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Continuing the journey

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Progress takes some time...

I am the type of person that wants instant gratification. Breaking my mentality has been a bit difficult, but I am getting there. Sunday I did well eating, Monday was eh, Tuesday decent, and Wednesday alright. Thursday I went into my Dr. for a fill and had gained 8 pounds since I last went (I think I was there 2-3 months ago). He put 3cc's in my band since I am starting fresh. I have been on liquids since Thursday. My Dr. has you on liquids the day of and 3 days after. Then 3 days of soft foods and then back to healthy eating habits. The Lord has blessed me with strength to keep at it. The soups are shakes are tiring now though, so I am excited tomorrow is my last day. I have not weighed myself for two reasons 1) I don't want to see progress and then make an excuse to go back to my old ways and 2) I don't want to have not made progress (or what I think progress should be) and give up. In time my self control will strengthen (with God's help) and I will be able to weigh 1-2 times a week, but not now.   I also ventured into working out. Since I am leaving in a month I joined Curves since I feel it is less intimidating than bigger gyms. I had my first workout today and it made me sweat more than I thought. The person that set me up took basic info, measurements, weight, and goals. When she asked me my goals I was surprised at what I even said. I said I would like to lose 7-10 pounds before I leave, be able to bend down and paint my toes, and fit comfortably in an airplane seat. She was glad my goals were something absolutely measurable and not all about the number on the scale. I plan to workout 5-6 days a week (30 minutes a day). It is a start and she was pleasantly surprised at how "movable" and flexible I am at my weight (I had to tell her that I was once an athlete).   All in all many changes this week, but I am happy about them. I am heading in the right direction for success. Lord willing I will lose 2 pounds by next Thursday. That is my goal for right now (and to workout 5-6 days).
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Ready, but not ready at the same time

I am ready for my weight to decrease, but am I really ready to change my habits? For months now I have woke up many mornings saying this is the day I start new, and by lunch I am back into my old habits. What continues to draw me there? Comfort. Change is hard and part of me feels that it should be easier. I was blessed with the short and "fluffy" gene can't I get a break!? The reality is no. If I want things to change I have to change my thoughts and actions. Easier said then done, but doable.   Tomorrow I embark on part 2 of my weight-loss journey. I have not stuck to eating how I am supposed to for months. Since I was recently told that I am insulin resistant I know how I am supposed to eat, but I am choosing not to. There goes that free will pride kicking in. But now I am tired. Tired of waking up sluggish, not being able to paint my toes, and being winded doing basic things. I want my life back and I am upset at myself that I allowed myself to go back to this place( 10 pounds away from what I was when I had surgery). It is not a good place and I need to get a grip. My wake up call came when I saw this picture.   All I could say was WOW! I knew I gained weight, but seeing ourselves everyday doesn't always show us the full picture. Seeing the picture hurt me. It was what I needed. A reality check. Time to get back to business and use this band the way it is intended to be. Some people take things a day at a time, but I am starting small and taking it an hour at a time. When those feelings of loneliness, boredom, and anxiousness kick in I have to do something else other than eat. Food has been my comfort ad we have had a VERY long relationship, but it is time that we break up! Here's to a new beginning!
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