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My Journey to a new me!

Entries in this blog

 

Trying to eat

I know this sounds awkward, however, in order to loose you have to be able to feed the muscles what they need to grow strong. I'm not doing a very good job of that right now. I can't get over 1000 a day, and to top it, I have some sort of upest stomach going on right now. I've been sick since last Thursday. Then my period came on Friday! This past week has been bad. I ran 5 miles yesterday and will try to repeat today after my daughters meeting. Stay blessed all!
pamla68

pamla68

2
 

I'm officially a bandster!

I'm back! officially a bandster. Good evening to all those in the state of bandland. It's been six days since I posted, I'm now officially a bandster. Now I do tell you, the waiting was long, but I chose prayer and meditation to keep me lifted. Wanted to talk to Caribqn and Hope, couldn't in pre-op. I entered pre-op at 9:50am. I was put to sleep at 12:59pm, my daughters stated they were called in the waiting room that I was now in surgery at 2:15pm. They received the out of surgery in recovery call at 4:30pm. They were called to my room (where I finally woke up) at 6:00pm. WHEW! What a day. I will never forget June 25th. It felt as important as the day I had my first daughter. I'm not the same person. And I mean that, I feel all grown up. I've got work to do. I'm doing the best I can to be patient and heal, but now the future is just a little .   Now, my hospital stay was a bit discouraging. I feel that hospitals should consist of more staff who are more courteous of bariatric procedures and patients. My first nurse for the evening, asked me how did I pay for my surgery? And got a little upset when I told her I had help from my insurance. She told me a very detailed story of how her brother was near death, and was denied by his insurance and she had to pay for it! I commended her for saving her brothers life, however, is this common for people to treat others different based on self pay and insurance assistance? Keep in mind she was the nurse assistant on duty telling me the details of her family crisis. My grave yard shift nurse pulled back my sheet and said " you had the lap band? Why? You're not big enough? I stated, well ma'am I've lost some weight in preparation for surgery, and at the time I began my journey, I was 269 with a bmi of 42.4 with high blood pressure. Yes, the band was in order for me. I have a hard time keeping it off. I don't feel that I should have needed to explain myself. When I was allowed to have some liquid after the gastrograffin , I was given a box of optifast that looked as if some took it outside and kicked it around in the dirt first. My overnight hospital stay haha! I could have done without and went home the same day. There is yet so much work to be done from the bariatric level. I feel it should be just as important as the nursery floor after a mothers delivery.
pamla68

pamla68

2
 

I'm Approved!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's been along time, I should've let you without a dope beat to step to. Step to, step to, step to, step to, step to. Cause if at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again, Knock the dust off and try again, try again!   My tribute to Aaliyah, and chat of approval!
pamla68

pamla68

2
 

Still going!

As I wait for UHC to approve me, I workout and try to research as much as possible to make sure I'm making the right decision. It is very agonizing waiting on them. I realize 30 days is not long to wait, but it sure seems like it. I have began steps and it is doing something awful to my knees, but I do enjoy the burn upon completion. I'm going to google and find out what I can take to help strengthen my knees so that I can make it through my 45 minutes of steps. I love steps. It feels like it's the only thing good for this big girl shaped like a pepsi cola bottle! It works my butt, hips and legs so good! My appetite has increased and I understand why. So I eat 5-6 small muchies a day (to small to call a meal) I'm trying to workout at least 5 times a week. I know I will have to change in a few months to 7 days a week to fight off that plateau.   I do think about replacements, slippage and other problems that may arise. The best defense is for me to do all I can to follow the rules of banding and make sure if there are any problems they are due to circumstances beyond MY control. Hurry up UHC!:biggrin1:
pamla68

pamla68

1
 

Another day of 3

I had a good 3 mile this morning. It is becoming more and more simple to do. I hope I don't get bored. I'm doing all I can to claim that the surgery is coming. I saw "The Secret" and I must say it was life changing. I have begun to visualize the new slender me. How fine I'm going to be. I will have a journey for all the members of lbt to observe and feel as in some shape, form or fashion, they took part in creating the masterpiece!
pamla68

pamla68

1
 

UHC just received case March 1st!

Why was I told they would submit my paperwork to UHC on February the 21st and UHC told me yesterday they just received it on March 1st! I'm very disappointed. I don't mind being patient however, I don't like being lied to. Your word is your bond. Sometimes that's all you have. If I can't trust you to do as you say, then I just don't. I've cooled off since I found out yesterday my case worker lied to me, but that need to be her last slip up!
pamla68

pamla68

1
 

Waiting on Insurance

I ran to the mail box this morning thinking that certainly there would be a letter there from United Health Care to no avail. I would hope tha tI should be ready to schedule for surgery sometime in April. Now I truly know how everyone talks about the waiting game. I wonder sometimes what will me reaction be. Will I be excited or nervous, relived or frightened. I just don't know. But I do know I and so ready to at least have that portion taken care of. I would say change my life but I feel that moment happened the day I decided to take make my lifestyle changes. I have added supplements to my everyday life, I have began exercising and have improved my grocery list. I'm so proud of where I am.
pamla68

pamla68

2
 

EKG and Xrays

I had these test performed yesterday at Methodist. Wasn't as bad as I thought. Reality sets in now. How I want ot change my life. If I can be who I am 38 years, I can change for another 38 making 72? Did that make since? Anywho, I'm waiting on UHC and the results of those test. Patience is a virtue. It will be two weeks Monday. I'm finding inner peace with excercise and attempting to learnn yoga. I would like to get down to a comfortable size 155-175. I won't complain, I truly feel it will be a blessing if I'm approved and I must use this for what it actually is a tool to a new me. I'm learning to love me. If I don't who will?
pamla68

pamla68

1
 

First Initial consultation a success

Well I attended my first consultation all day last Friday and it was a great success. My paperwork will be submitted to the insurance company Tuesday. I met the BMI requirement (42.4) so let's roll! Now there is the EKG and chest x-ray and I should be underway. I have more supplements than food chices right now. I have done quite a bit of research and discovered there are alot of things missing from my diet. I glad I'm not difficult to get to take pills. I got a little upset with a few of the other people in the room who will have some form of surgery as well. It is as if they are using this as a get skinny trick. What about the meal changes in your life? What about the effect of your family which could change their lives and prevent them from going through what you are going through? How about this is something that should change your life forever? Not a magic pill? The nerve of some people.
pamla68

pamla68

1
 

Tomorrow is Consult day!

I'm beginning to get excited! I have plenty of questions to ask. I don't want to appear to be just someone who is looking for a quick fix. That I am actually concerned about my health longevity. Because I truly am. I feel this is a good time in my life to do so. I'm a divorced mother of 4 daughters and a neice (with me most of the time so you might as well say 5 ladies) I don't want to go through menopause with complications. I currently have mensies that sometimes last two to three weeks which drained me. I take 135 mg of iron a day which I was taking twice a day until my iron count got back up to 16 (I was 1!) Out of the 4 daughters one is dealing with obesity. I feel that I can be a more positive role model for her as well. She is dealing with " I want everyone to like me! Do you like this? do you like that? did I do a good job? syndrome. I pray that this will pass. My older daughter next to her was the same way until she began to love herself more and got to jr high. She's 13 and has gone from a size 14 to a size 8-9. She looks really good. I have to pay attention to her because at times it becomes an obsession. Boy the stars on tv can certainly play a role with our youth can't they? My oldest daughter is an athlete so that's good for her. She is happy with her physic. My baby daughter is to young (6) to call it either way yet. No weight problem though.   Well I had a very good workout this morning and feel great. I beat yesterdays time of 30:32 today was 29:50. Baby steps to some but a victory for me. Don't want to loose any weight before the consultation weigh in. I'm just at bmi allowance of 42.4. I have began to take supplements also: Biotin - to prepare for the weight loss Vit E GNC women's active B12 Magnesium Iron - of course Fish oil I'm sure to add more as time progresses. I also drink 1/2 my body weight in water.   Well I guess I have rattled enough for the day!
pamla68

pamla68

2
 

Feeling great today!

I'm getting excited as it gets coser to Friday. I got up early this morning before work to walk on the treadmill. I got up to 1 1/2 miles in 30:32. Not bad for a lady out of shape. It felt great to be back up on the treadmill. He and I know each other very well. In the past he was there to help me loose 70 lbs, and now he's back. My best friend is my treadmill, oh yes and my steps. I'll be seeing him again real soon. I sweated for like an hour even after showering getting ready for work. I guess thats good too! I was hungry for breakfast for a change. I made sure I drank plenty of water yesterday, about 100ozs to be exact. Not quite half my body weight but quite an improvement for me.
pamla68

pamla68

1
 

4 days till Initial Office visit

HC I called my PCP and the office hasn't sent the letter of approval and the medical records? I knew this was to simple to be happening. I try not to find faults but the steps have been going so smoothly I fear something going wrong. I'm going to call them back tomorrow to make sure they have been faxed to Dr. Madan's office. I look forward to this meeting. I have began to purchase my supplements, albacore tuna, and liquids to sample before I have surgery so I kind find the best tasting ones and stock up on them. I have thought about having colonics before surgery so that perhaps I won't have so many gas problems as mentioned on the board. I'm excited but afraid of the loop holes in paperwork. This has motivated me to set up weekly planners on paper so that I may see what the week hold for my childrens activities and dinner planning. Then I can schedule MY time for exercise, instructional reading, etc.
pamla68

pamla68

1
 

To thy own self be true

I'm going through a break up right now. I don't know if this will help or hurt my road to better fitness. But emotionally I have no appetite. I'm trying to learn to be by myself. I haven't been by myself in 20 years. It's scary. He just doesn't want to be in a relationship, just friends. My friendship means a lot and he doesn't want to loose that. OK. I don't want to get involved with anyone else until I find me. I want to love myself the way I love everyone else. I think that is were the weight came back. In order to make my courtship work, I lost self. I don't like the thought of being alone, but perhaps it's time. I've asked for help to get the ball rolling, and I'm patiently waiting for my consultation next Friday. I'm trying to focus on me, but it is so hard, my heart still hurts.
pamla68

pamla68

3
 

Visited PCP for support letter

Well, I think it went very well, however, the DR. Said I may be disqualified because I take cymbalta. We'll see what the surgeon says. My BP was 145/94:faint: The dr. freaked out because it has never been that high before. He asked if I had eaten alot of high sodium foods and I told him that could be the problem. He stated that if I didn't get approved for the band he will have to prescribe RX. :confused: Don't want that. I told him I would let him know as soon as I knew something. There happen to have been to residencies in the room with me and the dr. explained to them that studies have become available this year that it is impossible for anyone weighing more than 100lbs over their ideal weight to keep the weight off without some form of bariatric procedure. That's the first I've heard of that. It stated that if it works for me, he may have to get a lap-band himself:phanvan . He didn't appear against it, however, I'm sure he would prefer I continue coming to see him with migraines, high blood pressure, fatigue, and borderline diabetes.
pamla68

pamla68

4
 

Made my consultation appointment

Thanks to my buddy Sheila, I change my Dr. choice to Dr. Madan. I have my first appointment on February 16th. I'm excited about it! I have so many questions however, I'm so grateful this board is available. My family has mixed emotions about it. They are worried about the after affects and feel this is a method of starvation. I disagree. It is because I have lost wait before with adipex, phentamine (sp?), over the counters and such to loose the weight, however, it comes back. I'm tired of yo yo dieting. I'm a health food nut! But I feel this is a "fat gene" I can't be rid of on my own. There's nothing wrong with a little help to permanent lifestyle change. I have a 4 daughters and one of them (10 year old) is obese. I have to make these changes for her as well. I want to be able to have a good time with them in life. I want to gain control of my menstral cycle again. I want to look great at fourty and ready for fourty more!
pamla68

pamla68

2
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