I went this morning for my pre-surgery work up and met with a NP. My surgery is scheduled for 6:45 AM Monday October 3. I have to be to the hospital by 6AM and should be out of there by noon. Worries me a little about the pain medication. I have asked several times about when I would get my prescription for it. I had read in other places that some groups have you pick it up at this appointment so that you don't have to deal with filling it after the surgery. The nurse assured me that my pain would be taken care of.
Tomorrow I go to my own doctor to be cleared by him. I will need to pick up my out of work slip from him and will be out for a month. Trying to get my ducks all in a row at work so that my desk is clear before I head out on Friday. I have an extended leave form that I will need to fill out when I get back from the doctors and I will need to hand the slip in.
I need to check the schedule and I am hoping for a support group meeting this Thursday.
I have my Green hospital ID band on now, and cannot take it off till after surgery. One more day closer to my surgery.
Today went much better. The surgeon apologized for the confusion and asked what I took out of the original appointment. I talked about everything he said to me the line backer build, the BMI scale and what he feels is considered healthy for me. He says when he was talking about that stuff, he was talking about my goals after surgery, to not set unrealistic goals for myself, that he did not mean that I should not have surgery.
My insurance approved the surgery. I went and had my additional blood gas test done. The surgery is set for the 3rd. I go in for my pre-surgery work on the 27th, I see my doctor on the 28 for his pre-op clearance. It is full steam ahead at this point.
I met with the surgeon. He does not think I need the surgery. He says based on my weight loss so far and my "line backer" build he does not think that I really have much more to lose and I could do that with out the band. He says that if I still want the surgery he would do it, but he wants me to think about it. He says that based on being a male of my build I could be healthy at a BMI of 30. I started at 42, I am currently at 35.
I am so freaking confused.
I have a couple of things going on tomorrow. After begin with my surgeons practice for 2 months, I am finally going to be sitting down with him for the first time. beyond the his this is Dr P and he shook my hand and said nice to meet you. I also meet with the dietician for the first time. I believe that after tomorrow they will submit my information to the insurance company. Keeping fingers crossed.
Also tomorrow I am going to small claims court to fight my tax assessment on my house. Wish me luck, say a prayer or cross your fingers. What every you want to do.
When I started this journey I was wearing 4x Scrubs at work. I had shrunk down to wearing 3x scrubs, but lately I noticed that thet were lose one me. When I picked up my 5 sets of scrubs today from the uniform room here at work I asked for 2X. I am wearing them now. YAY
So today started with the gym back on to the elliptical runner. Better day today, no homophobic comments today, but it was later in the day then yesterday. Multiple appointments today.
First appointment was with the second part of my psyche evaluation. It really wasn't anything. He just took the time of my appointment to write up my paperwork from my initial visit. He gave me a copy of the letter that will be sent off to the insurance company that says that I am a good candidate.
Second Appointment was my weigh in for the week. I am down 5 pounds from last week. The scheduling clerk continues to be a PIA. I asked to schedule all my weigh ins until my surgery. You would of thought I asked this woman to rip out her fingernails. The weigh in nurse had to tell her that she could do that. I have met my goal weight for the bariatric group. I have surpassed the goal weight for my insurance company.
Third appointment was with a pulmonary doctor. My blood gas came back low. He thinks it is because I am over eight. No duh. But now they are making me do another test. a 6 minute walk with arterial blood gas test.
Another step closer to my surgery.
It is too dark now in the morning to get a ride in before work. I am more of a morning person and tend to hit the hay early so I do not like to go work out after work. I went back to the gym near my house. Everything was fine did my time on the elliptical. Went into the locker room to shower and get changed. Now I remember one of the reasons I stopped going to the gym. The homophobic comments ran rampant between these 3 guys. Why is it that straight men have to make gay jokes in front of each other when they are naked? I guess it is to try to prove to one another that they are not gay when seeing each other naked. I think if this continues I am going to speak up.
Things are going haywire at work. Another therapist broke their arm and will be out for 6-8 weeks. I have yet to talk to my boss if this means I need to postpone my tentative surgery date of 10/3/11. This kind of sucks. They are freaking out because there is also another therapist who's wife is due any day. Had to take today off to take my mom to a doctor's appointment this morning then I need to go to my own appointment this afternoon. I was asked if there was anyway I could come in between appointments to help today. My work drives me crazy at times. Sorry I am just venting. I decided I was going forth with my surgery and now this is another block in the way. I guess I will know better tomorrow when I am back at work.
I am sure everyone hits this point. I am full of doubt. So far I have lost about 40 lbs on my 3 month pre-op diet plan. At this rate(if I do not hit a plateau I will lose another 20-30 pounds) putting me half way to my goal. Now hits the worry, do I really want to put myself through this surgery. A lot of this started when I had my psyche eval last week. He assigned me homework. I needed to find a study on the success/failure rate of lap band surgery. I need to print it out and bring it with me to my next session. So far what I have found has not been promising. My partner is now asking me to not do the surgery as I am losing weight and I should just continue to diet to lose the weight. I know that he is worried about any type of surgery being performed and that is his reason behind it. He told me that whatever I decide he will support. I had someone that I told at work tell me the same thing yesterday. I have never really had a problem losing weight when I put my mind to it, the problem has always been keeping the weight off. I am so confused and torn.
Did the first part of my psych evaluation. He told me I am a good candidate as my life has stability and that I have a good support system. On the downside one of my respiratory test the AGS did not come back that great so now I have to see a Pulmonary doctor, has me a little nervous. The bariatric group is going to call me next week once the appointment is set up to let me know who, when and where I need to go. I am hoping it has more to do with my size and my fat pushing up on my diaphragm causing my low level of oxygen in my blood, if that is true then more of a reason to be approved for the surgery by my insurance. They told me that it will have no bearing on the tentative date of my surgery.
Thisis my week of pre-op appointments. Planned them all during my vacation. I went to my second support meeting on Monday night. It was a muchbetter meeting then my first. More people, it started on time and I foundit more helpful. It as recommended picking up Weight Loss Surgery forDummies so I got that today. About half way done, so far so good. It hasbeen very informative. I go for my psyche evaluation tomorrow. Notsure exactly what to expect but the evaluation is spread out over 2 appointments. One bonus today I only had 1 co-paymentfor the entire day. Also found outthat I will not have to pay a co-payment for each weekly weigh in. I lost 20 pounds since my initial visitwith the Bariatric group on July 5th, down 35 pounds since I saw mydoctor in June. I havereached the 5% weight loss requirement of my insurance company. Still ticks me off that the group doesnot count the first 15 pounds lost. But in another 10 pounds I will reach their required 10% from my initialweigh in with them. I have myappointment with the surgeon the first week of September. I imagine after that visit everythingwill be submitted to the insurance company.
Starting this past Friday I started vacation. Not going anywhere, but have some projects around the house to get done. Today I organized and cleaned out the closet. I got rid of some ripped, stained and out of date clothes. I also bagged up my clothes this past winter when I was at my heaviest. I put away 3x shirts and 46 waist pants. Now what do I do with them? They say you should get rid of your big clothes as you lose weight so as to give you an incentive to not grow back into them. I have yoyo'd for many years and have XL shirts and 38 waist pants that I get slim down to before I have to start buying new clothes. My cheap practical side says to keep them. My partner says keep them a year and then get rid of them.
Also this week I have my pre-op testing and my psyche evaluation. They are going to introduce me to my pre-op medifast plan this week and let me know how often I have to go in for weigh ins. I hope to get a few bike rides in as the weather permits.
Been a few weeks since I blogged, but not much has happened except that I broke 290. Still in my pre-op period. From my initial visit with my doctor(June 9th) for my letter of medical necessity I am down 25 pounds. I have met the insurance company's weight loss of 5% in a 2 month period. I am down around 13 pounds from my Bariatric appointment on July 5th(though it is hard to tell I was fully clothed at that appointment and when I weight myself at home it is usually after I get out of the shower). I have gone from a tight 46 size waste pant to fitting comfortable in a 44 although they are a little loose. I think in another 10 I should be able to get back to my 42's. I can button the 42's at this time but they are a bit tight. I have also gone from a 4X scrub to a 3X scrub at work. Not sure when I will be ready for the 2 X scrub. I imagine not till after my surgery.
I am still in my pre-op period. I have a lot of stuff scheduled for the week of August 8th and will have my next support group meeting. My bosses are being great and supportive. They have allowed me to change my work schedule on weigh in days that will start on August 19th. I will only have to take a half hour off to get to those appointments on time. I have enough comp time built up to cover that time. They have also approved me to be off for the month of October. My doctors group prefers a 2 week time off from work and at that point allow for 20 lb lifting restrictions. After 4 weeks there are no weight lifting restrictions. I can only return to work when I have no weight lifting restrictions. There is no light duty at my job unless you are hurt on the job.
I have been able to exercise and to be honest I do feel better when I exercise. I did have to hold off when we had the heat wave for fear of passing out when riding my bike, but now that it has passed I am out on it. I have a 10 mile route that I have mapped out that starts from my house and only puts me on busy roads for a short period of time.
So the first support group meeting. First I go to the wrong place. I thought it was the auditorium that they held the orientation in at Ellis Hospital. So I get there. There is a huge buffet. I thought how cruel, what a way to treat the bandsters. Then someone gives see my strange look at tells me it is a meeting for the doctor's of the hospital. I think I have the wrong night after racing over. I then get back to my car and look at the paper work. The date was right, the spot was right. OOPS what is the Ellis Health Center. I forgot they merged with St Clairs, it turns out that is where the meeting was. I get there 20 min late, but the moderator was over 45 min late. The first meeting went well a mix of newbies like me, a few long time band people. Will be going to the one in August.
I am going to my first lap band support group meeting tonight. I am glad that the office is seperating out band from bypass. Looking forward to meeting some people in person and hearing how they are doing. The office requires 2 meetings prior to scheduling the surgery. they offer 1 band only group, and there are 2 combined group meetings a month as well.
So I am now at the age my father was when he passed away, it feels a little strange. He passed from Cancer, not complications of obesity. I mark events in my life like this. When I hit 30 if felt strange. It was the age that my youngest sister passed from Cancer. Cancer is too prevalent in my family (I think even if I wanted kids, I would adopt or use a sperm donor) I guess it is my NY personalty. If Goth existed when I was in high school, I probably would of been a goth kid. I received my list of pre-op testing appointments. Boy August 10 will be a busy day. Not too mention the liquid diet or their lean and Green diet will start that day. I am thinking the lean and green diet. I am currently following a counting calories mentality for losing weight. I had my "last supper" yesterday. It was more like a last pig out on my birthday. All temptation is going to be removed from the house. Later I am going grocery shopping to get my groups approved diet food. High protein, low carb. Good bye breads and fruits. Who knew fruits were so evil. I love my fruits(no gay pun intended ) . I need to do this, I need to get my addiction under control. I need to see 52 and 62 not just 42.
Had my first appointment with the bariatric care center. Met a nurse, the PA who I will see most. It is the PA that does the fills. I met the surgeon briefly and my coordinator. My coordinator says that I have one of the best insurance in our area. I am tentatively scheduled for surgery on October 3. I have to undergo a gall bladder ultrasound, pulmonary test, upper GI.... the group is setting up those appointments. I have to schedule my psych appointment I will also have an appointment with the nutritionist before the surgery and be taught more about the special pre-surgery diet that I need to do for a month before the surgery. It can either be liquid of their own mean and green diet. I will also meet with the surgeon again for a more in-depth consultation. What sucks is that the 15 pounds I already lost do not count even though they are listed in my doctor's letter for the insurance company. I need to lose 30 pounds in the next 3 months. I know can do it, especially if I could lose 15 pounds in the last month.
Tomorrow is the initial appointment at the doctor's office. I am both excited and nervous. Tomorrow is the day they decide if I am a candidate I have filled out all the paperwork, but they still ask me to be there a half hour early. I wonder how long it will be? I do know that I will not be meeting with the surgeon, but the PA, not sure who else I will be seen by. I will go to my first support meeting next monday. The group requires a 10% weight loss and 2 support group meetings before your surgery can be scheduled. The PA will be the one I actually see the most based on the orientation meeting. The PA would be the one doing the fill after the surgery. The group is a group of excellence. I think I will need an ambien to sleep tonight.
A very difficult week end. As of Wednesday it was decided after discussing with my Vet that we should have my cat Seven put to sleep. She has 2 extra toes on each front paw, hence the name. Seven was never a lap cat but she always wanted to be near me, laying down next to me or above me on the back of the couch when she could still make it up there. When she would sit up on the couch she would tap my shoulder with her paw when she wanted to be petted. This past winter Seven starting missing jumps. She would miscalculate and did not have the strength to make them. I had to start picking her up. He hips became so painful that she could not step into the litter box. There was no fracture, no dislocation, just most likely severe arthritis. Combining this with several other health issues her quality of life became severely restricted. To watch your cat try and jump and fall became so sad. She was no longer the kitty that I had of even a year ago. So I tried to make her last few days as good as possible, picking her up and putting her in her favorite spots. Letting her eat as much soft food as she wanted, giving her, her favorite treats. I tried to use some of her favorite toys with her to play, but she did not play. That made me know that I made the right decision.
My partner and I were in the room with her. I was petting her when she took her last breath. We stayed with her for a few minutes afterwards. I am waiting to hear when her ashes are ready. I have spot picked out to bury her ashes in one of my flower gardens.
My younger cat Cooper is lost. He continues to look for her. He is sleeping in what was her favorite spot to sleep. I am trying to give him as much attention as he can tolerate. I am trying not to overwhelm him. I can tell he is in mourning for her. I know it is just a matter of time for us to get past this. I am hoping that burying her ashes will help.
Tomorrow is my orientation day, Since I saw my primary I have lost 9 pounds of the 32 that I am required by my insurance company.
The blood work did not come back good for my cat. After a discussion with the Vet it has been decided that we will have her put down on Saturday. It will allow us time to say good bye and make her last few days good ones. She has been living in pain and the look in her eyes that she gives me. She is not that same cat that she was last year. She can not make jumps; she walks like she is drunk. Trying to give her medicine is stressing her out too much. It will be a sad couple of days.
One step closer. I pick up my letter from the doctor on the way home from work today. Thursday is orientation night. From my discussion with the receptionist, they will schedule the first appointment with the doctor in 5 days of the meeting. I am thinking that means they will call me to schedule the appointment within 5 days if the meeting. That always confuses me. I am sure a lot more of my questions will be answered on that night.
The day started with a 10 mile bike ride through the back roads of my town. It was
Beautiful. I then had to take my older cat to the vet. She is not doing well @14 years of age. She has bad hips and possibly diabetes. The doctor said she is in a lot of pain and possibly had seizures last week end. She walks like she is drunk and no longer jumps. She is started on pain meds today hopefully the hips get better through the week. If not next weeks check up will be her last vets visit. .
I wrote this several days ago and posted it on my other Blog
Have you ever been ridiculed, have you ever been embarrassed. The last 15 years of my life has been very difficult, and I am not asking for anyone's sympathy but I just want it to be known. I know that I have no one to blame but myself. Addictions run in my family on both sides and I have an addictive personality. I am addicted to food. I have lost 2 sisters; my marriage broke up, one of my best friends passed away. I always turned to food for solace. In that time I have probably lost the same amount of weight that I currently weigh. I have 5 different size pants in my closet and 3 different sizes of shirts. I have exercised, done weight loss challenges, used Xenical, done the South Beach diet and starved myself.I no longer can ride rides at the amusement park, I can no longer fit in booths at restaurants. I have to shop in the big and tall stores. I need the extension belt when I am riding a plane also I cannot fit in the exit aisle seats. My knees kill me, I have problems going down stairs, and my back bothers me at times. My doctor tells me that one of the reasons I have reflux is due to my weight.
I need to get healthier, I need to get smaller. If I want to live more then the next 10 years I need to do this. Part of what is spurring it on is I will turn the age my father died at in exactly 1 month from today. Again I know I have no one to blame but myself and I am trying to get better.
I blogged for a while previously on Live Journal under the name AndybearNY, but it has been awhile. I have started to blog again over there and I will be cross blogging between the 2. The title is the same for both blogs
Many things cross my mind as I start the process of the new me. I have less than 1 week now till the orientation meeting. I am the type of person that puts the cart before the horse. I know I have a long road ahead of me and I am not even approved. I have started working out and started to diet. But then I wonder should I be doing this? From what I understand the group I go to requires a 10% weight reduction prior to scheduling the surgery. Is that 10% based on when I was weighed at my primary's office the day he referred me to the group, or is it based on the weight that I am when I have my appointment with the bariatric doctor.
I always push myself too hard and I am also the hardest on myself. An example of this would be my bike ride. My first 2 days on the bike I did 30 minute ride. I felt OK, not great, but I decided to push myself and did a 45 minute ride. Well I became over heated. I broke out into a cold sweat and started to throw up once I got home. I need to do things in moderation; this is always an issue for me. Whether it is food, drinks or exercise, I tend to binge on everything. This is a habit I need to break.
