were successful, and if they were successful, I can be as well. It is also one of the reasons that I answer the posts that I do, not because I have all the answers (or really, any of them), but it is just to let people know that they aren't alone, that yes it sucks right now, but there is an end to it and they need to focus on their goal, they too can reach the other side.
Oh, and the verse also speaks to the care and control that God exercises in our lives, but that is a topic for a different blog
I still don't understand my body and why it does the things it does. I have slowly been building up my daily calories as I work through the mushie stage, my goal is 1300 a day. Well for some reason yesterday I just had the urge to graze, and the only way I kept my net calories at 1300 was to exercise. I wanted to eat all day long. Now today, I am having a hard time getting down 900 calories, I simply have not been hungry all day long. Add 550 calories of exercise on top and MFP is going to yell at me
Same foods, no emotional upsets, but my body is behaving totally different. It will be interesting to step on the scale tomorrow morning and see what other surprises my body has in store for me. This is one of the reason that while I am a firm believer in the burn more calories than you consume weight loss formula, I also believe that this is a "big picture" paradigm and only really works over the long term.
