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Considering Surgery

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Day 2

I woke up this morning and am much more positive and happier with the decision to have the surgery. My breaking point was last night; my husband was so angry with me and so hurt; i don't think i've ever seen him so hurt and concerned. He was giving me some tuff love and the words just broke my heart and crumbled me; he has never spoken to me this way; he didn't yell but i could see in his eyes, the helplessness and disappointment. I woke up this morning and I've decided that I no longer have the choice to be overweight. I will not live a long healty life; its not fair to my children or to my husband; especially not me; i've let myself go way beyond all control. this is not who I am; I never was overweight growing up and I'll be damned if I'll turn 40 and still have to carry this weight. I left messages this morning with the lap center so hopefully they will call me back tomorrow so that I may book my consultation. I'm jumping in, all fours, no parachute and I'm not looking back. No more regrets. No more excuses. 01/2/07
onedayskinny

onedayskinny

1
 

Considering Surgery

After much thought and deliberation; i am now seriously considering the lap band. I was skinny throughout childhood and as a young adult, i think i started putting weight on in my early twenties. I never really thought much about it. I have an amazing husband who sees beyond the lbs and sees me for who i really am. I think I've always been in denial. I think i still look in the mirror and see the person who is only 120 lbs and not 270 lbs; really, i know, i'm in denial............ I am not scared to do the surgery, however i'm scared of the new life that comes with it; the WILLPOWER to change things, cause face it, obviously that is why i am where i am; i haven't been able to stick to a diet EVER! I also realize that I need to do this; i have sleep apnea and i'm sure as the years go on, i will only become heavier. I know my husband wants the OLD me back and i've been unfair to him; this is not the girl he married and he doesn't deserve me the way i am...i know he would love me no matter what, but i'm sure this is not what he bargained for. I don't know how i'm going to cope and actually go ahead with this but I know i have no choice and i guess the sooner i come to grips with the harsh reality of being overweight, then the sooner i can get my life back on track and get healthy. Jan 1/07
onedayskinny

onedayskinny

1
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