Today is my 6 month bandaversary, and I'm taking a minute this morning to reflect and to enjoy my journey so far. Before my pre-op diet, I weighed 230 pounds (which I always count as my "before" weight) and exactly six months later, I have lost 40 pounds! It has been an amazing experience, not always easy, not always fun or comfortable, but I am loving and working with my band! My medical team has been incredible and I am blessed to have the support of some amazing friends who are also bandsters. My family is supportive, my husband proud of my accomplishment (and I'm so glad, he was really concerned about spending the money on the surgery, but sees how happy and healthy I'm becoming!)
I have about 45 more pounds to go, which I hope to have off by sometime in the summer of 2013. If I keep on working with my band and exercising, that shouldn't be a problem! I've had my share of stuck episodes, overeating, eating too fast, eating the wrong thing, and learning - and it's all been worth it. I am changing my habits slowly and surely and will be maintaining a healthy weight for the rest of my life.
I am blessed and grateful for the opportunity to have a lap band - this is the BEST decision I've EVER MADE!
After quite a while of not blogging successes or frustrations or experiences, much has happened. I've been a vacationer, I've been stressed at work, I've had two girls up and go off to college, I've seen the scale drop, stop and stop and stop. I've had a few fills, I've weighed every single day, become frustrated, backed off to once a week and been happily surprised! I've been stuck, hungry, stuck, slimed, hiked, exercised, sweated buckets, laughed a ton, and felt SO much better in my body. As of yesterday, I have lost 28 pounds that I'll never ever see again. I've lost and gained so much in my life and it has become such a vicious cycle, I'm so elated to know I have a tool that WORKS to keep it off forever. It's NOT EASY but it's so nice not to be hungry all the time. I'm finding it's NOT FAST, but fast weight loss and subsequent gain plus some has gotten me where I am today. It IS POSSIBLE to lose weight, feel good and just get on with life. It doesn't consume me like it has in the past because I'm not starving and allocating every possible little morsel of food I can have in any given day. I can go with how my body feels and trust that I have enough, I am fine, and that it is working like it should. What a relief.
I'm finding that comparing my weight loss to others is nothing more than setting myself up for panic, disappointment, frustration and fear! I can't. Not everyone is the same. Not everyone started at the same place, at the same age, at the same BMI with the same metabolism. I'm learning to just relax and trust that I am doing this, that my band is working. I am down one size in pants, with the next smallest size sitting happily and patiently in the wings of my closet. I have a great support system - my friend T who is my band sister, my husband and my parents are all very supportive.
My goal is to "feel good." When I focus on that, I eat right, I exercise, I laugh, enjoy life, relax and let things happen week by week. No more mental torture up on the scale every single morning. I'm thinking after some time, maybe even a monthly weigh in will be my best route. I hate the scale, it does a number on my mind sometimes. Why subject myself to the torture?! No more.
Back to school this next week, working on my MBA (also slowly and steadily), one class at a time. Time to practice studying, writing papers and reading WITHOUT food to make it better. I have other options I'll be trying - walk around the block, music break, phone conversation with my support system. I'm sure I'll come up with more. The week after that I'm teaching class out of town for a week - but not at all worried about being on the road with my band. It's really pretty easy I've found. Plus, I'll have dedicated time to hit the hotel gym each day, without any of the distractions of home, and will get a chance to see my best friend in the whole world. Good times for us!
It's funny how reality has set in, my total elation with being banded has turned into a deep respect for myself and for what the band is doing to help me. My excitement at being a thin person is there, but is mellowed with the reality of day-to-day progress and small changes to get me there. My certainty that I will do this has never faltered, not once.
I hope everyone reading this is having a growing experience with their band, learning about the amazing person you are, and the amazing life that's out there to live without food dominating every moment. It's pretty dang enlightening and amazing.
Wishing you all my best -
D <3
Five weeks ago, banded and hopeful. Today, I'm down 23 lbs and so happy about that! Not a super fast loss, but I'll take slow and stead and PERMANENT any day over fast and yo-yo! I'm finding that summer time is the most challenging time for me - although there are many fresh fruits, veggies and healthy options out there at this time of year, for me and my husband, there are many social engagements including barbecues, outdoor concerts, farmer's markets, weddings, and other really wonderful events.
The events for me are not a challenge, and I'm finding that the food at the events is not the problem, but I am one to enjoy a glass or two of wine or a cocktail with friends at these events. While I'm still losing, I'm thinking that I'd do myself a bigger favor if I stuck to non-alcoholic beverages and watch the weight come down faster. But like I said above, it's not all about losing it fast - I am learning a new way of living right now, and if that life involves an occasional cocktail or glass of wine, so be it. This week has been full of festivities related to a dear friend getting married tonight. I haven't exercised as much because work has been insane busy and we've had engagements every night this week. But isn't that what life is all about? Some weeks are busier than others, it's all about having balance and taking care of myself. I feel like I've been doing a pretty good job in that area. Will I have a glass of wine tonight at the reception? YEP!
My daughter turned 18 on Thursday and headed out to Denver (about 4 hours away) for the weekend. As life would have it, she ended up in a fender bender, wanting to come home, not sure about her future move to Denver for school, and so upset (poor baby!) My old mode would have been to hit the pantry since I couldn't be right there to help her. But this time, (luckily her dad is over there), I was able to deal with the problem, feel the emotions I was having, and not stuff them down with a bag of chips. I just talked them out, and I felt better than the food would have made me feel. Again, life happens.
So the ups and downs can still happen without dousing them in food - I am learning a whole new way of being, a new way of dealing, and I feel good that so far I've been able to take on stress (good and bad stress) in a healthy way.
Hope all of you out there are doing well, remember it really is a JOURNEY and our bands are helping us physically manage hunger while we learn to deal with the other habits and head issues that have made us obese. It is so much easier to understand old patterns, look at them for what they were and change them when I'm not constantly starving. I LOVE MY BAND!!!
My best - D
Hello band sisters and brothers!
Just a quick update before getting ready for work. Four weeks ago this morning was my surgery, and what a difference a month makes! I thought I felt good after surgery, but now I'm feeling so great! Healing is a process, and I've had to be patient with myself. I went back to work on day 5 which went really well, but I live on three acres in Colorado and there were so many things needing done that I started in on one week after my procedure. I found I had to build up my stamina slowly, but eventually it has come back (pushing myself a little every day), and now I'm back in full swing - with even more energy and able to do much more than I could before.
I had the tiny amount removed from my band around day 5 put back in a week ago and it has helped. I've been working out five days a week doing 40 minutes of cardio, striving to stay in my target zone, and feeling good doing that. I've been doing my very best not to eat too much, I do have some restriction, but could still overdo it. I find myself wanting to "graze" all day, and that's not going to be a good strategy with the band, so I've been trying to stick as much as possible to three small meals and one snack in the afternoon, being sure to get in all my protein. I find myself eating too fast which can sure cause discomfort and some trouble, and I realize that old habits really do die incredibly hard. I'm grateful to have this physical reminder of the habits I need to change!
I've lost a total of 19 pounds since my pre-op diet which was a three-day clear liquid fast. Since surgery, I'm down 11. Slow and steady, maybe a pound a week, but my doc says not to worry right now about losing weight so much, so I feel like I'm doing well. They also tell me that those who don't have large amounts to lose will lose slower, and I need to remind myself that the weight WILL come off if I continue to work with my band, and remind myself how good I feel with 19 lbs already gone. It makes a really big difference in getting around and moving through my day!
My fill isn't scheduled until July 18th, and that's a week or so before we're leaving for a family vacation. I'm glad I'll have some time in between to see what works and what doesn't so I don't end up uncomfortable on vacation. My nephew is a chef and he'll be preparing many of our meals, and right now I find that I can handle just about any food as long as I chew it thoroughly, and eat slowly. My goal is to be at -20 by the end of next week, which is a very realistic goal (one pound a week!) though I really secretly would love to see it fall off much faster than that!
I love this site, I love my band and I'm grateful to everyone for their support and for the information I gain here! Thanks everyone, back in a little bit as there is more to report.
Hugs to all
D
Hi again, been about a week since I updated. Too bad work takes so much time away from lap-blogging and other really fun things! What a week this has been! I graduated to moist-soft-mushy this week, and made a chicken in the crock pot to have all week. Everything was going perfectly until I MINDLESSLY popped a little piece of cooked chicken breast in the hatch while talking on the phone Monday night and OH BROTHER! I thought I chewed it well, but hey - I was talking on the phone and not really paying attention! That nasty habit of mindless munching came back pretty easily, and my band reminded me how it's not a healthy idea. That bit of chicken got stuck and I was in excruciating pain for the next hour and a half!!! OMG! I called the surgeon who was out of town and another doc on call called me back. She confirmed that I was indeed stuck since her coaching me to drink water to see if it would go down proved as much. It came back up, and it hurt so bad! I had waves of stomach contractions that came every 30 seconds or so for so long, and she advised me to go to the ER if they didn't stop. About a half hour later, I was in the garage, keys in hand (kicking myself for being so stupid so soon after surgery) and ready to drive myself to the ER when I felt it drop through! AAAAAaaaaahhhhhhh!!! What relief! I was exhausted, felt like I had been in labor and I was so happy I didn't have to go to the hospital and the waves of pain were gone!
Needless to say, I thanked my lucky stars over and over, went to bed and learned a valuable lesson. CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW and don't eat when distracted!! The next day I went back on full liquids just to be safe and to rest my insides. Since then, I've felt perfect!
Hope my crazy experience helps someone out there - I knew better, but have been feeling so good I guess I forgot the rules and what can happen. Lesson learned. I'm down 7 pounds from surgery two weeks ago today, and really only lost one pound this week. I'm trying to keep in mind that I'm still in the healing phase, and don't need to get too worried about losing the weight right at this point. I am pretty happy though with my overall loss of 16 pounds since the day I started my three day pre-op liquid diet.
Hope you all have a great day, good luck everyone getting banded today, it's like another birthday!
Hugs and love to you all -
One week ago I turned a corner in my life. I am new - I feel differently about myself already. I feel like I used to before I gained all this weight = more confident, happy. Once I went back to work this week, I found I wanted to put more time into my appearance, I was so much happier at work, and was more productive, even though I was recoverying physically. I know this was the right decision, and I'm so excited to work with my band and get this weight off and LIVE!
Woo hoo!!! Graduating to soft, moist, mushy this weekend, and I'm ready. Rosemary chicken in the crock pot and some soft cooked veggies sound so good.
Have some domestic chores to do this weekend and am glad I'm up to doing a little yard work and housework!
I love my band!
Okay, day 5 and back to work. Wasn't too bad, just wore me out! I've been on the couch ever since I hit the door and fed the dogs So - this morning before work I went in for an adjustment - an unfill of about 1.5cc's. It seemed to make a difference in getting my protein shake down and my soup at lunch. Still feel a little like I need to burp sometimes, but better.
Getting my unfill was a little uncomfortable, I'm still sore from surgery and she had to push around a bit to locate the port (ouchey) and then the SCARY needle (which actually didn't really hurt) was inserted. Once she was where she needed to be, she took fluid out, removed the needle and had me drink some water. It was better So now I know exactly what it feels like to be in the "red" zone (too full). Next time I'm sure it won't hurt at all once I'm healed.
So, the weirdest thing is going through an entire day and not feeling hungry, even when just on liquids! This is the most amazing thing ever, and I'm so happy I made this decision!
Good luck everyone.
D
Thanks for the advice and input everyone. Yesterday and today I felt like I really couldn't swallow much, even sips of water caused some weird smasms in my esophagus - while not painful, still not too comfy, and I had trouble getting my liquids down. I called my surgeon today and he told me that the feeling is probably the swelling coupled with the little bit of fluid in my band. I had NO idea there was any fluid in there, but it feels like it's too full! Ah ha!!! Mystery solved! He said they put in 3cc's before inserting it and let what needs to come out come out for a "custom fit." He thinks it's a good fit but with swelling feels too full. Tomorrow, if not better, I'll go in and get a little taken out.
Soreness is definitely subsiding, my muscles are less achy. Gas has been much better today and just in time! Back to work for me tomorrow. With my desk job I'm going to have to remember to get up and move around more than usual. I know I'll feel better if I can get loosened up a little bit
Great luck everyone with your journeys, I hope if you had recent surgery you're feeling as great as I am. I hopped on the scale this morning and I am THIRTEEN pounds down from the day I started my pre-op liquid diet (three days prior to surgery!) That makes me feel great! Here we go!!! Happy days!!!
Okay experienced bandsters..here's a question for you....I had surgery two days ago and I know for a fact my band is empty. Why do I feel like I already have a fill? It's so hard to consume all of the protein I'm supposed to because my stomach feels so full (it's amazing and wonderful and I love it!!!)
Why is this? Is it because of swelling? Maybe just having the band on my stomach is making me feel that way? I am so excited about how I feel and can't wait for results!!!
Oh WOW am I ever glad this morning is over! For all that led me here, and for my team of doctors, and my amazing surgeion and most of all, for my husband and friends, I am EVER grateful! Surgery was completely uneventful, I was home by 12:30 and have managed the pain very well all day. In fact, I've had viruses that made me feel worse than I've felt all afternoon! It's awesome, I really expected the pain and discomfort to be worse. No problems with gas yet, but I have been up and around quite a bit. Pain meds make me super sleepy, so that's the only time I've really been down is to sleep a few hours here and there.
I'm FINALLY on the recovery side, and I am so excited!!! Today's the last clear liquid day and tomorrow I get full liquids. I've never looked so forward to tomato soup in my whole life, but it sounds delicious right now.
Great things are in store for me - thanks to everyone for your support here. I'm going to have a million questions, so be ready!
