If I could talk to the old me, I would say………..
Amanda you are beautiful, but beauty is more than appearance. You have a strong heart and a strong mind and that is what makes you beautiful. The reality of the situation is, you are Morbidly Obese and at 277 pounds you could have some real heath issues if you don’t make a change. I promise you that once you start exercising you will love it, I know I do. The amount of stress that is release during a run or power walk will relax your mind and strengthen your heart. All of the negative energy and emotions that you are holding on to will be sweated out and literally washed down the shower drain. You kids will be impressed and encouraged by your strength, discipline, and the positive changes they see you making every day. Oh, and they will love all the cooking your doing. Others will be inspired by your pictures and your story, and one day you will complete a 5k run and it will be the best feeling you have experienced other than the birth of your children. I know your confidence is lower (hell, its non-existent) but you will slowly build it back up when you see changes happening in your body. What I’m saying is “You will have to get smaller, to become bigger.” Look in the mirror everyday and say I’m strong, I’m a survivor, and I’m me. Love ya!
What would you say?
Okay ladies I was worried about this one since he wanted to go to dinner. I was actually going to say "No” but I'm glad I didn't because I had an amazing time. Any of you who read my profile know that I was in an abusive relationship for over 9 years. So to have a man treat me like a Queen was wonderful. I was worried because "what if I ate to fast" or "what if I had a stuck episode"? But I prepared myself by looking at the menu online before meeting him at the restaurant so I already knew what was on the menu and what I would order. And during dinner I just remembered to take small bites and chew, chew, chew, and chew some more lol. Things went perfect. Although I didn't finish my meal, so I hope he doesn't think I was wasteful but all in all it was a great night!!!! Loving the new me!!!!
We all come into this world as blank canvases waiting for the various colors of life to be painted into our world. As children, our first knowledge of who we are comes from our parents. If our parents continue to feed us positive affirmations of our worth and value, we tend to grow with a positive self-esteem. However, if we are told over and over again that we are nothing and that we won’t amount to much in life, we will begin to believe this is true. As a child I used to hear people say, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This is not true. Even the bible tells us that the tongue can both cut and heal. We must be careful what we say to others, especially children.
Accepting Oneself
We live in a time when accepting who we are can be difficult. Most of us compare ourselves to unrealistic standards set by advertising agencies, movie stars and the lives of the rich and famous. What we fail to realize, is that oftentimes these standards are a facade like movie sets on the lot of a studio. They represent a “front” with no real substance, constantly having to be propped up because they can’t stand on their own. I’ve had the opportunity many times to talk to people that others would often admire or envy. What I have discovered is, the very people we put on pedestals would love to trade places with people that could be classified as ordinary. I have learned that we must be careful what we desire because many times what we think we are running to, is often what we are running from.
Historically in the African American Community, the subject or discussion of “self esteem” has carried mixed emotions. When we look up the definition of self-esteem in the dictionary, we see that it means belief in oneself. We know that if we do not believe in ourselves and what we do, neither will anyone else. However, oftentimes people confuse “belief” in oneself with “vanity.” If we look at success models over time, the ones that have truly made a difference were those who not only accepted who they were, but did so with pride. Many who have left their mark on history were those who had to stand-alone or convince others to see things their way. It is important for you to know 1) who you are, 2) understand where you have come from and 3) determine where you want to go, if you are ever going to accept who you are to be.
Knowing Who You Are
When I was a little girl my grandmother would often say, never let anyone tell you who you are. I have a friend who always says, “never let anyone call you out of your name.” We have all heard the saying, “if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” I believe that it is very important to know what you stand for in life. When I speak at various functions around the country, I often share with people that it is important for you to know your meaning in life, so that you can prepare your message, in order to carry out your mission. When you know and understand your purpose and why you are here, it is much easier for you to accept who you are and the person that God has made you to be. We are all pieces of a puzzle that fit together to make a beautiful picture. If we are constantly trying to be someone else, we will not “fit” into the spot that has “our” name on it.
If you are currently struggling with who you are, what you look like or comparing yourself with others, I urge you to do the following three steps.
Empowerment Points:
Write down on a piece a paper, all of the positive things that have happened in your life over the past year. If you can’t think of any let me give you a few suggestions. You have your health, a roof over your head, a job, a sound mind, and people that care about you. I heard a minister once say that if you count all your blessings, it will be hard to be depressed.
Make a list of all the positive things that people say about you. Once again, let me give you a few suggestions; she really has a nice personality, she has really nice skin, she is so thoughtful, she’s really a kind person. Maybe people comment on your discipline to work out, or your compassion for others. Never underestimate the gifts that God has given you, to make you unique. Remember, one man’s junk is another man’s treasure. What you would easily throw away, others would take in a minute. I had a friend once tell me that she thought I had the gift of hospitality and encouragement. I thought to myself “what kind of gift is that?” Growing up in church, I wanted the gift of singing or playing the piano or something that the other girls had. Little did I know that the gifts of hospitality and encouragement would be the very way I would live my life and help others today.
Finally, make what I call a “wish” list. Write down the things that you would like to have or accomplish and then set a reasonable timetable to begin making them happen. The key here is to make sure you set realistic goals or expectations. Don’t wish that you were 5’11 if you are 4’9. But if you’ve always wanted red hair and your hair is brown, dye it! If you want a better body, diet and exercise. Just make sure whatever standards you set, you are doing it for yourself and that it is what you want, not what others say you should be.
Remember that we are all little kids in adult bodies. We all get up in the morning and put our underwear on one leg at a time. We all have good days and bad days. The next time you look into the mirror, say to yourself that you are wonderfully and beautifully made just the way you are. God does not make junk!
http://www.blackwomenshealth.com/
Amanda Out!
Beautiful Brown Baby Doll is a YouTuber who lost 100 pounds. Now she is not a band patient, she lost her weight with diet and exercise but she is still has been an inspiration to me during my journey. Please watch this video A Message to a “Fat Girl” where she has written a very beautiful letter to her former "fat self". It really made me think. If I wrote a letter to the old me, what would it say? What would yours say? Enjoy!
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=PxUAqahMozw&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DPxUAqahMozw
This is another video from Beautiful Brown Baby Doll she is a YouTuber who lost 100 pounds. Now she is not a band patient, she lost her weight with diet and exercise but she is still has been an inspiration to me during my journey. Please watch this video “Your skinny is not My Skinny” in the video she explains how you should do what is best for your body and not follow the crowd or the next BIG DIET FAD. We are all different and you have to listen to your own body! Enjoy!
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=5B5pbsKVEMI&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D5B5pbsKVEMI
Amanda Out!
