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Ups And Downs

Ok so I havent blogged in a while..... if I am honest with myself its because I was gaining a little weight..... I started solid food about 2 weeks ago and found that I could eat anything I wanted (except rice) and as much as I wanted. Needless to say Christmas was a treat!!! SO before I started solids I was at 246.6 and then I started eating and went up to 251 in 2 weeks....I guess it should be expected but it is still mentally hard to deal with...I got my 1st fill yesterday 12/29 ...3cc's (which my dr says it usually not enough) so I was back on my liquid diet for a day. I weighed this am and was back to 246.6 ....Just ate my 1st "meal" after my fill.... I had a grilled chicken sandwich from Chick Fil A... it went down easy (took about 10-12mins to eat it just to make sure). I dont really know how I feel right now...I can't tell if I am full to full or still hungry. I think that it is totally in my head, I think I am still hungry becuase I would normally have fries or coleslaw as a side and to not have anything but the chicken is a huge step for me. and no drink.   I have cleareance to go back to the gym which I plan on going on Monday, and am looking forward to. I have to be firm and stay on a strict schedule it is so easy to say I dont want to go today.   On a lighter note I got the x-box connect for Christmas and it is so much fun. Not to mention that it was a great workout!!! I worked up a sweat and my heart rate was up when I was done..guess I could fill in doing this when I don't feel like getting my stuff together to go to the gym
emmy78

emmy78

2
 

Day 13 - 1st Dr Visit

So yesterday was my 1st visit post op with my Dr. He seems very pleased with my progress and said I was healing well... He says that I have 2 more weeks of liquids....I will keep pushing ....   I have a challenge coming up ... The hubbys Christmas party is in a couple of weeks .. I can't wait to put on a cute dress and strut in ... ALL EYES ON ME... but I am worried that I will be confronted with all of that amazing food...I sould make a plan now so I don't fall into that trap....whats my plan??? I am going to drink a full protein shake about 30 mins before we go to the party so that I am full or at least not starving. I am confident in my ability to push through this!! I would like to have a drink, while I know this is not really in my food plan it is in the continuing to live my life plan...   My sutures are under the skin and they are itching soooooo bad... I keep putting ice on them and it helps a little. UGH .... I look prego cause I keep rubbing my belly.     I am upset with myself for not writing my questions down..I have so many for my Dr and keep forgetting to ask them when I am there   sw 269.6 cw 253.4
emmy78

emmy78

0
 

Day 11 Post Op

Healing well... Having less of the doubts about this being the right decision. .... I have been soooooooo busy that I don't even have time to think about food at this point. Thanksgiving was ok .. I wanted to eat but setteled for 2 bites of masshed potatoes and 2 tsp of Ice cream....o and I drank the juice off the collard greens.....so it was hard but more mentally than anything else....I have had a couple of stressfull situations latley which I normally would have run to McDonalds and gotten a burger but I have to learn to do this a different way now..... I am learning to ignore the grumbly tummy and just move on or have some water .... I know this liquid won't be forever and I look forward to the filet mignon ....I am thinking of doing a big Christmas at my house ... ..... I think I will be alright!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last weight was a few days ago before Thanksgiving and I was 256.2 which is down 13.6 lbs....
emmy78

emmy78

2
 

Really ?!!! Am I Alone?

ok so I am 5 days post surgery and I get home today and my husband pulls out a box of Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies ... and says look what some lady at Starbucks gave me.....my only response was "you just can't help yourself can you?" and he then gets mad at me saying it was something he wanted to share with me.........really? WTF? I understand that he didn't sign up for this but I haven't told him not to bring anything home just to not flaunt it in my face......I am so sad ... I want to cry ... Its only day 5 and it seems he keeps trying to tempt me ... Yesterday it was popcorn... he knew I had to go do something last night , couldn't he have waited till I left to make it?   I want to be strong but it seems the people closest to me are trying to sabatoge me... I feel alone and angry that he dosen't understand. Any attempt at me trying to explain this to him winds up in me in tears and upset (which does wonders for the horrible reflux I have right now) and him screaming and telling me that I'm selfish.   What's the divorce rate amoung couples where 1 partner has WLS and the other dosen't.   Please someone shed some light on this for me. Am I being unreasonable or mean?
emmy78

emmy78

9
 

Grits : Food Of The Gods

Ok so today is post op day 4 or 5 depending on if you count the day of surgery. I have to say that I thank my dad for instilling a love of grits in me.... They may have saved me tonight...I have been so hungry and needing something (maybe a mental thing) I ate a bowl of grits which are on my approved "full liquid" diet ... and they were amazing!!!! Can I just tell you that I never thought I would be in a position to write a whole partagraph on grits, but I guess the band changes us in many ways....   On another note I had a dream about hotdogs and nachos at the movie theater .... wow ... I must be a real adict if I am dreaming about food!!! Its like a whole new me....Lets hope tomorrow is even better thank today !!!
emmy78

emmy78

4
 

Am I Hungry

ok so my stomach is growleing and I hate my husband for making rice tonight but I cant tell if I am hungry or not....I don't "feel" hungry but I think I am fighting a mental thing. I drank 2 protein shakes today whick took me the better part of 2 hours each to get down ... and a little broth which felt good going down all warm ... and some water ... I am afraid of being dehydrated so I keep trying to cram fluids... even if it is just water .....took a little walk with my kids today trying to get moving but think I will skip the gym for a few more days......
emmy78

emmy78

4
 

4 Days Post Op

ok so here I sit on my couch wondering if I have made the right decision. My emotions are all over the place, I cant have a conversation without crying, I snap at my kids every time the make a noise and my husband has been cowering in the other room most of the day.. Now except for the addition of the crying this is almost a normal day. I know I am only a few days out but is normal to question your decision at this point? Everything I "eat" makes me ill...the reflux is so bad it feels like I am drinking acid, I cry at the drop of a pin and I feel like I am lazy for laying around all day.   This is the path I have choosen.... is it the right one? Why the doubt now? I was so sure a few weeks ago....I did leave the house for a little while today ... it was nice to smell the fresh air... maybe I can convince my hubby to go for a walk .. .but if he says no I am afraid I willstart to cry ...
emmy78

emmy78

0
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