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About this blog

just about my life with the band

Entries in this blog

 

feeling sexy

This might sound vain so I am sorry if it bugs any one. So i now work in the fitness field a field of young 20's something so older but I have to compete with them every day for my job.   But it hard to feel sexy when thing jiggle. Let me give you an example the under arm skin will never tight up no matter how much under arm work i do. I teach a toning class and I always say this is for your under arms so you don't get the jiggles. After one class a women cam up to me and said you need to practice what you teach your under arms are the most jiggley of all. I said Yes but that is why you do this now so you do not need to lose over 175 lbs and have extra skin i said once the skin is there it not going any wear.   My bra can't fit i trued ton of different styles but my skin folds are tight were a bra cuts and i puff out over it. I feel so unsexy wearing a bar 99% i wear sports bra becuse they seem to be high cut.   It hard to feel sexy when you lose an jiggly i know it like a badge of honor but gosh i want to feel sexy. I don't I feel like i have to hide parts because i am not sexy things i wish i did not have to.   I been thinking about this for a long time it always been because i work in this field that why i want plastic surgery and then I said that not the right reason.   So i find my self saying if i did not work in the fitness field would i feel sexy. The answer is no. I would not I feel sick that i can't find a Bra in any store. I feel sick when i want to put on something sexy for me and my lower abs sticks out and jingles. I feel unsexy when my arms jiggle around when i raise them up. Heck I worked this hard I have the right to feel sexy if i want to.   In america we call sexy sluty but i not talking about being sexy for anyone beside me. So i thought alot about it I think it time to call in the experts and fix it up . Frist thing get boobies that fit a bra that come out in the arm are with extra skin I dream of round preky bobbies that stand up mine look defined and saggy.   In life when you work this hard you have the right to feel sexy. If doing your hair makes you feel sexy then do it If getting plastic suregry is it then go for it as long as you do it for you and not for other I do not think it should be a problem
Lauracat

Lauracat

1
 

One 5 K done 2 left two do

I taken up Obstetrical mud raceing. I Have now Done "Deity Girl " Boston found it pretty easy as my frist test goes of obstetrical training wearing a Bright Green Zumba outfit and Tutu a buch of us set out to get muddy and have fun. we also did about an hour of Zumba before we ran just to pump up the crowd.   The next Race I will do is a bit Harder it called Spartan it is also a five k it set up alot like tough mudder but with out the shocks and ice I think that going to be the hardest part for me   Then I go to Zumba convention for an amazing time and lots and lots of danceing . September 21 is the last one tn CT it called the Warrior Dash. Then October 10 is the big Day the day I do it for good. So far I made alot of progress.
Lauracat

Lauracat

1
 

Tough Mudder

I see life as a Changes a bunch of wall you must climb over to get to your goal. I had the goal to lose weight and when i Failed and Failed again I turned to my band and I love it. I had a dream of Being a Zumba Instructor I took the course and now have class that are packed. I am opening my Own studio in September . I wanted to be a personal Trainer I have a list of people who want to work with me.   So when I was told about Tough Mudder I knew I have to train for it. This is a 10-12 mile run with an obstical course build in. I am in the process of training for this. Training includes 5 mile runs 3 times a week 8 mile runs 3 times a week once a week i only have to run 2-3 miles. Boot Camp 3 times a week.   A madders boot camp is   5 min warm up   2 min of cardo   1 opticcal   2 min Cardo again   1. Obstical   one min rest   times 5   2 personal training session a week with 1 being high intencedy cardio the other work out the other streath training .   I will be doing this in October
Lauracat

Lauracat

4
 

I still a have a life

I do alot of work with weight loss surgery pepole. I teach a zumba class just for pre and post opt. But one of the things that make me the saddest to hear is that they stopped liveing. They will not go somewhere with food is invoked. This just make me so sad. So how do i handle this. I like to point out some different ways.   1, What is the point of the get together   So when i want to hang out with freinds i used to say hay lets go for ice cream or hay lets go for lunch. Now i might say want to join me for a walk. Or it a nice day lets go for a swim .   Sometime we forget what the point of the event is and we get so caught up in what were going to eat that we forget what the point is. So back yard barbeque. what is the point to have fun with friends. That the frist thing i do is make sure i know the point before i even start out . I alway offfer to bring something. Most of the time it something tha i know i can have and will be good for me. Also drink right before you go. this give you 30 mins to play with. In this 30 min you walk around and make your game plan. If there is one thing that i relly relly must have that i know i will be okay with . I will pick that thing and have a small amount. Also the size of your plate. I always try and take small plates .   Just because you have your band dose not mean you need to stop living. I call April 23 2012 the day i started living. But if i look back on it I did not start living untill i relly let go of all the food fears and started making it my life style and not just some crazy deit plan. We all know deit do not work. Deit all about not letting your self have something this needs to be a life style
Lauracat

Lauracat

3
 

head hunger vers real hunger

I am in the green now. I know it because i telly do not get gummy hungery. I do get physical hunger when i do not feell well and my body is telling me look you used your fuel now you need to fuel me so we can keep going. This happens alot in the gym i try and make sure i have something every 3 hours if it even just a protine shake with water. I always keep 2 or 3 packs of necter protein in my puurs then all i need is my blender cup i always keep one in my puruse and water and i am good to go.   but just because i do not get growl hunger dose not mean i do not have head hunger. So how do i deal with it and how do i tell the diference. Well am i hungery enough to eat a plate of steamed veggies. For me thats not something to i would never eat but it not something that would be a first choice . If the answer is yes then it okay for me to eat again If now I then go though my cheek list   Laura mental cheek list for head hunger   1. cheek make sure it head hunger   2. Once we made sure it head huger ask why do i want to eat what is the trigger.   - am i sad -- how can i make my self happy with out food   - am i bord - what can i do to make my self less bord   `` am i upset - how else can i blow off steam that dose not enovlove   3. It a relly bad bad craving i must have it   I use the tick on a scale of 1 to 10 were is it. If it under a seven i go back to my cheek list and try to find the trigger and the non food answer. Some time i have to do this 3 or 4 times till i get my aswer this is enough time to drink water so i have 30 min to figger it out     The craving is over 7 well then I say okay You know what it okay it not an every day Evey moment thing. what do i rely want. I take my faviort sin cup cake. Do i relly want a whole cup cake or do i just want part ie frosting or cake. Can i get the same thing for smaller amounts If i eat a minnie cupcake vris a large cupcake. I want a sunday okay that fine how can i get my Sunday for less can i use suger free ice cream 1//2 fuirt fat free cool wip 2 table spon of sugar free syrup. I still have my Sunday i still have my tast   I also write down the question and aswer make sure to goo back and look at them when your not craving so you can at the moment help your self know what to do.   It took me a long time to get these tool so i thought i share
Lauracat

Lauracat

1
 

Hard work pepole thats all it was

Don't you just love the douter?? the one who say "it a cheet you would have lost anyways" Gosh pepole to the researcher it not a cheat it hard work.   Okay so i was selected form 1000 to the 25 to the Zumba informal I mean after all no one love Zumba more then me. So here i was being interviewed and she tell me to turn of the carama. And said Do you really think it was zumba and not the band that changed you. You would have loosed just sitting on the couch after all you have a band. I wish it were that easy,   So here my reprocess se " do you research 80 % of all people who have weight loss surgery gain it back. I can eat around my band if i want to my it might recerct me in some ways but in other it gives me a lot of freedom. The band is a tool you get out of it what you put into it. I put every thing i have into it and right when i done i think i have nothing more to give I give it a little more. I did not and will throw in the towel I just use it to wipe up the sweet and keep going. Right when i think I can't give any more to this I always find just a little bit more some were. This is Hard work Hard Hard work .I need to be strong not only physically but mental too. To do what have done changed my life from sitting on a couch to teaching Zumba, Spin, body pump, cross fit The gym i work at I have a waiting list of people who want me to be there trainer so i can do what i did to my self to them. Some day I wish I did not have to work so hard and could sitt on a in an office some were an a coshie chair must be nice huh ? So the answer is it a not a cheat it is detraction demonstration and given it all i got and Just a little more .     So i found my self a good zumba class and let it getaway from me becuse something about the music alway makes me feel better
Lauracat

Lauracat

1
 

Befor and after

If you had asked me Last year i be wearing this size i say no If you asked me if I own a two pice last year this time I say no. If you asked me if i had my navle pice i say no. Well     here it is   Yes i am a size 4/6   Yes; I do own a two piece   Yes I did puce my navel because i could
Lauracat

Lauracat

5
 

self image

even though i lost all the wait i still struggle with self image issues. In my mind i see my self as as Big even though my paints size is a 4/6 in my mind i wear an 18. I hold up cloths in the store and look at them and say no way and go back to the pluse sizes it a long i mean hour and hours long process for me to get cloths. The weather is warming up hear in Ma and i have no shorts So i had to get some i just could not belve i was this size i could even shop in the juiors and did get a juniors dress but it just so hard. I think alot of pepole do not understand how it a daily stugle for alot of us I look at my refection and I start hating my self i can tell you everything wrong about me .   I spend 90 % of my time thinking about food and feeling bad and that i need to extersize it off. but most pepole have no idea.That this is a strugle for me they think that the band sloved everything boom it all fixed in the real life no it not fixed. they have no idea how hard i work how meny hours i spend working at this.
Lauracat

Lauracat

2
 

one year ago today

One year ago right about now i was taken back to the or. That thing i renumber before going to sleep to get my band was the nurse saying what they were going to do and it being so cold in the OR. I woke up and the frist thought was OMG what did i just do to my self. Please make this woth it.   One year latter I can answer that question with a big YES it was worth it. I lost all of my excess weight. I do things i only dreamed of doing last year at this time. So for me yes it was worth it. The band is only a tool and it only as good as you work it but sometimes it my control. I could not be happier with my new life.     Thanks to all those who supported me in this last year. Thanks to Dr Jones for giving me a my band ( zoey) . I can not wait to see what the next year brings . Happy bandvery zoey !!!! we been though a lot in the last year
Lauracat

Lauracat

2
 

Wow what a year

It been almost a year since my band as of tomrow it will be 23 more days till my one year. Gosh my life has changed. I am now a size 4 /6 I am now 129.8 lbs> I am also now a full time Zumba / Group exercise instructor/ personal trainer. Yes life has change but it not about how I changed it about the lesson I learned alog the way. The Lesson I want to share with you today. The lesson I had to apply to life to my life to make me a success.   First lesson become uncountable.It the things we hate the most the things that are the hardest for us, that do us the most good. A great example is the frist time I tried Zumba I hated it I was so bad I had two left feet. My frist thought was I never going back I hate this but i went back now i am Zumba Educational Specialist I am dance ever day and I share my love with orthers all the time But this lesson needs to keep being taught. The other day my trainer asked me if i did my 20 mins on the stair climber I said i hate it I call it the Michen of evil and she said to me Laura Thas just why you must do it. t The things that you hate the most do you the most good. I knew she was right.   The Next lesson Is the frist person who needs to believe they can Has to be you. If you want to change you need to say Yes I can. The words no I can't has to be gone we spent years say NO I can't exercise eat right making all excesses . If you do not belive you can that you wont you stay just stuck were you are. Relive you can be the change.This take streath. More then physical streath this was one of the hardest thing i ever did To believe in me. I am worth being believed in. and because I belive in me others do too and I have created a network of people who believe in me because I do   The last lesson I will share is Be the butterfly. Butterfly change into something beutey but each on is unquine diffent. Each one has to learn to spered there wings fly. And be free. One you embracess change and become fee ro it you wiil become beatful something everyone will love
Lauracat

Lauracat

3
 

Working Out

i get asked all the time about working out so i thought that i tell you my story with it. i am uncoordinated and can not balance ( i am much better now) even as a child i hated gym class. I was always the last picked but i loved to dance i would go to dance class all the time. Well till 13 when my dance teacher told me "i need to learn my place in life and it no were near the dance floor" that ended my love with dance.. I went to feeling like i could not. I joined a gym because my husband worked there Then i picked up body pump something about the music I worked out with Dave a trainer for 2 years however i never lost weight and never rely loved it. I bought the Zumba videos I was not a fan at frist. I thought i never were those silly paints. But the more time i did them the more i kind of liked it.   I started taking body pump on Sunday and the teacher was also a zumba teacher she invited me to stay. I SUCKED. I would not have come back if penny did not tell me it would get better i get better. The next week it did get a little better and it keeped getting better till i loved it. Then i was hocked and those silly paints with the but strings i own 7 pairs   So why do i love Zumba well it dose not matter if your fat thin green black old young one leg in a wheel chair you can do it. They have a zumba for everyone. I love to dance and I just get lost in the music. I get asked all the time for my best advice. So here it is     My Mottos: If you think you can't you can if you can you will if you will you must if you must you do!!   I wear a neck less it was a gift from my zumba mentor. it has 3 charms 1. dance like no one watching - to me this means let go feel the music if you not doing a step right and trust me i even mess them up it dose not matter were all going to have fun. 2. a tiger eye for strength if you no this lap band journey you need this to have go though surgery fill change you eating habits it more than just pure muscle strength it about being strong enough to change your life. The 3rd is a butterfly it the transmutation a butterfly starts out a a caterpillar and then go though a change into a butterfat is in all of us.   Dance, walk move just be free to do what you like, Be Strong and in the end Become the butterfly that lies with in each one of us
Lauracat

Lauracat

2
 

Roberta And Me

I work out with a trainer every week I love love love her. She is so supportive of me and everything i do. She become like my mother she looks more like she could be my sister. She the most amazing person i ever met. She pushes me when i need to be pushed gives me a hug when i need a hug. She helps me with the up and down and always make sure i can do things and feel like i can. She told me quitting is not an option. she makes me smile and Laugh and always want to try harder. She even was the one who told me i had to be a zumba instructor to inspire others. She given me more than just training. she made me a deal when I could fit into Lulu mon clothing she wanted to bye me my first pair . Last week end we went out and did just that. The black outfit is one she picked out. She an amazing trainer person and now i am glad to call her an amazing friend. It so much fun to work out when you love who your working out with
Lauracat

Lauracat

1
 

Mile Stones

I had an appointment for a fill yesterday I am 163.7 Not bad i am about 13.7 away from my goal of 150. He commuted on my great ab mussel he said he could feel them the problem was that they were covered up with alot of skin and said it time to talk about plastic. He said normal he waits one full year but in my case since i am so active he did not think he had too. My main probelm is my upper arms the skin rubs every time i move my arms and is very ichy and i have a nice little rash. It gets worst when i sweet so i would relly like to have my arms done.   I am going to Fl for 3 weeks in Jan and I just relized i have no summer cloths my shorts were a 14/16 along with my swim suits and now i am a 8/10/12. I guess i have to go shopping down there and pick up a few pair of shorts.   I have now lost 75% of my exess weight he said the last 25% will be the hardest he said that alot of it is Skin and till that remove it might be hard. I landed up with a fill. I also saw the great fellow who took care of me in July when i got too tight because of kindeny infection and then prolapsed my band. She said I gave her a very interesting first week . She also commited on my port sticking out now so it not hard to find when she last got it she had to go under floro to find my ports she said nope now you so skinny i don't have to even look for it.   I also found my hip bone. This is huge I was laying on my side and i felt the bone I had no idea what it was but then relized it was bone.   I look at how my life has changed I could not walk up my own stairs in April and now I teach Zumba and I work out all the time. I have a new creeer as a personal trainer / group exercise teacher and I would never been able to do any of this with out my band. I love my band and I am very thankful for this chance to live my life.
Lauracat

Lauracat

1
 

Rip Mr Twinkie

Lets fae it I knew it would happen when i gave up mr twinkie but yet it still sad. Mr twinkie has been a part of my life for so long. When i was in grade school i would trade my lunch for it. When i was sad Mr twinkie always used to cheer me up. If you deep freird mr twinkie and coverd it in glaze it was so good. In 3rd grade i decoved mr twinkie would great with a parchoot for egg drop off the 3 floor building and then a yummy snack after.   After My band I broke up with Mr twinkie and have not looked back . But it still sad that Mr twinkie has to go. I knew it would happen sooner or latter when i stoped eating them.   Also My great aunt and i would spend hours eating ho ho and cup cakes. She was one those who "could never gain weight" but it was okay becuse i could gain enough for the both of us. So Mr twinkie I am sorry you going but it for the best becuse mr twinkie now i relly no longer need you.   I know you will be missed by meny but Mr twinkie it time for you to go
Lauracat

Lauracat

2
 

Feeling Bones

This may sound silly but i just reized something.   A few weeks ago i was doing an abbs class but not only were my abbs hurting but also my butt. I relized that i was no longer sitting on fat but there was a bone there thats what i am feeling. I know it a small thing but to me this was huge it been coved in fat for so long i did not know there was bones there.   Then a few days ago i was doing yoga the other day we we doing this thing were you bed your back back and i relized that i had ribs and i could feel them they were not coved in fat they were sticking out. I then spent a good 10 min feeling my new decoved ribs.   it funny how small things along this joury make you so excited
Lauracat

Lauracat

1
 

Red Veletet Cake Yes I Can Have It !!!

as alot of you probley know i have a cake issue. The issue is i love it. I never met a cupcake or cake that i have not liked i love frosting i been know to eat 6 cupcakes in one sitting. Okay not since band. But there it was in a dreem red veltet cake how do i take it and modfiet it for me. Make it low carb low fat low suger.   so this is what i came up with   Serves 4   For the crepes:   6 oz fat free cream cheese, softened 5 eggs 1/4 cup SF chocolate flavored syrup 2 Tbl SF cocoa powder 1/2 tsp red food coloring 1 tsp stevia or splenda   Combine ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth. Line 2 medium or 1 large cookie sheet with parchment paper (I used reynolds parchment on one side, foil on the other, parchment side up) and spray with nonstick spray. Pour the batter onto the paper and tilt the sheet until smooth and uniform, should be about 1/8 inch thick. Bake in preheated 350 degree (F) oven for 8 minutes or until firm. Remove from the oven, cool and cut into squares or circles for your "crepes."     For the cream:   4 oz cream cheese, softened 2 Tbl vanilla (or white chocolate) flavored SF syrup 1 cup heavy cream   Combine the cream cheese and syrup, blending/whipping until smooth. Whip the cream until peaks form. Fold 1/3 of the whipped cream into the cream cheese mixture. When fully combined, gently fold the cream cheese mixture to the rest of the whipped cream. Chill for 15 minutes.   To assemble:   Place one crepe on a serving plate and spread a thin layer of cream onto it. Gently press another crepe onto the cream, try to get it as flat as possible and make sure the cream is to the edge. Repeat for as many layers as you want. You may have to chill for a few minutes during the process to keep the layers from sliding around. When finished layering "frost" the top and sides with cream. Decorate with piped cream if desired. Don't overdo the cream like I did or it's just too rich. Chill for at least 4 hours, preferably overnight before serving.
Lauracat

Lauracat

1
 

My Dr Goal

When i walked into BIDMC i was told that i would probley land at 190. At 249 lbs that seemed like a dreem. Well i am happy to report that i have hit that goal. I emailed Kate my nurstionist the picuter of the scale this morning ( note to self get cute pedicure you earned it) But it more than the scale it about life being active doing things i only dreemed of in april.     I have a masterbed room on the 3rd floor of my house. we have the most amazing view we over look a pond and it is stunning form the 3 floor master bedroom. I was never able to uses it Now not only do i use it but i run those stairs and sometimes during comershials just for fun.   I was not able to do zumba i never made it past 10 mins with out losing my breath. Today I teach zumba and it has change my life. I love it not a day goes by where my love to dance dose not come back and i think about how lucky i am     In april i had a dog walker because i could not walk my dog the full walk she wanted. Now i walk her my self at least 2 miles every day. Yes my favorite coffee shop is on the way to the dog park and i do get my coffee with skim milk and spends that i enjoy at the dog park. I love to walk. and i love walking in pretty places     In april my kids used to always say mama will you play with us and i would get out of breath very easy. Land up stooping now my kids and i play every day. They have a game were i am dragon and i chance them and they have safe places on the playequemnit in are back yard. Evey day I hear form my kids how much they love the new me.   In April i had size 24 jeans a few 22 that were way tight today i were a 14/12 I can shop any were i want i have a list of new stores i only deemed of walking into and now i have things form them i love my new cute outfits everything is so great.to have cloths in normal size when ever i feel sad i look at all my cute stuff and feel happy again. I love white house black market banana republic, the loft anne Taylor and more. Such a change from Lane Bryant ,   In April i only dreamed of horse back riding now i take lesson every week with my four year old and we all love it I could have never done that before I was past the weight limit.   I fell very lucky. I was given a great gift and i have a great team. I love the new me. Thank you all my friends and family and most of all the team at BIDMC and Dr Jones your the best i could never done it with out you
Lauracat

Lauracat

3
 

Dear Stop And Shop

dear stop and shop,   i would like to thank you for putting invidilal sized suvering oh red velvet cake in the main illil of the store and putting red velevet wooopie next to it. This used to be an issue for me as i would eat them and maybe by a seond or 3 for my ride home . But now i love my self more than i love red veltet. This took alot of work for me to be able to say it. So thank you for giving me this opertutiey to be able to say that. I also like to tell you that the water bottle is mighter then the cake. As I always make sure that i bring that with me and i know cake and water do not mix   sinceerly   Laura
Lauracat

Lauracat

2
 

Zumba Party

Yes It here finaly the date all my freinds and family and support pepole are comming both of the trainers i worked with and all my freinds from the gym. I got my cute outfit in hot pink ready to dance in and my new zumba shoes given to me as a gift from penny who is hosting my party. All my freinds have told me that i going to love all my new cloths they got me. I can't wait It finaly a day to cellbrate me that i am front and center and all i done since lap band. It my day.   So meny times in life we put other frist. I always do but now it time for me to cellbrate being a onester. I getting ready to shake I have my music picked out the dance ready to go It all about me and me being the star and doing somthing i used to not do but now love.     One of the gifts given to me was a rainbow collored barclet. This was the card were this and rember to uses all these things in one day you have a succful day   Black - Activty   Red- Love ( tell my family i love them)   Yellow - Happness (doing things that make me happy)\   Green- Apprate nautre - ( i do this when i walk my dog or just by having flower in my house)   blue- Iner Peace ( not to beat my self up over everything)   Puple - self decovery Learning something new   Black - Nurtrion
Lauracat

Lauracat

1
 

The Number On The Scale

The other day I sent Kate my nurtioist a whiney email about gaining 2 lbs I then followed up that email with a vist to her and she said you look great then sent me this.       The number on the scale will not tell you   * what a great person you are   * how much your freinds and faimily love you   * That you are Kind, smart, Funny & Amazing in ways numbers cannot define   * that you have the power to choose happness   * Your own self worth     So just relex take a breath it just a number your doing great
Lauracat

Lauracat

3
 

Scard For Nothing

Well I did it I saw my brother the frist time in a year. Not sure i want to be freinds with him or even like him as a person but I did eat dinner with him. Frist thing is he did not say anything on how i looked. Part of the reson i wanted a band is i was tired of pepole making the fat jokes. Well no fat jokes tonight. He gained the 50lb i lost. He looked awful he had a ripped teashirt on and ripped jeans and looked like he not showed in a week. He smelled funny too. He ate all his dinner then he looked at my left overs about 1/2 of the small plate and said are you going to eat that. I said no i am very full with what i ate. He then ate my plate pluse he got desert and Becuse then my husband order a desert for both of us that i ate one bit and he ate about half then my brother fisehed that and my moms.   My mom was telling him about my zumba stuff and all i do now. I in the end said Roger I had weight loss sugery I was not going to tell you but my Dr. Dr jones is amazing with what he can do I think you need his number.   He said yea we see who gets the last laugh lets see you keep this up
Lauracat

Lauracat

1
 

I Did It

My uncle Mal died on Tueday. I was never close with him but i needed to go to his funrnal for my father. After in the Jewish religon we do something call stitting shiva pepole sit and rember the love one snd food is seved and others bring tons and tons and tons of food. This could be a bandest nightmer. the furit basket have stared to come somehow they become less fruit and more choclet and cookies all the stuff i would have gone right for. Then to make the whole thing better my faimly was there. I not great freinds whith very meny of them my 1st coisens are 15 to 20 years older then me and still look at me as the chubby kid in the family who eat becuse she sad, upset. lonely I am the only one who is bigger in the family.i looked around to see what i could eat there it was protine lots of it chicken salda and little tiny roll ups that when you un rolled with out the bred was the perfect size for me and i knew if i sat long enough i could chew it and i had tryed cold cuts at my house and had no problem. My cosin who have no idea what i did said to me why are you on a starvation deit don't you want the cookies cakes ect. I keeped a bottle of watter in my hands during all the cookies and cakes knowing i can not eat and drink at the same time. Finley my mom bulrted out Laura on a helthy kick she had Weight Loss Sugery she even truned down food from me lately. Then led to a bunch of question how long do i plan to do this ect ect. After my fear that i might lose my band on monday night i was not messing it up I need the band I also need those size 16 paints i have now and all those cookies and cakes will only lead to me being bigger and i don't want that. One family member was so taken with me she said she wanted it but did not want to give up things. I told her if your not willing to change your life and your relationship with food and work on this evey day then this would not be the right choice for you. This is only a tool and it will only work if you work the program right not if your going to screw with it
Lauracat

Lauracat

2
 

Goal Setting

One of the things i am working on is setting goals that make sence for me. Thinking about things diffently   So i put down my goals and I was told to think of it like this what can i do today what can i do in two week what can i do in a mouth   So for example I want to be a size 10 yes 10 I am a 14.   1. write down everythin i eat and drink   2. try and adovid head hunger cravings   3. reach for support make sure i go to all my OA meeting and Weight watchers no matter what.     Goal 2 was to become a zumba instruter   1. Get cerferfied - I did this today   2. Work on getting my club to let me sub   3. Woek on my zumba danceing rutines so i can do them no matter what     Goal 3 Get skinny jeans   1. Look for skinny jeans in size 14 with out makeing my self feel bad about how i look   2. watch what i eat better by writing it all down   3. make sure i go to the gym to all my work out with out skipping     Goal 4 work on Abs   1. Go to abs class   2. Get new trainer who will help me with goal   3. Not stopping just becuse i am being lazy and feeling my abs       Goal 5 sround my self with pepole who are supportive   1. Goal one get rid of old trainer who will not change and was never supportive of me undergoing WLS to one who will work with me and understand how my body is changing and will be supportive of this and not say i should have tryed anything else. - ( I think i done this as I have found someone I love and told the old one it time to leave just have to get paper work done to switch over)     2. Make sure that pepole who know are not jellous of my succcess and relizese how hard i worked to get were i am and How hard i must work to stay were i am   3, Weed out pepole who call me a cheet or other names ( be more fussy who i tell)     So thats my goal setting for today
Lauracat

Lauracat

1
 

Fat Slob

my mother desied i should not go shopping and told me she saved things from when i was a 12 i not a 12 yet. When i was a 12 i was 120 lbs i had 6 mouths of conrinc vommiting i thow up about 3 times a day due to a conic apdexicess it like have your apedeix inflamed for six mouth i could not eat i barly drank yes i was a 12 and i did gain it all back pluse. So she made me tryed them on and then she said well you did this to your self your just a fat slob. I wanted to eat so bad as that what i knonw but i am writing it down so i rember what she did . I hate pepole who want to hurt you and not help you i think it time to get rid of her and her negive ways she had no right to bring that stuff over and say hateful things. I am sorry if this sounds like a whine and complain but i just need to get this off my chest before i handle this the wrong way with my good old freind red velet cupcake and ice cream and chips
Lauracat

Lauracat

6
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