I told myself that I would never post on a blog, I don't know why. Probably because of the reality factor of actually writing my thoughts and feelings for people to see frighten me. Well here goes the official entry.
My story: I was a gymnast from the age of five to the age eighteen. I was never the petite type gymnast that you see on tv, I was thicker, and quite muscular. When I quit competing at eighteen I was active for about a year later, I contemplated bodybuilding but that would mean having a body I really didn't want. Soon came my parents divorce, which I was just downright pissed over, not upset, pissed. Along came my knight in shining armor. We were friends in high school and we were instantly inseperable, and very comfortable with eachother. So it was very easy for us to go out to eat. He was a football player and I had a pretty good appetite. Well without being in the gym and working it off they pounds began to creep on. I always thought the reason why was hormonal not what I was eating. Well we got married in 1998, we started having children right away by Sept 1999 we had our first child, I was able to get down to prebaby weight until I was pregnant again, had our second child in 2001, a little bit harder to get to prebaby weight. I joine Weight Watchers a couple of times, tried Atkins, started exercising, got pregnant with our third child, he was born in 2003. Soon after he was born, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's and Hypothyroid Disease. Finally, I thought this is my answer. I will take these little pills and they will help me. DENIAL, I know. Weight Watchers on-line this time. Fourth and final child born early in 2006, and to this date know where close to getting back to the pre-babies weight. That's the long boring background of it all (except for the babies they are far from boring).
So here I am 10 days away from surgery. I am so fearful, doubtful, and excited. I had my pre-admission testing done 3 days ago and I've had a knot in my stomach eversince. My doctor only has me on a two day pre-op diet. I start it on Saturday, February 23 with full liquids and on Sunday, February 24 clear liquids,with surgery on Monday February 25th.
So here it is, my very long first entry ( I now promise myself that from now on they won't be this long) Here's to a little over a week of nervous behavior!
Well, as I sit here sipping my first liquid of my many liquids for the next month, I feel as though this will be the toughest part of this journey. I mean if I can get through absolutely no food for a month, I can get through anything. Last night was Jason's 7th birthday and we had pizza, salad, and goodies. At my "Last Meal" it was what I would have wanted, but what did I actually have 2 pieces of pizza, a little salad, and a piece of cake. Minimal compared to how much pizza I would usually go through. Yes, I did give in to my last carbonated beverages, but thats ok too, I didn't go overboard. I had cake, but no ice cream. Right now I feel its time to let go of my dying friend. I am at compete peace with my decision to go through with surgery. I am on warning mode to my husband and children. I don't know what type of person I am going to be during this liquid stage. I may be fine, but I also might be an emotional wreck. I am prepared as I can be for now.
