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Good Morning 201.6

Got on the scale; didn't really want to and 201.6!   Oh wasn't I here a while ago??? trying to behave myself... happy to inch closer and closer to 199 :thumbup: Des
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

193 for Real?

Yeah for REAL! I really need to step up my game. I wanna lose at LEAST 20lbs by my b day and 30 sum by summer!
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

Good Morning 198.9!!!

Finally I am out of the 200's!!!! :thumbup:I can't remember when I was at this weight, probably high school or early college! This feels soooo good, so I'm chuggin the water today and making sure I stay on track... My period has also decided now is the time, so I'm going to not weigh myself again until after Christmas!!!
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

January 3rd 194.9

Well I hadn't planned on having to postpone my appointments this week, but after much consideration and financial issues, I really need to cancel my follow up with Dr. Linder and consults and reschedule for a better time... :smile2: I'm not totally happy avout it, but I realley need to get my stuff together... bummer!
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

I'm Venting Y'all

I’m writing this because I don’t believe I have ever been this frustrated in my entire life. I have been through so much bull shit in between doctor’s visits and dealing with my insurance and I’m sorry if I offend anyone, but I truly need to vent. I’m obese! Dammit I’m over 100 lbs over weight and this is simply bullshit! I’ve been through so many pre testing…I’ve paid at least 3 grand in having doctors see me naked and examine me for this surgery…only to have my paperwork not reach my insurance… my insurance to say it’ll take a good 30 days for me to be approved and my doctor’s office to be waiting….. mean while, my ass is getting sick and fucking tired of all this drama! I hate that I cry more than anything out of anxiety over this surgery…I don’t feel any closer today than I did back in August when I was sent to a doctor who didn’t even do the lap band procedure! I’m frustrated beyond frustration and I STILL have to put on a pretty face and work today! I think that J doesn’t want to have anything to do with me because he hasn’t called me, and I don’t think he even cares…maybe I’m too fat for him? Duh…maybe I am, I know I hate what I see in the mirror! Ardith was right, people treat you so much different when you’re larger…I’m tired of being overlooked and ignored…I’m through with the men who want to be “friends” because they’re scared of being in a relationship with a fat girl. I’m no less likely loveable because of the extra flesh on my frame. I’m a human being…I’ve got feelings and why am I caring about Jeff when he obviously doesn’t give a rats ass about my big fat ass!? Can’t buy love Desiree, I could have sent dozens of care packages to his ass in Iraq and that wouldn’t change the fact that he used me and my kindness and I was a gullable stupid girl still searching for acceptance in others. When will I learn to crave that acceptance from myself. I know I’m venting, but am I really prepared for this surgery? I have a lot to think about…:angry
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

3
 

Well Well Well...

It's funny...I have a tentative surgery date for next Friday.... funny that my insurance says we haven't recieved any paperwork....Yeah it's all just...Funny...not.... But I can at least laugh about it right :mad: This will doggone make me stronger.. I'm ready y'all, I bought my goodies, broth....protein (Protein nectar and isopplus) Liquid tylenol, gas ex strips...liquid calcium vitamines...the kind you take by spoonful.... I'm Xcited LOL
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

Good Morning 217.4

I slept so much better last night! I think what helped is I stayed up later... I went to bed around midnight after staying up to watch wrestling... I know I'm wierd LOL... I had a little burp this morning that woke me up, but nothing with the up chuck... I have to get rid of this cough... I caught a friends cold a few weeks ago and this caugh is trying to take up residence in my body and I'm just not having it LOL.... I am feeling very lonely... I know that things with Dave were a farced and he took advantage ofme wether he wants to believe it or not.... I haven't talked to Andre in days and Joel? Well.... I think it's fair to say he's not interested. Isn't that funny.... three guys were after me and now they've fallen off the face of the earth it seems.... maybe I just need to go this alone and if Mr. Him comes along he does.... it just sucks not having someone to share my life with.... but no PITY PARTIES here! I mean I'm at 217.4 Baby!!!!:w00t:
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

Meeting Dr. Linder

I'm meeting Dr. Linder today. I'm so excited, my dad is driving... one question is why are we leaving so early? 8am? For a 1pm appointment when my appointment is in Beverly Hills not Utah LOL!   I'm hoping to work the money thing out... I only have the 5k now... hopefully some in house payment plan or financing can be arranged.   I'll keeep you updated :thumbup:
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

Sauna Sauna :)

Found this Sauna in Riverside I wanna check out: Kyoto Sauna 10600 Magnolia Ave #D Riverside, Ca 92503 http://www.kyotosauna.com They have some good prices and I wanna start utilize the Sauna in my new regimine... OMG I'm watching too much UFC LOL, but I have a few friends who are fighters and they're pretty smart... :thumbup:
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

It's August 22nd already :)

Glad I got my fill yesterday.:tt2: Boy was I ready! As my wieght was dipping towrards 210 in the last few weeks it's been jumping up and when I had my fill yesterday I was 216.5:bored:.... This morning I am 214.4! I also found a way to tolerate the Protein Juice's Lemon Tea flavor:confused_smile:... I mixed it with lite lemon time... so much more tolerable.:w00t: Something scary did happen yesterday when I went in... I was told I had a $15,000 balance and how much was I putting towards it before my fill:eek:... I was like HUH? It was all a clerical error, and they had me as a cash client instead of insurance... whew! No strange side effects after the fill, but this morning I am taking in a serving of protien drink and I have a slight headache... other than that all is good:biggrin2:
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

Dr. McDreamy!!!

Dr. Linder is absolutely WONDERFUL! My consult was fabulous and I feel totally comfortable with him being my PS! Showing my belly and lower pouch was kinda embaressing, but we're trying to get insurance to cover... without insurance it's $18,000.:thumbup: I need an extensive tt with no muscle tightening. so I have a lot of homework to do... I need documentation of my rashes and back pain and letters from Dr. Liu and a few other doctors. I'm so excited... I'm looking at $7,000 if insurance cooperates. I'm praying for God's favor
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

Happy New Year 195!

Had a Happy NYE with my sis and good friend Jennifer! we had very little chinese and cheese fruit and crckers. I managed to avoid alcohol Yaaay me!.... today is my moms seafood gumbo OMG how good, but I'm gonna behave and no rice... okay very little rice.... OKAY NO RICE geesh! LOL
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

Good Morning 203!

I hate to think what the cleaning people in my office think when emptying my garbage.... at times I find I have to PB (is that it) in my garbage can... as gross as this sounds, and I know it's TMI, I just have to get that "slime" up out of my throat.... very little food comes up, just a bunch of nasty slime... I'm sure this is the lubricant trying to get the food all the way down to my stomache. So this morning I ate a boiled egg and a few slices of bacon in the car on my 45 minute drive to work... I was fine... then I got to my desk and started to feel it and had to PB.... or is it PM... whatever, I had to do it....   So I'm down to 203! closer and Closer to breaking 200! Oh Praise the LORD!   Gotta work now so latas :mad2: Desi:rolleyes2:
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

Food for thought today

The beans and cheese I made last night gave me terrible gas and I was burping up nastiness and had to sleep practically sitting up last night. I know the band is tight and maybe a little swollen from my fill five days ago. I feel is... I mean it feels like a little cramp right below my boobies. I pureed the Chicken vegetable soup I made... yummo has lots of protein and spinich, broccoli, leek, potato... I'm eating softees for a few days so my band will calm down. I've also got a big glass full of ice on my desk. I hope to get down more water today... a few more bites of this soup and I'm done... I try to space them out two minutes to let the food go down. I'm done after 15 minutes Have a great day!
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

Four Months Really???

It's actually been four months since my initial consult with Dr. McCoglan and today it was my honor to meet the Dr. who would be doing the cutting: Dr. Carson Liu. He answered my every question and I felt so much peace. I'm excited about my lapband and can't wait till insurance gives me the green light. My friend Andrea got her okay yesterday....YAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Andrea is a sweetheart and I'm glad she held on a little longer. I so can't wait to see our transformations. Today it was also my honor to meet Holly. Holly had the procedure in August and she answered so many questions and even let me see her scars (what scars) and feel her port. I'm so very excited to get this done. Another thing going well is things at my work. I believe me and my manager have come to an understanding. This is not a vanity thing for me. This is all about being healthy and re-gaining my life. I'm happy in all aspects.... Now if I can only get my love life together LOL:p
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

Add it to my file...

I had an appointment with my GP Dr. Saab today. I told him I've been having back pain and skin rashes under my belly... He gave me a prescription for skin cream and documented the rash. He also gave me a perescription for muscle relaxer and pain medicine for the back problems and has referred me out to have physical therapy 3 times a week for three weeks...
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

Temptation thy name is Munchos

I'm fighting the good fight cos on my lunch break I so wanted ONE TACO... then I said no, then I said, well I'm gonna move my car cos I've got these 3 inch heels on and I'm parked far away, it'll be dark after work... so I move my car and there's no close parking spots except by the AM & P.... no big, but I now want Munchos... I fought the impulse, only to get to my desk and count out nine dimes and two nickles... enough for a bag of Munchos... again I fought the temptation and reached for the snack size can of tuna in water in my desk... and now.... yes I'm still thinking of Munchos, but I'm settling for the tuna LOL:w00t:
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

Well? I'm waiting...... :)

I'm finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All test are done and now i'm just waiting for my insurance to give me the okay!!!! My friend's appointment is set and I'm so excited for Andrea, it's been a long journey even this far for her! Met with a wonderful doctor yesterday for my Psyche eval.... very cool, we went over so much stuff and she gave me her green light.... We also were able to discuss the difficulties I've had in my new office.... Just when I think things are getting better, some idiot rears her ugly head. I actually had a rep recieve a bad review and she blamed it all on her assistant...me? So I got re-assigned and a little "un-pep talk". I'm too through with this Comcast vs Adelphia bullshit in my office-- it's so like a three ring circus-- too much drama for this girl:cool:
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

2
 

Attempting a Protein Day

Today, I'm attempting to do protein nectar all day with water.... I'm still fluctuating and haven't dropped below 200 and it's frustrating. This may be a good thing, because I'm broke and protein is about all I have lol.... So I'm gonna finish this cup on my desk and then have another for lunch and go out to my car and chill..... We'll see how this goes:unsure:
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
 

It's Overcast out today...

I have a lot more planning for my surgery today. I have so much inspiration and ideas from Lapbandtalk.com members. My friend Sue is just so awsome. She knows how scared I am because I'm doing this by myself. :cry She's gonna take care of me after my surgery and she is so dear to my heart. She had the bypass surgery last year. My other friend Andrea is so awsome too, she is having the same surgery with Dr. Liu and said she'll take me to the appointment. I can't thank the Rogers enough. I met them yesterday when I had my appointment fiasco-- What a sweet kind mother and daughter:love: . I wish my mom was so here for me like that Well.....gotta jet Desi
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

2
 

TGIF!!!!... obtw... Good Morning!!!!!

238.9 !!!!   I'm absolutely loving being out of the two forties! Work was such a crappy thing yesterday. It never helps when you work with lazy people and are so expected to do all their work, that you never finish your own work. I know I need to pray for these people, but can't they still tick me off LOL
Desiree1970

Desiree1970

1
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