Ok... enough of being a sad sack.
I got through 1 week of almost carbless living and I didn't die.
I used my food journal everyday, which for me is the hardest part.
My RD gave me an 8.5x11 piece of paper to track my food and feelings. 1 sheet for each day. No way!
Than I moved to a homemade excel masterpiece, double sided, 4 days per sheet. Nope!
Now, Ive got a 3x4 Snoopy notebook. re-written it all. not charting feelings, cuz I'm not eating with my feelings. I only eat what I bring and that not very much (to work that is).
Now, some of you might say "Ellie, why not use your phone?". To you, I say...I don't have a Smartphone... I have a Dumbphone.
"We don't do hand-holding" said the voice on the other side of the phone.
Tough-love is not my thing.
I have been tough-loved and tough-loved myself into this mess...
...or at least tough-love is what they called it.
Why can't it just be love?
What's wrong with hand holding? If someone held my hand maybe I could learn that hands aren't just for eating with.
I know I should have faith in myself, inner strength and all that jazz... but why should I always do everything by myself. Why can't I reach out and ask for support and encouragement.
I know I can do this. I can physically stop eating. I can get myself to the doctor. to the hospital. onto the OR table......
... but what's so wrong with asking someone to hold my hand?