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bringin it.

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My day.... WITH PICTURES!!

I don't even know how to begin to describe my day... it's been a pretty good one. How about I just walk you through it. 4:20am: My alarm goes off informing me that I have 5 minutes to get out of bed. "Don't tell me how to live my life alarm... I do me." I spend the next 4 minutes contemplating skipping the gym since I have been working so hard lately. I deserve a break right? 4:24am: I check my daily horoscope.   4:25am: So I get up, realizing the only that is holding me back from success is me. The only thing that has held me back for the last 20+ years has always been me. I am my own maker. So I get out of bed and head to the bathroom. 4:27am: I pull out the scale. I know that I shouldn't be doing this, that I should wait. But on Sunday I weighed myself after a 4 day weekend from work and knew that I could have done better and weighed myself at my parent's house and saw that I had gained 3 pounds. No sirree! This is a one way express to the new me, so I decided there and then it was go time. That I was failing my band when all it was trying to do was fulfill its destiny. To save my life. So now I've decided to weigh myself at least once a week to make sure I'm at least heading in the right direction. So this morning when I got on the scale... what did I see you may ask?? Pa dow! That's what I saw. Under 260! Haven't seen that in about a year and a half! 4:28am: Run screaming from the bathroom and jump onto Ty who is completely asleep. Tell him the news and watch him have an internal struggle of trying to show happiness for me and not punch me in the face for screaming and jumping on him at 4:30 in the morning. 5:00am: Get to the gym and jump on the treadmill. I chose the treadmill because I am doing a 30 day fitness photo challenge on instagram (Follow me! Shell_LB) and today's picture is supposed to be of "Calories Burned" So away I went. 5:42am: Then this happen....   FML right? What are ya gonna do? Fast forward to talking to my best friend who moved 3000 miles away from me to get married. Boo. She is having trouble get motivated to work out and eat right, so I just told her what I was doing. And how it is so helpful. All the journaling, food logs, counting, working out. ACCOUNTABLITY. This is part of conversation.     Welcome to my life...   And now I am at work... blogging.... I should win employee of the year! After work (hour and a halfish) I'm going to Costco for a few things, then River fitness Boot Camp. Gotta get that booty in shape. My Goal is 250 by the end of June... I may need to come up with a new goal. ;D
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

It's Been A Long Time...

My oh my, it has been a long minutes since I have posted anything. It's hard for me to come to this site now as much as I did before I was banded. I think I used this site as a distraction from the waiting for surgery. Now that I'm banded I am distracted by the fact that this is a lifetime commitment to change and dedication. Figuring out what works for me, what doesn't work. How to find a substitute for the things that I can't stand and for things to feel somewhat normal to me. After my first fill I was a bit upset that my band is now half full and I'm not even two months into my journey. And while explaining my feelings to Ty he calmly looked at me and said, "You're going to have to make it work. It's not like they are going to go in and remove your band to replace it with a bigger one. It's a shitty mistake but you didn't like surgery, so now make it work." And he's right. Surgery was pretty much the most traumatic thing I have ever done in my life and I would be plenty happy never doing it again. But for the good things;   -My old clothes are starting to fit -I'm getting stronger at the gym -I was invited to join a masters swim team * not sure if I'm ready, they are swimming about double the amount of yards that I swim currently :/ * -Running my first 5k of the year this Sunday... maybe... it might rain and it's the color run. That doesn't really mix well.   To follow me better find me on instagram, I post pictures daily! Screen name: Shell_lb
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

Down a Size

So I bought new jeans last night, I am a size down... actually a size and a half. I got into a pair of 18 jeans, buttoned them up and got the zipper up. But that doesn't mean that I should be wearing them. I have a No Muffin Top policy. It doesn't bother me to buy the size up to insure that the jeans fit the way that they are meant to. But I bought the 18s along with the size 20 that fits the way that it should, because the sale was pretty good. Silver jeans aren't cheap and I got them for buy one get one half off, so instead of paying $100 each It came out to about $75, which is a come up! And now I have a better judgment of my shrinking size since I don't weigh myself anymore. I fell like if I continue to work out the way that I have been, then the jeans will fit in a month or less.   And for the people who will read this and think I'm crazy for buying 100 dollar jeans, I will tell you this. More expensive clothes fit the way that they are supposed to. The cheaper you buy, the worse the fit and the more alterations you will have to do if you want them to fit the way that they should. But, I will add, I take good care of my clothes, so I can sell them afterwards. I normally get upward of 50 dollars for each of my jeans because they are sturdy enough not to wear through the thighs. And when I buy dresses or going out shirts, I don't mind spending a lot, even though I'm only going to wear it once, because I always end up selling it for about what I paid for it.   I had a different breakfast this morning and it rocked my world. English Muffin with peanut butter and strawberries. So glad it wasn't yogurt. I'M SO OVER YOGURT!   Had my first Stuck moment yesterday during lunch. It was horrific. I was in public... with my sister... who doesn't know I had wls... so I told her I was choking a little. I couldn't get it to come up, so I drank water. I never want that to happen again. And the moment I swallowed the food I knew I had effed up. And I did. And this is why I will wait another month to eat a sandwhich.   Happy losing everyone. The weekend is close! Shelley
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

So Random

This is going to be pretty random, I apologize in advance.   Went swimming this morning with my sister and my cousin. My sister doesn't know that I had wls but my cousin does, she's actually the one that took me to the hospital on the day of the surgery. Anyway, my cousin told me that I was losing weight () but that my boobs have gotten smaller (D:) It's only a small set back because Ty told me that after I am done having kids, he will go to Japan and save a bunch of money and then I get a boob job ( :D)   I haven't weighed myself in about 2 weeks. I'm slightly curious as to how much I weigh, but more curious on if I can buy new jeans. I am going to the mall to buy a new pair on Friday. Hoping I have moved down a size in the jean department. I know that I have lost an inch or so on my upper body because my jacket fits looser.   So I didn't make a lunch for today. I try to prepare my lunch the night before, especially the night before I'm going to be waking up earlier to go swimming, but last night I was nauseated and I couldn't figure out what to make for lunch. Nothing sounded good at the time, and now besides my breakfast, my lunch bag was empty. I mean I can go buy something, but it was just disheartening to know that I was nauseated for some reason and that it affected the sound of food for the next day. I also have decided that I need to figure out some other breakfast because I am getting tired of yogurt. But it's just so much protein and I know that I need it, but it's becoming a chore to choke it down. I think I am going to start looking into some sort of frozen breakfast thing that I can start switching out with the yogurt. Maybe do every other day yogurt.   I've been working out a lot, which is good I guess, but it seems like all I do every day is work, workout, and sleep. Does anyone else feel this way? How much is the norm for working out in the beginning?   Ugh... it's only Wednesday, bring on the weekend.  
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

3
 

Some Thoughts and Plans and Goals

It's been a long while since I have posted, and I'm just sitting here planning my new life and figured I would check in with the few people who read my blog. I hope everyone is doing well and losing what they are working so hard for. I don't actually know what I have lost or gained lately because I decided to stop weighing myself. I was becoming obsessed and making myself sick when I would "plateau" for a day or two. Which I know is normal, especially since I'm not even a month out from surgery. So I haven't gotten on my scale in over a week I think. Which is kinda nice actually, the first 2 days were pretty hard, but now it's nice not worrying about it and knowing that on the 25th I'll know.   The 25th is my fill date. I know that I'm going to need the fill, because as of right now when I eat my cup of food it only keeps me full for 2 hours, 3 if I push through the hunger pains. So I am eagerly waiting for my appointment to get a fill, if I wasn't such a wuss I would go sooner, but I need Ty to go with me because I'm scared for some reason, and the 25th is when he has his last two appointments.   So I joined the YMCA last night, because our stupid government is broke and the base pool is going to be closed until sometime next year. And I just want to swim! And at the Y I can take Zumba classes. which I love. But if the government wasn't broke-dizzle then I wouldn't have to be spending 40 a month to swim. Which in retrospect isn't that bad since when I swam on a club team it was over a hundred dollars a month for me to swim.   So on the topic of swimming, I have created a challenge for myself. I have found a website www.100swimmingworkouts.com that has..yup! you guessed it, 100 swim workouts to do. They start out for beginners with nothing over 1000 yards and builds up to swimming 2 miles by the end of the 100 work outs. I am waiting on a phone call from either my surgeon or nurse to tell me when I am cleared to swim. And when they give me the ok, I am giving myself 6 months to complete the 100 workouts. I am hoping to build up to swimming 5 times a week, which would mean that I would only really need 5 months, but hey, I'm human. I'm giving myself a month buffer incase I skip or miss a workout.   If anyone is interested in doing this with me, let me know. I would love to have a motivating companion that I can help motivate right back. I have always loved swimming, and it is one of the healthiest things that I have ever done that I loved as much as food. So I'm ready to get back into the swing of things. I'm hoping I won't be a complete mess when I first jump into the pool.   Well that's pretty much it for now. Love to hear from anyone with help or a simple hello! Happy losing everyone! Shelley
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

It's Getting Better....

I am on day 6 post op and its finally getting better. I have been researching and researching for the past 8 months about lapband, but NOTHING could have prepared me for day of surgery and the 5 days following. I'm still a bit sore when breathe deep, and when I get hungry. But I'm definately ready to eat mushy foods, my protein shakes are making me sick and nothing sounds good anymore. Except pizza. I have been craving pizza for two weeks. But I'm ready. I'm ready to get back in the gym and I'm ready to really ready to start my journey.   Follow me on Instagram! Shell_LB
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

After Surgery....

Surgery went well, I was pretty terrified, cried before and the woke up crying. The conversation that I had while waking up: Me: (soft sobs) I just want to get married. Nurse: Awe, that's sweet. Do you have a boyfriend? Me: (long pause) Well that's a dumb question. Why would I want to get married without a boyfriend? The nurse just laughed.   Today, I'm pretty sore, gas pains come and go, and I've stayed on top of my Vicodin to avoid pain. Went walking around the mall today with my brother, the came home cause I was tired. But I'm happy I did it.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

3
 

So Scared...

I've never had surgery before and I'm terrified. I don't understand how anesthetic works and that scares me. I'm ready to be home. That's all. Mumford and Sons playing to keep me calm, and it's working.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

Captain's Log, Day 4...

I had my final appointment with my surgeon before my surgery on Friday. It was weird to be off routine for my liquid diet, and it caused me to stray from the path that I have laid down for myself. Because the clinic that I am working with is about 2 hours away, I froze one of my protein shakes so that when I got hungry in the afternoon, I would have a cold shake. Well, I froze the shake solid and it wasn't close to being thawed out and It came time to where I could feel my tummy grumbling. So when I finally got home I popped one of my frozen meals into the microwave and waited. And as I waited, Ty made some lumpia for his dinner. After I finished my meal, I made a mistake. I ate two little lumpia. And they were so good. But right after I finished being happy about the taste, I immediately felt guilt. So I got my phone and went to input the lumpia into myfitnesspal I found out that they are 110 calories each. I felt even worse. The only thing I didn't feel bad about was not going over my calories. But I still felt awful.   Then I sat up and said to myself, "I am human, I make choices, some are good, some are better, and some just mean that there is another action to be its companion." So the next thing I looked up on my phone, was when my gym closed. 9pm, so after the food settles in my stomach, I am going to finish the action that I started by eating the lumpia. I'm going to burn those calories and more. I no longer feel guilty, I feel responsible.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

Lost 4 Pounds....

I only took in 620 calories yesterday..... I was worried about starvation mode but I lost weight. I'm going to try to drink 4, I was just never hungry for the 4th one yesterday. I did crash though.... I was in bed before 8. It took me a bit to fall asleep, but I could tell my body was done moving for the day. All I have planned for today is cleaning house and tanning (<----my favorite) I think I'm going to be able to survive this liquid diet, but it's only day 2, lol, we will see. I just gotta keep myself busy.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

APPROVED!

I started this journey in June of 2012.... And today I recieved the news that I am approved for surgery! I will be banded on March 15th. Tomorrow I am starting my liquid pre-op diet. I can't believe it's happening!! This weekend I have so much planned! Cleaning and arts and craft, and finally starting my Vlog! I will keep you posted! Thanks for reading and helping me along the way everyone!
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

3
 

Some Tentative Good News....

So, on Tuesday, the insurance coordinator at the surgery center that I'm working with, called me and of course I managed to miss the call. When I saw the missed call and the voicemail on my phone I almost pooped my pants. I figured I would only hear from her when she found out if I was approved or denied. The message just said, "call me as soon as possible." That doesn't help me much. So I call as fast as I could. She could obviously tell what I thought the call was about, so she started off by telling me that my information and documentation had been sent in and she was waiting to hear (boo). But the reason for her call was to tell me that they would be doing surgeries on Friday, March 15th (which is odd, because they only do fills for half a day on Fridays) but she said they would be at another reputable hospital and it would still be their staff and surgeons, she was telling me this because she asked if I would like to have surgery on that date, and I said yes of course! She said that she was going to call my insurance company and try to get a quick approval and tell them that I had a date. So I hope to hear from her tomorrow or Thursday. She says she sees no reason I should be denied, so my hopes are a little up from where I thought. If I am approved, then I would start my pre-op diet on Friday. AND I AM READY!!!   LoL, I'm up this early because I was in a bike accident at the end of work yesterday (Tuesday) ANSI really jacked up my arm falling. My arm is throbbing and it was keeping me up, so I left the bedroom to not wake Ty, and I'm watching late night tv and blogging!   Happy losing everyone! I hope the next time I post it's to say I'm approved! Shelley
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

I Need This.....

Tonight is the first time in my entire life that I have cancelled plans to go out because I didn't feel comfortable in my clothes or own skin. My friends that I cancelled on (who weigh 125lbs soaking wet) are pretty upset, but I just told them I wasn't feeling good. I have been feeling pretty terrible about myself lately, and that just makes me think negatively about my approval for the band, my sex drive is at an all time low for the first time that I can remember, and now this, crying on the way to Seattle for a concert and having to turn around and go home. I feel blessed that I am able to talk openly with Ty and my best friend April, as she knows how I feel right now because she is 9 months pregnant. It's different, but the same. My approval/denial news can't come soon enough. It's to the point where the weekend is becoming a burden because I know it's not a business day. Happy losing everyone.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

Just As I Expected....

I just finished my psyc eval and my last nutrition appointment, but I'm finally finished. And in classic Group Health fashion, my 2 years of health records still have not made it to the clinic, I hope that they make it there soon so that the insurance coordinator at the clinic can send in all my paperwork to my insurance company. She told me that I should expect an answer in about 2 weeks. Then I will be able to set a date for surgery, and I only have to do 7 days of pre op diet, so I'm hoping I can get the surgery on the 21 of March. The clinic that I am going to doesnt do surgeries on Fridays, so I hope I can get banded on Thursday, so I only have to take 2 days off from work. Pray for my approval please. Happy losing!  
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

Hard To Come To Terms...

That I may actually be able to get banded. But that's what I get for working for the government, to afraid to think something good might happen cause it hardly ever does. My paperwork was submitted yesterday and the general consensus of everyone from this site and from others is that they were approved in 7 days or less, I still have a feeling I will be denied. The government has ruined me.... I just need the next week to fly so I can start my new life!
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

So Close Yet So Far....

Tomorrow is the day of my last two appointments. And for the last month I have wanted time to speed up so much so that this day would come, but in the last couple if days I realized that today isn't really the day that I'm looking forward to, I'm looking forward to the day that I find out I'm approved, to the day that I start my 10 day pre-op diet, to the day that I get banded and start my new life. Tomorrow is just another stepping stone to all of those days. This month has gone by pretty fast though, I have distracted myself with planning my wedding. This evening Ty and I go interview a photographer team. Then tomorrow I have an early dentist appointment, then off to the clinic for my physc Eval and my last nutrition appointment. Then I pray. I have done so much research on my insurance and if people have had any problems being approved and it seems like no one has had any major issues as long as they follow all the rules. And I have, but I just can't shake this feeling of feeling like I am unprepared for a final exam. Did everyone else feel this way too towards the end? I just feel like I have so much riding on one day. Wish me luck, I'll write tomorrow to let you know how it went.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

Now It Feels Like Christmas Is Coming!

24 more days!     Now I have a good ole fashion Christmas countdown until my last two appointments. And I finally found a distraction, planning my wedding. And now sadly, my next week will be filled with doggy time. I have to get rid of my two dogs due to work and other reasons. Next saturday (the 9th) is the drop off date. BOO so I am going to cuddle as much as I can.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2
 

I Feel Like I'm In Limbo....

Even though I completed on of the steps that I needed to before my next appointment (requesting 2 years worth of medical records) it feels like this is going to be the longest month of my three month supervised diet. I just want it to be February 26th, but I know for sure that when that day finally rolls around, I'm going to be waiting for the next day. So much waiting to be healthy!!
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

I Feel Addicted....

To thinking about lap band. I wish I could occupy my mind with something else, but for the most part I'm hooked. When working, whn Ivey out of breath, I just think about being banded. Everything banded.... All the time. I need a distraction.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

5
 

Light At the End of the Tunnel...

is fast approaching. Today I had an appointment with my nutritionist as part of my supervised diet. It went pretty smoothly. We mostly talked about how I would need to take supplements to insure that I am getting all my vitamins and nutrients after surgery. And the rest of my appointment was spent talking about my wedding and my nutritionist wedding. I like her very much. I wish it was awkward to try to contact her to be a friend. We have so much in common. I also talked to the insurance coordinator about everything that I needed to do in the final month of my supervised diet so that I could be completely finished at my next appointment and ready to turn in my case to the insurance company as soon as possible. I need to get the last 2 years of my medical records faxed to the insurance coordinator. I should have done this last month because I switched insurances and now it might be difficult to get them from Group Health, because Group Health is terrible.
Complete a Pysch, questionnaire.
Have a Physch. evaluation done on the same day as my last appointment. (I'm slightly confused on this one... are they going to deny me if I'm to depressed or not depressed enough?)
One last nutrition appointment, on February 26. (I feel like making a count down, out of like construction paper. With the loops that make a chain. I'm just so excited to start my new life)
Tyler had his first appointment today. I'm excited that he has started. I just have this looming fear that I won't be approved and he will be. Waahh!! That would be terrible!   Anywho, I'm off to bed, I'm so tired today.   Happy losing everyone! Shelley
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

As I Sit...

on my couch with teeth whiten trays in and smelling the sweet smell of my tanning lotion left on my skin while typing with my new pretty clean manicure, I realize I spend a lot of time and money on trying to look good....to compensate for the fact that I am not skinny.   On Tuesday I'm going to be calling my Weight loss facility and then my insurance company to make sure of the next few things that need to get done before my last nutrition appointment which is on the 25th of Feb, so I hope to be able to be approved and banded in early March. It seems so far away.   So the reason why I am really writing this blog today.... something that I plan on starting to do again and from here on in. When I was in high school I used to eat in front of a full length mirror that was in the dining room. As I was able to see what i was putting into my mouth and how much of it was entering my body. I used to stop eating long before my plate was empty! and I'm going to start again.   Let me know what you think.
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

It's Refreshing To See...

That its possible to live without food running your life. I am in a very veryy small town visiting family in Pennsyvania.....Bobtown, PA. Ya, go ahead and look that up on a map. Anyway, it's been a running joke in my family that if you need to loses weight, take a trip back home to Bobtown. Growing up and even in my younger adult years I never fully understood why this worked. See, the family that lives here, my aunt and uncle and my pap pap and a few other random older relatives, and all my cousins, they are all skinny, and fit, and beautiful. They have always been like this. They are very active and play sports through college and maintain a good workout schedule. THEY RARELY EAT! This is no exaggeration.... I have been here for over 48 hours, during the parts of the days where if I was at home I would have eaten probably 11ish times (breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, dessert) and since being here, I have eaten 4 times. FOUR. When I was younger, I used to think that it was because they couldn't afford food like my parents. (This is a very poor old mining town, just like the little towns that surround it) and that made sense to me.... But now, as I visit them during the begining of my lap band journey, after learning the things that I have learned and after seeing my nutritionist amd practicing the skills I'll need after surgery, I realize that my family here in Bobtown have had it right the whole time. It wasnt necessarily because the didn't have the financial means to eat like I always have while growing up and now (to much and terrible food)... It's because they EAT TO SURVIVE not survive to eat. Food isn't a priority, it isn't an emotnal blanket, it isn't a pass time here. They don't keep massive amounts of food in the house because its unneeded. And that is the way that I need to start living.  
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

A Stressful Beginning To the New Year....

Back to work...boo Still dealing with the switching of our insurances (Did you know they charge to print out your OWN medical record??) My grandpa that lives across the country is dying...triple boo Dealing with trying to figure out when to fly to PA to deal with that, but last night I remembered that Tyler and I have an emergency savings account that we have a little money from every paycheck go to and that was a huge relief! Finding out I won't have to worry about how to pay for my ticket and ect. Everyone needs a secret savings account that you put in just a little bit, it adds up and you forget about it and then Bam! You have money.   My next appointment is at the end of the month. I need to work harder on meeting my goals. I have been eating on a smaller plate, which is still weird, such a mind game.   Good luck everyone and have a great weekend!
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

1
 

Almost the End of the First....

I'm lying in bed with 31 minutes left of the first of the new year. I'm sad because I am going back to work tomorrow and that's no fun for anyone. So for my new year's resolutions... They may not seem big to most, but they are mine and difficult for me to hold; 1) to stop biting my finger nails and fingers... I want to be a lady with nails that can be painted. 2) to do the 5 dollar bill saving challenge. Whenever I get a 5 dollar bill for change I plan on putting it in my piggie bank instead of spending it. Just 5 dollar bills. 3) to be banded and starting my journey in March.   I have already had 2 of my 4 nutritionist appointments. My last appointment is on Feb. 26 and hopefully everything will be in line for me to get approved and banded shortly after that. Ty says he will be starting his supervised diet soon, he just wanted to give me a bit of a jump start. Well I'm off to bed. Good night and good luck everyone!
Shelleymb

Shelleymb

2

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