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Getting back to Me

Entries in this blog

 

Surgery In Less Than 3 Days And I Am Down 11 Pounds

In less than 3 days I will be happy to add Portia to my family (that is going to be the name of my lap band/port system). Portia is Latin for gift and she will be a happy gift for yours truly. I have not felt scared or anxious, just excited. I am ready to get rid of all this excessive baggage that I have carried around like a badge of poor choices and regret. I just wish that I had been able to do this 15 years ago honestly. The pre-op liquid diet continues and with just two more days to go, I have lost 11 pounds. I am thrilled. More than that, I am thrilled that I wont be gaining it back. I understand that in the hospital you get loaded up on fluids from the IV and so forth, so I won't be upset if there is a gain because I know one good pee and it will be gone. LOL. I am not even anxious about the pain involved afterward either, because I know it is temporary and will pass with each day. I am happier than I have ever been about anything and I am ready to change my life and move forward. No more looking back and certainly no more wallowing in how bad I look and feel right now. Good things are ahead for me...and for you as well. Good luck to all of you having surgery this week and Congrats to those who have had it done.   Take care, Jen
jennilamb007

jennilamb007

5
 

Suddenly Nervous

Well, after months of feeling confident and brave as can be, today the nerves hit like mad. I am happy and I am looking forward to the changes ahead but I got really nervous about the fact that the day after tomorrow I will be in surgery having a procedure I have dreamed about done. I feel like crying. In fact, it is right there on the cusp of happening. Maybe I am nervous that it won't work for me like it has for others, maybe I am scared to finally be the size I was in my 20's, maybe I am just a typical person who should be a bit nervous and I daresay scared of going into surgery. I am usually calm as can be about these things, but this is a life changer. I will be fine. I am just getting the pre-banding jitters I guess. I need to breathe and clear my head of negativity and know that I will be fine. My boss came by the office to tell me that if it was okay with me that he and a few others would like to pray with me for a great outcome and success. I was touched by the gesture. He told me that he felt that this surgery was going to be a major blessing that should be embraced and he never talks much. I think maybe that was just something I really needed to hear. I hope that it helps anyone who reads it here too. This is a blessing to be embraced. I wish everyone great success in getting healthy. I will check back in tomorrow and right before surgery. I will keep you posted.   Take care, Jen
jennilamb007

jennilamb007

5
 

Starting The Journey

Well, I have decided that although I don't have to start the liquid diet until December 8th, I am going to try liquids for breakfast and lunch and then a light dinner until then. Kind of wade into it. LOL. I bought some protein shake powder and skim milk. I like the vanilla and strawberry. Not a fan of the chocolate, but after a few days I may want the variety. I am just beyond thrilled that the surgery is in 25 days. I can do anything with that shining light at the end of the tunnel. I will keep you posted how this liquid diet thing goes. Wish me luck, because as a foodie, I am going to need it.   Oh, has anyone seen that Yonanna machine? I am thinking of investing in one. It turns real fruit into a frozen, smooth sorbet-like dessert. I will check it out.   Take care, Jen
jennilamb007

jennilamb007

1
 

I Have Lost 5 Pounds So Far

I have been on the pre-surgery Optifast 800 liquid diet for 3 days and so far I have lost 5 pounds. Being the third day today I have been struggling, but getting on the scale and seeing that drop has renewed me and I CAN DO THIS. So, while everyone at work is eating popcorn, chocolates and so forth, I am happily munching on my sugar free strawberry jello and thinking happy thoughts of this 5 pound loss and my surgery date on December 22nd. 2012 is going to be a great year.   Take care, Jen
jennilamb007

jennilamb007

5
 

First Time Blogging And I Kind Of Stink At It. Lol

Today is my first day of blogging on Lap Band Talk. I received a tentative date for my surgery and I am excited. If the insurance company approves me, then I am set to have Lap Band surgery on December 22, 2011. Merry Christmas to me. I have Federal Blue Cross Blue Shield and I have heard that they are good about approving for the surgery. I have done the 3 month doctor supervised diet, I am definitely in the BMI category of having this surgery, I logged vital signs, weights and food intake for three solid months to turn in to the insurance so that I would have all ducks in a row. I need this surgery, and I want to have this surgery. I have a family that I want so much to spend time with and do things with. I have wasted a lot of time not feeling like doing anything. With the emergence of grandsons who want my time and energy, I now realize that I am depriving them of a grandma who used to have a lot of energy and strength and should want to get that back. I want to get that back and I will. I have a great team who is ready to help me meet my weight loss goals. I have several goals and dreams in mind that motivate me to be my very best. As a healthcare professional, it is very hypocritical of me to tell someone to watch their diet, sugar intake, salt, activity level, etc. when I don't. I want to be able to educate my patients without them looking at me like "why don't you take your own advice". Well, I am. I told my daughter that for my 41st birthday in June I want to go zip lining with her and her sister. That gives me 6 months to get to a comfortable size to do something I have always wanted to do. We shall see where we go. Next stop, the 3 week liquid diet leading up to the surgery. Wish me luck.   Take care, Jen
jennilamb007

jennilamb007

5
 

Day 1 Of Pre-op Liquid Diet

Today I was contacted by my surgeon's office and was told to start the pre-op liquid diet today. Thank goodness all I had had so far was a cup of coffee. I am to have 2 meals that are liquid and 1 regular meal. The regular meal is to be whole foods and nothing processed. On December 7th, I switch to all meals being full liquid. My surgery date is set for December 22nd.   So, the first day of pre-op liquid diet: I got the call as I was drinking my one and only cup of coffee for the day. I had a Whey Protein Vanilla shake for breakfast and lunch. I had an Odwalla C Monster juice for a snack. Dinner was a sandwich and some sugar free pudding. I have a slight headache that I attribute to my body revolting against me because I am depriving it of fat and sugar. Too bad. I am going to look into other things that I can drink and eat. I love V8 juice (Spicy Hot kind) and Naked Protein smoothies. I welcome any and all suggestions. I am pretty thrilled I can eat Sugar Free Jello, Sugar Free Pudding and Applesauce. I am a big soup eater too, so that will be good. I was also told that I can eat fruit and veggies. I am going to enjoy those things until I have to go totally liquid. Wish me luck and I will keep you posted on my progress.   Take care, Jen
jennilamb007

jennilamb007

4
 

Black Friday

I made it through Thanksgiving without overdoing it. I realize that I don't have to start the liquids until December 8th, but I want to be as good and as healthy as possible until that time. No big last hurrah or anything because it is the compilation of many "last hurrahs" that got me where I am right now...unhealthy. I realize that food needs to be looked at as fuel and not as something that I am giving up or depriving myself of. I will have to change the way I eat and even eliminate entirely some things I like to eat. But, that depravation won't be so bad as I see a new, healthier me emerge. I have so many reasons to get healthy and I am completely motivated. I want to be the best version of myself that I can be. Here is to the holidays and the biggest, best Christmas gift of my life, my Lap Band Surgery.   Take care, Jen
jennilamb007

jennilamb007

2
 

Approved Today

I got some great Thanksgiving news today. My surgeon's office called and informed me that I was approved by my insurance to proceed with the lap band procedure. So, officially, I am having the surgery December 22nd. I start the liquid diet on December 8th. So, instead of three weeks of liquids they are having me do 2 weeks. They sent the papers yesterday and got approved today. Wow, that was super fast. So, from the time I went to the lap band surgery seminar to the time I get the actual surgery, the process will have taken 5 months. I am going to enjoy my Thanksgiving, without going nuts. I am going to prepare myself for the change of a lifetime that is about to take place and prepare my family for the changes as well. They are all excited for me and know that they have a part to play too in my success. All are on board. Have a Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow.   Take care, Jen
jennilamb007

jennilamb007

7
 

Appetizer Spoons And Forks

Just wanted to let everyone know that I found some fantastic silverware for lap banders. I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond yesterday and they pointed me to some appetizer spoons and forks. They are classy looking, silver, and come in a box of 12 for $15 each. The size of the utensils will help with keeping the bites small and the looks of them are nice for the dining table. If worse had come to worse I would have just eaten my food with a baby spoon that had Peter Rabbit on the end of it, but thankfully that won't be the case now. ; ) So, I wanted to let you know about my find. Also, they have adorable little tasting plates and bowls that are just right for our portions and they look fantastic. I bought a couple plates, but I plan to go back and get more. Hey, I am going to be eating like this forever and I want something nice to eat off of and with.   Take care, Jen
jennilamb007

jennilamb007

2
 

7 Pounds Down In A Week With Liquid Diet And No Cheating

Well, I am sitting here smelling the food from the office potluck and it is killer. Everything smells delicious. But, a very good friend of mine told me to remember "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels". I use it as a mantra to get through the holidays. I have attended 3 different Christmas potluck dinners and the food there is always wonderful, but I concentrated on the conversation and sipped coffee (I drank my protein shake prior to attending). I decided my best line of defense would be to tell people what is going on with me and everyone is supportive. No one comes up and says "aw come on, one bite" or anything like that. I also realize that people will always continue to eat and be festive and it is not for me to come in all ashes and sackcloth acting like I am dying because I can't eat from the buffet they have set out. I put on a smile, I dress up and I enjoy talking to my friends and family. Last night, however, about did me in. My kids just had to have Pizza Hut pasta and breadsticks. The pasta wasn't the killer it was the smell of the breadsticks. I wanted to climb the wall seriously. But I deeply inhaled, enjoyed the scent and then got away from it. I wish I had had the will to do all of this ages ago before my weight went out of control. I am learning the subtle differences between hunger and cravings. I crave things all the time, especially when I smell things (like right now I smell turkey and baked ham), but I have not once been hungry on this liquid diet. I keep flavored water next to me all the time, I sip on broth (adding a few flakes of dried onion for flavor) and sugar free hot apple cider to keep me satisfied. I know this is temporary and that after the band is placed I can have things I like, but not in the same way that I did. I will have to slow down and really enjoy each bite. One thing this liquid diet has taught me, it is how to taste things. I never knew beef broth could taste as good as it does. I didn't know apple cider could taste so wonderful. I think I was just scarfing everything down and not truly appreciating the flavors and textures. I will from now on. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone.   Take care, Jen
jennilamb007

jennilamb007

1
 

5 Days Post Op And Down 9 Pounds

Yesterday I had what Rhett Butler refers to as a crying jag. I bawled and bawled. Not because of my decision. No way, I am thrilled by my choice. I was crying because frankly anesthesia will do that to you. So, be warned. If you start crying for no reason that is probably why. This is why we give anti-anxiety meds to some post-surgery patients. I just sat and had a good cleansing cry and then I was fine. I am still having some pain on my left side near my ribs. Nothing in the shoulder as I have read some have. I am healing and I no longer require pain medications, but it is a bit uncomfortable sitting and standing at first and then it eases off. I hate that I can't hold my grandbabies for a few weeks, but it does get me out of diaper duty. hehehehe. So today, my daughters and I decided to weigh in. They did it in support of me. I hope I look as good as them someday. I stepped on and at 5 days post op I have dropped 9 pounds. I am thrilled. I am at 286. I hope this momentum keeps up. My oldest daughter, Kalila, said "wow that is like numbers you see on Biggest Loser". I thought that was funny. We did get The Biggest Loser for the Wii and as soon as I am allowed to exercise I am going to be all over it. I can't express how fantastic it feels to finally see the numbers going down. I do understand that some of that was water, but I am also not eating much either. I am perfectly satisfied with the portion allowed and it satisfies me for a long, long time. I actually heard my stomach growl the other day signaling hunger and I was pleased by the sound. I am waiting for cues and then fueling up properly. I will say this, I feel weak sometimes. I don't know if it is the small amount of calories or a reaction from the drugs leaving my body from the surgery. I figure a little of both. My body has been fueled on crap for so long that it isn't quite sure what whole foods are. All in all, even with the crying spell, I feel very good. I have support all around me and I plaster it on Facebook to keep me accountable. People want to cheer you on if you let them. I cheer each and every one of you on in your quest to be the best you.   Take care, Jen
jennilamb007

jennilamb007

6
 

2nd Consultation With Surgeon And Dietician

I went today to see my surgeon for our 2nd consultation. I absolutely love everyone at Dr. Cardwell's office. They are the greatest team. We discussed any concerns that I might have and went over what he expected post op. I didn't realize this, but he is putting a lift restriction on me for about 6 weeks post op to promote the best healing. I can't lift anything over 10 pounds for 2 weeks and then nothing over 20 pounds for 4 weeks after. He said he wanted the stitches and stomach to heal completely before I tried anything overly strenuous. After talking to him, I saw the financial advisor and paid my co-pay for the surgery. Then, I went to see the nurse to discuss pre-op diet and then some rules for post op. So, here it is, the completely liquid diet...Optifast. I am to drink 6 Optifast shakes a day...Breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner, evening snack. Along with the shakes I can have sugar free jello, sugar free popsicles, coffee, tea, broth, Crystal light, and ice tea (unsweetened). If I can see through it, I can have it (except alcohol of course) as long as it is also sugar free. After talking about everything at the surgeon's office, I went over to see the dietician, Jenny. She is fantastic. We went over the pre-op diet again, but then we focused on what could be eaten post op. I will be 3 days post op on Christmas day. She said that I should be on full liquids/soft diet by then. She told me for Christmas I could have a few tablespoons of mashed potato or potato soup. She also told me, and I really love this, that I could scrape off 1-2 tablespoons of pumpkin pie off of the crust and mix it with a teaspoon of Cool Whip and mix it up and have it for desert. Yum. So, I don't have to feel completely deprived. I was also told that if you really just have to have cream in your coffee, you can use a little vanilla Optifast to substitute. I drink mine black, but still it is a nice tip. The other ideas for Christmas (or anytime for that matter) that I thought was cool was pouring the vanilla Optifast in a glass, add a little nutmeg and cinnamon and voila, a substitute egg nog. Cool huh? The other thing, pour the Optifast in a freezer safe bowl, put it in the freezer and make an ice cream of sorts to change the consistency and make it feel like you are having a treat. I love how people get creative when faced with just a few things that are okay to eat/drink. So, bright and early in the morning, I get to start the countdown to my surgery day. December 22nd at 6am I will be changing my life. Take care, Jen
jennilamb007

jennilamb007

1
 

2 Days Post Surgery

I wanted to write right after surgery but the truth is, I just didn't feel up to it. On surgery day, I showed up with my mom as my driver/helper at the hospital at 6am. I was to be the second surgery of the day for Dr. Cardwell. I waited about 40 minutes in the Surgery Admitting area and they called us back to a room. I changed into a gown, had an IV started and lay there in the bed watching the Today show. My surgery was scheduled at 10:30am. The attendant came and wheeled me into the surgical holding room and it was ice cold. I couldn't believe how cold the room was but they covered me in blankets fresh from the warmer and that felt wonderful. My head was covered with a blue hat and I was given some medication in my IV to relax me. The anesthesologist came by to see me and he and the nurse took me into the OR. I slid over to the narrow OR bed and they continued to talk to me and tell me that everything was going to go well. I got another injection in my IV and by then I was really relaxed. The anesthesologist told me he was giving me oxygen and that the mask would smell like plastic. Whooo boy did it ever. I actually fought the mask because the smell was so strong, but I took a deep breath, heard "goodnight" from someone and then found myself waking up a moment later in my room. I had no problems during the surgery at all. The doctor thought I did great and told my mom that as well. I thought I would get to go home fairly quickly after, but I didn't leave until 8pm that evening. My issue was that I am very sensitive to anesthesia and I just wanted to sleep and sleep and my oxygen level kept dropping to 85 setting off alarms. They kept me on oxygen and finally after just sleeping the day away, I was able to do well without the oxygen. I went home and was happily surprised that climbing the steps into the house was nothing. I worried about the pain of taking steps but there was none. As the surgery pain meds wore off, I began to hurt. I had told mom not to worry about filling the pain script until the next morning. Bad move. I know better too. I didn't hurt much laying still, but getting up and down was horrible. Today, I am still very sore on the left side of my abdomen, but otherwise nothing. No gas and no traveling pain up to my shoulder. I have no appetite either. I am pretty content with my ice chips and SOBE Lifewater. I make myself drink a protein shake but otherwise I don't care for any food right now. I have made myself get up and walk often and turn every 2 hours when I lay down. I am doing deep breathing and coughing to prevent pneumonia. The percocet is causing me to itch so I take 2 childrens chewable Claritan to help with that. All in all, I am happy and looking forward to what comes next.   Take care everyone. Merry Christmas and here is to a wonderful New Year.   Jen
jennilamb007

jennilamb007

4
 

12 Hours To Go.....

Well, it is just 12 hours before I go to the hospital. I have gotten past the bout of nerves that I had yesterday and I am now excited and looking forward to this new journey. I am drinking my final protein shakes that I have to drink. I will have some jello and broth. I wonder if I will even sleep tonight. I have an hour drive to the hospital so I will be getting up at 4 to get ready. I have decided to wear some slip on workout pants and a tee shirt to be comfortable. I am contemplating just wearing slip on crocs so I don't have to worry about ties or anything. Well, I am going to go for now but I will keep you updated tomorrow.   Take care everyone, Jen
jennilamb007

jennilamb007

3
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