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About this blog

Just thoughts, things, and musings about my 6 month pre-surgery journey and beyond.

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The word No.. Day 6

"You cant be afraid of what people will feel at the expense of what you feel." - Steve Harvey   I was half asleep with the TV on when I heard Steve Harvey say this. The topic on his show today is being able to tell other people no. It got me thinking, "Do I say NO enough?" Kids wanna borrow money, if I have it I give it to them. When my friends want to borrow something, I usually say yes. When it comes to compromise it seems that I was always the one bending over backwards to accommodate everyone but myself. Then I decided 6 months ago that I was going to do something for me.   I might revisit this topic above at another time.. but for right now I think I will just talk about how I am feeling. Today makes day 6. How do I feel? gurgly hahahaha My stomach is gurgling and talking bubbles. Which is a good thing, my incision sites are not sore anymore and I slept partly on my side last night. (I did cheat though and took some of my lovely liquid codeine to help me sleep) Before I completely woke up this morning I got Bret (who was already up, thanks DD2) to bring me my medication so I could take it the correct way, no chewing up the pills and before I got up and started moving around. I have discovered I am going to take the blood pressure meds a little later in the day, and the thyroid soon as I get up with an empty stomach..haha but as it is now its an empty stomach all darn day!! I got me 2 popsicles, some chicken broth, a lime jello and a small cup of Gatorade....and that was breakfast. This liquid diet is murder, but I can say I do not have any diarrhea. So if that's what it takes then ok. But right now I would fight a wild pack of dogs for just one scrambled egg and a slice of toast.   I guess I can tie in the whole no thing after all. For my health, for my healing I have to say NO. To myself, to my kids, to people who want something from me right now. It's not gonna happen. I have to put myself first right now and heal, then I can go back to being the pushover that I once was..lol
txflea

txflea

2
 

November 1, 2012 Being Thankful

I am going to write down every day one thing that I am very thankful for. So here goes.   I am thankful for both my girls. I consider them both my greatest achievement in life. They are the two best things I have ever done. They are the reason I am wanting to lose weight, so they will be proud of me. So that I can do more things with them and enjoy it instead of being tired and just wanting to sit.
txflea

txflea

1
 

Motivation.... Day 8

I have none this morning, the most exciting thing I have done this morning was download the blogger app to my phone.   I do not want to get out of bed, I do not want to go ''start the day''.   I think it started yesterday, wait, actually yesterday I had motivation. I got up, took a nice long shower and felt so wonderful!! I went to the Dr. too. Got cleared off bed rest, got cleared to drive, found out when I could start exercising, when I can start water aerobics, and got cleared off the clear liquid diet I think its a little soon, but I have introduced yogurt and last night I introduced soup...YES SOUP. I had chicken and potato soup, bullet'ed, strained, and 1/2 cup. OMG it was soo good, I was full but gassy the rest of the night so I think I am going to reign it back in some and stick with the yogurt and some blander foods before going back to a richer soup again.     I slept good last night! Which is a big plus. I have avoided the scale. When I went in to see the Dr. yesterday I didn't look on the scale to see what it says, I don't wanna know yet. I think I want to concentrate on NSV (Non Scale Victories) before I start stressing over what the scale says.     My fingers feel thin today, I know that sounds strange but my fingers don't feel swollen I guess is a better way to say it.     Well the chickens and Ducks wait for no woman so I am going to get up and get moving.     Hope everyone has a great day!!     Write tomorrow.
txflea

txflea

2
 

Happy Fathers Day!! Day 10

Today I made a HUGE FEAST for Fathers Day!!   I made; ranchy bacon potatoes, baked beans, corn on the cob (in the husks, straight on the pit) chicken leg quarters, ribs, and 2 different types of sausage, (pork with venison and pico de gallo sausage), home made chocolate ice cream (sugar free!) and turtle ice cream cake.   There was also buffalo ranch dip and chips and fresh brewed ice tea.   I had 1/2 cup split pea soup blended in my bullet and 2 bites of the potato ranch dressing chewed, chewed, chewed, chewed, till it was mush. (there was no onion or bacon in the 2 bites, just potato)   Then about an hour later, after I cleaned up the entire kitchen and put everything up in the refrigerator, I had 1/3 cup of the sugar free chocolate ice cream!   I am pretty damn proud of myself because ribs and chicken are my two most favorite bbq items. Especially since I made the bbq sauce and seasoned the ribs and chicken, but I resisted. I considered taking some bites of each, chewing them up and spitting them out (I know that's called dumping), but I didn't do it!!   Yeah me!   Now I am sitting here watching Rediculousness and feeling pretty good about myself. I am so nerdy.   Anyways I hope everyone else had a great Fathers Day!!
txflea

txflea

2
 

Grrr... Day 11

Ok I feel like a total failure today. I'm lightheaded Yesterday I felt great!! Today I am right back to the light headedness When does this get better? I am going to look into the vertigo meds that were suggested the other day, but I was soo happy yesterday, I felt absolutely wonderful! I woke up feeling great, ate some cottage cheese, then boom... the vertigo/light headedness sets in. SMDH.. Ugh!   But on the plus side...kinda, My shorts are usually very snug, but yesterday I could pull them off and on without even unbuttoning them! I was like YEAAAAH!! So this morning I figured I would hop on the scale (after my bm of course) to see what happiness the scale was going to show..... NOT. A. DAMN. CHANGE. I know, I know. This is an NSV. Before the shorts were snug on me and I had to unbutton them to go to the bathroom, now I can just ''pull them down'' and they are loose. That is a good thing, and yes you can lose inches without losing weight. I know that. It's just frustrating because I feel I hardly eat ANYTHING and it's not showing where I want it to. I think I am going to go back to using myfitnesspal so I can keep track of how many calories I am eating.   Oh and to top it off, we have no water in our house. The city that I live in decided that we have a leak somewhere in my neighborhood and shut the water off. No warning, no nothing. Just don't flush!!   Boy I am just a ray of freaking sunshine this morning huh?   I will try to amend this post this evening with something positive that's happened today... but until them BLAH!
txflea

txflea

2
 

Day 9... IDK how I feel today

Lets start with yesterday, I went to Houston with the girls to get parts for Bret. We hit traffic coming and going, so we spent a lot of time in the car. We ate at my favorite place, Panara Bread. I am pretty proud of myself, I had clam chowder. About a cup of it with no bread. But I was not thinking and when I did my drink I forgot about the straw. So I was sore from sitting in the car for so long and gassy from the straw. Not a good mix. I actually went home and took some gas-x and some pain meds I was so miserable. Now I wake up this morning and I was hungry. So I went and got me some yogurt and ate that slowly. Plus I'm drinking my water and IDK if its the water or if it was the yogurt, but I feel nauseated. Maybe I need to get up and move around, that might make my stomach settle down. Who knows.   I am just tired of the dizzy feeling that keeps coming and going. I have always hated feeling light headed, and this is not cutting it. I think I am going to go get me some chewable multivitamins. I originally had a liquid multivitamin, and it was very very NASTY and strong. Just the smell made me feel ill, and that was before the surgery. I could not imagine trying to take it after.   I also have to start getting ready for Fathers Day tomorrow. I'm not sure what I am going to get DH, but I have a general idea. He wants a BBQ, and I'm not looking forward to that, I'm trying to think of things I could actually eat. lol Since I am still on the stage 2 liquids I am thinking SOUP....sigh.   Right now I think I would kill someone for some fish. Just some baked fish, I literally dreamed about it last night!! But Next week makes week 2 and I can go to smooshies. So I am looking forward to some potatoes, or some eggs!   Hope everyone has a great day! And to all you awesome dad's, HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!
txflea

txflea

3
 

Day 5..Should have listened :(

Well, I guess that's how I have to start this out.... I woke up this morning feeling pretty good. First night I slept through the night and comfortable, woke feeling fresh and good. Then it went downhill. I awoke around 10, which is rare for me since I am usually up bright and early. My daughter got here by 10:30 and we went to go get me a protein shake, I was feeling a little antsy and shaky but I just figured it was from not eating anything yet or having anything to drink. Got my shake and took my aloe vera shot, and my lemon green tea, and my shake and dug in. Took the shot, and stared on the shake. Came home and had 4 oz. of my shake on top of what I had eaten on my way back home. And drank all the lemon green tea. Then I had a bm. It was diarrhea. And to top it off I was feeling a little more shaky and nausea set in. I figured I was hungry. (it had been about an hour since I had eaten, so I made some Soup on the Go Cream of Broccoli and measured it out, 4 oz. ate it slowly and had to go to the restroom again... another bm more diarrhea. By this point I was feeling suuuper light headed, shaky, faint, and nauseous. I called my Dr. and talked to the nurse explaining to her what was going on and if she could get me some nausea meds called in. They called me in something for nausea, and told me start drinking Gatorade. Lots and lots of Gatorade, and to take some Pepto and the nausea meds, and to come in and see the Dr. at 9am. 1st appointment. After I took the medicine and drank about 3 cups (8oz) of Gatorade, I started feeling human then. I am now peeing very clear urine and since the pepto no more bm's. I am still feeling a little light headed but but no more nausea and the nurse said I could scramble up an egg and have a half of toast, just make sure its mushy and wet. Or I could have some malt-o-meal. I sent darling daughter to the store to get me some malt-o-meal and more Gatorade. So I am not perfect like I think I am, and I need to be more in tune with my body instead of thinking everything was going to go back to the way it was.   My new mantra for today is ......
txflea

txflea

1
 

Day 4 and feeling better

Hello all!! Today makes day 4 for me. It's been pretty exciting! I woke up this morning with no pain. I almost cried, I was so happy. Then I moved, and the gas woke up..lol I think my Dr. wanted to make me a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Balloon, he filled me with so much gas. But I have been laying with the heating pad, walking, and sitting up a lot in bed. My urine is a weird pink-ish yellow-ish brown. Not dark, but I have increased my water intake. At first I was afraid to even drink water because I was soo positive it would get stuck or something. I have discovered as long as I don't gulp it and give it a few seconds between drinks I can actually drink quite a bit of water, that makes me happy I'm only doing 4 oz every 30 minutes or so, but I think that's a good start. I don't feel like I have water belly or that I am stretching anything. And when I drink water it makes me burp, so its a win-win situation! Also, this morning when I got up I had sinus drainage and you know how that makes you feel nauseated. I tried some chicken broth, didn't help, water didn't help, nausea bracelet and drops didn't help so I went and made me a protein shake, only had about 2 oz of it, but it got rid of the nauseous feeling. I know some people have said they were on clear liquids for 2 weeks then the solid liquids for 2 weeks then on week 5 onto smushies. I have gone over my paperwork over and over, and it doesn't specify when I am suppose to start stage 2 liquids, but I had to have something this morning. it was either put something in there or throw up. And I DONT want to throw up!   **Oh happy news** I just had my first bm post surgery!! YEAAAHHH!! No straining, I think the protein shake helped move the mail.   I am going to stop with the pain medication, I am not a big fan of pain meds anyways, I don't like the way they make me feel but they are great for sleeping! I have liquid Tylenol for the minor cramps and ickies so that should be good. If not I still have the other,   One thing I am going to to today is shower!!! I feel nasty. hahaha   anyways I will try to write here every day about how my journey is going.   :wub:Later Taters
txflea

txflea

4
 

Day 19 and too much excitement the past 2 days!

It's been 5 days since I have written and well as the top post implies, it has been an EXCITING 2 days. And not in a good way.   My daughter has a dog named Tank, beautiful white pit bull puppy, he is about 6 months old. Well he has been feeling punk the past few days, and my daughter was very worried. She doesn't have the money so I told her I would pay for him to go to the vet. We figured he just had garbage gut (he LOVES to knock over trash cans and see what booty they have in store)   Well a fecal exam later and he has parvo. Talk about freak out time, they wanted 500 dollars up front to keep him and shes in tears. I'm trying to call Bret to get the ok to use the funds, she gets a hold of her bff who works at another vet's office, and they said for 200 deposit they would keep him. Now the only problem with that is we are an hour away...and of course they close in 45 minutes.   I think I broke every speed barrier to get him to that vet's office.   Now what has me freaking out is she brought him over only 2 days before this, and he and my newest addition were playing, and they were in the same kennel. My baby Tildy is current on all her shots, but she only had 2 of the parvo shots, she was scheduled to get the third one next week. I called my vet and we went and got the shot today. Plus her rabies and bordetella. And we set up the appointment to come back in three weeks to get another booster to be on the safe side and to have her spayed.   She is 3 days from the day of exposure and I have to watch until Monday. If she shows no symptoms by Monday she should be good to go. She's being her usual active self, but I am soo paranoid I am afraid I am over watching her.   We just got a call from the vet, Tank is reacting well with the medications, he's alert, he's active, and he has not thrown up since yesterday. (He never had the diarrhea, thank God) and they are moving him from ISO to another area (its still isolation but a little more friendly) He has to be kept calm because he has tried to remove his IV now twice from being excited. So we are guardedly optimistic. If he keeps improving the way he's going, he will be able to come home by Thursday. But he cannot go ''visiting'' for a looong while.   Yesterday we bleached my entire house. Twice. We also bleached my front steps and back steps and porches. Today I did the back yard... and I have not finished it yet. But I got most of it. I have to go get another water hose and I also have to go get more bleach. I have a large back yard and so far I have used 1 and a half big bottles of bleach on the area's I can reach with the hose. I still have to do my front yard and the rest of the back. It's also 90+ degrees outside so I think I am going to wait a little longer to let it cool off. I let my dogs out (I have 5 total, but the others are all over a year old and up to date on all their shots) and I kept them in the area that I had already sprayed.   Now its time for lunch...haha the real reason for my blog.       That my dear friends is 8oz. of Chef Prepared Turkey salad with Cranberries (thats what the little dark things are, its not rabbit poo) I was very skeptical at first but omg it was really tasty, and only 215 calories according to MFP.   I am still boycotting the scales, I do have a NSV. I have a pair of capris I bought a while back. They are size 20W and they were suuuper tight. I have them on right now and they are LOOSE!   Anyways I will keep you updated TTFN
txflea

txflea

0
 

Day 14

Happy Happy Joy Joy!!   Another day and no nausea, no dizzyness. I honestly believe I needed real food, not just liquids. And I swear I will never eat another potato again for the rest of my life! lol Potato soup, mashed potatoes.. etc. You actually burn out of it.   I am now concentrating on getting in my protein and not really worrying about the calories. I have been keeping a tab and as it stands I have been eating close to 1000 to 1100 calories a day. Which is way less than what I was eating before. I kept a week of just plain eating on My Fitness Pal and I was consuming anywhere between 2200 to 3000 calories a day. So I think what I am consuming is pretty good. I just need to get over my fear of beef and fresh veggies.   I have been reading on the forum about the ''getting stuck'' and its scaring the hell out of me!!! I know its inevitable, but its giving me a panic attack and I have not even got stuck yet. Just the thought of it freaks me out.   That much pain? And no way to make it go away? PB's (still don't know what that means) and projectile vomiting, foaming at the mouth, slime... I am not sure if I am going to become a zombie, die from asphyxiation, or crawl into a freaking corner and just cry.   Seriously the more I talk about this the more panicked I am getting. I knew all about this before I got the band, but I think now that I have it and the fact that it could happen has finally set into my mind IM SCARED POOPLESS!!   I guess I will just have to cross that bridge when I get there, but I have been given some good advice. DO NOT DRINK WATER TO TRY TO ''UNSTICK'' YOUR FOOD. It will make you feel worse. One member told me that their dietician told them to make sure to have some ''fizzy'' drink on hand, and to be standing over a sink, a toilet, whatever when you consume it because its gonna come right back up.   Ok... I am stressing now enough. I think I am going to go to bed.   I am posting a 4 part picture of what I ate tonight. Hope you enjoy it  
txflea

txflea

2
 

Day 13 and Bored :/

Well, everyone is going on vacation, going to the water parks, going somewhere. Me I'm here at home, no plans, no money.   All my vacation money went to this surgery. It's going to work damn it!   I'm kinda worried I didn't stay on that "food plan" that the hospital gave me. I kinda pushed it up a little bit. Ok by a lot actually. I am logging my food, every sip, every bite. I'm not going over 1200 calories, and when you factor in how much my stomach actually holds I'm really not even eating that much. More like 1000 calories.   DH and I just ate at Luby's. I wish I would have taken a before and after food plate. I did take a before.. Well the after pretty much looked the same almost. And I am full. Take a luann plate and cut it in half and that's actually a little more than what I am eating. Lol.       I'm full but not uncomfortably. The burping is what's getting me lol I always thought people who burp were like ogres, now I'm like Fiona! I'm making Shrek look like a gentleman! Haha!   I am so bored, I think I have cabin fever, IDK what the summer version of that would be, but that's what I have.   I had fish again for dinner! This time it was baked salmon and leftover squash and peas from yesterday. This made me FULL!! Salmon size is 1/2 of a small strip (about 2 oz), 1/3 cup peas, 1/3 cup squash.       I'm proud of myself too, I remembered to take all my vitamins! yeah me!   I'm now getting ready to go to bed, I hope tomorrow is just as good
txflea

txflea

1
 

Day 12

Well today is a good day so far!!   Yesterday I kept an eye on my blood pressure all day, and every time I started feeling dizzy I went and checked it. It was running 115/76 or 123/77. In that range, which makes me happy because that was without blood pressure meds. My pulse was a little high, but at the same time Yeaaaah on the blood pressure being low!   Today I woke up at 10!! That is soo unusual for me. For the past 6 months I have been an early riser, not because I wanted to, but because that's just how I woke up on my own. So today was a total treat to me. Although not to my animals. The chicks and ducks were ready to be let out of their pens, and the dogs were ready to be let outside to go potty!   I ate 1/2 cup of cottage cheese, Yummm!! And for lunch I made en egg omelet. My first real ''food''. 2 small brown free range chicken eggs, 1 tbs of heavy cream, about 1/4 tsp of green onion, 1 tbs of pre-cooked bacon, and 1/3 cup of mozzarella cheese.   Took me almost 40 minutes to eat it but I did Sloooww and steady wins the race! I am now in my 30 minutes of no water after eating. I got 15 minutes to go. and after I eat I don't feel dizzy, which is a total plus!   This evening when it cools off some I am going to go outside and transplant my lavender, my rosemary, and maybe some of my German and lemon thyme into some smaller pots so I can bring them in and out of the house. Right now they are sitting in my outside raised bed garden, and the sun is doing a number on them. Ahhhh summer's in South Coast Texas. I am also thinking this evening I am going to make for dinner; pork chops, fresh green beans from the garden, and some grilled squash........ I personally will be having 1 cup of split pea soup blended into oblivion.   I might even make some home made bread... mmmm maybe not. I don't want to push myself too hard. I'm feeling good right now, I don't want to jinx it.   I hope everyone has a great day!
txflea

txflea

1
 

Back in the hospital

Woke up with diarrhea and nausea then went to dizzy and it won't go away. Back in hospital for observation and iv fluid push. New quote for the day is Dorey - just Kee swimming just keep swimming!       ****UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE****   I'm out of the hospital back home and put back on the clear liquid diet. I'm still a little light headed but not like before. I am to see the Dr. again Thursday and if the diarrhea keep up take Pepto Bismol (or Imodium, I have Pepto) and if I become nauseous then take a nausea pill. Sleep and rest, sleep and rest is the main thing he said for me to do.  
txflea

txflea

4
 

3 Days Banded and in pain

Today is day 3 of being banded. I am eating jello, popsicles, broth, water, and I have some sugar free apple juice. Oh and ice, LOTS of ice.   I am so gassy its miserable, I bought the gas-x strips extra strength and they are doing no good. I dont know if its gas, or if its the band that is hurting but its a sharp stabbing pain right in the center of my back where my bra strap would sit. My incisions are itchy and sore but IDK what they look like, they are still bandaged up. If I lay down to take a nap and actually get some sleep when I wake up I feel awesome, then I move and that sharp pain comes right back. It's not there continuously it comes and goes. Hubby says its all the gas they filled me with. Ugh I cant stand it. I stayed over night in the hospital after my surgery, there was no way in hell I could have gotten in a car and drove home. NO WAY. I was in some serious pain!! But it seems to get a little better each day. I go outside and walk my back yard in laps. My back yard is about 1/10 of a mile all the way around. And I walk it at least 3 times. Someone else can do the math, I am not in the mood.. but I know its enough to make me have a small sweat (no, couldnt be the 100% humidity) and I come back in and I feel better. My daughter and I took my measurements today, and I need to take my ''fat'' picture. I'm not a religious person, and I am known to ramble but here is my prayer;   Lord, please help this gas pass out of my body, let this band be the tool that I need to get my life back, please help me when I am falling and help me find the strength to overcome this and get through to the other side. - Amen.
txflea

txflea

6
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