I was driving home the other day from an event (I own a photobooth company) and was listening to my Grease Soundtrack and Olivia sang it out ........."Sandy, you must start a new, don't you know what you must do". "Hold your head high, take a deep breath insiiiiiiiide"....."Goodbye to Sandraaaaa Deeee". I thought how fitting and think that will be my new montage. Although I've lost 59lbs, I'm still not to ONEDERLAND, I'm still living in TWOterville (and my hubby can attest to that in more ways than one!)
When I got home and started uploading my pictures from the event, I flashed by this picture and realized it was me! I fully understand most people who see this picture would say I have a lot more to lose. Indeed I do, however sometimes I actually forget that I've lost almost SIXTY freakin pounds! That's a lot of double chins that are gone, let me tell ya. As with so many diets I've put myself through, I've always taken monthly pictures. I chose not to do that this time. My plastic surgeon yelled at me and said I should keep progress. Progress to me is looking six months from the time I had surgery and flashing by a picture and seeing, "wow, I'm really doing this!" I know I have a long road, but I can say with confidence, I look good!
So do any of you miss just being able to go out to a restaurant and pig out? I've had this "sadness" just a few times since my surgery. I do really great during the week because I'm so anal about planning things out and being prepared. However, on the weekends, my husband and I like to go out to different restaurants. As a bandster, I still can eat out, I just choose much healthier options and when my entree arrives, I have the waitress bring out a box with the meal so I can portion out my food I will eat and the rest I save for leftovers.
My husband is not the most romantic, but he suprised me with a date Friday and took me to the Hawthorne Inn in this little out of the way town called Labadie. Apparently the whole town of Labadie decided to go too, because we waited for 45 minutes. I chose the salmon with baked potato and it came with a salad. So the salad came and although I enjoyed a few bites, I stopped because I want to save room for the $21.95 salmon. I LOVE salad. I know its not a protein though and I have to get that in. Which brings me to the point of why I got the band to begin with- SO THAT I WOULDN'T EAT LIKE A PIG. But, every once in a while I get mixed emotions about my band. I thank God everyday for my band, because I was really becoming unhealthy. On the other hand, I sometimes have a pitty party for about 2.5 seconds and just wish I could finish my WHOLE salad, my WHOLE potato and MY WHOLE salmon.
Funny how my band, Prudence brings me back to sanity though. Once I'm "full" then I think, Maggie you're a weirdo. What a strange thing to miss. You feel great, you are full off of a fraction of what you used to eat and you've lost 32lbs! Like I said, I don't get bummed out a lot, and realize that I had a very unhealthy affair with food. Glad my relationship with food is changing, but it is an ongoing struggle everyday to change.
I almost feel stupid blogging about this, but had a revolation this morning! So when you are a fat chick, you can't just go to Victoria Secret for the latest and cutest bra selection. Me personally, I have found Lindathebralady.com to be the most comfortable, but they're not cheap. So as I've lost 41lbs the girls have been less than perky. I've been dreading paying another $54 for another bra. I know that's a good problem to have needing to buy new, skinnier clothes and bras, but 54 bucks is 54 bucks!
Here's where the "I feel stupid" moment plays in. So I'm getting dressing this morning and like a profound moment of my entire life I realize, "duh, you don't have to use the last fasteners on the bra you big dork!" Being fat pretty much my whole adult life, I've ALWAYS had to use the last fasteners. I'm proud to say I'm on the first one! Not only is that exciting, but cheaper too! It's funny seeing things in a skinnier light!
Woohoo!
So, I'm almost two months out, down 34 pounds. Yeah! Woohoo. Well rewind, really it's only 32lbs because I was down to 282 the other day and I thought, sweeeeet that's almost down to the "seventies"! So what did I do? Well how else does a fat chick celebrate an accomplishment? Eat, right? I tell you what, this has been a challenging journey thus far and holy cannoli I'm only in two months! I don't know how I was physically able to eat a FOOTLONG Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki. I have got to get over this hump in my brain to actually listen to my stomach when I'm full. It's as if I feel sorry for the food left on the plate (I know because bread and sweet onion chicken have feelings, right!). Tonight I found myself getting my husband DQ (at his request) and although I didn't choose my normal large, opting for the mini midnight truffle, I was STILL GETTING DQ!
On a positive note, I've picked back up on my exercise and have even gotten my step kids into the Just Dance 3! I know there are going to be ups and downs, and ups and downs both numerically on the scale, as well as emotionally in my head. Just thought I would vent my feelings here tonight, because I just needed to. Kind of like going to confessional, it just feels good.
Thanks for listening
Super excited today because Prudence was getting her second fill. Glad I called yesterday to verify the dietary restrictions on my fill date otherwise, I would have eaten! Great nurse I am, huh? For breakfast I had a protein shake with 1/2 water, 1/2 orange juice. Then on the way to work I got in about 16oz. water At 0800 I thought I would get in another protein shake, as my appointment was not until 3:30pm and as of 0900 I had to be NPO. So I got pulled in the O.R. today to work which thankfully took up a big portion of my day not focusing on the fact that I couldn't drink anything until THREE THIRTY!!!! Ok, well I got through the day, ran some errands and then headed off to my doctor's office. I get to my appointment five minutes early and say to the person at the desk, "Hi, I'm Maggie and I have an appointment at 3:30pm with the Nurse Practitioner for a fill." She looks at me puzzled and says, "You DO?". Shuffeling through some papers she then says matter of factly, oooh, she had to leave. Which leads me to my video. Let me tell you, Chris Farley was FULLY reserected in that doctors office. WHAT you mean to tell me I've been NPO since 0900 and have a splitting headache and you couldn't have called to tell me that my appointment was cancelled?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YfvBbxE1vU
If you can tell anything from my blog, I'm not too shy about holding my feelings back and telling you how it is. I was pretty darn proud of myself that I didn't come across the counter at the poor lady. Or maybe she could read my face because before I could respond she said, well you could see Dr. LaGrand. To that I chuckled, "I don't care if I see the man in the moon as long as I get a fill". He was a resident that worked along side my surgeon and I've met before. Looooooovvvveeeeddd him! What a great bedside manner and he answered so many more questions than my own surgeon did for me! AND he filled 1cc- woohoo! So as I'm leaving I thanked the office staff for getting me in (even though I'm not sure that shouldn't have been expected anyway) and asked if I could continue to see him for my follow up visits. "Well you could if he was staying. He's leaving when Dr. Scott leaves at the end of the month". Ummmm, Hello?!? What?!? That's right, my surgeon is leaving for another hospital. Don't you think that is something that I should have at least gotten a generic form letter signed by his secretary? Kind of disappointed. Just sayin'!
I had my surgery January 10th. Moving along quite well, down 23lbs (hoping to be down 25lb by my first fill on Wed!). I've only gone out to a restaurant to eat three times since my surgery. Which by all accounts is a new world recordd according to the "Eat Out to get Fat Association of America". My family & I used to eat out at LEAST 4-5 times a week. I mean, really? Looking back on pre-band behavior is quite alarming and keeps me in check. We've sure as hell saved a lot of money!
In all three cases, as we were seated and the friendly waitress would say, "and what can I get you to drink?". As the orders go around the table, I simply say, oh no thanks, I'm not drinking anything......... silence with a stare of disbelief........."Are you SURE"?....Yes, I'm sure, thank you........shrug of shoulders, or looks of "what a crazy lady" are the norm in my world now. That was the one hurdle with getting banded that I thought I would have. I am basically a camel. I would drink at least two pitchers of iced tea with every meal. Now I have to time myself (and I mean I can tell you the SECOND I can drink something).
I've already gotten tired of people thinking that this is the most absurd thing not to order a drink with lunch or dinner, so now I order an iced tea if we go out and drink a few sips as I'm ordering. Typically that is enough time of 15 min. before my food gets there. Then I asked for a to-go cup and take it with me to drink as my half hour alarm goes off! Seems to keep the weird looks at bay!
Well it was bound to happen. My surgery was January 10th and I've done great. And then there was today! I own a photobooth company and had a big wedding show today. Needless to say, my business partner was sick and unable to attend so my stress level was definitely rising. It didn't help matters that I was running way late. So I thought I would make a smart choice and stop at my local QT and get a turkey sandwich. I thought this would be a better choice than the myriad of wedding cake samples that I knew would be lerking at every cake vendors table. Not sure what I was thinking choosing a turkey on WHEAT. Ever since my first fill, wheat is NOT my friend. Well four hours later as I returned home I was starving! I peeked my eyes into a white bag on the counter and what did my wandering eyes did appear? But a great big square rice krispie treat from Fudrucker's restaurant!
Based on the look on my step-son's face, you know the one- raised eyebrow and head tilted cockeyed, I realized I was devouring it like a crack addict getting high after being discharged from rehab! I thought, "what the hell is wrong with me?". Why now? I've sacrificed, I've planned, I've tracked every morsal of food, I've lost 29lbs for the love of Peter, Mary and Joseph!
After thoroughly enjoying, rather inhaling the rice krispie treat I realized, "Ok Maggie. Whats done is done. Get back to the plan and knock that sh*t off!" Ahhh THE PLAN. THAT is precicely what I failed to do this morning. My life is different. My stomach is different. What I can eat is different. If I don't plan, I know I fail. So I'm committing to myself to re-focus on planning.
PS: If it makes anyone feel better who is thinking about eating a nice big sugery treat after they've been "sugar sober" for about a month- I DON'T RECOMMEND IT! I felt like crap after eating it. I don't miss those days of feeling like sludge!
"Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success" ~ Stephen A Brennan
So this past weekend we had a sort-of reunion. My family is VERY large (my dad had eight brothers/sisters) and we're all really close. We also all (most of us anyway) have had weight issues. Thinking back as a child, any gathering we had together, ALWAYS focused and centered around food. This weekend was no different. There was ham, pasta, roast beef, cheese, potato casseroles, deviled eggs, brownies, turtle cakes, you name it! I'm proud to say that I had 1 deviled egg, 2 small meatballs, 1 slice cheese, and I couldn't help myself but I had the corn casserole. I went slow- got my protein in first and had NO, nada, zilch for dessert. I'm committed to this and if that means I'm missing out a little bit, well then so be it. Today I also discovered myfitnesspal.com! I've been seeing everyone with their weightloss tickers and that website rocks! Its so easy for me to pop the info into my computer or my phone. I also have to thank my co-worker for walking with me on lunch today. I wanted to stop at three laps, but she made me do six laps. She said, "theres no traffic in the extra mile". I said, huh? She said if you push yourself, you'll feel better and theres nothing stopping you to go the extra mile. No wonder she is also my business partner- what a smart girl!
Mags
When I first started on this site, I would always read how much people were saying, "I NEEEEED my fill", "Can't wait for my fill", "Hungry! Don't get my fill for a while" and couldn't really understand that "need" because for the first three weeks although I WAS hungry at times it was manageable. I would just like to apologize publicly on this forum for wondering.. .........yesterday (day before my fill) I could have eaten my face off. I was redonkulously hungry between every meal. In fact not one meal yesterday even touched my hunger radar. I was thinking, "ONE MORE DAY" which brings me back to the "a ha moment" as Oprah would say. Today was a 360 moment. I can truly say now that I GET IT! Feels great that Prudence finally got her fill, 2cc infact. Tomorrow is my 1 month bandiversary and I can say that although challenging, its been a great month!
Well I'm totally committed (or my husband would say I need to BE committed!) to exercising. I know that the scale staying at 18lbs lost for a week was because I needed to get up and shake what my momma gave me! I am doing Zumba on Tuesdays/Thursdays, but I was searching for something I could do at home. Low and behold, I bought the Just Dance 3 for the Wii. HIGHLY recommend! Everynight when my hubby goes to bed I get my controller strapped on to my wrist and I go to town. I'm sure if anyone was videotaping me I would go viral instantly because I'm sure that is a funny site to see! It actually lets you keep track of your week and your "sweat points". Not sure really what that means, but I'll take it!
NSV of the week:
Going back to work and having two boxes of Krispy Kreme GLAZED donuts on the table and not even having a desire to eat one!
Well, tomorrow is the big day, back to the grind. I had enough sick time I should have had the doctor say I had to be off for three months? Actually I'm looking forward to going back to work. Its more of a routine. I'm super busy from start to finish at work, so this will be good. PLUS, all my co-workers are so supportive! I already have a work out buddy at work- we plan on getting there 1/2 hour early (0530-yuk!) to walk. Plus I'm suuuuuuper excited because I just bought the WII Just Dance 3, in addition to committing to Zumba Tuesday and Thursdays. I've been "stuck" at 18lbs lost and I have to remind myself to just keep on keeping on with what I'm doing: measuring my 1/2 c meals, getting my 60g protein in, getting >64oz water in. I haven't waivered from my diet and don't plan on it. I've been given this gift (Prudence is her name) and I'm going to use that band gift to finally do it right. So I've got my meal planned and packed for tomorrow.
I'm excited for what this week will bring with me moving more at work and starting to really get in to exercise! Have a great week!
Mags
Wow, I can't believe I'm seven days post-op! For a few days there I didn't think I would ever start feeling better. Started this morning off with 2 lightly scrambled eggs (1/2 c.) giving me 14g of protein off the bat. Then I met my mom & dad at a local mall to walk. It was GREAT. The Mills Mall in St. Louis was all the rage when it opened and now its a glorified walking track. Found it hilarious that my parents were waving at everyone, saying hi to new friends they've made as if they were local celebrities. Of course we had to stop twice for my mom to poop- guess thats where I get my obsession with poop from? Its all coming to me now.....hahaha. Then I thought I would spice it up acting like a crazy excersise lady raising my arms to and fro as if I was holding weights, clapping, saying loudly, "yeah, feel the burn, whoooo!~"
So proud of my parents- although I must be adopted because I certainly didn't get any fat genes from them (they are both relatively normal size), but my dad was recently diagnosed with diabetes. It was definitely a wake up call for everyone in the family. They still party it up drinking at the local "tavern" with their friends, but their diet has COMPLETELY changed. They walk everyday with two of my aunts at the mall. If they can do it, so can I. No excuses.
My find of the day were a set of 8 really cute baby spoons! I know the things that excite me in life, right? My husband commented on the fact that he thought I was eating too fast. Listen here buddy, you try eating liquids for a week and then when you are blessed with a 1/2 c of ANYTHING tell me YOU wouldn't eat it fast. Funny though, contrary to him thinking I DON"T listen, I took his words and purchased baby spoons. Let me tell you- that was a fun shopping experience.....do I go with the Transformer spoon, Cinderella, or the Dora. Choices, choices........then I spotted a package of 8 various colors NO CARTOON spoons and the handle is long! PERFECT.
Enjoying my greek yogurt with my new blue spoon. Life is good.
Tomorrow will be my week bandiversary. Over this past week Ive felt good, Ive felt like crap. Ive cried, Ive laughed (while holding my stomach!) Ive RUN To the bathroom, and Ive come to this site alot. Ive walked to the end of my road and back so much that I think my neighbors think Im stalking them. Several of the recent January Bandsters said "hang in there, come day 6 or 7 you will turn the corner. Boy where they right! I feel amazing today!!!! Still having left sided pain when i breath in too deep but I can live with that.
At my 1ST follow up, my scale matched the doctors, so 16lbs down (11 from surgery date). It was nice to review things with the nurse educator after I saw the Dr. I keep reading over my material to make sure im on track. Today I graduated to mushies! And I have to say 1/2 c. Cottage cheese never tasted so good to chew. Im finding creative ways to get my protein in without drinking a protein drink. My yogurt was 8g protein so i added 12g protein powder giving my plain yogurt some flavor all while getting in 20g protein!
I think another imperative spirit lifter was seeing my co-workers today. Everyone knows i had surgery so Im not in the "fat closet". It was great having everyone tell me how great i look and how my boobs have shrunk! ( guess that was a compliment?) Lol.
Today was a beautiful day! Im looking forward to many many more!
So it's day five out and I' m BACK! To hell with these crying spells and pitty party! Today I've gotten up every two hours to walk, gotten all my protein in, and tried to get my water in. So I had officially decided NOT to get on the scale before my first doctors appointment..........couldnt help myself! Im down 16lbs! Super excited, but honestly Im really excited about eating more than just protein shakes, jello, broth and popsicles. I did find a trick to spicing up my protein shakes with a packet of decaf instant coffee!
So Im not sure if its my type A personality or that Im a nurse thats pissing me off more. Ive never had "major" SURGERY! HOWEVER i had NO idea i would be this tired and no energy. I have vowed not to weigh myself until my Dr. Aapt. Monday. Overall feeling good, just cant wait to be "back to my crazy self!"
Well, it's about 10:16p St. Louis time. After nesting like a pregnant mother getting ready to deliver twins, I have successfully cleaned the kitchen, done ALL the laundry, finished my business tasks I needed to get done, swept, dusted. You name it. Has anyone else experienced that? I'm sure my husband is thinking, "You should get surgery more often and our house would be cleaner!"
Kids are all tucked in, I'm getting ready to hibacleanse scrub and then I think I'm hitting the sak. I was not required to do a pre-surgery diet at all, but felt it would be best. At first I was going to do all hard core, but I really did protein shakes, and high protein meat. No bread (except at Maggiano's once) and I've quit soda cold turkey. I've lost 9lbs pre-op. Today I did egg whites with spinach, 2 pc turkey bacon. Then an Isopure for lunch, and I've had two protein shakes. Not as hard as I thought leading up to surgery.
I'm fortunate enough to be a nurse in the surgery center world, so I already know who my CRNA will be. Kind of weird though now everytime I see her I will think, gee she saw my big NAKED fatty-boubaladdy self! Oh well. I guess there could be worse things right.
Super excited to start feeling better. 0930 can't get here soon enough! I don't even care about skinny clothes or looking, "hot". I want to be able to bend over and tie my shoes without being out of breath. I want to get up in the morning and not have to lug around an extra 200lbs. This fat chic is ready to be healthy!
I've been "Out of the Fat Closet" for quite sometime. Most people that know me tell me that sometimes I should learn to use the filter in my head that God gave me before I speak. I'm working on it among numerous other things. So it's not been a big secret that I'm having this surgery. For me I think that it is a neccessary tool to keep myself accountable. The other night at dinner, my twenty year old son said, "So when you come home from surgery are you going to be as skinny as her", pointing to a stunning beautiful slender blonde waitress. Puzzled, I looked at him and laughed aloud and said "what do you mean?". He said, "well aren't they just going to go in and cut off all your fat and then sow you back up?". Note to self Maggie: Better job needed on educating people what my surgery will be. I've never laughed so hard!!! More at the fact that he EVER thought I would be a size zero!
Have a VERY safe and Happy New Year!
Hi! I'm Maggie. I'm having lap band surgery January 10th. This has been a year long "pre-surgery" journey for me leading up to the surgery with disappointing insurance requirement changes and hoops to jump through, but its all a part of the journey.
"Is that a Fat Joke?" is what I've named my blog. I often make fat jokes/comments about myself, especially at work. Co-workers will always say, oh stop! My response is always, "it's ok, I know I'm fat- it's not a big secret to anyone". Kind of hard to hide 300+ lbs! Through this journey I hope to obviously not only take control of my health, my body, the physical number on the scale, but also to gain control of dealing with why I feed my emotions with food. This surgery is afterall just a tool, certainly not a fix-all, fix-quick solution. Although I like to make people laugh, today I am making the committment to STOP hiding behind "the fat jokes"........So this skinny girl walks into a bar. I'll keep working on my material!
I recently saw a new station talking about a new clinical study out showing the effects of WLS on diabetes Type II. I found this article taken from Seattle PI.com
Weight Loss Surgery for Diabetes Patients – A Problematic Choice
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With obesity rates in the United States and around the world continuously rising, surgery for weight loss is becoming an ever more acceptable option. Now, two clinical studies suggest that diabetics can benefit from operations as well. Type 2 (or adult-onset) diabetes is mostly linked to weight problems and has reached similarly epidemic proportions. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the number of diabetes cases has nearly tripled over the last three decades and affects today more than 20 million Americans.
Both study reports – one from Italy, the other from the United States – concluded that surgical procedures, a.k.a. bariatric surgery, by which the size of the stomach is considerably reduced, enabled patients not only to lose weight but also manage their blood sugar levels more effectively than traditional measures like dieting and medication. Bariatric Surgery Can Carry Great Risks, Including Malnutrition
The findings, which were published in the New England Journal of Medicine, may change how many diabetes cases will be treated in the future. Proponents of bariatric surgery say the studies confirmed that stomach size reduction should no longer be seen as a last resort but should be considered earlier in the treatment of obese patients with type 2 diabetes. Others warned that more studies are needed and that the risks in connection with the procedures available today remain high.
According to the American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery (ASMBS), about 200,000 surgical procedures for weight loss are performed annually in the U.S. The National Institute of Health (NIH) says that surgery should only be recommended for people with a body mass index (B.M.I.) of over 40, or over 35 for those with diabetes and other serious illnesses related to weight problems.
For the studies, the researchers limited themselves to three types of weight loss surgery: Roux-en-Y, biliopancreatic diversion and sleeve gastrectomy. Roux-en-Y is the most commonly applied method of gastric bypass surgery, by which a small part of the stomach is sealed off and then directly connected to the small intestine. Biliopancreatic diversion removes large parts of the stomach and bypasses the majority of the small intestine as well, which limits both food intake and absorption of nutrients. Sleeve gastrectomy reshapes the stomach into a smaller tube but does not alter the way food enters or leaves it.
Needless to say, these are all very drastic steps to prevent weight gain and a host of diseases that often go with it, including diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, high cholesterol and so forth.
As a dietitian, my greatest concern is how the anatomical changes affect the metabolism of patients. Because bariatric surgery limits food intake so dramatically and also diminishes the absorption of nutrients, there is a great risk of malnutrition. Especially a sufficient supply of protein, which is extremely important during rapid weight loss for overall health and to allow for proper healing from the surgery, can become hard to obtain. Part of the reason for this is that the initial digestion of proteins takes place in the stomach, which after surgery is not only reduced in size but also in capacity. Even more problematic is the hindered absorption of essential nutrients in the small intestine because some or much of it is bypassed. This affects the absorption of carbohydrates, proteins and fats but also vitamins and minerals. Potential complications, not only from the surgical procedure itself but also from the nutritional deficiencies, are multiple.
Bariatric surgery should never be considered as a quick fix, on par with cosmetic surgery. It is a profound alteration of the digestive system that is risky and requires permanent changes in diet and lifestyle choices. Intensive post-operational counseling and strict observation of nutritional guidelines are an absolute must.
Timi Gustafson R.D. is a clinical dietitian and author of the book “The Healthy Diner – How to Eat Right and Still Have Fun”®, which is available on her blog, “Food and Health with Timi Gustafson R.D.” (http://www.timigustafson.com), and at amazon.com. You can follow Timi on Twitter and on Facebook.
I was watching TV the other night and this new song came on by Shania Twain. By the end of it I was crying. Hope, Inspiration, belief that this time things will be different. It was a moment, an idea I wanted to share!
