After several years (about 10 years) of being overweight I have decided to do something for myself.
I was involved in a bad car accident in 2001 and in that accident a lot of things happened that contributed in my weight gain. In the accident my mother and aunt were killed (and I was the one driving), I suffered a badly broken arm (humerus) and head injury that left me with a seizure disorder. For 3-4 years after the accident they struggled trying to find medications to control the seizures, I was dealing emotionally with the loss of my mom and aunt and the guilt of being the one driving and then I was told I wasn't able to work anymore. I wasn't allowed to drive so I never got out of the house. Plus, I was afraid to go anywhere because I was afraid of having a seizure in front of people. So my life became very restricted. I never left the house, and I found comfort in food. Since the accident I have gained around 100 pounds.
My seizures are now pretty much under control. I have been working a few days a month and have started getting out with my friends and family again. The problem now is I hate that I am overweight! People judge by what they see without knowing everything that is going on. I know when people see me there are people who think I'm lazy and if I really wanted to lose weight I would do something about it. This is why only a few people, who are close to me, even know about my surgery.
I have tried diet after diet and I fail every time. I do great in the beginning and then something happens and I just quit losing. I have worked with personal trainers, dietitian, and my doctors and I have them puzzled too. I have tracked my exercise and my food. I have tried to do everything right and then I fail. I have been so frustrated and have decided I need help.
So, in August I went to my first informational meeting for the lap band surgery. When I was there they went over all the different procedures that are available, the Band, the sleeve, and the bypass. When I left I had decided the band wasn't a choice for me and that I would choose the sleeve. The doctors basically said the sleeve wasn’t very successful and that the sleeve was a much better choice. I had a visit with the surgeon and he told me all the ins and outs of the surgery and what to expect afterwards. I had my cardiology clearance, my phych clearance and then I had to see the nutritionist. Andrea was great and she basically told me about my current diet and what would change. Then we had a group meeting where they went more in detail about EXACTALLY what we should and shouldn’t eat, portion sizes, what will happen with each surgery, etc.
I guess after all these meetings and really spending time researching each type of surgery I got really scared. With the sleeve they actually remove the majority of your stomach. WOW!!! That is permanent ....they can't put it back. Also, Andrea said that in the future if you need a feeding tube (for whatever reason) they would be unable to do one if you have had the sleeve. (She gave the example of being in a car accident and breaking your jaw and having to have your mouth wired shut and not being able to eat.) That hit me like a TON of bricks.
The bypass forms a pouch and they reroute the intestines which changes your absorption. This means I might not be able to absorb my seizure meds correctly and I could be back to the drawing board trying to find a combination that would keep my seizures under control.
So, after long consideration I just have a bad feeling about the sleeve and bypass so even though my doc's don’t care for the results of the band I believe this is the right choice for me. I know weight loss will be slower, and I know the complications that could happen but in my mind they are a lot less than the other two choices.
I am now waiting for the Sleep clearance (had the sleep study just waiting to be 30 days on C-Pap will see doc next week.) and then they will schedule my surgery.
My biggest fear about all this is that somehow I will fail again. I have support from my family and my friends but I have failed so many times before I just can't imagine being successful.
I am only 43, I’m too young to have the medical problems I have that are cause by being overweight. I have high blood pressure, heart arrhythmias, feet, ankle and knee problems and low self-esteem. All these can be changed by having this surgery. I know this is the thing I need to do to and this is the First Steps, reaching out to people who know what I am struggling with. People who don’t judge someone by their weight and people who want to help other be successful. I am glad I found this site and I look forward to sharing with you my next steps of success.
Thanks EVERYONE!
