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start of my journey

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Today Is My Day!!

Well, in about 1 hour I am due to check in at the hospital. My surgery is set for 8:15. I havent really allowed myself to get nervous---up till now! Yesterday I was in a cleaning frenzy & it kept the thoughts at bay. I did tell my husband the following: I will be telling the anesthiologist that he cant let my face start on fire, cant let me wake up during surgery. If I contract some weird bacterial illness, I will not wake up in 6 mos w/out any limbs & be happy that Im alive!! (I obviously read too many weird stories & obsess on strange things!! LOL) I also told him that if something went wrong, he was not allowed to date for at least 2 years & couldnt even think of re-marrying before 5 years. He has to focus on the cats & the dog!! LOL Im not really worried about those things--they just kinda make me laugh & maybe not focus on the things that I could worry about. I do worry about what if even this type of extreme weight loss attempt Im not successful at? I've not done well at the other attempts, and I have heard of some who arent. But then I tell myself if I follow the diet & do the exercise, it'll take care of itself. Im looking forward to horseback riding, having my picture taken w/out thinking twice about it, exercising at a higher level than now, wearing summer clothes, going shopping for clothes in a normal store/normal section, riding a roller coaster, fitting in an airplane seat----the list goes on & on for me! And not to be too TMI, but a better sex life!! lol Im looking forward to the improved me!! Good Luck to all my fellow December Bandsters!

new chapter in life

new chapter in life

 

1 Month Surgery Anniversary

Well yesterday was 1 month since my surgery! And my first fill was on Jan 4th--I got 4cc's. I kind of panicked at first cause when I ate I didnt get that full feeling I thought I was supposed to. But Im measuring my food & sticking to the program. Ill just wait till my next visit in 6 weeks & see what happens. Ive been doing my workouts (not weights yet)---treadmill & elliptical & working w/bands---I feel great! Im down 25 lbs since my pre-op diet started on turkey day. Just losing that 25 lbs has made me feel like a new person. My clothes are loose--even my shoes are!! The only thing that has thrown me off is going back to work---I was able to be off almost a whole month--using vaca, holiday, sick & then my disability time (thank you God!)---so I go back to work & its like all my insecurities came flooding back!! I felt like my clothes werent loose enough--that I had gained back alot of the weight!! I just have to get over how I feel when Im at that place--and how my co-workers make me feel. 2 days back at work & I felt like this LARGE insignificant, invisible, useless person again. Hate that!!! So, to go along w/my physical transformation, Im working on my emotional & mental too---I have such low self-esteem & low self-worth its crazy. To do that, Im forcing myself to get out of my comfort zone!! Im not sitting idle on the couch,watching tv for one. Im signing up for water aerobics & ready to try archery again!! All the things Ive wanted to do---Im doing them!! Archery, fencing, horseback riding----Im all in!! This surgery is my ticket to places!! And Im taking over the workplace!! lol

new chapter in life

new chapter in life

 

Starting Pre Op Diet Wednesday

I have my Dr's visit on wednesday & will get all my stuff for the pre-op and then next Monday I have a mandatory lap band class. Has anyone else had to do this? Or is it just unique to my surgeons office---they said if I didnt attend, I couldnt have the surgery. In the meantime--I am counting down the last days at work. I told my co-workers I am having surgery & they asked why, but I am NOT telling them. I just dont want to deal with the "how are you doing?" "how much weight have you lost?" or my worse case scenario--I fail & have to live with the fact I had surgery & still couldnt lose weight. Too much pressure!! I know that this surgery wont make me prettier, younger etc--but what I will get is even better! I cant wait to buy/wear fashionable clothes. I can go horseback riding again!!! I can pursue all the athletic activities Ive missed. and thats why this is a new chapter in my life!

new chapter in life

new chapter in life

 

Staples Removed Today!

Well the ugly staples are gone---I think I had 9 or 10? I think its healing pretty good cause its starting to itch!! Im so afraid of scratching them while Im sleeping, so my husband slathers them in neosporin for me. I couldnt have done this without him--he has been so wonderful!! He is trying to lose weight on his own--which of course he always has been able to do....grrrr I have my 1st fill scheduled for Jan 4th--and the office has a meeting for all the newly banded people that day too. Im looking forward to meeting people in the same current situation as me. The office gave me a card today to present to restaurants---it has the Dr's office name on it & on the flip side it id's me as a weight loss surgical patient & asks that I be allowed to purchase a smaller portion at a reduced price or to order off the kids menu!! That is such a great idea! Then I wont be tempted by left-overs!! Everyday is a new step in the right direction!!

new chapter in life

new chapter in life

 

Bought A Scale Today!

I actually did it!! I voluntarily bought a new scale today...wow!! thats a big change right there. According to my new "friend", I am down 12 lbs since I started my pre-op diet on turkey day & had my surgery 12/6. Im pretty pleased with that! I made it to the gym--only did 30 mins on the treadmill, but it really makes a difference in how I feel. Started my pureed food diet----I did chicken w/mayo & seasonings--turned out like a pate---not too bad!! 3 tblsp each meal---I can do this! I have a long journey ahead of me---but when I look back to when I started this past April, this time seemed like it would never come. At times I feel slightly loser-ish that I had to have surgery just to lose weight----but I couldnt stick to a diet & I didnt want to continue down this path. So for now, Im just telling people that I had hernia repair surgery (which I did!) & its none of their business.

new chapter in life

new chapter in life

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