4sweeties' Blog

1st month completed

I was banded December 19, 2012. Tomorrow will be January 19, 2013. My new lapband is still surreal. I was always unhappy with my weight from when I was in 5th grade on. (I remember not wanting to wear shorts in 5th grade so I suffered and wore pants on hot days). I was always embarassed in a bathing suit. I was a a very healthy weight at the time, but tall. My scale number was much hugher than my short friends and I just didn't like the high numbers. I was always active and athletic. My family was a healthy family who exercised together a lot. My Dad ran the NYC marathon, and the whole family would practice jogging with him after dinner (he went much farther than us but we alle exercised together). I was on the swim team in the summers and track during the school year. I played tennis and already had a gym membership as a young teenager. In high school I hated my "athletic body" with high numbers on the scale, but low BMI. I always wanted to be skinny. My senior year of college I started gaining weight. I went to doctors, a really good nutritionist (who I still see cited in articles when I read nutrition websites) and had a personal trainer at the gym. I gained ten pounds a year, and worked hard to maintain weight. I tried weight watchers and wanted to lose 10 percent (20 pounds at the time) and I didn't. I never lost. By the time I had all my children, and my youngest was sick, I gave up on exercising. I still paid monthly membership, but resented how much I had to work out to maintain, not lose, and deal with a sick child, healthy children, a traveling husband and working full time. Then I gave up on eating healthy. Why should I if my weight was so high. I never got into treats, cakes, cookies or chips. I would go to a fast food restaurant and not care. I went in for 2nds and 3rds at dinner. Then I went more often to fast food, even when I was alone. Then my weight crept up higher than my 9 month pregnancy weights! I know a lot of people on here, were able to lose but not keep it off. I felt like a failure for not even being able to lose. I never had the chance to see if I could keep it off. I always wanted to fit to be a healthy weight. I am the only overweight person in my family, extended family, circle of friends. Even at work, most people are a healthy weight. It's very lonely. I had never heard of lap band. Then when someone came to show me how to use my SLeep Apena machine. it came up in conversation that she had a lap band. I didn't ask many questions, but when she left I googled it like crazy. I wanted to be able to bike ride with my kids. Now they ride their bikes faster than I can walk, and I don't want them going out of my sight. I grew up hiking and bike riding with my family and loved it. I was upset I had to say ride your bike with Daddy. I wanted to join them in the fun, but the thought of getting my butt on a bike was horrible. I knew I wanted a change. A healthy weight for the rest of my life. I found a nice surgeon, who said I seem like a great candidate for it. It will be a tool to help me with portion control. I went to all my clearance appointments and got nervous and excited. 4 months later, I had my surgery. 2 weeks before surgery I lost a pound a day on the liquid diet. I was so happy to see the numbers on the scale go down. I don't remember the last time I saw the scale go down into the next 10's category. Then the first week I continued to lose a pound a day. I couldn't believe it! My hard work was paying off. Week 2 I didn't lose much but that was ok. The weight loss picked up again on the mushy phase. The first 3 days after surgery was painful, and I read many posts of people feeling fantastic. I was hoping I made the right decision and wouldn't regret putting an object in my body. By day 4 I felt so much better. It was all uphill from there. I got stuck 3 times on dry tuna fish from a pouch, and now the fear of the unknown is gone. I know what it feels like to have slime and be stuck. Now I am on solids. I love that I have a lap band. I love that my pants are looser and I even can go to the pile that I stopped wearing because even though I could get them on, they were too tight on the waist when I sat down. Now they are roomy! I get compliments on my eye make up and highlights (i think those people can't put their finger on what's different about me or don't want to mention weight loss) and many people say I look like I'm losing weight. Pre lap band I HATED weight compliments. Now I am comfortable with them. I lost about 15 pounds this first month, plus I like to add on my 13 pre op. I've never in my life lost 28 pounds, and now I did in 6 weeks. I know you shed the most in the beginning, but this is the best beginning I ever had!!! And I have more energy already. I feel really confident now and can't wait to see where this journey will lead me.

4sweeties

January 19, 2013

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