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Worst case senario

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Worst Case Senario!

I was banded December 31, 2011. Yes, almost 8 months ago. To this day I have not lost not one freaking pound! So I'm desperate and thought I would start a blog to get some support and motivating encouragement. I went in for my SIXTH fill today and had my band completely deflated. The PA found that where we thought all along I had around 9 cc's I really only had 6 in a 14cc band! She refilled and provided and extra cc so I am now up to 7cc's. Ok so I can't just sit here and claim that it has been the band's fault all these months. I have tested my band and tested it well believe me. I have never been able to throw up but I have gone so far that I have gagged myself for an hour to no avail. I can no longer physically throw up since getting banded. I have to admit, I've eaten really super bad some days and hardly anything on other days but never really felt the restrictive help that the band is supposed to provide. I understand it is a tool and I'm not here for pity or blame, I am here to learn how to retrain a brain that has overeaten emotionally, stressfully, joyfully, celebratory, and all occasionally. I have eaten like this for 25 years. I guess I wanted the band so badly that I didn't really prepare myself like I know now I should have. I wanted the band for years and thought I did all the homework and really actually believed that the fat and weight would just magically melt away within a years time. Well how bad was I in for massive disappoinment? As of today I am owning up. I can say with true conviction that I have not worked hard and have not tried to lose weight. I think I have done all I can to self sabbotage. Even on my way home from getting filled I grabbed some Arby"s for myself and my kids. I just need to stop! I know that I want it. There is no doubt about that! But where do I begin and how do I maintain? Let me just start with where do I begin at this point? I would never be one to ask for it but.....help.....   Ahlam        
Ahlamie

Ahlamie

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