That its possible to live without food running your life. I am in a very veryy small town visiting family in Pennsyvania.....Bobtown, PA. Ya, go ahead and look that up on a map. Anyway, it's been a running joke in my family that if you need to loses weight, take a trip back home to Bobtown. Growing up and even in my younger adult years I never fully understood why this worked.
See, the family that lives here, my aunt and uncle and my pap pap and a few other random older relatives, and all my cousins, they are all skinny, and fit, and beautiful. They have always been like this. They are very active and play sports through college and maintain a good workout schedule. THEY RARELY EAT! This is no exaggeration.... I have been here for over 48 hours, during the parts of the days where if I was at home I would have eaten probably 11ish times (breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, dessert) and since being here, I have eaten 4 times. FOUR.
When I was younger, I used to think that it was because they couldn't afford food like my parents. (This is a very poor old mining town, just like the little towns that surround it) and that made sense to me.... But now, as I visit them during the begining of my lap band journey, after learning the things that I have learned and after seeing my nutritionist amd practicing the skills I'll need after surgery, I realize that my family here in Bobtown have had it right the whole time. It wasnt necessarily because the didn't have the financial means to eat like I always have while growing up and now (to much and terrible food)... It's because they EAT TO SURVIVE not survive to eat. Food isn't a priority, it isn't an emotnal blanket, it isn't a pass time here. They don't keep massive amounts of food in the house because its unneeded. And that is the way that I need to start living.
Found my engagement ring this morning!!!! Right where it was supposed to be.... weird, but so happy that that is over. Scary feeling! So now I going to clean my house, then wait until 4 so that I can see the new Twilight, then go to bed. Then tomorrow I'm going to make my last few calls to figure out this insurance thing and then.... COMMIT! I can feel it! less than 6 months and I KNOW that I'm going to be banded!!
Now to just start working on changing a few habits to get ahead of the game. Like eating slower and not drinking while eating. those are going to be two hard habits to break. If anyone has any advice on how to start to break these habits go ahead and let me know!
I am on day 6 post op and its finally getting better. I have been researching and researching for the past 8 months about lapband, but NOTHING could have prepared me for day of surgery and the 5 days following. I'm still a bit sore when breathe deep, and when I get hungry. But I'm definately ready to eat mushy foods, my protein shakes are making me sick and nothing sounds good anymore. Except pizza. I have been craving pizza for two weeks. But I'm ready. I'm ready to get back in the gym and I'm ready to really ready to start my journey.
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I just have to first start by letting you know that I am commiting my guilty pleasure... Listening to a song on repeat.... I am a huge music fanatic. I don't like a particular genre, I like what I like. Sometimes, it's the beat or the hook that makes me fall in love with a song, or even a voice. Or a duo.... I'm IN LOVE with the soundtrack from Pitch Perfect (if you haven't seen this movie, stop what you are doing right now and go get it, if you don't fall in love, or at least like it, I will personally buy your copy from you) Everytime Ty and I watch it (which is at least once a week... I know, I'm a geek) Ty has to remind me that the character "Fat Amy" was supposed to be my star role.
The song that that I'm jamming to is Since U Been Gone, sung by Ester Dean and Skylar Astin.
***side note.... If you want a good booty shakin song to; workout to, dance/party to, get yourself happy to, make yourself feel incredible and sexy to, download Drop It Low by Ester Dean ft. Chris Brown*** *warning, there are swear words... So cop the edit version cause even for you ladies and gents that keep it clean you'll still want to shake it to this song (and I commend you on keepin it clean, but you can argue dancing! ~unless you're from Bomont ~ )
But this duo from Pitch Perfect is soooo good. (lol I switched to Drop It Low for a sec cause it got me wantin to hear it)
As you can see I am most certainly distracted from waiting for my final appointments. The time is passing by nicely. There were a few days that I became a little obsessed with researching people being approved on my same insurance and I have yet to find anyone anywhere who was denied, but I still have it in my head that I'm going to have to fight the first decision. This is what I get for working for the government for the last 7 years, I have doubt in everything now.
12 days until my last appointments, ad luckily I have been keeping myself occupied pretty well.... MUSIC! And riding my bike. I'm such a nerd.... Oh well!!
Sorry I was so random on this blog... I'm just HAPPY! So! A three day weekend is coming up for most of us, I hope no one has to work, cause that will give you time to:
-go rent or buy (you'll wish you bought it of you rent) Pitch Perfect and if you have already seen it.... Watch it again!
-hit up iTunes and download songs from the soundtrack, they'll make you happy.
- then either download or look up on YouTube Drop It Low and shake that booty! You know you wanna!
Happy losing to everyone!!
It's been so long since I've even signed on to this site, I didn't like the change. But I kept changing myself! I am down 73 pounds and at a bit of a road block... because I'm PREGNANT! I'm 17 weeks pregnant and now my weight is creeping up a little bit. I had to have a cc removed from my band because I was so sick in the first trimester. It's crazy, it's been 11 months and I don't know what to write. ANY questions for me? I need to get into the flow of things again!
Shelley
My oh my, it has been a long minutes since I have posted anything. It's hard for me to come to this site now as much as I did before I was banded. I think I used this site as a distraction from the waiting for surgery. Now that I'm banded I am distracted by the fact that this is a lifetime commitment to change and dedication. Figuring out what works for me, what doesn't work. How to find a substitute for the things that I can't stand and for things to feel somewhat normal to me. After my first fill I was a bit upset that my band is now half full and I'm not even two months into my journey. And while explaining my feelings to Ty he calmly looked at me and said, "You're going to have to make it work. It's not like they are going to go in and remove your band to replace it with a bigger one. It's a shitty mistake but you didn't like surgery, so now make it work." And he's right. Surgery was pretty much the most traumatic thing I have ever done in my life and I would be plenty happy never doing it again. But for the good things;
-My old clothes are starting to fit
-I'm getting stronger at the gym
-I was invited to join a masters swim team * not sure if I'm ready, they are swimming about double the amount of yards that I swim currently :/ *
-Running my first 5k of the year this Sunday... maybe... it might rain and it's the color run. That doesn't really mix well.
To follow me better find me on instagram, I post pictures daily! Screen name: Shell_lb
It's taken me a few days to even look at LBT let alone my blog. Thank you to everyone for your kind words and prayers. It was an emotional weekend for me, dealing with the idea of not being able to get Lap Band until next year and with having to pack Ty up to leave for Diego for 6 months.
I took Ty to the airport this morning, and on the drive home I decided I wasn't going to let this get me. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself. I was denied by Care Credit because of the mistakes I made in the years past. I can't blame anyone but myself. It just sucks that I make enough money to make the payments, just can't get the whole 16000. So I started more research. (I swear... I should work in a college... I'm good at figuring things out) I figured out that I qualify for No Patients Left Behind. ( nopatientsleftbehind.com ) It is a program that helps those of us who have less than perfect credit get the medical loan we need. You just have to be able to put a downpayment down. Which I can do. Which Ty can do also. I think I found my solution. So now I wait for their phone call. I have a half hour before I need to go to work. ( I took half a day off to take Ty and to collect myself before work)
I hope everyone has a glorious Monday. And thank you again to all my "family" here on LBT
Shells
Got the information back about our insurances... and it's a no go. I think I would be more upset if we hadn't already planned on self paying before calling the insurance company again. Our insurance complany only covers Gastric Bypass and inhouse only. Which figures, because it's Group Health. So that's the bad news, the good new/great news is that now that we know we are self paying, I havemade our appointments for consults!! June 29th it's go time!! I'm a little bummed Ty and I are going to be laying down 30,000 dollars, but I couldn't think of a better reason!
Ty is more on board than ever, he has already given up soda, he is on 4 days, no soda. I'm so proud of him. Even though he only drinks diet, but still, a huge step in the right direction.
I'm not sure how to bring up the subject to my friend from yesterday, we were drinking and now I'm not sure how to talk about it again. Maybe wait until she asks how it is going. Maybe after my appointment.
I'm just happy because it feels more real now. Now it's time to buckle down, save our monies, and follow through with everything. Sorry this is so short, just had to share the news.
Until next time.
~Shells
And it saddens me so. I wish that I could say that things are going the way they should be and that I have been banded, but I haven't and it still looks like I'm going to have to wait a year or more. And that isn't a good thing. I have given up in a sense. I have gained weight and I can't seem to get modivated to do anything about it in the mean time. I need to start working out to slowly start taking off the weight so that I don't reach 300lbs. I just don't know how it got so bad. I wish that my insurance covered the surgery or at least helped out. Ty doesn't seem to care, and that makes me think that he doesn't care if it happens or not, which makes me more depressed about the whole situation. I wish we could find a co-signer to help with the CareCredit but I guess I will just have to wait.
Other news though... which is great news... I'm ENGAGED! Ty proposed to me about a month and a half ago while I was visiting him in San Diego. Super excited. We won't be married though for a few years, because I want to lose weight before hand.
Until next time.
Shel
*I guess I'll have to fake it 'til I make it*
I am still doing the research on switching insurance. But I found out that the surgeon and facility that we orginially went to is accepted by the new insurance. It is the most amazing feeling!!
My only problem in life right now?? I miss placed my engagement ring... I need to find that thing!!
....I'm getting the band tomorrow, and I'm just going in for a seminar. Ty just told me that he is confused on why we are going, he says that with all my research I should have all the information. But I have a Million questions that I need answered! This is normal right? ....It feels like Christmas Eve right now... I don't even know how I'm going to get through work tomorrow. I'll need to figure out a way to stay focused... I have a career altering test tomorrow afternoon. Game on.
Have a great night and an awesome day tomorrow.
~Shelley
Does everyone else panic a little when the website is down? My first thought was, "What am I going to read about all day at work?" I checked frequently through out the day. Anyway...
Today I filled out my medical history for the surgeon. Each step forward makes me smile bigger. I just need to make sure Ty fills out his.
I think I have made the decision to not travel for at least a year after I have the band put in december, which breaks my heart because I was most likely going to Japan for 4 months at the begining of the year, and I love Japan. I just doesn't make any sense for me to leave for 4 months after having surgery. I won't be able to get any fills and what if there is a complication? It just makes me sad because that was how we were going to pay off the care credit card, I would have made 16000 in perdiem. Tears me up.
Anyway, I'm almost off work, better pack up. Until next time.
~Shells
Ty is the best man for me!
Today after we both had to work 10 hour overtime shifts at work (yuck, but the money is to good to not go in) wehad to drive to a near by city to drop is car off for work. It was about an hour and 15 minute car ride, so we had time to talk on the way home, and I asked him what he wanted me to do with the appointments. And he asked me what I wanted, and I told him the truth, that I wanted to keep the appointments and for him to come home in december and for us to get banded in December like we originally planned. And then he said no matter what, we would be banded in December! He said that if he gets extended, he'll just fly home and take a bit of time off, then fly back. My night has been made. I know that this is short, but I'm just so happy!
Have a great rest of the weekend everyone!!
I need something to do while waiting for surgery... I keep gaining!! I just don't know what to do anymore. Any time I get dressed or eat or something, I feel like bursting into tears. Ty told me today he has lost 5 pounds since he stop drinking diet soda.... I NEVER DRINK SODA!! It isn't fair!! I'm over this!
I hope everyone has a good week.
~Shells
Tonight is the first time in my entire life that I have cancelled plans to go out because I didn't feel comfortable in my clothes or own skin. My friends that I cancelled on (who weigh 125lbs soaking wet) are pretty upset, but I just told them I wasn't feeling good.
I have been feeling pretty terrible about myself lately, and that just makes me think negatively about my approval for the band, my sex drive is at an all time low for the first time that I can remember, and now this, crying on the way to Seattle for a concert and having to turn around and go home.
I feel blessed that I am able to talk openly with Ty and my best friend April, as she knows how I feel right now because she is 9 months pregnant. It's different, but the same.
My approval/denial news can't come soon enough. It's to the point where the weekend is becoming a burden because I know it's not a business day.
Happy losing everyone.
Even though I completed on of the steps that I needed to before my next appointment (requesting 2 years worth of medical records) it feels like this is going to be the longest month of my three month supervised diet. I just want it to be February 26th, but I know for sure that when that day finally rolls around, I'm going to be waiting for the next day. So much waiting to be healthy!!
I haven't posted in a hot minute, but I have a good reason for that. I have been TDY in Everett for the last week on 12 hour days. It takes a lot of you... and week has kinda blurred together. But I go home on Monday (tomorrow). Which I'm pretty happy about. Ty is also here TDY too and on the same schedule and that adds to the stress and draining feeling. Don't get me wrong, I love that boy, but it's a lot to be around eachother at every waking moment.
So, on Thursday, November 28th, I started my supervised diet, so hopefully surgery will happen in the begining of March. So right now my goal for the month is to start eating more protien at breakfast and to start getting 30 minutes of excerise 2 days a week. It's all about small changes to make a big lifestyle change. My next appointment is Decmeber 20th.
I got my camera! So stay tuned for my vlog! I'll let ya know!
Time for bed, work in the morning! Yippy.
Night!
Today started out
Oh Tuesdays
Last night even after trying on jeans
Bleck! I can’t even start a post! When I was in college in 2004, I took a creative writing class and the instructor would give us 10 minutes to close your eyes and type (for those who can do that, which is probably 80% of the population in this day and age) but she would tell you not to delete anything, just type. After the 10 minutes, go back and copy and paste the parts of whatever you just wrote into a story. I guess I never fell out of that habit, for I LOVE to write. I hope to have a few books published before I die.
Last night, before I went to attempt jean shopping, I went to Lane Bryant to try on a swim suit that I ordered off line just to make sure that it was going to fit and actually make me look decent enough to wear it in public. I tried it on and fell in love with it and now I’m so excited to get it in the mail. I went home and told Ty that I was so happy, that I found a suit that looks good on me and that we would have so much fun in San Diego. I felt good about myself, which is something I haven’t felt in a while.
Well, then it came to be bed time, I started a load of laundry because right now I only have 1 pair of jeans that I wear to work that fit me. I forgot to get up early and put them in the dryer with enough time for them to be dry for work…. Well now I don’t have any pants! So I tear apart my room looking for the only other pair that actually fit me and they have been eaten by a monster or something. Just my luck. I find a pair that I know are too small, but are the only ones that I’m going to be able to button.
THEY ARE TIGHT. I have to use a hair tie to make an expansion so that I can make it through the day… I debate calling in, then I remember that I need to save leave to go to San Diego to visit Ty… I walk out of the bathroom and continue on with gathering my things for work, and Ty says, “See you found them!” I had to shut him down quickly and inform him that these jeans are too small. He asks for a hug and I tell him I don’t want to give him a hug because I feel terrible. So he hugs me and tells me that I look fine, and I had to tell him about the hair tie. THEN HE LAUGHED!! Boys are dumb. I almost burst into tears. I had to tell him it isn’t funny, and then the apologized, which I believe, but still.
So now I’m at work… I started the morning off feeling sorry for myself. Then it was iPod time…Music is my everything. I grew up with music in my house all the time. After listening to a few songs, I was in a bit of a better mood and I realized I put myself in this mess; I’m on the right path to taking myself out.
This is my time.
Some movies, a facial mask...a face wash...a face steam with peppermint...and then alcohol swabbed onto my face. We shall see if this is the perfect combination treatment or if this will irritate my skin further.
ETA of my gorgeous camera is the 29th... a day after my first appointment. So I am planning on recording my first vlog then! I'm so excited to document everything! Hopefully my skin is cleared up by then :wub:
It's pretty late (for me) so I'm off to bed. Night!
To thinking about lap band. I wish I could occupy my mind with something else, but for the most part I'm hooked. When working, whn Ivey out of breath, I just think about being banded. Everything banded.... All the time. I need a distraction.
When I'm smaller. Instead of worrying about laying in an uncomfortable position to make sure my rolls, chins, big boobs, and other things don't create unwanted tan lines. I can't wait until I am able to just lay down and not worry about it. This is just one of my many non scale victories.
Tomorrow I am going to start swimming laps, and walking or biking to work. And Ty is going to start walking home from work to get in his 30+ minutes of exercise for the day. I just need it to be the end of the month.
Happy losing everyone! Have a great week!
Shelley
So AGRAVATED right now!!
I can’t stand the shop that I work for! (In the shipyard we are broken up by specific trades <shops> and we all have our own General Forman and Superintendants for each shop) well, my shop thinks it’s ok to treat everyone unfairly and it makes me want to quit. I would have quit years ago if I didn’t make so much money, but alas, here I am almost 7 years into my career working for a moronic upper management with a dilapidated system to attempting to keep order in a sea of sh*t. Each year we are “graded” on our performance, which has always been a screwed up system to begin with, and the higher you score, the larger your bonus will be. Well last year they came out with a new rule that you couldn’t grade your workers to high, and then there was a set limit on how many Significant Strengths you could give a worker, well some supervisors follow this rule and some don’t. I just found out that a co-worker of mine was graded 12 S.S. when I was only given 2. I was only given 2 because the limit for our shop is 5 and when I had my evaluation done with was with a supervisor I had only worked for for a month. I told him that I wasn’t comfortable with him giving me my evaluation due to me only being on his crew for a month and I asked him to please contact my previous supervisor for more information on my work ethic. He said that he would call my General Forman, because he felt the same way. (My last supervisor at the time was while I was in Japan at the beginning of the year) My G.F. told my supervisor at the time, that it would be to hard for him to contact my pervious supervisor because he was still in Japan and that I would just have to deal with it.
LONG STORY SHORT.... I ATE A FREAKING DONUT BECAUSE I HATE WHERE I WORK. And you know what? It tasted like heaven dipped in baby angel tears. I almost want another.
That I may actually be able to get banded. But that's what I get for working for the government, to afraid to think something good might happen cause it hardly ever does. My paperwork was submitted yesterday and the general consensus of everyone from this site and from others is that they were approved in 7 days or less, I still have a feeling I will be denied. The government has ruined me.... I just need the next week to fly so I can start my new life!
It was interesting....
It was most definitely a PINCH... A long pinch. I found out that I have a 10cc band, and after surgery I had 4cc in it. They added another 1cc today. I'm nervous because my band is now half full and I have only just beginning my journey.....
Well, bed time. Up to swim in the early am.
Oh! I got weighed today. I'm 265! Good enough loss for me.
Happy losing everyone and the weekend is close on us!
