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About this blog

Food/exercise/whatever journal.....

Entries in this blog

 

I'm Alive!

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while, my life and work has been so busy, I can't find the time! But here I am, catching up with you, whoever you are. LOL.   So, after reading my last blog entry, and the whole Adipex situation, I was definetly over-reacting. I've been taking Adipex since the last blog entry and have lost 21 lbs. I don't feel jittery anymore, but also I don't feel hungry. I eat three meals a day, my calorie intake is less than 1000 calories a day and I'm okay with that! I don't know if it's the band or the Adipex or both, but whatever works lol.   Overall since December 2011 I have lost 53 lbs. I am literally one pound away from the "goal weight" I wanted to be for my trip to Mexico next month. My original overall goal weight was to be 180 which would be considered a normal BMI for my height (I'm 6' tall) but thinking about it, my primary care md and OB/GYN stated that BMI's were designed by insurance companies for contract exclusions and they both would like to see me when I reach around 220. Especially my OB/GYN. She wants to make sure I'm extremely healthy since I will probably be pushing out a couple of kids in the next few years (I hope before 35!). I also told my band doctor that and everyone was fine with it. They basically told me when I get down to 220 see how you feel/look whatever and maybe a consult for plastic surgery (which I'm a little confused about since I would prefer to wait after I have children, especially for a breast lift/implants). Long story short, I have to lose 41 lbs to get down to 220. It seems like a ways to go, but I've lost more than half so far (I think so I'm bad at math).   My clothes are fitting differently, my breasts are smaller I feel like I'm losing weight differently than before. I think I need new bras, I'm going to go to Victoria's Secret Saturday and get fitted. I bought clothes from Old Navy in my old size, XXL shirts and 20 pants and everything was too big. I tried on size 16's and I could get them buttoned but not zipped up, so I'm guessing I'm an 18 lol.   It's crazy too because I feel like I don't excercise that much. I walk back and forth from the train station to my job it's 2 miles round trip and 40 minutes total a day. Yesterday when we walked we stopped and got frozen yogurt lol. I definetly don't deprive myself.   I was so ready to give up on the band, but after giving it another try again, I feel like it's actually working. I went in for a fill this Monday and the APRN said I didn't need it because I was losing weight so well and she was a little nervous giving me a fill and then me leaving the country lol. I have another appointment when I get back, so I may ask for a fill then just to feel better. It's like I'm getting anxiety like "omg I just ate and my stomach is growling I need a fill!" but I know it's all in my head lol.
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So Confused (And Jittery!)

Went in for my fill yesterday, was down 6lbs since my last fill on February 27th. I was feeling good about that until the APRN who does the fills comes in, she decides that she wants me to lose more weight and put me on Adipex. She gives me a fill and tells me to come back in two weeks to follow up from the Adipex.   I was very on the fence about this, I could've taken Adipex years ago, I didn't want to. Does this MDs office have some sort of weight quota they have to meet per year??? If I wanted to lose weight fast I would've had the bypass.   Anyway, being the good patient I am, I took the Adipex at 7am this morning. By 8am, I am bouncing off the walls. I just finished 1 cup of soup, and that's all I've eaten today. Right now I'm sweating like crazy, this is not good!   I'm going to keep taking it until my follow up appointment in two weeks. I promised myself if I lose 10 lbs in the two weeks I'll keep taking it, if not, then I'm going to tell them that I'm not taking it anymore and I've been losing weight at a good pace (IMHO)   Ugh story of my life!
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Back From The Conch Republic

Well I'm safely back at work after an amazing week in Key West. The weather was beautiful it literally rained 5 minutes one day and was sunny for the rest of the week. I did okay food wise, not a lot of snacking but a lot of big meals (and two slices of Key Lime Pie!).   Let's see, highlights of the week. The flight down was smooth, no problem at all, had a looong layover in Fort Lauderdale, it was boring! They had a Chili's with a very limited menu and I hate Chili's but I was starving, so I had some sliders which were gross.   Wednesday my mom and I drove up to Grassy Key to go to the Dolphin Research Center she really enjoyed it, it was a belated birthday gift for her so I treated her to that, breakfast and lunch. I have a new found love of mahi mahi and had a blackened mahi mahi sandwich at this restaurant in Key West, we loved it so much we brought my dad back for a last meal together on Friday night.   Thursday my dad and I chartered a boat and did some light tackle fishing out in the Gulf of Mexico. Light tackle fishing turned into deep sea fishing at some point, I'm not sure....anyway, after the boat captain casts out my line, I get a bite, and I start reeling, and reeling, and reeling, finally after a half hour and a couple of breaks, I reel in a 60lb Amberjack. My dad has pictures I'm dying to show the world, I was so proud of myself! The captain asked if I wanted to get it taxidermed (is that the word?) my dad started laughing knowing how much of an animal lover I am, I go "throw him back, I don't want him on my wall, he needs to live a long life!" meanwhile, my dad catches a 30 lb Amberjack that they throw in the cooler for dinner that night, I didn't find this out until we got back on the dock and the captain is gutting the fish....but it was good   Saturday I came home, I was so tired I had a late dinner of a steak and cheese sub at like 10:30 at night with the dbf. Sunday, he cooked eggs, sausage and toast, and we had general tso's shrimp for lunch. I am feeling the regret from this since I'm going in for a fill at 1pm, I know I lost something this month, I don't feel like I gained, my clothes fit fine but the scale will tell! If anything, I'll just get a lecture (actually I think they put in my chart I was coming back from vacation lol), a fill and get back on track again. I worked out one day on vacation, and I'm counting Thursday as a work out day because my left arm is still sore! Re-doing week three of c25k since I've been doing such a GREAT ::rolls eyes:: job at it! Actually Monday on vacation I re did week three and I was doing okay, not great, but not dying either, so we'll see how it goes.   Food wise this week---forget about cooking, after my fill, I'm going to pick up my cat from the kitty bed and breakfast and it's off to stop and shop since Smart Ones are 2 bucks each this week. There's my cooking for you lol. Sodium city, but I'm drinking a ton of water lately.   Well I guess that's all in my universe, once I get some pictures from vacation I will post them asap.  
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A Way Better Day!

So enough crying and whining yesterday--today was a new day and I think I did alright! I had some scrambed eggs, a hash brown and also got some pink grapefruit that I couldn't eat. I think tomorrow I'll cut out the hash brown, it was a little gross. Had my kashi cereal for lunch and I just discovered these AWESOME chips that if I can find them in single serving size at the grocery store I'm going to pick up, because 75 cents a pop at the vending machine is a little expensive. They are from Herr's and they are "popped chips" they are good, but I could probably have way more than one!   Last night my friend and I went to a "total conditioning" class. I did alright, kept up with the instructor and did my first pushup EVER! I was so proud of myself! I did more than one pushup obviously but I was just in shock with myself! The part I couldn't do were the "planks" those are tough, but I'm going to keep up with it, and try to do it. I have to call tomorrow to pay for the rest of the classes I'm kind of sad that I'm going to miss the class next week. Also the girl I went with I convinced her to go to Zumba with me on Thursday nights after I get back from vacation. So, with everything being said and done, that's 5 nights a week of excercise!   Tonight I'm going to go to the track and re-start week 4 of c25k since I missed Monday due to the migraine. Thursday I'll do another c25k train and then Saturday when I get down to Florida. The dbf is going to come over tonight to hang out and relax since we won't be doing much of that Friday!   Have a good day everyone!
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If I Could Kick My Own @$$ Right Now I Would!

So my whole thing this week was I was going to go on a liquid diet before vacation to kind of balance out all the potential crap I'm going to eat next week. Well, yesterday was WONDERFUL! Not! Two protein shakes and a fight with the dbf gave me the worse migraine I had since before my surgery! I was so nauseous I wanted to throw up but I couldn't, ugh. So I took two advil and closed the blinds in my family room. Okay so two protein shakes, a handful of pretzels because I thought it was my blood sugar that was off, then a packet of cream cheese at Dunkin' Donuts because I thought it was STILL my blood sugar! I get home and eat a whole bag of......wait for it......steamed broccoli with pesto (bad!) and mayo (worse!!!!) but I did feel somewhat better. I was pissed too because I didn't get to excercise. So there's kicks in the @$$ parts 1, 2 and 3!   I feel like I'm failing, I've been doing so good 30 lbs in 3 months is nothing to sneeze at! But now I feel like I'm sabotaging myself! I hate it!   Today started off fine, I had my usual egg white omlette with veggies and cheese lunch was a disaster. I had half of a tuna sandwich with some steak fries. I feel so bad eating those, I suck at this! Stop the sabotage!!!!! At least I know that for dinner I made something healthy and I'm going to a new excercise class tonight with my friend from high school. This class is free for me (tonight) I need to see if I can make it from the train station. If I like it I'll sign up for it. If I don't I think I'm going to sign up at a studio that has Zumba classes 7 days a week and go on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tomorrow I'm re-doing the week of c25k that I did last week since I missed a run Monday I probably lost a lot of endurance.   Okay, so I f***** up today. Now a game plan for tomorrow. Breakfast: egg white omlette NO CHEESE! While I'm there, I'll get my lunch. They have Kashi cereal and milk. I'll have that for lunch and not even have a chance to meet up with the fries again tomorrow. Lunch: Kashi high protein cereal with skim milk. Dinner: Quorn cutlets with pesto and mozzarella. C25k after work. Don't give up!!!!   I don't even want to think about getting on the scales Thursday. If I gained I'll do a liquid diet Thursday and Friday just to get some weight off. I think I would've been okay if I didn't have the migraine from hell. It's such an excuse, but every time I get a fill I'm on a liquid diet and I'm fine no headaches or anything!   I need all the support I can get today!   Buuuuuttt on a nsv kind of note, I was quite proud of myself at the grocery store on Sunday. I was going to get the ingredients for my dinner this week and I wanted something to snack on since I was stressed. I'm not going to lie I grabbed tortilla chips, had a couple of handfuls with salsa and cheese and threw the rest out. Before this, I would've gotten cookies, ice cream, salty crunchy crap, but none of that interested me (I didn't even go into the Easter aisle damn Cadbury eggs!).   Also, I packed some healthy snacks in my luggage for my lay over Saturday. I packed a tuna salad to go kit (it's 200 calories) I'm also going to get some Ritz snackerfuls or whatever they're called and some rice crackers. Maybe some candy idk I'm going to see how I do food wise this week.   I'm just hoping my next fill is going to get me into the "green zone" I feel like I'm close. The band is definetly still there!
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What A Weekend

The luck of the Irish was definetly not on my side this weekend! Sorry I didn't blog on Friday, nothing really exciting going on lol. This weekend food wise was uneventful ate like crap like always, then regret it later, then realize that it wasn't that much food. Going on a liquid diet today until friday to amp up the weight loss. Having a protein shake for breakfast and lunch and a low-cal/high protein dinner. I'm eating/drinking 530 calories a day. Starting another week (I've lost count at what week I'm on) on c25k, spent all of last week outside doing it, the weather has been so nice.   Tuesday I'm trying out a class with a friend of mine it's cardio and hand weights, I have to see if I can make it from the train station to the class by 5:50 or so (the class starts at 6). Thursday I might "drop in" on a Zumba class see if I like the instructor, so I'll be officially working out 5 days a week starting in April! But I'll enjoy it because I enjoyed being outside all week last week. I actually enjoy being active!   I guess that's all, Mondays still suck even though it's my last week before vacation here at work!   Have a great day!
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Oh Yeah, So That's How It Feels--I Forgot!

Three funny things happened last night after work:   1) I realized how tense I was when I'm running, so I just said to myself "relax stupid" and the tension from me grinding my teeth all the way down to my feet just kind of untensed and I had no headache yesterday yay!   2) I made General Tso's tofu. IDK I'm just not really interested in food anymore. Had three bites, threw the rest out even spit out what I was chewing and ate steamed broccoli instead (my crack). Also my mom gave me a subscription to Food Network magazine, I leafed through it found 0 recipes that I would make and threw out the magazine. Usually I would try to find something. Nope not this time lol.   3) I think I may have eaten a little too much broccoli bc I got that "stuck" feeling so I danced around the house listening to my iPod and it helped move the food down lol. So I got a little more excercise yesterday, my cat must think I'm crazy. Also I sing out loud while I'm running and I don't care who hears me lol.   I'd like to share what is on my c25k playlist, reminder: I'm a white girl from the suburbs so just digest that as you read. Let me know what's on your playlist:   Talk That Talk-Rihanna Telephone-Lady Gaga The World Is Mine-David Guetta Touchin on My-3OH!3 Til the World Ends-Britney Spears Turn Up The Music-Chris Brown Welcome To The Jungle-Guns N Roses Where Them Girls At-David Guetta Who's That Chick-David Guetta You Could Be Mine-GNR You Make Me Feel-Cobra Starship All of The Lights-Kanye @$$ Back Home-Gym Class Heroes Beautiful People-Chris Brown Becky-Plies Better With the Lights Off-New Boyz Black and Yellow-Wiz Khalifa Blackout-Breathe Carolina Bottoms Up-Trey Songz Turn It Up-Busta Rhymes Look At Me Now-Chris Brown Click, Flash-Ciara Countdown-Beyonce Break My Fall-DJ Tiesto feat BT E.T.-Katy Perry Hell On Heels-Pistol Annies Holliwood-Madonna I Don't Care-Fallout Boy International Love-Pitbull Judas-Lady Gaga Love Game-Lady Gaga Love Can Kill You-BT Marry The Night-Lady Gaga Mrs. Right-Mindless Behavior Super Thug-Nore Hot Tottie-Jay Z & Usher Paris-Kanye & Jay Z Ocean Avenue-Yellowcard Otis-Kanye & Jay Z S&M-Rihanna Somnambulist-BT Suddenly-BT Can't Get Enough-J Cole Wild One-Flo Rida   Things that happened to me today:   I lost 2lbs, so officially in three months I have lost 29 lbs!   I wore two different sneakers to work today lol.
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Ouch!

Yesterday was uneventful, work ended up being crazier than ever, left a lot of stuff kind of "in the air" in regards to insurances and this morning it was nice to see all those surgeries cancelled lol. Today is a light day, still going to try to catch up so that I don't leave my co-workers with a ton of stuff to do while I'm away.   Today is looking to be a great day. Might run on the track again. I think I hurt my back running without a treadmill on Monday, I was definetly tensing up. My whole left side is killing me, I thought it was something with my kidneys it hurt that bad, but then when I stretched out a bit this morning it helped and walking definetly helps.   So I've decided next week I'm going to have protein drinks just for breakfast and lunch and a light dinner. I need to really amp up my weight loss before I go on vacation. Granted, I don't think I'm going to go crazy food wise in Florida, but my mom loves snack foods and dips, so do I, so I'm just going to try to be good. Also I have a fill the Monday after I get back from vacation so I don't want to hear it from the APRN if I gained weight even though she said last time "if you're going on vacation you'll probably gain weight, I won't get on you about it" lol yeah right! I'm going to go to GNC and see what they have for protein powders and try something different I usually go to WalMart but I think GNC will have a better selection. I'm craving something like cake batter tasting in the worse way!   I decided to take a half day off the Friday before I leave for Florida, to get errands done before my flight leaves (we have to leave dbf house at 3:30am to get to Newark Airport OMG!). I figured out my schedule for the day and holy crap here goes:   12pm leave work 12:30 arrive home (probably earlier) 1:30-2pm Wax appointment 2:10-2:30 wrangle cat into cat carrier 2:30-3:30 drop cat off at kitty bed and breakfast go to Coach outlet next to kitty bed and breakfast 4:00-5:00 mani/pedi 5:15-6pm home to go over packing list and put luggage in car 6:30-8:30 hair appointment and stop to liquor store 8:30-9:30 dinner w/ dbf 10:15-?? Hunger Games! 12am-3am watch movies with dbf and get ready to leave for airport   Yeah, so it's going to be a little crazy next Friday. I'm going to do some packing this weekend, I have to make sure the cat doesn't see that I'm packing because he gets all worked up and constipated to the point that I have to bring him to the vet for an enema. I swear to god this cat is like having a kid but worse.   This weekend I'm also going to organize all my owner's manuals for everything. I'm like my mother anything that I buy that comes with an owner's manual gets saved. Unfortunately for me, it's in a drawer no organization whatsoever. My dining room table has also turned into a catch-all for everything, I'm going to orgazine that this weekend too so that dbf and I can start eating meals there instead of in front of the TV.   I guess that's really all to report, I'm getting so boring! But hey, sometimes I have nuggets of advice lol.
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What A Beautiful Day Yesterday!

Yesterday it was absolutely beautiful in my neck in the woods! So, I decided to start week 3 of c25k at the local outdoor track at the middle school. I did pretty good had to stop a couple of times, but I had the worse headache towards the end. I realized it's because I was tensing up my neck and shoulders and basically grinding my teeth. You run completely different when you're on a treadmill vs when you are off (well I know I do!) but the workout went by quick and it was just a wonderful way to enjoy the weather! And of course today is rainy lol.   Work today is a little crazy it seems like no one knows what they are doing (ie doctor's offices) it's like I'm holding their hands, and this isn't their first rodeo lol.   Tonight after work I'm going to make my baked falafels and General Tso's tofu and then figure out what I'm going to eat next week for breakfast lunch and dinner. I'm not going to lie I'm going to be in "vacation mode" that I may just lean cuisine the week lol. Well, we'll see. I have a TON of chicken recipes but I don't eat chicken anymore. I found these Quorn brand chicken cutlets, they are completely vegetarian, so I think I'm going to try to see how my chicken recipes taste with the Quorn "chicken". Yeah, I think I'll do that for dinner. Lunch may be a lean cuisine lol.   Also I have never made recipes off the top of my head and I did the other day with my crustless quiche, and it tastes interesting---a little watery?? IDK the quiche I did the week before tasted a lot better may do that one again next week.   Well I guess that's all to report today. Hope everyone has a great day!
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Monday Is Back

Well we made it to Monday. This was a tough Monday because of Daylight Savings Time. Totally forgot to replace the batteries in my smoke detector. It's on my grocery shopping list now!   This weekend was pretty hectic. After I got out of work, I walked with a group of women that I take the train with from my job to the train station, which is probably about 1/2 mile walk it's just in a dangerous neighborhood--safety in numbers. I wasn't out of breath and walking a lot faster than the other two lol.   I got home, showered, changed went to the dbf house. We went to the mall I had to pick up some body wash and other things at Bath and Body Works (my favorite store in the mall!) for my vacation later this month. After that dbf wanted to cook for me, but we were both too tired, I treated him to sushi down the street.   Now we go to this sushi restaurant ALL THE TIME this is always my test to see if I have real restriction, alas this time, I could eat sushi, but I was full quick. But, wait let me get to the best part of this story....   The last time I was there I ordered Ketel One and cranberry juice, the woman who made them poured the drinks perfectly. One and I was good. We get seated and asked what we want to drink dbf asks for coke I ask for "ketel one and cranberry". The waiter comes back with a drink menu for frozen drinks and asks "do you want one of these instead?" uh, no I'm good. I go "all you have to do is pour Ketel one into a short glass with some ice and a splash of cranberry juice" I said this in a NICE way. Then I asked for water too because I had a feeling there was a large language barrier here. Five minutes later the waiter comes up and says "we don't have any vodka" I say "what kind of vodka do we have?" he goes "no vodka at all" seriously????? So I ask for a water again. Needless to say it took 5 times to get water for me, and by then I didn't want it bc I don't drink when I eat.   I ordered edamame and this crab salad I'm obsessed with, one thing of shrimp tempura and some sushi. I didn't get stuck, but the band is still there. LOL. So I'm hoping next fill will get me into the "green zone". I paid for our dinner, left a horrible tip (the service sucked!) and as we are leaving the restaurant, there is the bar and guess what is there? KETEL ONE! I hate being lied to! My poor dbf I thought he was going to die laughing. I was pissed. Oh well, maybe next time.   Saturday morning I went to the gym to complete week 2 of c25k (week 3 starts today oh boy) did some laundry, then got ready to go out to dinner with my dbf my friend and her husband. We went to this Mexican restaurant in town, which is way too expensive for what they serve. I felt so bad for my dbf he asked for a taco plate and they bring out these three mini tacos. There really wasn't a lot of food. We had shots of tequila, there killed my appetite. I had shrimp and scallop cerviche wasn't that great.....def won't be going back. Went out to play pool after had more drinks, after that the night was fuzzy......ugh.   Sunday we woke up to a crying cat who was HUNGRY! So we got up, I fed the cat, and we headed up the Newburgh, NY to meet my parents for brunch. My dbf, a smoker, was dying for a cigarette. We went to the truck stop near my house. I got a ton of Powerade Zero and a coke (I was hoping the bubbles would help induce some sort of vomiting----I know it's not good, but I had to throw up!). Ugh they had Easter candy out. I got two reese peanut butter eggs and a cadbury creme egg gosh darn Easter I hate it!   But on a good note, I drank the coke, didn't puke and realized how gross coke is. I used to drink it all the time, now I stay away from sodas.   We got to the diner, had brunch, well actually we all had lunch lol. I ordered a tuna melt and only ate 1 1/2 of the sandwich, didn't touch the fries I was surprised with myself. Maybe this is going to work out!   Got home from that, tried to make breakfast, lunch and dinner for the week. Got as far as breakfast. I'll work on lunch today after the gym (baked falafels) and just have a lean cuisine for dinner (I know they're horrible you don't have to tell me twice!)   Hope everyone had a good weekend!
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We Made It To Friday!!!

Well, Friday is here, and two weeks from now I'll be getting ready to go on vacation! Woo hoo!!! So excited about that. Oh yeah and I'll be getting my hair done too that day yay.   Yesterday after my vent things were fine, went home had dinner and decided next week when I make the general tso's tofu not to add that 1/4 cup of rice to the equation. Only the tofu and the broccoli bc the rice may come up next time lol.   Today I had an egg white omlette with veggies and cheese I'm going to see if that holds me over until dinner tonight. I did get some pink grapefruit for an afternoon snack. My md suggested this saying that since it's a fiberous fruit it'll take a while for your pouch and regular stomach to digest it making you feel fuller. Now if you're a noob don't try this until your dr. says it's okay I'm a little leery trying it today, I'll let you know how that goes lol. My ultimate goal is to at least skip one meal to help speed up my weight loss. I only lost a pound this week, that sucks, but I have been eating brown rice with dinner which is a no no.   This weekend is going to be busy. Tonight dbf and I are going to the mall he needs "retail therapy" I need to go to bath and body works to get some shower gel etc for vacation. I'm thinking something cocunut like lol. Saturday I'm going to the gym, cleaning the house, doing laundry, going to try to get a manicure and my eyebrows waxed (if this doesn't happen I'll do it next week). Saturday night we're going out with a friend of mine and her husband to a new Mexican restaurant in town and then go play some pool and darts afterward. Sunday we are driving up to Newburgh, NY to meet my parents for brunch (this will be the first time the dbf has met my dad....yikes!) and I can give them stuff to bring to Florida since they're driving.   Well I guess that's all have a good weekend everyone!
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Today's A-Ha Moment

The reason I've become obsessed with my weight loss and excercise is because it's the only thing I can control in my life.....   For example:   I rent, instead of signing a lease for another year in February, because I was SOOOO optimistic that my dbf and I were going to be moving in together this year (more on that later) I told my landlords that I wanted to go month to month. Literally at any notice I have 60 days to move. They wouldn't do that, they love me, they always stop and visit (in a good way) and were actually upset when they found that I eventually may move lol.   My job: I've been working for the same company for 5 years, it's a large hospital it is in the process of buying another hospital in the same city, so my job is stable. In this economy though you never know if today is your last day at work.....   My relationship with dbf: things have been good, but he has his issues, mainly his mother and his roommate are holding him back from moving forward. Basically his mother is a financial drain to him and his excuse is "well she has cancer" not for nothing I know tons of people that have cancer, had cancer, died from cancer that worked, and had productive lives. Sure, they had bad days, and really bad days and downright s****y days, but they never asked anyone for anything. This woman just asked her son (my dbf) for 2000.00 to fix her car because she didn't pass emissions LAST YEAR! If it was me, I would've taken the car from her and told her to take the bus or ask me for a ride, but of course he didn't do that, he gave her the money. His roommate is a point blank b***h and the only reason she keeps him there is so that her dirtbag boyfriend doesn't have to pay half of the mortgage that my dbf does now. So as you can see there's no real true future with us when he has a mother to support and a troll under the bridge roommate. So basically this vacation away from him when I'm in Florida is going to be a love it or leave it decision with him and I and we shall see what happens.   So as you can see, I've been a little annoyed today. But, you know what I'm going to do with this negative energy? I'm going to work the mutha effer out at the gym because for me going to the gym angry motivates me.   I would like to end this on a positive note though it's beautiful and sunny out and I'm glad that I woke up alive!
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Delayed Restriction...yup I Haz It!

I got my last fill (a total of 2.75 ccs in a 4 cc band on February 27th). This morning actually just now, I had a crustless quiche (which is 1/4 of a pie plate about a cup total) it has eggs (duh) deli ham, swiss cheese and onions and yesterday I probably could've eaten more. Today right now at this moment if you put another slice in front of me I'd probably push it in your face and make you eat it (in a loving way though, because I love you whoever you are). So, yesterday when I was thinking "boy I don't feel restriction" to this morning of "holy crap I'm full" is a big differnce. So, the lesson is to you noobs and veterans out there, don't get discouraged, sometimes there is a delayed reaction for me it's approximately 8-9 days after a fill. I'm going to keep track of this next month as well.   Actually to think about it last night I had some homemade general tso's tofu, broccoli and brown rice, ate the whole thing, and the rest of the night had a pain in my shoulder and left side maybe that was a signal to stop eating, and trust me I didn't eat for the rest of the night, just a glass of water to clear out my pouch (IDK why I do this but I've been doing it lately lol).   I was a bad girl and didn't go to the gym yesterday, it was only for weights so I will do my weights tonight after c25k (grrr).   Oh and some NSV this weekend: Didn't eat my whole meal the times we went out to dinner
Fit into pants I didn't fit into in September
Realized that my bra straps that go around me don't hitch up and chafe my side parts, they actually lay nice and flat now
I don't buy junk food when I grocery shop and I grab a water out of the cooler at the supermarket and drink it while I shop (don't worry I pay for it!)
I can wrap a regular towel around my body when I get out of the shower (even though there's some side boobage showing
Also, whereas I thought I had some good luck yesterday turned out to be bad luck. I was looking at a vending machine near my office that has "healthy options" aka a 100 grand bar (really is that healthy???) and I see on the machine that there's a credit for $1.00 so I'm like "hey, pay it forward, right?" so I pick a granola bar (Nature Valley) OMG I looked at the nutritional info and almost died! I could've had a candy bar instead! I usually have a Kashi TLC granola bar thing right before I get out of work to hold me over between then and the gym (for some reason I'm starving late in the afternoon) I'll have this for a snack but never again! WTH do they put in that stuff?   Anyway lovelies, have a wonderful day and if anyone is paying attention only 17 days until I leave for Key West!
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Pictures

In December of 2011 a bunch of my friends and I went to NYC to go to Rockefeller Center and do the whole touristy NYC thing (I've lived literally an hour away from NYC my whole life and have never done anything touristy there! So if anyone wants to visit and needs a tour guide don't ask me, I have no clue!). So anyway, we took a picture of the four of us. That was when I was at the weight that I realized I gained 30 lbs since having my gall bladder taken out (314 lbs). The picture sits in my office. Every time I think about eating crap I look at my bloated face and think "nah, I don't need it, I worked too hard at this" also in my office is another picture of me taken 1 week before my surgery when I was at my highest weight (322 lbs) and another picture next to it when I was my lowest weight post op (250 ish?) these are just reminders for me not to put food in my mouth and to keep up with the fills, the workouts, eating right etc....because if I looked decent at 250 ish or so, imagine how I'll look when I'm at my goal weight (180 lbs).   I'm also a little worried because right now I have 2.75 ccs in a 4 cc band, and this is the most that has ever been in the band, and I can eat things and not feel true "restriction" granted I'm not hungry between meals but it's still scary. For example last night for dinner I had 1/2 c of general tso's tofu (homemade!!! Never made Chinese food before!) 1/2 cup of steamed broccoli and 1/4 c of brown rice. I ate everything except for a couple of bites of the brown rice. Something I'll have to bring up at my next mds appt.   On a personal note I have my 90 day review for my new position at my job, I hope I don't get demoted lol.   Week two of c25k is hard, I don't think I'm running fast enough. I think the next workout I'm going to try to amp up the treadmill to 5mph in the beginning until I can't stand it anymore. Going to the gym tonight to do some weights.   Have a good day!
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Weekends.....

This weekend was horrible as always food wise for me. But someone who I cannot stand put something into perspective, I have to thank her for that (the witch lol).   Friday was my usual day of egg white omlette, tuna sammy on multigrain, and then for dinner my dbf and I went out for Mexican. Hindsight is 50/50 after we went out to dinner on Friday I felt like crap but to think about it, it wasn't that bad. I had two margaritas chips and salsa, then shrimp enchiladas with no sauce it was basically shrimp wrapped up in corn tortilla (which I didn't eat) with some pico de gallo on it. I think the worse thing I ate was the chips and the margaritas lol.   Saturday sucked food wise. Sucked real bad. Not going to even go into it. But I have to say that I'm not eating as much as I did before. Especially when I'm drinking (margaritas again on Saturday night lol)   Sunday I was back to normal (yay!) I made my 3 meals for the next four days and I'm usually so busy with that and laundry that I forget to eat. All I had was a lean cuisine for dinner.   So anyway back to someone I don't like putting things in perspective. After dinner Saturday night we were all hanging out (me, my dbf, and his roommates, including the one I don't like) and I felt so bad about how I ate for dinner and she said to me "You eat so well during the week, that one day is not going to kill you. Also, you went to the gym today and ran that burns calories for hours!" So, it made me feel better not by much, but it did a little bit.   Also I learned to stay away from fried foods for now on, I think I went on a little overkill Saturday night and I felt like crap all day Sunday up until I went to bed. So, lesson learned friend pickles = the devil!   This is week 2 of c25k let's see if I survive tonight! I hope everyone who reads this had a good weekend and remember one day off the wagon is not going to kill you. I think for me, if one day turned into two then into a week I would have to put things in perspective but I guess the witch was right one day isn't going to kill me.
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Friday Is Here!

Well I finally made it to Friday! Nothing much to report. Back on solid foods today. Had my usual egg white omlette and it was soooo good and I actually feel quite satisfied with it. We'll see how long that lasts lol.   Plans for the weekend: Friday night dbf and I are getting together probably order take out watch a movie. Saturday morning going grocery shopping, doing laundry. Then I have my friend's son's birthday party at 5pm, then I have to go to dbf house again and go to his roommate's birthday dinner (I really can't stand her, and can I just say he spent WAY more on her birthday gift then he did on mine last year smh). Sunday I'll probably get my meals squared away for the next week. Breakfast is crustless quiche lorraine, lunch is baked falafels with tzaki sauce, dinner is lightened up general tso's tofu.   If I don't pop in on these boards this weekend have a great weekend everyone!
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Just Another Day

Yesterday was pretty uneventful. I did day two of c25k I really hate it, but I have to do it, I'm not giving up! I'm going to run around that darn airport next Easter (2013) if it literally kills me!   Still on mushies. Yesterday I had 1/2 cup of egg beaters and a 1/2 cup of corned beef hash for breakfast. For lunch I had two packs of the tuna salad to go (starkist? They're only like a 100 cals each) for dinner I had canned crabmeat with a little mayo and some cheese on top put it in the micro for like a crabmeat melt. I also had the same thing with tuna instead but I was still starving after my workout and my total caloric intake yesterday was low (844 with the tuna "melt" included). But after that I was feeling pretty full so that's a good sign (that I know isn't going to stay oh well lol)   My poor dbf got passed over for a promotion I feel so bad for him, because I've been there plenty of times. I just hope he pulls himself out of this funk   Nothing much new today, going to the gym tonight to do some more weights, fold some laundry. I know sooo exciting lol.   Have a good day and stay motivated!
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Mushies.....

Today I'm back on mushies yuck tomorrow mushies too lol. Yesterday went to the gym did some weight training nothing crazy just 5lb free weights see if I notice a difference in weight loss.   Nothing else really to report, suppossed to snow this afternoon into tomorrow a whole inch ohhhh so scary   What really annoys me lately is recipes with no nutritional info lol. But I just have to figure it out myself got to make a grocery list for next week. No more Chobani I'm sick of it! Maybe something with eggs like a crustless quiche IDK food is not that interesting to me any more.   Have a good day!
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Mds Appt Yesterday, C25K Start And Skinny Bucket List!

Yesterday I went to my lapband doctor for a fill. Now, I'm an old timer with a 4 cc band, so when I see you guys getting a whole cc in a fill I'm thinking to myself "lucky" before my fill yesterday I had 2.5 ccs in a 4 cc band. Today I now have 2.75 ccs in a 4 cc band. I asked why such small fills, and was told that it will make me keep coming back gotta love doctors lol. But on a good note, since my last doctor's visit I lost 7 pounds and am at 288 lbs. 8 lbs to where I was when I had my gall bladder taken out in September. I feel so good about that. The APRN asked what I did to lose the weight I told her "not put food in my mouth, excercise, and will power because I'm hungry". So for the rest of the day yesterday I was on liquids, had a protein shake and some soup. Today I'm on liquids (so far just coffee--hey it's a liquid!). Tomorrow and Thursday mushies and Friday back to my normal eating.   After the mds appointment I got home, got dressed for the gym and started the c25k program. I'm not going to lie I was out of breath, but from what I hear from other people on this forum that do c25k the next time it gets easier I sure hope so. I told my friend that I wanted to run a 5k next Easter, she told me an inspiring story about how her mom's friend was in a plane crash two years ago; had her legs and one arm amputated; now is being fitted for prosthetics and they want her to do a 5k next year as well. That right there is an inspiring story, mine is so insignificant to that. I will be rooting for her every step of the way.   Today I'm going to the gym to do some weight training on the upper body, nothing crazy. Just want to build some muscle and see if that revs up my metabolism. I mean 7 lbs a month is not bad, but I would like to lose about 10 lbs a month. Also when we go to Key West my dad and I are doing some serious fishing so I want to have some upper body strength to reel in a big one! Oh yeah, just checked my calender 25 days until vacation!   I saw on the forums this morning about a skinny bucket list. I think I have a few I want to jot down, and maybe one day look back and say "yup did them all". Here goes:   1) Go to Kleinfeld's in NYC to get my wedding dress and not shop from the plus size bridal line 2) Look proportionate to my friends 3) Be one of those people who love to run! 4) When I am a mother, be an active one. 5) Wear a two piece bikini 6) Get some sexy lingere, panties, bras etc (I like my stuff to match Lane Bryant does not lol) 7) Live a long, healthy life 8) Shop in any store in the mall 9) Borrow clothes from my friends   Well I guess that's all I can think of today. Hope everyone has a good day and stay positive!
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Would You Like Some Cheese With The Whine????

This morning I went on a rant in the forums about my Friday night. Now I'm over it, and I don't care. I finally broke down and called my mom and told her what happened. My mother, who grew up in the 1960's and was what the kids call today "straight edge" probably gave the best advice: "get over it, clubs have been doing this for years, they want a certain 'look' and if you don't fit that look either pay or go home" whoa mom! How do you even know about clubs in the first place? Actually she does my dad took my mom to a disco on their first date and proposed to her on the dance floor of a disco (picture John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever doing the hustle and saying "marry me Bonnie" lol) But I guess she was right, oh well it's their loss because I probably would have spent a lot of money there.   The rest of the weekend was alright. I slept most of Saturday made dinner for the dbf, which was a test for me, since I haven't eaten pasta since my last fill and guess what I can eat??? Pasta!!! What the heck?!?!?! My lapband doctor has me fill out a questionnaire before I fill to determine if I'm in the green zone. Here are some of the questions, and if you're a newbie or an old timer (like me) then maybe it could be questions you ask yourself time to time:   Are you throwing up? Nope If so how often? Can you eat meat? Yes Can you eat chicken? I hate chicken! Can you eat pasta? Yup Can you eat rice? Yup Can you eat bread? Yup Are you feeling hungry between meals? Yup Are you drinking at least 64 ounces of water a day? Yup Are you excercising? Yup   Then they ask what I ate the day before. Sundays for me are usually hit or miss. Yesterday I had a couple of tablespoons of leftover dip with some baked tostitos and a frozen dinner that's it. IDK what it is about Sundays but I don't eat that much.   Well that's all I'll let everyone know how it goes tomorrow with my fill
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Fill Fun On Monday!

I know I'm obsessing too much about things when I have dreams about them. The other night I had a dream that my boyfriend's roommate (who is a female, and don't worry her bf lives with them as well) went over to my boyfriend's mother's house to drink and my boyfriend decided he'd rather do that than hang out with me. Now he knows that his roommate bothers me (which she does, that could be a whole blog for another day) and it bothers me that I still haven't met his mother (but yet the roommate has, anyway, moving on, because who is really reading thing?)   So, last night I had a dream about getting a fill at my mds office, it was so realistic! It wasn't anything crazy, just a fill lol. But I know what is bothering me. I'm an old timer with a 4cc lap band implanted. Right now there is 2.5 ccs and I have been feeling some restriction until lately (for me, knowing there is no restriction is my stomach growling. I usually tell people that's not real hunger but that's bull$!*t and I'm sorry if anyone believed me). What if she puts in another cc on Monday and I still have no restriction? She is also measuring the saline by taking it out to see if any seeps out every month. What if there's a leak? OMG I need not to obsess about this!   Tonight is casino night. My one friend and I aren't staying over. Everyone is bringing their boyfriends or husbands. Mine can't go because he works on Saturdays. Also he is being a little cranky lately because he hasn't been able to sleep much. Saturday I'm going to clean, do laundry, and make dinner for the bf we'll probably just watch a movie. Sunday IDK what I'm going to do, but that's my fabulous weekend.   Also I would like to announce that officially on Monday I'm going to start c25k and also some weight training I was going to put if off until March, but what's one week early going to do? Kill me? Well if you don't hear from me Tuesday morning you know the answer lol.   Have a good weekend
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One Day Closer To Friday

Nothing new to report here from my neck of the woods. Totally unmotivated to go to the gym yesterday, but I did it, brisk walk on the treadmill for a half hour and I was sweating, sore today. Going back to the gym again tonight.   This weekend is going to be tough. Tomorrow night is my friend's birthday party at the casino--so nervous about that and what/how I'm going to eat. My two best girlfriends who are going (one is the birthday girl the other is another good friend) know that I have the lapband so they don't think it's odd how I eat, but the tradition is the day after our night of festivites we go to a diner and get food. Usually I get an omlette with cheese, mushroom, and all the fixins'. I think this time it'll be an egg white omlette with veggies a little cheese and fruit. Saturday night the bf wants shrimp scampi think I can handle 4 oz of shrimp and a little pasta, but I still get so worried. Sunday my friend wants us to come to her house for birthday cake, but I think I'm going to pass since Monday I'm going for a fill and with my luck the scale won't move   I totally b*$#)!d the other day that I lost only 1.5 lbs in a week, when I looked back at my blog and read about all the crap I ate, 1.5 lb loss is actually pretty darn good. Pat on the back for me!   I already planned out my meals for the next couple of weeks. For breakfast I found a Mexican Breakfast Casserole on the Allergan lap-band website. For lunch I'm going to make baked falafels, and make like a half sandwich with a sandwich thin, put a little hummus on there and lettuce and falafels. Dinner I'm going to try a recipe for general tso's tofu.   Browsing these forums the other day, a member asked what the deal is the obsession with food post op? For me, it's not "oh my god I can't wait to try that" it's "wow this is healthy, it's high in protein and it's going to taste way better than the crap I used to eat" if that's a bad obsession, then I'm a bad person I used to eat in the cafeteria here at work all the time, and it was always bad things. Now I bring in my breakfast and lunch I save money, calories, and in the long run my health. The only time I go to the cafeteria is on Fridays and I always get my egg white omlette for breakfast and my tuna sandwich on a multi grain bread (which I can only eat half of lol).   Anyway enough rambling, work has to be done, thanks so much for reading and the support on these forums, I hope myself and everyone else we can meet our goals one small (or large) pound at a time!  
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Hump Day!

Happy Wednesday everyone! Happy to report that the cat is fine, he was a little constipated now he's back to eating like an obese kitty lol.   I thought I would eat chobani every day for the rest of my life, not going to lie I'm a little tired of it. Going to try some new breakfast recipes to bring to work.   I found a recipe online to make crock pot falafels I'm definetly going to make those for lunch in a couple of weeks, cannot wait to try them I love falafels!   Does anyone pinterest? I discovered it yesterday and I'm in love!!!!!   Down 1.5 lbs from last week, at first I was pissed off, but then I realized after I ate like crap all weekend, 1.5 lbs is not that bad!   Well that's all to report, thanks for reading, and thanks for the support
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Feeling Some Sort Of Way

Usually I'm very positive, today I'm feeling like such a debbie downer, my cat hasn't really eaten that much today, which worries me. Then at work, complete strangers are just plain rude to me (and I'm not a rude person at all, but I guess my sunny disposition really pissed them off. I'm almost at the point of finishing up my work for tomorrow and calling it a day today (boy the migraine excuse might work because I feel one coming on lol).   I just want to make sure my Buddy (the cat) is okay. He ate something, just not as much as he usually does, I gave him a treat before he left which he ate, so at least he's eating something, I don't know.   Keep me and Buddy in your prayers today it's going to be one of those days.....
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Weekend Roundup

Ohhhh I was such a bad bandster this weekend I'm not going to even get into it, started with margaritas (4 of them) Friday night and went sort of downhill from there. I realized that I cannot take a vacation from eating right, but I also realize on the weekends I don't eat like I normally do (three meals a day 5 hours apart) and that's where the trouble starts.   New goal for this weekend: FREAKING EAT MAN!   Saturday was quite busy. I went to my local day spa and got my first Brazilian, not for anything special but because it was time for Andrea to put her big girl pants on and stop cutting myself in my lady bits, and it does not hurt! Everyone told me it was the most painful thing, oh come on, getting my eyebrows waxed hurt!   After that I went to Aldi's, which I used to not shop at because I only liked high quality foods (ie Trader Joe's Whole Foods) now to be honest with you I don't give a crap what I eat in regards to the quality, I'm so not into food anymore. I just make sure it's dense protein and my daily calories are around 1000/day and 60-80 grams protein/day. For two weeks worth of groceries, I only spent 57 bucks at Aldi's (which is dirt cheap in Connecticut) after that I went to Big Y and got my cat food, and whatever I couldn't find at Aldi's for another 40 bucks worth, so I have to say for grocery shopping for two weeks of food for me and my cat under 100 bucks is awesome!   On the way to my dbf house, I forgot to get a V-day gift, so I stopped at Gamestop to pick up a gift card, well while walking to the store (this is what I get for parking so far away) my bra strap breaks! So I have to walk in there with one perky boob and one droopy boob and I'm just like "hurry up, I got to get a bra!" so I go next door to Dots (which is like a hoochie mama clothing store, honestly though I buy clothes from there that aren't hoochie mama, but you know) and get a bra, which the boyfriend loved, and I'm like "this is not sexy this is out of necessity lol". What a day   That night dbf and I went for sushi for a belated V-day dinner, I was so worried that I was going to get sushi stuck, but alas I did not (I really don't want to eat sushi, I love it so much, that I want to be restricted enough just to eat sashimi because I could eat those darn rolls all day!). At the restaurant they had this crab salad that I devoured and I think that was the most I ate, also shrimp tempura ::hides:: I'm hoping by my next fill I will only be able to eat sashimi, fingers crossed!   Sunday morning, dbf brought breakfast in bed, mmmm those eggs were salty lol. Didn't finish eating those. Went home later, and made my dinner for the week (beefy tortilla soup with an extra can of kidney beans for protein) in my crock pot. Then I was so un motivated from cooking that I had a lean cuisine for dinner ::hides again::   I also tried to figure out what a 4 mile run would be from my house to wherever (my previous post, if you didn't read, was my goal to run a 5k next year) my friend who runs them told me once I get the endurance to run 4 miles since it's a little more than a 5k, so the 5k will be easy. So I drove two miles and holy crap that's a long distance, but I'm going to do it!!!!   OH OH OH! One more thing, I bought two big things of plain Chobani yogurt and a ton of mix ins, so today's Chobani flavor goes as such: 1 cup of 0% Chobani with 1 T sugar free white chocolate instant pudding mix 1 T Torani white chocolate syrup (sugar free duh) and 1 T sugar free rasberry preserves.....YUM!   Tomorrow I'm going to mix in Coconut Torani and some canned pineapple for a pina colada. Sounds good, no?   Well time to get to work, thanks so much for reading, everyone stay motivated, and if you had a bad weekend like me, remember today is a new day, be accountable, get moving and DON'T GIVE UP!   XOXO,   Andrea
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