Isn’t amazing how your relationship with food and excess weight consumes you. I don’t know about anybody else but it seems that my health has become my full time job. So in essence I work two full time jobs.
In other news, I have to count my blessings. When I look at some of the struggles other bander’s have had and look at the bmi’s that you’ve been able to battle back from and it’s just amazing. You’re all a tremendous inspiration on this journey and I wan t to thank you.
I'm anxious, I'm anxious. I suspect that is how it will be until I have the surgery and possibly beyond. I've spoken with my surgeon and I'm going to have the surgery sometime in September. I have to wait until September because that's when the money will be available. I'm self pay and my boyfriend is loaning me a good portion of the money.
My surgeon has spoken with my primary care provider and they are both working very well together to set up my pre-surgery testing. He's very thorough and so is she. I love them both. Neither judges people and they simply want to help you be the best person you can be.
My home situation is rough right now for many reasons. Some I can't control and other problems that I need to be better about understanding what role I play with them.
Food is always tough for me. Essentially I love it. It tastes good. However I'm slowly allowing it to assassinate me. I could go back to the when and wheres of when I became obese as a child and what I've done as an adult to combat it but we all go through the same roller coaster of losing and gaining, being in control and then feeling like we're starving until we lose all control. For the last 10-15 years I have always exercised regularly and I feel confident that this will be a big help for me as I rebuild my health. I have concerns that I will "miss" my current relationship with food. I think that's normal. We are like any addict that needs treatment.
I have concerns that I will not have enough support after surgery. Family, friends, partners, they all intend to be supportive and there for you however I feel that it may be short lived and that they do not truly understand the magnitude of the change. My bf always likes to eat out, when I want to tell him no, I feel like I'm depriving him of enjoyment and I am secretly allowing him to encourage my over-eating. I know he doesn't see it that way, he's not the addict, I am. The house I currently live in is filled with garbage food. Processed food, sugary food, fatty food etc. I feel like bull dozing it and starting over but it's not my home and how do you impose your lifestyle on others? He would eat healthy with me if it was just us but I feel that other people who live there would never even try. I could explain that's it's poisoning their children and grand children but I'm pretty sure it would be a lost conversation. Who am I to preach, I'm the addict.
So for now I've resigned myself to the fate of the fact that I may have to be an island or get my support from others in the same boat. Surely there are others out there just like me
Forgive me for venting but a lot of people simply want to treat LapBand as a product they've bought and plugged in. It's suppose to work right????? My insurance paid for it and the doctor said it works! All those ads said it worked. It isn't working for me, I have the reciept can I take it back for a refund?
The band is simply a piece of medical grade plastic. You will in fact have to get up off of your butt and exercise. You will in fact have to pay attention to what you are eating. If you have not come to the conclusion that there will still be a LOT of work for you to do after the band is placed and healed then you should not get the band.
So many stories on here where people don't know why their not losing weight except they can't tell you what they're putting in their mouth and they can't tell you the last time they walked farther than from their car to the front door. This is not a miracle cure. If you were hoping for that - move on.
Sorry - just had to get it out of my system.
I feel a little jealous at all of the bandsters who have had insurance pay for their band. Weight Loss surgery was a direct exclusion on my plan per the request of my employer. It pisses me off that they will pay to treat my diabetes, arthritis etc which is a direct result of my weight but they won't cover the surgery. The insurance world is sooooo screwed up. But I've determined that the rest of my life is worth far more than the price of a used car so I will be paying for it and deducting it on my taxes.
I have know for a while that I would not be able to have the surgery until September simply because I would not have the money in hand to do it, but I swear these two months seem like two years. I have most of my pre-op labs on 8/26/11. I'm lucky in the respect that my PCP is fantastic. She is able to do everything from the blood tests, pre-surgery clearance, EKG AND Psych eval in office. I love her! The only thing she can't do is the esophagram and I'll have that done at a local hospital. She has been one of my biggest supporters with regards to getting banded.
I feel like my world is on hold. Like I'm in limbo. Suspended in mid-air. Like a quarterback who is forever waiting for the snap. Like a DVD player on pause. Lets just be real honest, I'm not a person with a whole lotta patience anyway.
