Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
$99 Yearly Supply Alert! 🌈 "1 per Day!" Bariatric Multivitamins
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
  • entries
    2
  • comment
    1
  • views
    231

About this blog

Notes to Myself

Entries in this blog

 

Jello Freak Accident To The Tune of Katy Perry's "Firework"

I thought I'd motivate myself to do some housecleaning by cranking up the tunes. My ITunes playlist entitled "Feel It Burn" was lifted from the kids next door & everything on it has an upbeat tempo. My favorite is Katy Perry's "Firework" -- it's a great exercise tune. Very uplifting.   After emptying the dishwasher, I elected to make 6 cups of sugar-free jello (I am on my pre-op liquid diet). The plastic container I traditionally use sprouted a leak and began spraying boiling hot liquid jello everywhere.   Since Katy Perry's "Firework" was blaring I had been transported to a state on invincibility and it took me a few seconds to realize the bowl had the audacity to hemorrhage on a Super-hero like me. After salvaging about a cup of the liquid (will the other cup stop up the kitchen drain?) I took an inventory of the damage.   Spurts of red dye #40 had catapulted a good six feet from the kitchen sink. The floor looked like a crime scene. The countertop wouldn't come clean -- it seemed to be permanently stained.   By the time I tried to wipe the cabinetry, the jello had begun to gel. I don't know how b/c I had yet to add the cold water. I guess the force of the wind cooled the spraying jello in mid-air? I also wiped fully formed jello from the inside of my glasses and sandals. Had I known making jello was a full contact sport I would have been more appropriately attired.   Only minutes before, I had totally bought into Katy Perry's proclamation. I WAS a "firework"... destined for greatness. Mid-song, I was transformed from a firework to a f___-up & I made the appropriate substitutions in the lyrics as a I sang the song.   I hope the experience doesn't ruin the song for me. I LOVE that song.
FromPrisoner2Pioneer

FromPrisoner2Pioneer

1
 

A Few (29) Things Off My Chest

Today I'm feeling... I dunno... overwhelmed, anxious & tired...     So, this is the part where I talk to myself. Privately. The good, bad and the ugly. My FEELINGS. A place for my incipient thoughts. A place to record both "the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat."   How am I feeling? Well, I have many emotions --all awash with one another. Hey, I just discovered spell-check. Thank God! But I digress...   What was I saying? Oh yeah... I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by my emotions this evening b/c there are so many.   1) The other patients (i.e. friends) found their way to this forum much earlier in their journey than I did. It leaves me starting out feeling behind. <-- That sentence is a grammatical car wreck, but, who cares?   2) The other patients are universally younger than I am -- much younger, by, like 10 years. The average age must be well below 40. I'm thinking "can this old dog really learn any new tricks"?   3) The other patients are far more positive and "fired up" than I am. Perhaps that's the age thing? Although, I must recognize that I'm very negative, in general. I'm very sarcastic and somewhat fatalistic. Some of that's age, I suppose. Reversible? Can I pioneer my way to a new attitude?   4) I'm disappointed that I'm not disappointed about breaking the clear liquid diet today (5 days before surgery). It's just that, I'm thinking, I don't want to have the all or nothing attitude: "If I'm not perfect then why try at anything?" But then again, when do we get this party started? Like, when will I really get serious?   4) And I've noticed that none of the folks on the forum talk about falling short of perfection. That bothers me. I'm mean, it's not REAL, is it? Do I believe I'm the only one who has cheated on their pre-op diet? No. Is my need to talk about it therapeutic for me? Yes. For others? Maybe not. Maybe this is where they come to hear the cheerleaders & the naysayers just get in the way? I think it will take time to figure out which side of the fence I fall on. In the meantime, I need to do more lurking than talking.   5) I'm wondering if Josh talked about cheating in his seminars? Or was he a dyed-in-the-wool koolaid cheerleader? Or maybe he was perfect with his diet? Doubtful. One thing's for sure... he doesn't really want to talk about his "journey" to me. I guess there's no point in trying to figure out why -- the effect on me is the same.   5) I'm feeling tired & lack energy. This is a progressive thing since I started the two-week pre-op diet... leading to the shrimp-fest tonight. Who am I kidding? It was shrimp, a can of chicken noodle soup & two boiled eggs. Hey, at least it wasn't spaghetti topped with mashed potatoes?   6) I'm a little nervous about the surgery. Well, more the recovery than the surgery. I really want to get back home as soon as possible. Folks say your recovery can take between two days and a week. I am certainly hoping to be recovered in two days. I don't want to wear out my welcome at Mom's. Robert & I have a tendency to get over-exposed while Mom's off at work. I still require a great deal of private time.   7) I'm a little buggered by the board itself. Having successfully dodged Facebook for 7 years, many of the features of this board are new to me. That wouldn't be a problem if I had a MEMORY. I don't remember how to navigate around. I've spent several hours on it & I just have to re-learn & re-learn. I wish I'd have given myself a longer ramp before surgery.   8) I'm somewhat concerned about other people's estimate of their out of pocket expense. I'm wondering if there's something I've missed?   9) I'm concerned that I don't have a mentor at this juncture.   10) I'm wondering if I don't need to join Overeater's Anonymous? To help with the "head hunger"?   11) I'm stymied by my inability to make myself drink water. What's up with that? It may simply be logistics. I left the top of my blue cup at Mom's & w/o a top I'm paranoid that bugs will get inside my water glass.   12) I'm worried that I won't be able to swallow my pills post-op. Crunching them, as suggested by Linda Lundin, seems to be doing harm to my teeth? I've drug my feet on discussing this with my pharmacist(s). It's like it's hard for me to believe that I really won't be able to swallow a pill? I'm in complete denial about this.   13) I'm disappointed that I can't afford a couple of books I'd like to have (Bandwagon & a recipe book).   14) I'm concerned about the Atkins-esque nature of my meeting with the dietician. I hate Atkins. If that's what's required, then I'll flunk. I can do it for the 2-week pre-op diet, but afterward? I just can't do Atkins the rest of my life.   15) I'm worried about having a panic attack at the hospital. Not being able to escape. Like, physically being tethered by an IV so that I can't run for the door. I'm concerned about running into someone that I know.   16) I'm concerned about having surgery at Baptist. I had such a bad experience there last time with the nursing staff. I should ask Dr. McDowell for an abdominal binder? And I'd like to wear my bra to surgery?   17) I'm overwhelmed by the number of tasks required to clean this house before I leave for Nashville. And Tuesday, I'll be babysitting all day. Dad would say make an exhaustive, itemized list.. start on the first item... and throw the list away. The thought of Dad still makes me smile & he's been gone for 16 years.   Now, let's see. Mom would have me list the things I'm grateful for:   1) My new smoothie maker.   2) My approval after 6 long months of food diaries & PCP visits. the psych eval/letter was a snap? Some folks on the board aren't so lucky?   3) The lake. Man, do I miss the lake. Can't wait until summer.   4) My bicycle.   5) My small hamlet, my own home & my next door neighbors. Surely, my recovery is tied to these things?   6) lapbandtalk.com   7) My (relative) mental disposition. As poor as it is, I am able to do this. There was some question at one time? No panic attacks thus far?   8) My relatively low co-pay & the fact that Russell says he'll pay it. (Wow!)   9) Russell -- he deserves a category of his own. He helps me quite a bit financially. And emotionally.   10) The Internet -- my window to the world.   11) Clean socks. <-- my homage to Richard Hoover.   12) Clean car. <-- I can honestly say this, Richard Hoover notwithstanding.   Yes, Mom's right... that list did cheer me up. And writing definitely helped to get some stuff off my shoulders. I've been having trouble sleeping and suddenly I feel like I've unburdened myself. This blog thing (albeit, private) might work out for me afterall?    
FromPrisoner2Pioneer

FromPrisoner2Pioneer

0
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0

PatchAid Vitamin Patches

Bariatric Forums

For Patients

Health Professionals

Search Surgeons

Bariatric Surgeons: Want to research a weight loss surgery surgeon? Enter their last name below to start!

×