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True Insanity? Perhaps...

This is my first blog on here so I'll start with an intro - I can't guarantee it will be quick but wth - it's my blog so who cares, right? I'm 30 - yep pretty young... I'm a mom of two girls who exude awesomeness and I'm married to my own prince charming (who is supportive of my weight loss efforts but is sad to see my chunkiness go) :wub: ... and I LOVE smileys LOL. I used to be "normal" weight of 125lbs at 5'1... up until I was about 23/24 and then my thyroid broke... one doctor found a nodule in it and I started having a bunch of funky symptoms (you know the usual - tired, fast weight gain, depression, cold all the time, hair falling out, etc...), well that doctor left the practice and the new doctor did blood work and told me I was fine - I just needed to eat less and walk more and after all I was "getting older" (yeah I was 24 when she said this - I still hate her )... I listened and I dieted - I did a boot camp class, Weight Watchers, and a bunch of other crap... and I just kept gaining... I kept going in and complaining and she kept saying the same thing so finally I just gave up... Fast foward to age 28 and I was somewhere over 200 lbs (I stopped getting on the scale at 200 because I couldn't handle seeing the number anymore) and I went to the doctor because I was sick... saw a new doctor at the practice because mine was on vacation and as she reviewed my chart first thing she wanted to know was why my thyroid had been untreated for the last 4+ years... apparently I was hypothyroid the whole time and I'd gained at least 80 lbs to show for it ...   Long story short... It's been two years since I've been diagnosed - I've done Weight Watchers two more times, low calorie diets, the 17 day diet, simply starved myself, and Phentermine. Today I weigh 175 lbs, my thyroid is now regulated but I still can't lose weight without starving and as soon as I return to normal portions I gain the weight I lost back.   Now here's where the insanity begins... I have incredible health insurance but of course bariatric surgery is one of the five exclusions on my policy - so I decided to pick up my husband's insurance as secondary coverage to get it paid for since here in the DC Metro area we're talking out of pocket costs of $50K without insurance... Well after I joined his insurance I found out that while my current BMI of 33 qualifies medically for Lap Band, the insurance will not pay for it unless my BMI is 35 which is a difference of 10 pounds! Yes, 10 d@mn pounds!!! So... since my doctor has told me to have surgery or have diabetes and I don't have $50K, I'm on what I'm calling my "fat girl swag" and trying to gain 10 pounds as fast as possible... yep its crazy but in my opinion, so is being 50 lbs overweight because your doctor screwed up for 4 years! In my weight gain journey (which is about a week old), I've quickly learned one thing... I'm not overweight because of how I eat - I'm truly overweight because of my thyroid and it sucks royally! I'm actually having to work at eating more than 2K calories a day and it's almost amusing!   I'm meeting with the surgeon on Monday for my initial consult to start the process since there's about a 3-4 month process with my secondary insurance and I'm anxious to see how weigh in goes with him... I'm not sure if I'll weigh with clothes on or in a gown and what his scale will say... I know my primary care doctor's scale seems to always be about 4lbs higher than mine so if that's the case I'm really only about 6lbs away... Despite being nervous I can't weight to begin starting over and returning to who I used to be...
barbi1281

barbi1281

2
 

Sleep Study Done... And The Waiting Begins...

Per the surgeon I had my sleep study last night to see if I have apnea... I already have my comorbidity but this will rubber stamp it with the insurance just in case and apparently needs to be treated prior to surgery anyway. The study wasn't nearly as bad as I expected... I didn't sleep much the night before so I was asleep about 15 minutes after I hit the bed but I woke up about 4 times that I'm aware of and apparently a bunch more times that I was unaware of according to the tech. She said my REM was extremely brief because I kept waking up and going right back to sleep. I'm waiting on my official results but from everything I've read today, it looks like I probably do have apnea. Ah well... one more thing to add to the list .   I meet with my surgeon again on the 6th to see where we go from here... and I have my first of 3 nutrition classes tomorrow evening. I'm still shooting for being banded in October unless told otherwise on the 6th. That will give me enough time to recover and be some form of "normal" before my kids' birthdays in late December/early January when I have to be in full blown super mom mode. Speaking of kids... I just want to say how awesome my girls are... My oldest daughter (she's 11) and I have talked a lot about this surgery and I'm glad to have her and her sister. I know that when I'm recovering she'll be my biggest helper and if I'm struggling with choices she'll be my biggest promoter.   On the asthma front things are still rough but I'm figuring as long as I go to sleep and wake up it's still an ok day I guess. This whole thing is really frustrating because most asthma is not like this so I feel like no one understands... The Prednisone that they put me on has helped some but is making me a complete and a and my husband doesn't quite understand. The result is we're barely talking and right now I need him most. It hurts because I'm going through so much and I feel so alone. I feel like 2012 was supposed to finally be my year after having too many bad ones and it's all falling apart at once...   Back to the regular doc tonight to discuss my asthma again... I've got some ideas that I want to try on the meds since I've made some improvement but I'm still having several bad attacks a week. We'll see what she says... If what I'm thinking works, I'll start to feel a whole lot better and will not be adding any meds - just swapping two for two different ones and maybe even cutting one of my copays.
barbi1281

barbi1281

0
 

Of Lap Bands And Child Birth

So who knew that this could be more stressful than having a baby? Yep I said it! I've got two and I don't remember being this stressed out... perhaps I don't remember properly... after all there is a lot of that going on lately but OMG I'm really stressed today. This is insane... I'm already ADD and now I really can't focus... Need to work but can't... this is just painful...   I'm meeting with Dr. Brebbia today at 1 for my first appointment. I guess this is my first weigh in... I've been working (or shall I say eating) my tail off to prep for this appointment and according to my scale this morning all that work has paid off (see my first post for an explanation of this if you're curious)... now if I can just stay out of the bathroom. Apparently, my body's response to stress is to go, go, go... and I really need to keep everything in right now because as it stands, I'm just barely going to make weight.   I guess I'm just posting here to get it out somewhere... I really need my husband to call me (he works outside so I can do is text and wait for him to call back)... I need to calm down... I need to scream... I feel like so much is riding on how this meeting goes and what the insurance company says because I need to get healthy... I'm only 30 and I'm sick of being sick and I'm afraid that without some kind of help I'm not going to see 40 and my girls are just too young for that possibility ,
barbi1281

barbi1281

1
 

My First Visit & Other Goings On

Well, I'm posting again so I guess that means I survived, right? I managed to weigh in at 181.9 which put me at a BMI of 35.5... apparently I have to maintain this weight though because my surgeon says that Cigna is going to go by the weight that I am when the paperwork is submitted so my current motto is to "gain or maintain". Yep, I'm off my rocker but when you're 30 and your prescription drug list reads like an essay what do you do?   Next big hurdle is waiting to hear from the patient coordinator who is contacting the insurance to see if any of my comorbidities qualify me with my BMI and I'm having a sleep study on July 23rd as a back up plan (apparently I have 4 of the 6 main symptoms of sleep apnea)... I think it's quite funny that at 30 (yes I keep harping on my age because I'm too young to be this d@mn sick) I have hypothyroidism, metabolic syndrome, severe asthma, anemia, GERD, osteoarthrosis (aka degenerative joint disease), migraines, ADD (which was brought about my the migraine preventive), and a newly developed heart murmur (am I sure it's new - yep b/c when I was in the Navy it wasn't there); yet, the combination of all of these conditions - nearly all of which will be remedied or at least greatly improved by this surgery may not be significant enough but sleep apnea which is the least of my worries will be enough. I'm now even more convinced that the decision makers at the insurance companies are on some really good drugs .   The doctor said that if we don't hit any snags with the insurance, I'm good to go for surgery in October... otherwise, I don't know what I do... Perhaps I'll just gain another 25 pounds because in the scheme of things I'd rather rejump the 200 line for a few months than keep starting my day with 7 pills, an inhalor, and a nasal spray, and ending it with 8 pills and an inhalor and wondering when I'll go from prediabetic to full blown diabetic so that I can add more pills...   In other news - my asthma hates me... I've been in some ongoing verson of a mild asthma attack since yesterday afternoon and nothing is making it stop. I went to the ER last night to only decide to leave after spending entirely too much time in the waiting room (apparently difficulty breathing is no longer a priority - who knew you didn't need to breath anymore? ). I hate the ER and pretty much any other medical facility and/or doctor who thinks that you have to be wheezing to be having an asthma attack... NEWSFLASH!!! NOT ALL ASTHMATICS WHEEZE ALL THE TIME! SOME NEVER EVER EVER WHEEZE! I'm convinced that's why these morons marked me as "ok" - I have two types of asthma and my most prevalent type involves tons of coughing when I have an attack and no wheezing. Nonetheless, I've had this overall breathless feeling off and on since... sometimes I'm ok and then othertimes I feel like I have to make a concious effort to breathe or I don't get enough air (If there was a blue smiley I'd insert him here, but since there's not use your imagination). I'm supposed to see some new PA at my doctor's office tomorrow afternoon - I'm calling in the morning though to see if my doc can squeeze me in because I wan't someone familiar with my health history and if this chic tells me I'm fine because I'm not wheezing, I may just break both of her legs .
barbi1281

barbi1281

1
 

Breathing Is Sooo Underated!

It’s been a whole 8 days since my last post and I seriously should’ve updated by now considering I’ve had things to update but alas my asthma has hated me and it’s been a rough 8 days for me. When I last posted I was heading to the doctor the next day – I went and she gave me a new inhaler, sent me for a chest x-ray (fear of this year’s pneumonia returning), and told me to stick it out and come back in a week. Today I’m going back and I haven’t seen much improvement. My x-ray was clear, I still can’t breathe, I’ve had several attacks, and today I’m demanding a CT of my chest.   That said, all has not been lost… I did speak with the patient coordinator at my surgeon’s office and he said that while most of my comorbidities are not “slam dunks” with Cigna – degenerative joint disease is! So for once I’m happy about my aching back/hips! He gave me the happy nod to start my pre-approval process! I’m still having my sleep study next week as a back up because two slam dunks are always better than one but either way I should be good to go to get banded in October after my 3 months of supervised diet. I’m starting preparations in my home since we have a pretty busy home life during the school year (I have school age daughters who are both athletes and in extracurriculars) – I’m beginning to stock up on post surgery items such as Muscle Milk Light (that stuff is expensive so I’m buying a little each pay day), Crystal Light, and other staples as I find them on sale. I’m on a budget so the more I can plan the better I’ll do.   I guess that’s all for now...
barbi1281

barbi1281

0
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