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Hmmm Friends Or Not?

So I have been having a few issues with my best friend lately. We don't see each other much as she lives about 3 hrs north of me. It was hard enough getting together before I moved down south with my fiancee. Single mom, tight budget, crappy vehicle. So I would wait until she had to come to my town to have lunch etc. Then I started finding out she would come to town and no one would tell me until she was gone. Then another friend of ours just started going up to her house all the time and hanging out, going to parties, the bestie would have theme parties at her house and everyone was "oh we thought you wouldn't come, drive, have a babysitter" ok........sure it's nice to be invited though. Fast forward a few months and now I'm engaged. She tells me that my track record with men sucks (which is true) and she thought I was moving to fast with someone I barely knew.....wait a minute, I'm sorry I've actually known my fiancee since high school..yeah we were good friends in high school, lived close to each other in the middle of nowhere, and I've been friends with his mom about as long as I've been friends with him...hmmmmm.   I asked her to be my matron of honor in February, she didn't ask me anything about the wedding, not theme, decorations, location..nothing until May. She said that she is having personal family problems with her oldest son and she just doesn't have the time or energy to do anything else or think of anything else. Ok that's fine so I asked her if she wanted to opt out of the wedding and take care of what she needs to do, whatever she needs, or however I can help. So she got mad at me. Well hell....   So since then she has apologized for acting like that and hurting my feelings. That's fine. But she has still only talked to me once about the wedding in-depth and I'm getting married in October. In addition she is supposed to be my planner, and her husband is marrying us.   So to top it off I finally told her that I'm getting lap band and ....she got mad. Because she doesn't have insurance, so she can't get one. Ok I'm not saying she doesn't need a band or that it wouldn't help her. But she's about 5'4 and 220...I'm 5'2 and 325....but then I also gave her info on self pay and all the deals that they have for surgery in Mexico. She got madder at me about it...I give up.   My Dad told me that like any other situation in life such as drinking, doing drugs, smoking...stuff like that, you surround yourself with people who are like you. And when you decide to change that situation people resent it immensely. I already moved, got into a really healthy relationship that is leading to commitment, and now I want to loose weight and be healthy. He believes that I may have to reevaluate some of these relationships, especially if they aren't supportive. Since he went through AA and has been sober for 12 years, I kind of think he may be right.   In the meantime I am just letting it be and doing my thing so that I can put myself first for a change. I don't do much of that.
mylynn1377

mylynn1377

5
 

Making A Decision...sadly

So I have researched my booty off. Called people, talked to friends, jumped up and down, wished on stars. After my saga last week with the liar, liar, pants on fire clinic and my lack of financial aid to finish school I have come to the conclusion that as much as I want lap band, I'm just not going to be able to do it.   It looks like it's gastric bypass or nothing. Which sucks humungously but I have extenuating circumstances so I have to put all of these things in perspective.   1) I can't loose weight long term and keep it off by myself 2) I don't have the money to self pay right now and my insurance won't cover the band 3) I have to get a better paying job with more hours by November and I have to loose enough weight so that someone will actually hire me 4) I am going to have to pay for school out of pocket and I need the weight loss to get a job to pay for school 5) I have had 3 doctors that know me very well tell me I need the weight off now and there is a good chance that If I don't get it off soon that I am right on the cusp of type II diabetes.   All of these things have led me to this decision, which my family and fiance are not super thrilled about, but I wonder what else should I do, and even though I know they love me, most of the people in my family and my fiance have never been this big. I'm 5'2 and 318. They have no clue what its like to carry this around. My fiance wants to have a baby in the next few years and I can say right now there is no way.   I was on the RNY board and I can say that it doesn't seem as if they are as supportive as LBT. They don't seem as friendly, and the board isn't as informative as LBT. I am sad because I really wanted to be a part of this wonderful group of lovely people and say that I too have a lap band. I wanted to be a proud bander and talk about pre-op diet and post-op diet and fill and unfills and green zone. Now I won't even be able to have chocolate and I will probably kill someone one day when I am stressed out.....yes I know I'm being melodramatic but I'm disappointed darn it... I had ideas of where my life was going and the monkey wrench has caused me to have to start over....blah.
mylynn1377

mylynn1377

4
 

Hello My Lovelies..interesting News Here

So I have been silent on the blog front lately, which isn't normal for me, but I have been back and forth on some issues. As we know from previous blogs I had issues with insurance and was facing the decision to pay out of pocket for lap band, which I don't have, or have gastric bypass. Well I went in to my regular doctor and she threw another curve ball my way. She now doesn't think that I need any surgery at all. She believes that since I have lost over 20lbs in 2 months on my own that I can do this on my own. She sat down with me to throw this info at me. I am on a time crunch with insurance, mine is over in October and my fiance's doesn't cover WLS. So If I switch to another managed care I can get lap band, but I will have to pay for fills/unfills/follow up care out of pocket. If I got gastric bypass, the first year is very critical and I would have to take care of that cost out of pocket also. But since I am doing well on my own, and pretty positive about the loss so far, we can leave it the way it is and revisit some other help later on down the road because my fiance's insurance will pay for a bunch of different weight loss medications.   So now I'm on the what the heck just happened here track? Ok I am doing well and very proud of myself for keeping this momentum going. I have managed to really change my lifestyle, way I look at food, etc. A lot of that is credited to all you lovely people on this blog. Its great advice and motivation even for the unbanded really. To top it off, I have had at least 4 people be relieved that I'm not having surgery of any kind. So now I am faced with what to do. I could go ahead and change managed care plans because I already have the referral and approval at the center that originally evaluated me for lap band. That is if the managed care plans allow me to change, which also means I would have to change all my doctors and my kids doctors too. Blah....I really didn't want to do that. So now I am stuck here in limbo again, trying to make a plan! Lol, if its not one thing its the other!
mylynn1377

mylynn1377

3
 

Starting A Blog Makes Me Feel Weird

Ok to everyone who actually reads this Hi!   That being said, blogging makes me feel weird because I am ultimately typing to hear myself type. Yeah I know strange huh? My mom suggested this as a way to talk to other people who understand what I am going through and the things that I struggle with on a daily basis. I say its a place for me to rant about stuff that may or may not be read, depending on whether or not my audience finds me entertaining. My mother finds me entertaining but let's face it, she's my Mom, kinda part of the job description even though I'm 35 years old.   So for this first foray into blogging let's make this an open forum to talk about.......tuna? Exercise that you hate or love? Things that we gave up or will give up eating that makes you want to cry? I got a good answer for that one! Ummm supportive or unsupportive friends/family? You hate doctors, needles scare you, you are traumatized by clowns (also one of mine). I can say if they {who ever they are} put a clown in my fridge I would be very, very, thin..or just not scared of clowns anymore.     So feel free to read this, not read this, believe I'm insane (good luck cause they (again with the they) already know that I'm crazy) or just want to also post random replies to peoples blogs because you are bored and want something constructive or destructive to do....
mylynn1377

mylynn1377

2
 

Today I Want...bread Preferably Covered In Cheese

All of a sudden I am so freaking hungry when for most of the day I wasn't hungry at all. It started when I went outside with my boys to fix up their slip n slide. I was sitting there and I wasn't feeling well and I thought ok eat a bit of protein and a tiny carb and all will be well. So I did that but did that fix it...nope. Still sitting here obsessing in my head about cheese covered bread of all things. I know I'm not banded yet, but it's so important to me personally to do good on this lifestyle change. And most days I do well, and keep it around 1000 calories, low carb, low fat. Today I wasn't hungry much but I ate a bit to keep the metabolism going and was doing well with that.   Now I ask myself what the trigger is? I'm not stressed, I had a good day, I hung out with my 3 yr old who I have to say is a wonderful boy. My 5 yr old came home from summer school excited to go swimming tomorrow. I set up the freaking slip n slide by myself Hooray!   And then I realized that the only thing different about today was that as soon as I walked in the door my best friend called me. Yup the one that I've already blogged about. The one that I'm having issues with, but find myself in a position where I don't know what to do about her or our friendship. That was my trigger today to eat like a nut job, and make it as fattening as I possibly could.   But I want to say thanks to this forum and all you banded and on the way to be banded. I actually recognized a trigger before I went gung ho with the junk and stuffed it in my face. Now maybe I can talk to my fiancee about it and calm down so that I can eat a normal dinner!
mylynn1377

mylynn1377

2
 

Seriously Annoyed! Doctors And Pharmacies...communication Issues

Ok so I am doing fairly well and pretty proud of myself for getting down almost 10 pounds in the last 2 1/2 weeks. I was feeling better, and very motivated to do this while I wait for my insurance to clear so I can finalize everything and get my surgery. So in the meantime I am very fanatic about taking my thyroid meds exactly when and how I am supposed to. I even wait a good hour before eating after taking it so that I know things are processing how they are supposed to.   That being said I went to call the pharmacy for a refill of the meds and low and behold my doctor didn't authorize refills for me when I went and saw her on the 10th. So now I am panicking because I ran out Monday and I had NO medicine. So they tell me that the process can take up to 72 hours to get refills. And now I am about to have heart failure because if I go that long without my meds I have to start all over getting it built up in my system, which also derails my diet progress because when my levels aren't good the scale will NOT move. So I wait and fret and finally they give me a 3 day emergency supply on Wednesday night. So I take it Thursday and boom I crash hard by Thursday afternoon. I had been without it long enough that my dosage is a bit high to start back up with and by 4 on Thursday I feel like someone took a bat to me, I ran a low grade fever and had the most horrible headache all day that I couldn't get rid of. To top it off I was pissed! Seriously pissed. I couldn't believe that they still hadn't got this crap straight by Thursday night so that I could have my medicine....errr.   So even though my doctors office has a strict policy on refill requests (you're supposed to call the pharmacy and they will deal with them) I called the nursing line and left a detailed and not very polite message about how I NEED MY FREAKING MEDICINE, and I thought that a whole week was ridiculous amount of time to wait for a refill. So now I have to call the pharmacy and see if any progress has been made in this area because I only have one more emergency pill left for tomorrow and then I'm out again.   This whole process is unacceptable. I love my doctor, I really do, but this isn't the first time that staff in her office have completely screwed something up and I had to wait for my meds. Every 3 months I go through this when I need a refill and depending on how long it takes or how long I'm without my pills it can take up to 2 months to repair the damage to my body and get myself back to feeling good. I think I might look into herbal thyroid supplements to have on hand as back up and I'm going to talk to my insurance about 90 day supplies so that refills are automatically handled with the insurance company and I don't have to mess with it!
mylynn1377

mylynn1377

1
 

A Philosophy And Journey--I Hope This Is Beneficial

Ok I have been reading posts and blogs lately and it seems like right after getting banded a lot of people go through an emotional upheaval and wonder if they can do this or if they have done the right thing.   I'm not banded yet so I can't begin to understand that...or wait...maybe I can't understand the banded part but I really can understand overwhelming decisions. Not the same but maybe this will help.   I was a 2 pack a day smoker for 19 years or so. I smoked through both pregnancies (which still makes me cringe) and I didn't care until I realized that my oldest son was sick all the time. I was at the end of my pregnancy with the youngest, it was November and cold as crap, and I knew I was having a scheduled c-section. So I asked my parents what did they think about coming to my apt and getting all the ash trays and lighters out while I was in the hospital. My thought was if I was going to be in there not smoking for 5 days then what would be the point of keeping it up after I got out? I knew I wasn't going to haul my butt downstairs and out the door to stand in the cold and smoke after just having a c-section. So that's what I did.   And then I came home to the reality of taking care of a 19 month old and newborn after just having surgery and all by myself. No help. It was nightmarish honestly. I had bad postpartum on top of the quitting smoking. There were times when I could have cheerfully strangled someone for a smoke. I cried a lot and asked what did I do to myself? My best friend said she couldn't do it because she just couldn't fathom not ever being able to smoke again for the rest of her life...and then the light came on...   My Dad offered me a lot of really good advice that he has gotten from being in AA. He's been sober 14 years now. And he told me not to look at the big picture but only look at what I could handle today...can I say that I am not going to smoke for the next 5 minutes. I could do that and the picture looked a lot less overwhelming. Now I can say almost 4 years later that I am still a non smoker and I'm pretty sure that I won't have a smoke for at least the next few days. Can't garuntee longer than that because I can't predict the future.   Where I am going with this long story is this is the same approach I am using now in my pre/pre op diet that my doctors want me to work on. I can say that in the next 5 minutes that I will not eat half a pan of brownies. But I'm not going to say that I will never eat them again because that is just too much for most of us to handle. So if you can say that you won't eat the bad, and keep eating the good in whatever increments of time that you are comfortable with, it just might make ever thing seem doable.   The approach works obviously a lot of people have quit drinking with those tools. I am thinking that with the band it would be a bit easier because I won't be able to eat half a pan of brownies. Or a whole Big Mac. And later on down the road when me and food have come to a better understanding instead of a co-dependent relationship, then and only then, will I contemplate maybe having that brownie, but only a small one.   Just like my philosophy with stopping smoking, I am not going through all of this for nothing. I want results and I am determined to get them.
mylynn1377

mylynn1377

0
 

Health Article-Why You Should Drink Warm Water With Lemon

I read this article and I think I am going to try this. I have liver issues anyway so if it only helps my liver it would be worth it.     The way you start each day is incredibly important. Whether you're a mom, a coach, a writer, a small business owner or a yoga teacher, what you do first thing in the morning matters.   According to Ayurvedic philosophy, choices that you make regarding your daily routine either build up resistance to disease or tear it down.   Ayurveda invites us to get a jump-start on the day by focusing on morning rituals that work to align the body with nature's rhythms, balance the doshas and foster self-esteem alongside self-discipline.   Your mind may say you have to check emails, take the dog out, get the kids out the door, that you can't be late for work or that you just don't have enough time to cultivate your own morning rituals.   But, if you can only make time for one ritual that will improve your health, let it be this.....   Start the day out with a mug of warm water and the juice of half a lemon.   It's so simple and the benefits are just too good to ignore. Warm water with lemon:   1. Boosts you're immune system   Lemons are high in Vitamin C and potassium. Vitamin C is great for fighting colds and potassium stimulates brain & nerve function and helps control blood pressure.   2. Balances pH   Lemons are an incredibly alkaline food, believe it or not. Yes, they are acidic on their own, but inside our bodies they're alkaline (the citric acid does not create acidity in the body once metabolized). As you wellness warriors know, an alkaline body is really the key to good health.   3. Helps with weight loss   Lemons are high in pectin fiber, which helps fight hunger cravings. It also has been shown that people who maintain a more alkaline diet lose weight faster. And, my experience is that when I start the day off right, it's easier to make the best choices for myself the rest of the day.   4. Aids digestion   The warm water serves to stimulate the gastrointestinal tract and peristalsis—the waves of muscle contractions within the intestinal walls that keep things moving. Lemons and limes are also high in minerals and vitamins and help loosen ama, or toxins, in the digestive tract.   5. Acts as a gentle, natural diuretic   Lemon juice helps flush out unwanted materials because lemons increase the rate of urination in the body. Toxins are, therefore, released at a faster rate which helps keep your urinary tract healthy.   6. Clears skin   The vitamin C helps decrease wrinkles and blemishes. Lemon water purges toxins from the blood which helps keep skin clear as well.   7. Hydrates the lymph system   This cup of goodness helps start the day on a hydrated note, which helps prevent dehydration (obviously) and adrenal fatigue. When your body is dehydrated, or deeply dehydrated (adrenal fatigue) it can't perform all of it's proper functions, which leads to toxic buildup, stress, constipation, and the list goes on. Your adrenals happen to be two small glands that sit on top of your kidneys, and along with your thyroid, create energy. They also secrete important hormones, including aldosterone. Aldosterone is a hormone secreted by your adrenals that regulates water levels and the concentration of minerals, like sodium, in your body, helping you stay hydrated. Your adrenals are also responsible for regulating your stress response. So, the bottom line is that you really don't want to mess with a deep state of dehydration!   Adopting just this one practice of drinking a cup of warm water with lemon in the morning for a month can radically alter your experience of the day. Don't be surprised if you begin to view mornings in a new light.   Like I said, the recipe is really simple - a cup of warm (not hot) water and the juice from half a lemon.
mylynn1377

mylynn1377

0
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