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bringin it.

Entries in this blog

 

Lol... Nope..... Waiting Until Next Summer

Decided that we didn't like the terms of the No Patient Left Behind. They will only finance 10,000 (I need at least 15,000) and the downpayment is 50%. I'm a bit more ok with the thought of waiting now, but it still saddens me.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

0
 

It's Been A Few Days....

It's taken me a few days to even look at LBT let alone my blog. Thank you to everyone for your kind words and prayers. It was an emotional weekend for me, dealing with the idea of not being able to get Lap Band until next year and with having to pack Ty up to leave for Diego for 6 months.   I took Ty to the airport this morning, and on the drive home I decided I wasn't going to let this get me. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself. I was denied by Care Credit because of the mistakes I made in the years past. I can't blame anyone but myself. It just sucks that I make enough money to make the payments, just can't get the whole 16000. So I started more research. (I swear... I should work in a college... I'm good at figuring things out) I figured out that I qualify for No Patients Left Behind. ( nopatientsleftbehind.com ) It is a program that helps those of us who have less than perfect credit get the medical loan we need. You just have to be able to put a downpayment down. Which I can do. Which Ty can do also. I think I found my solution. So now I wait for their phone call. I have a half hour before I need to go to work. ( I took half a day off to take Ty and to collect myself before work)   I hope everyone has a glorious Monday. And thank you again to all my "family" here on LBT Shells
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

0
 

And It All Comes Crashing Down........

Woke up this morning and headed to Seattle with Ty... First we met with the dietitian and learned a lot of stuff. It was nice because we got to do both consults together. After talking to the surgeon, she told us that it would be better if I did the surgery a few months before Ty, and that a few months before leaving for Japan. So I was excited and scared to think that I would be getting the surgery in a month or so. Then we came home to see if we would qualify for CareCredit.... and sadly we don't. So now it looks like we are going to have to wait until I come home from Japan in May of 2013. I'm sad. I don't know if I can wait a year.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

9
 

Last Day At A Desk...for Now Anyway ;d

Today is the last day that I will be sitting at a desk for a while. I'm glad to be going back to the waterfront. I feel like part of the reason why I have gained some weight in the last month is because I stopped being active at work. But don't get me wrong, I don't want to be on the waterfront for the rest of my career. At some point I woulnd't mind a job that is less demanding then what I do on the waterfront. But I'm still young, and I still have some work left in me.   Tomorrow is my and Ty's consultations with the nutritionist and the surgeon. I'm so excited!! It feels like everything is happening for real! I called the receptionist and asked if Ty and I could combine our surgeon consult and they said yes, but no to the nutrition consult, which I figured would happen. I wanted separte nutrition consults because we eat so differently.   I can't believe Ty leaves in 4 days! This is going to be the longest TDY trip for either one of us while we have been together. But at least I will be able to go visit him. If it were 6 months in Japan, that is a different story....   I am, however, trying to get a trip to Japan to pay everything off. Ty and I are ok with being apart from eachother for almost a year to get the things we want, but for some reason our families have a problem with us being apart from eachother for so long. I just don't get it. Ty and I both have the opprotunities to travel and earn a lot of money to pay for the things we want in cash and our parents think that it's a bad idea. We don't want credit cards for everythinig. If I didn't think the Care Credit card wouldn't help out in the future after the band (tummy tuck, boob job, emergencies) then I wouldn't even want that, but I can't wait a year for the band!   I have been doing some research on the Fitbit and everyone seems to love it. I really want Ty and I to get ones after we get banded. And the new fancy scale that they have. I wish I could keep myself off the scale that I have at home. I almost want to throw it out. It upsets me more than it makes me happy, and anything else in my life that would do that, I would throw out. Maybe I'll just put it somewhere that is hard to get.   On saturday I am doing my second 5k! It's the foam run. Check out this website to see if one is coming to your hometown, because it looks like so much fun! www.5kfoamfest.com My friends from work are doing it with me. I am, sadly, the fat friend in the group, but they are nice about the fact that I can't run as much as they can. We did the color run about a month ago, and that 5k was a bit more difficult because there weren't any obstacles to break up the running...but it was a lot of fun. This is me and my friends doing it. It's kinda long, but there are some pretty funny parts in it. Also, I did the music mix myself with a dj app on my ipad ... it was my first time.  Hope everyone has a great rest of the day! I will probably write something tomorrow because I will be so excited!   Shells
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

5
 

Faith, Hope, Love Is All You Need

I’m so excited! Hope is the greatest thing in life. It keeps you going, allows you to believe that things are possible! I’m still researching this (my hopeful outcome) and I need to speak with my surgeon about it too, but I think I have found a way to get Banded in December and still get to go to Japan in 2013! There is a facility that does Lap-band and other plastic surgeries and WLS and seems like a great place. I emailed them with some questions, and now I’m waiting for a response, but this has given me hope! Going to Japan was going to give Ty and I the money to pay off the Care Credit card in just a few months instead of the 48 or 60 months or whatever we decided in December. I’m just glad that I’m getting to have my cake and eat it too… hehe
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

0
 

Hello, My Name Is Shelley, And I Am An Emotional Eater...

So AGRAVATED right now!!   I can’t stand the shop that I work for! (In the shipyard we are broken up by specific trades <shops> and we all have our own General Forman and Superintendants for each shop) well, my shop thinks it’s ok to treat everyone unfairly and it makes me want to quit. I would have quit years ago if I didn’t make so much money, but alas, here I am almost 7 years into my career working for a moronic upper management with a dilapidated system to attempting to keep order in a sea of sh*t. Each year we are “graded” on our performance, which has always been a screwed up system to begin with, and the higher you score, the larger your bonus will be. Well last year they came out with a new rule that you couldn’t grade your workers to high, and then there was a set limit on how many Significant Strengths you could give a worker, well some supervisors follow this rule and some don’t. I just found out that a co-worker of mine was graded 12 S.S. when I was only given 2. I was only given 2 because the limit for our shop is 5 and when I had my evaluation done with was with a supervisor I had only worked for for a month. I told him that I wasn’t comfortable with him giving me my evaluation due to me only being on his crew for a month and I asked him to please contact my previous supervisor for more information on my work ethic. He said that he would call my General Forman, because he felt the same way. (My last supervisor at the time was while I was in Japan at the beginning of the year) My G.F. told my supervisor at the time, that it would be to hard for him to contact my pervious supervisor because he was still in Japan and that I would just have to deal with it.   LONG STORY SHORT.... I ATE A FREAKING DONUT BECAUSE I HATE WHERE I WORK. And you know what? It tasted like heaven dipped in baby angel tears. I almost want another.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

The Stuggle Between Body And Mind... Body 1 Mind 0

Oh the weekend. I don’t know why my mentality changes so much from the 5 days that I’m at work to the 2 days that I’m at home. I’ll list the differences that can make or break my health: AT work I drink almost 64oz of water a day, at home it probably less than half.
At work I can keep up with eating healthy, at home I had Jack in the Box
Actually that’s about it, lol, but that’s still terrible for me. I need to get better at this. Last night I had my weekly softball game, and I left so frustrated and so upset with myself I wanted to cry. Ty couldn’t play because his hip has been bothering him so bad, but he came to watch. Every time I got up to bat, I would hit the ball, drop the bat and run like hell for 1st base. And all 4 times as I was right above the base in the air, the 1st baseman would catch the ball and I would be called out. Less than a second away each time. I’m so upset with myself because I keep thinking, “If I was a little less fat I would have been just a little bit faster and I would have beat the ball.” Or “If I was just a little stronger, I would have hit it a little further and I wouldn’t have to run so fast.” It’s frustrating to be held back by my body. Ty told me that each time I hit it was a good play because I advanced players on the bases, I was just sacrificing myself to get more runs… it still sucks. I wanted to at least get to second base. Oh well, after I get banded, game on.   On Friday Ty and I have our consultations with our surgeon and nutritionist, it’s exciting because it’s becoming so real. The appointments on top of our “Lapband Savings” account, I know I’ll make it the next 6 months. I just keep telling myself that most people have to wait and jump through hoops for 6 months all the time, I can do it.   Well I hope we all have a great week!   Shells
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

4
 

Just One Of The Guys....shoot Me

I can't wait for the day when the guys that I work with stop seeing me as "just one of the guys" and sees me as a girl. Fridays, in the shipyard, are normally known as "Fat Fridays" where someone brings in something special to eat. Today it was scones... so yummy.And as I was walking towards the box to get on, one of my idiot co-workers said, "Whoa now! Don't knock me over trying to get one!" I pretty much wanted to put the scone back. Awesome a** hole, that's just what I wanted to hear in the morning, that you think I want the scone bad enough to knock you over to get to the box that is filled with them, Of course my whole crew laughed, as did I (because isn't that what we do? conform into the funny fat friend?) I laughed it off and went on my way, but it hurts, Why would you say that to an overweight girl? This happens a lot to me with where I work, we become so much like family that sometimes the morons that I work with think it's ok to say hurtful things... I'm a lady god damn it! Treat me as such. LoL.   Well I hope everyone has a great weekend, I'm going to try. I don't get to work overtime to put money in the bank because I have to go to my friend's son's 1st birthday party. What do you do at a one year old's birthday party? Especially since I don't have a kid to bring to it? I just don't get it... I feel like all we are really celebrating is that my friend didn't kill her kid in the first year. It's not like her child is going to understand what is going on. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love that baby with everything that I have, but still... I feel like if he can't say birfday... I shouldn't have to attend. ( I really hope this mentality goes away before I have a kid of my own). I just feel like it is like celebrating a kid "graduating" from the 6th grade... "Congratulations! You did what is expected of every other kid in America! Now on to another grade for you." I guess I was just brought up differently, My high school graduation present was luggage... so that I could move out. My friend got a car. I had a 3.9 GPA and she barely passed.... I just don't understand people sometimes. My kid is going to get a high five and a microwave. And the same speech (with a slight variation), "Congratulations! You did what is expected of every other kid in America! Now get out of my house you bum." <------I've rambled.   Have a great Friday night folks!   ~Shells
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

5
 

Feelin' Better With Progress

I've lost 4 pounds in 2 days by not eating any carbs through out the day until dinner. It made me so happy to see the numbers on the scale go down this morning, I can keep this up! Short little blip today. Hope everyone is having a great day.   ~Shels
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

4
 

Ball Is Back In My Court!

After a depressing day yesterday, I woke up this morning feeling a lot better. I think my exact words in the car to Ty were, “Today is so much better than yesterday. The sun is out, the birds are chirping, and my pants fit.” I feel a lot better about myself when I’m not worrying so much about what I look like. I’ve also decided to do something about it while I wait to be banded…   At first, I thought about no carbs. I remember doing the south beach diet and I lost weight doing it… but I also remember gaining the weight back when I couldn’t handle the cravings anymore. So then I got the brilliant idea of no carbs (bread, pasta, rice, potatoes) at work. Now this is something that I can do. So for the last two days I only eat fruits, veggies, meat, and cheese at work, with A LOT of water. And then eat a normal dinner. I need baby steps to change, which I think we all do. So this is how I’m going to take off (hopefully) a few pounds in the waiting.   Other than that, not much happened today. Going to the bank today with Ty to open a joint account so that we can both have allotments come out of our check to save for the surgery.   (before anyone tries to tell me not to get a joint account with a boyfriend, I promise you, as you continue to read about me through the years **if you stay with me that long** that we will be married. I’m very smart with my money and assets, and I wouldn’t do something like this if I didn’t trust them 300%)   Have a great evening everyone!!
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

I Feel Bi-Polar

Today started out Oh Tuesdays Last night even after trying on jeans   Bleck! I can’t even start a post! When I was in college in 2004, I took a creative writing class and the instructor would give us 10 minutes to close your eyes and type (for those who can do that, which is probably 80% of the population in this day and age) but she would tell you not to delete anything, just type. After the 10 minutes, go back and copy and paste the parts of whatever you just wrote into a story. I guess I never fell out of that habit, for I LOVE to write. I hope to have a few books published before I die.   Last night, before I went to attempt jean shopping, I went to Lane Bryant to try on a swim suit that I ordered off line just to make sure that it was going to fit and actually make me look decent enough to wear it in public. I tried it on and fell in love with it and now I’m so excited to get it in the mail. I went home and told Ty that I was so happy, that I found a suit that looks good on me and that we would have so much fun in San Diego. I felt good about myself, which is something I haven’t felt in a while.   Well, then it came to be bed time, I started a load of laundry because right now I only have 1 pair of jeans that I wear to work that fit me. I forgot to get up early and put them in the dryer with enough time for them to be dry for work…. Well now I don’t have any pants! So I tear apart my room looking for the only other pair that actually fit me and they have been eaten by a monster or something. Just my luck. I find a pair that I know are too small, but are the only ones that I’m going to be able to button.   THEY ARE TIGHT. I have to use a hair tie to make an expansion so that I can make it through the day… I debate calling in, then I remember that I need to save leave to go to San Diego to visit Ty… I walk out of the bathroom and continue on with gathering my things for work, and Ty says, “See you found them!” I had to shut him down quickly and inform him that these jeans are too small. He asks for a hug and I tell him I don’t want to give him a hug because I feel terrible. So he hugs me and tells me that I look fine, and I had to tell him about the hair tie. THEN HE LAUGHED!! Boys are dumb. I almost burst into tears. I had to tell him it isn’t funny, and then the apologized, which I believe, but still.   So now I’m at work… I started the morning off feeling sorry for myself. Then it was iPod time…Music is my everything. I grew up with music in my house all the time. After listening to a few songs, I was in a bit of a better mood and I realized I put myself in this mess; I’m on the right path to taking myself out.   This is my time.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

Ugggg.... Jean Shopping

Im sitting in the dressing room at Macy's feeling defeated. All I needed was a pair of jeans for work.... I wear yoga pants at home because I'm so fat, but I work on a shipyard and I have tO wear jeans.   You know the moment when you pull the jeans up to your knees and you instantly know they aren't going to fit? Or when you finally find a pair that you can pull up the whole way and manage to button up and you're working wIth muffin top, camel toe, or they are so wide in the leg you can't see your feet? I pretty much hate myself right now. I hate buying jeans based on how long it will take me to tailor them to my body. Good thing I'm a good seamstress I guess.   The next six months can't fly by fast enough.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

8
 

I Need To Get This Down On Lock

I need something to do while waiting for surgery... I keep gaining!! I just don't know what to do anymore. Any time I get dressed or eat or something, I feel like bursting into tears. Ty told me today he has lost 5 pounds since he stop drinking diet soda.... I NEVER DRINK SODA!! It isn't fair!! I'm over this!   I hope everyone has a good week.   ~Shells
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

I'm Keeping My Appointment!

Ty is the best man for me! Today after we both had to work 10 hour overtime shifts at work (yuck, but the money is to good to not go in) wehad to drive to a near by city to drop is car off for work. It was about an hour and 15 minute car ride, so we had time to talk on the way home, and I asked him what he wanted me to do with the appointments. And he asked me what I wanted, and I told him the truth, that I wanted to keep the appointments and for him to come home in december and for us to get banded in December like we originally planned. And then he said no matter what, we would be banded in December! He said that if he gets extended, he'll just fly home and take a bit of time off, then fly back. My night has been made. I know that this is short, but I'm just so happy!   Have a great rest of the weekend everyone!!
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

0
 

Either This Or That...i Hate Not Knowing......

This was how it was all planned out: June 29th--Ty and I go in for our dietion appointment and surgeon consultation July 2nd--Ty leaves for San Diego for almost 6 months All the time in between would be us saving to put as much down on our surgeries as possible December 14th--Ty comes home and we see the surgeon again to start our Pre-Op diets December 26ish--We get banded...   Well all of that has a huge chance of changing, Ty might have to stay in San Diego until February. He then told me if that was the case, I might as well go to Japan for 6 months starting in November, and have the surgery when I get home. That way we won't have to finance anything, we would have saved enough for both surgeries.   As much as I like the idea of not having to finance anything, I hate the idea of having to wait a year to get banded. I'm having a hard enough time waiting 6 months, let alone a whole year. Ty doesn't understand. He just keeps saying, "What's another year?"   1 Year = Me hating what I look like for another year
Not being able to do all the activities that I want for another year
Feeling terrible about myself for another year
Not fitting in my clothes for another year
Running the risk of gaining more wait for another year
Giving up on everything and not wanting to be banded in a year
Depression.
  This whole situation is depressing to me. So now I don't know what to do. Should I cancel the appointment that we have on the 29th of this month and wait the year or keep the appointment and hope he doesn't get extended. All of this makes me sick to my stomach. Any advice or encouragement would be appreciated.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

Is It Just Me Or....

Does everyone else panic a little when the website is down? My first thought was, "What am I going to read about all day at work?" I checked frequently through out the day. Anyway...   Today I filled out my medical history for the surgeon. Each step forward makes me smile bigger. I just need to make sure Ty fills out his.   I think I have made the decision to not travel for at least a year after I have the band put in december, which breaks my heart because I was most likely going to Japan for 4 months at the begining of the year, and I love Japan. I just doesn't make any sense for me to leave for 4 months after having surgery. I won't be able to get any fills and what if there is a complication? It just makes me sad because that was how we were going to pay off the care credit card, I would have made 16000 in perdiem. Tears me up.   Anyway, I'm almost off work, better pack up. Until next time.   ~Shells
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

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It's Always Good With Bad...

Got the information back about our insurances... and it's a no go. I think I would be more upset if we hadn't already planned on self paying before calling the insurance company again. Our insurance complany only covers Gastric Bypass and inhouse only. Which figures, because it's Group Health. So that's the bad news, the good new/great news is that now that we know we are self paying, I havemade our appointments for consults!! June 29th it's go time!! I'm a little bummed Ty and I are going to be laying down 30,000 dollars, but I couldn't think of a better reason!   Ty is more on board than ever, he has already given up soda, he is on 4 days, no soda. I'm so proud of him. Even though he only drinks diet, but still, a huge step in the right direction.   I'm not sure how to bring up the subject to my friend from yesterday, we were drinking and now I'm not sure how to talk about it again. Maybe wait until she asks how it is going. Maybe after my appointment.   I'm just happy because it feels more real now. Now it's time to buckle down, save our monies, and follow through with everything. Sorry this is so short, just had to share the news.   Until next time. ~Shells
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

Took A Big Step Today....

Today at my company's golf tourney, I broke the news to my best friend about Ty and me getting Lap-Band. ( We had been drinking most of the morning and she just got done telling me that the reason why we were best friends was because we were completely honest... how could I not tell her at the point?) She seems shocked at first. Then told me she didn't think that I needed, that I looked fine. I told her that I weigh more than people think I weigh and she asked how much, when I told her that I weighed 275 she was even more shocked. I've always known that I hold my weight evenly all over my body and that I am naturally a thick girl, but I know that I'm not at a healthy weight. She was very interested on how we came to this conclusion, and if I felt that I was doing it just because Ty was, and I'm not. After she had all the facts she was ok with everything. She's supportive of the things that I need in life, so it's going to be good I feel.   In the seminar last week, the women that came up to talk about their success stories told us that you learn who your true friends are after Lap-Band. I told my friend this, and I can pretty much peg who is going to have a problem with me loosing weight, and it won't be her. She told me that she isn't my friend because I'm overweight, and she won't be my friend just because I'm skinny, she's my friend because she just is. That is comforting to know.   Well, I need to head to bed, I just wanted to get that out on print before the week starts. I hope everyone has a productive week this week. Until next time.   Shells   P.S. Attached is me at the golf tourney today goofing around.... giving clear evidence on my I need Lap-Band... it's terrible.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

0
 

The Drink

I don't drink often... (not since Japan) but Ty does. Last night we both got pretty drunk, and this morning I had proof of the night in the feeling of my body. IT HURT. But now I'm wonder how one drinks with Lap Band. I know that I can give up alcohol... I think, but I know Ty will have a harder time. We like to go out with our friends, but how does it work with the band? Just some thoughts that I'm having. I'm pretty tired today, after work a 10 hour shift of overtime, and now I am sitting on my couch watching Pride and Prejudice and getting ready for bed. We have an early morning, our company golf tournement, Ty is a very good golfer, I wish he would go golfing more often.   I hope everyone is having a great weekend. Any answers on the alcohol question would be awesome.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

4
 

Last Night Was Amazing!

And it was only a seminar! After a slightly stressful drive over there, because GoogleMaps is the worst, thank god for my iPhone.... Ty and I arrived about 10 mintues late. I had this image in my head of them turning us away because we were late and I was so scared that I would have to wait a month to go to the next one, but they let us right in, lol.   It was amazing to see and hear all the facts about obesity in America, I was shocked by some of it. The doctor running the seminar kept calling it a disease, that obesity is the fastest spreading emidemic in America and that we should consider it a disease. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I know that due to genetics, some people are more proned to being overweight then others, but I really feel like it's more of a culture issue. Our portion sizes in America are out of this world. When I first arrived to Japan in January I honestly thought I was going to have to order two of everything when we went out to eat beacuse the portions were so small there, but after about 2 weeks I found that I could "survive" off the portions that they served just fine, that it was indeed, enough food.   We learned about the 4 different types of surgeries that they offer, and all the pros and cons. Then they had three lovely ladies come up who had had the surgery and give their story. That was actually pretty cool, until the audience started focusing more on succes stories, then having important questions answered. That was the frustrating part. I thought that people there would be more prepared like I was, with a list of important questions and ready to just open fire while the surgen was there. And when did raising your hand to ask a question go out of style? My arm got so tired while being raised and having to wait because people were just blurting out questions that I had to rest it on Ty for support. (I don't wan to sound like a b*tch and say that no one should have been asking questions but me, lol, it was just a lot of questions were about clothes and such, and before and after pictures. I just wanted to tell everyone about this site and say "go there! They have awesome b & a pics! but please, I need to know some things first!" but I didn't )   So, as we were walking out, I was eager to set up the next appointments for Ty and me and when I spoke to the lady in charge of that, she asked why we hadn't filled out the insurance sheet (where she calls and checks with our insurance for free) and I told her that I had called about 2 weeks ago and that our insurance didn't cover the band because our employer has decided to exclude it from our coverage. ( I was proud that I could tell her verbatim what was told to me 2 weeks ago) (and I also thought this was something she must hear everyday) She asked if they covered any other WLS and I said yes, gastro bypass and she said she wanted our information, because it's almost illegal for them to cover one but not the other, because the band is FDA approved. So that is what I am doing today, filling out the insurance forms for Ty and myself to fax in. If we can save 30,000 by not self-paying, I'm sure I can find it in my heart to wait a bit longer to have the surgery, plus 30,000 can buy me the new boobs that I've always wanted, or at least some jeans that fit right after I lose weight. lol   Sorry this was so long, I was just so excited about last night, I would have posted last night if the drive home wasn't 2 hours long, but luckily for all you folks, it's time for me to get ready for work and finish my last day of training. Hopefully I passed the test yesterday so that I'm not going to training today for nothing.   Happy Friday!   ~Shelley
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

It Feels As If....

....I'm getting the band tomorrow, and I'm just going in for a seminar. Ty just told me that he is confused on why we are going, he says that with all my research I should have all the information. But I have a Million questions that I need answered! This is normal right? ....It feels like Christmas Eve right now... I don't even know how I'm going to get through work tomorrow. I'll need to figure out a way to stay focused... I have a career altering test tomorrow afternoon. Game on.     Have a great night and an awesome day tomorrow.     ~Shelley
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

3
 

A Struggle...

Last night, while crunching numbers with Ty, he asked if maybe we should wait until I came home from Japan (May 2013) to have the surgery done instead of at Christmas time, since by then we would have all the money saved up, instead of 10 grand and financing the rest, then paying off the credit card with my per diem from Japan. It only took me a moment to answer, and I knew it wasn't a good idea. If I have to wait for a year to have the surgery done, then I wouldn't get it. I'm already in the wrong mind set now, "why work out when I know that I'll have the band in 6 months?" "No it's ok, we can eat out tonight, in December is when we will get strict with food." I know that I should still be taking the healthier steps in life, but it's growing more difficult to do when I know that the surgery is actually going to happen. I would probably gain a hundred pounds if I waited a year for the surgery.   On the topic of Japan, I have the thought in the back of my head that it might be a bad idea for me to leave a few weeks after getting the surgery. I'm worried Ty won't be able to stay on the strict diet by himself and that he will need some sort of support system close... instead of me being in Japan, face-timing him when we have the chance. I hope that I am just not giving him enough credit and that he will be fine. He just isn't as open about it as I am. I'm addicted to saving money and researching as much as I can, and he thinks I'm being silly. But I know that if I don't do it then it won't get done. Hopefully everything just works out as it should. I'm getting excited about the upcoming seminar in two days, hopefully that will make it more real for Ty and he will get more involved. He likes looking at everyone's Before and After pictures on this site with me, but not reading the forums. (He's more visual then withthe written). Well, these were just some of my thoughts that I had from today. I'm in four days of training, so I have a lot of time with my thoughts.   I'm getting my Nuclear Qualification for work... and if you don't know anything about Nuclear work, I'll tell you right now, it's not as dangerous as one may think.... it's almost boring once you learn how it works. Nothing really special.   Good night LBT.com, I hope everyone finds themselves happy in the morning.   ~Shel
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

0
 

An Add On From The Last

I just looked over my post from last night, I was pretty much delirious from exhuastion and it seems I have a lot of random thoughts in it. I had just gotten done with a softball game. I didn't have as much fun last night as the first game I played because it didn't start until 9:00 pm... that’s my bed time.   Softball, along with other team sports is kind of a difficult concept for me. I'm a great "team player" in the morale department, but when it comes to other people depending on me that's when it becomes nerve racking. In jounior high and high school the only sport I "played" was swimming. I swam year round, and I was in the best shape of my life. I miss not having the ability to swim on a club team now as an adult. The great thing about a club swim team is that everything is individual, there really isn't anyone depending on you to help their race. Besides cheering someone on you couldn't help them physically. I feel like that is how anyone's Lap-Band journey is. Besides cheering on my boyfriend, I'm not going to be able to 'force' him to lose weight.   I think that is why Ty suggested that we do it together, to support eachother and to have something to share together for the rest of our lives, and I like that idea. I just wish we didn't have to wait 6 months to get everything going.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

0
 

And So It Begins...

About a week ago, my boyfriend and I decided that this is our option and choice, Lap-Band surgery. The path that we will take to better our lives and selves before getting married and having children. I have tried so many ways to lose weight, but what ever small amount I lose, I always gain back, and now I am at my heaviest. I blame myself though and my lack of self control. I was in Japan for the first two months of the year and I went without a vast variety of foods that we take for granted, so when I came home from Japan I ate everything I didn't have for two months. So now I'm 275 pounds, almost pullin 3 bills, and it makes me sick. Tyler says that he is the heaviest that he has ever been, over 300 pounds, but he refuses to exercise, he's lazy that way. He thinks it's all about his portions, and that with Lap-band that will be the jump start he needs. I believe him, I feel like if he knew that he had a helping hand that it would be what he needed. Same for me too.   We are planning on getting the surgery in December (Tyler is going on a 6 month trip to San Diego for work and will be home close to Christmas). We are self-paying so I want to save up as much as we can so that we don't have to finance the whole thing.   My biggest issue right now is that I know for sure this is what we want to do, now I just have to wait 6 months, but it's completely changed my thought process. Now when I'm working out ( I do Crossfit, extreme cardio and weight lifting) it feels so hard and difficult and I find myself saying, "This shouldn't be so hard." And when I am making meal choices for me and Tyler, I sometimes go with the unhealthy choice with the back thought, my life will start anew in December. I need to get out of this mind set. I know that eating healthy and working out I'm not going to lose enough weight to not need the surgery in december, My goal weight is 165. Tyler says his is 200. These I feel are good goal, and obtainable once the surgery is complete. We shall see.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1

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