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About this blog

My Journey

Entries in this blog

 

Shopping

Yesterday I went shopping to make myself feel better, retail therapy is my new addiction, it always makes me feel good. My clothes are starting to get a little big again and it makes me feel better when I can buy something new that may be just a little bit smaller. Well here's how it went, I took several dresses into the dressing room ranging in sizes from 12 to 16. For all of you who don;t know me I started this journey wearing a size 24 womens. Now I am only 5'1" so I was pretty round. Not sure why I thought I could were the 12 but I just wanted to try it. I did get the dress on but the look was just not me. Now if I had wanted to add some 4 inch heels and work a street corner the dress may have worked. Sorry about that visual but sometimes it helps if I can laugh at my self. I did find two really cute dresses after trying on about 8 or 10. For some reason I thought I bought size 16 in both dresses but to my surprise when I was taking the dress off tonight, yes I had to wear it to work today, I noticed it was a size 14. Wow, I have not had a size 14 on in years. Still need to get on the stick and exercise. I have also developed a bad habit lately I need to break, eating almonds. I think they are my new substitution for salty snacks, so I threw them out tonight. I found my self grazing on these off and on and this is not something I want to start. My husband gets a little frustrated with me when I start throwing away the food in the house but if I don;t think I can trust myself, in the trash it goes. I know that sounds silly but I gotta do what I have to to remain true to myself and this journey. I will not allow myself to fall back into bad habits. I spent way to may years lying to myself about what I ate and never told anyone. I used to stop off at McDonald's and eat a snack on the way home from work and then come home and eat dinner. My addictive thinking was if no one saw me eat it, it did;t count. Well let me tell you that will get you a few pounds overweight real fast. Like I said last night, old habits die hard and we do what we need to do to develop healthy habits.   Everyday is a new day and everyday I love the new me that is blossoming from within. My success is all on me, I have been given the tools I just need to continue to apply them.
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

3
 

Today is a new Beginning

Well I did it! Today I made a commitment to exercise daily! :Dancing_wub: Yes you heard me right I finally got off my butt and made a full fledge commitment to exercise 30 minutes every day. So what was my motivation. Thank you Judy Jones. I read your blog the other night about you losing 59 pounds but had never been committed to exercise. I was right there with you, I have exercised off and on but never completely committed to doing the deed. For Christmas I bought myself a treadmill and have used it off and on, I have a gazelle, it makes a nice clothes hanger in the spare room. But I have just not had the drive and motivation to be consistent. So you ask why now, well it is a short story. Our insurance rates are going up at work, starting in September. To get 800 dollars back on our annually premiums we were required to do a health assessment with employee health. Well, even though I have dropped from 248 to 180 I am still OBESE! What an ugly word, but it didn't sit well with me. My total cholesterol was 196, my HDL is only 47 and my ratio was 4.7. Well that was a slap in the face, I eat healthy, I eat around 900 to 1000 calories a day, 60-80 gms of protein, I take my vitamins religiously, I drink all my water, I write my food down and I don't cheat. I count every morsel I put in my mouth. So what is left. EXERCISE! Stop being a couch potato :behindsofa: in the evenings, get off your ass and EXERCISE!!!! Sorry to curse but I need to get motivated and being the stubborn Italian I am sometimes, stupid has to slap me in the face. So today, I joined Curves, made the appointment this morning for 3pm, did my measurements, signed up and made my commitment and first 6 appointments. I am so excited and pumped this evening. You see I am one of those people who does better with goals, especially if I am PAYING for them. I spend all that money on exercise equipment but there is nothing that pushes me. Obviously if I could do things on my own I would never have gotten OBESE or had weight loss surgery. I also joined with a friend, so we made a commitment together. She had gastric bypass 18 months ago and has lost 135 lbs, needs to lose another 25 but is stuck. We both figured if we did this together we would keep each other motivated. When they did my assessment they asked me what size I wanted to be, I said a size 10. Boy did I pick a lofty goal, I am 5'1" 55 years old and that makes me need to lose 52 to 53 inches and about that many pounds to reach this goal. That would put my weight at about 128-130. I am not real sure about that goal, it may be a bit lofty for me but just to set a goal and make a commitment to myself and now all of you know so I have to be accountable to myself and the entire lap band community because everyone is watching now. I had to laugh, she said, "How do you feel about your thighs?" I had to laugh, then I said, "Well there a little chubby right now and I would like for them to stop jiggling." My thighs measure 27" each and I set my goal for 24-25 inches. All of my life I have been called "Thunder Thighs" Well Ms. Thunder Thighs is going for the gold. I will keep you in the loop, I start on Monday at 7am, my friend Janet and I decided to exercise , 3 days a week before work and 2 days a week after work and on Saturdays we will do mornings. Sundays will be on our own to commit to some type of exercise, yard work, house work, bike riding, swimming or using one of the two exercise machines I own. Dr. Anderson would be so proud of me!:Banane43:
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

3
 

Reaching For The Stars

If you can believe in yourself. you can make your dreams come through. I started this journey 19 months ago. Like many of you I had been overweight for the majority of my adult life and had tried and never been totally successful with any exercise program or diet. That is why I made my decision to have WLS over the summer of 2010. I was so tired of being overweight, tired of my knees hurting, tired of being short of breath when i walked from my car to the office. Tired of being the girl with the pretty face, the death sentence comment for yes she is really fat but she has a pretty face. LapBand comes with its own set of challenges, we all went into this believing we knew what we were getting into but I am not sure anyone can truly prepare you for all you are going to experience. The early part of this journey was lined with challenges and so much of the unknown. For all of you pre and newly banded you need to know I lived on this web site in the early days, I logged on daily and would sometimes spend hours reading the forums and blogs. I wanted to learn as much as I could from the very people who I was trying to emulate. I learned quickly that there were just as many people failing as there were people succeeding and honestly that scared the hell out of me. I gleamed what info I could from the positive comments and tried to figure out how I was not going to become frustrated. The one most important thing I learned was that I had to be accountable to myself, no one was going ot hold my hand and make sure I ate what and how I was suppose to. This was all on me, my success or failure that is. Lapband does work, it can be the tool that you takes you where you want to go but remember it truly is a tool, it does not make food choses for you. It will not stop bad behavior, actually it will allow you to eat junk. Think about it sugar and starches break down in your mouth not in your gut so chips and cookies and candies will always go down when you have to work to eat protein and vegetables. I am an optimist, I went into this with my eyes wide open. I knew my life would never be the same, I knew I would be changing the life of not only me but also my family. I wanted to embrace my new life, when I chose my log on to this site, "LovetheNewMe". I was far from loving or even liking how I was but I knew that was where I wanted to go. Today, I do LovetheNewMe, I have no regrets with my Lapband. People often ask me, Do you regret having the surgery, instead of doing yourself. I laugh, they have no idea. The band helped me lose the weight but it was only a guide, the food I chose to eat, the exercise I chose to do and the new life I embraced was all about me not the band. You see I see my band as my conscious, it lets me know if I chose unwisely but it never stops me. I stop me, because I followed the rules my MD gave me and on the lapband web site. I have been successful not because of the band but because of me and my determination to be successful. Today was a great milestone for me. I went to my exercise session with my trainer today. Today was weigh and measure day. I weighed in at 145 lbs with a BMI of 27.4 and 26% body fat. I lost a total of 5 inches. My measurements are now 36-29-38, my thighs are now 21 inches and my arms are 11.5 inches. My trainer, was ecstatic, I thought he was going to cry, I think he was as happy if not happier than I was. When I left the gym tonight he told me I was his walking billboard that proved that hard work and determination did pay off. I said to him well you did it and he said no Diane you did it, all I did was show you what to do, you did all the work. I told him tonight, I would be happy staying at this weight but I did still have some goals, I want my waist to be 25-26 inches, I want my arms down to 10 inches. He thinks I will reach my ideal body weight of 132 in a few more months, will see.   On another note, the dear hubby tells me tonight, I think your thin enough! Now remember this is the same wonderful fellow who said my thighs were less than optimal. I just looked at him very perplexed. So my new thought process is that I have thighs like a Chinese Shar Pia, because that was the breed of my dear departed Alexander whom I lost 2 years ago. I always said my Ali had only a face a mother could love so I am choosing to embrace my shrinkles and the rest of the world can just. "GET OVER IT."   If you take nothing from my ramblings please take this, believe in your self, love your self, set goals and never feel like you fail. Set backs and plateaus are normal, if you stumble, forgive yourself and refocus. This is YOUR life, this is YOUR chance to learn to love your self and embrace a new life. If i can do this you can do this. I dreamed of being here and now I am. Is my journey over NO, this is a life long journey and a commitment. This is my life, my new life!
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

3
 

Feeling Better Now, Sorry For The Outburst!

Thanks for allowing me to rant earlier today but i have been having a lot of bad days lately with eating solids and I just needed to vent. I had a yummy dinner tonight of solid foods and it all went down and it felt good to eat. Drinking only protein makes me grumpy sometimes and I knew you guys would understand. I bought my Fit Bit today and have set it up, I am really excited to wear it to work this coming week and to exercise. It will be interesting to compare how much I burn all day during my daily activity and how much more I can do. Hope everyone has a great week.
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

3
 

Checking In on Reality

Well hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July! I had the wonderful opportunity to spend the weekend with my three beautiful grandchildren and daughter. It was so great to have the energy to keep up with a 5, 7 and 12 year old. We spent the days in the pool and evenings playing in the yard. We had a cook out on the 4th and than went DT to watch the fireworks and get our faces painted. I don't think I could have asked for a better holiday weekend. Oh and I lost 2 lbs. Even with company here I managed to stay true to my new eating behaviors. I decided to cook what I could eat and daily went out and bought snacks for the kids so they were not sitting around the house. My husband did bring chips into the house for the kids on the 4th and I must say they have always been my weakness and still are and when they left on Tuesday I sent them packing out the door. I really can't trust myself because I knew I would eat them and why have the temptation so close at hand. I also sent all the mini cheese cakes and potato salad. My daughter brought her Pilate's bands and taught me some new strengthening exercise so I could do some more toning at home on my legs and arms. I know I will probably not be able to tighten up all the shrinkles but every little bit helps. I have managed to make it to Curves 4 days a week since starting but still have not got my exercise heart rate up to the 70% they want me to, but I can tell a difference in my energy level. Tonight I got on the WII to weigh myself and was surprised to have lost 2 lbs in the last 9 days. I have been trying hard to stick to 3 meals a day, writing down everything I eat and trying to not do the shakes and bars and eat real food for all my meals. Believe me making myself eat solids for all meals is hard, and requires a lot more planning. I got all of my labs back several weeks ago and my HDL was not high enough and my LDL was too high. So increase the exercise, increase the fiber(and this is very hard). When I got on the scales tonight I am not sure what I would have done if I would have stayed the same. I read and read and everything I read says I have lost above average but when you do everything right you want a reward and my reward has been that number dropping. Sometimes I feel I become fixated with the numbers and so need to refocus myself on the fact that this is a journey and everyday that I make a positive change in my life it is a change in the right direction. I think I have finally realized that the next 30-40lbs is going to be slow and steady. I am not the most patient person, and I really thrive on instant gratification, who of us doesn't? I spend time ever evening reading the blogs because it helps me stay focused, I read the success and the struggles.(I don't like to call them failures because I believe we are all trying to be successful and some do it quicker than others. I try not to compare myself with others because all of our bodies respond differently. Learning from others like us is our key to our success.   I had a friend at work who had the band several months ago and she was struggling with getting to her sweet spot and was struggling with not losing. She told me that she had to distance herself from me because it made her feel bad that she was not losing and I was. But she said what helped her most was staying in therapy with the psychologist and getting her head straight. I think sometimes that is something we all struggle with, we had the surgery, we try hard to eat right but we struggle with demons off and on whether we admit it or not. I went to one of the support group sessions a couple of weeks ago and it was sort of a b***h session for a lot. I heard a lot of people blaming the physician and the navigator for them not knowing or understanding something. I sat there and listened and finally thought, how can we hold others to blame for our inability to lose weight. My doctor made it very clear to me, no guarantees, this was a tool and only a tool and the work was up to me. Let's face it I am really good at lying to myself and talking myself into believing that just one bite won't hurt. ( Just like the fish sandwich and biggie Fry's I used to eat on the way home from work as my first dinner, it didn't count because me and the server were the only witness to my act) I work daily on holding myself accountable, it is my responsibility to listen to my body and inform my doctor if something isn't working but first it is my responsibility to follow the rules. (NONE of this is easy, if it was easy I could have done it without the help of lap band, RIGHT!)   When I got my lab work back, I was disappointed. I thought, I make healthy food choices what else do they want? The nutritionist said, add more fiber and vegetables. I said how in the H%$# am I suppose to do that when I can only eat so much at a meal and I need to focus on protein. She said, eat legumes, oatmeal, nuts, flaxseed. Oh, I said legumes are protein, duhhhh! And EXERCISE, oh that dreaded word. How many of us thought all we had to do was have the surgery and the band would do all the work. How did that work out for everyone, not that good huh! I think I said this in another blog but I had always thought weight loss surgery was a cop out but boy have I changed my mind. This has been one of the most life changing things that I have ever done. For me my lap band forces me to make healthy choices. I am not just paying a fee to WW to get weighed weekly, I altered my body, I had surgery, I put a limit on my choices of what to eat and eating now requires a lot of thought and planning. So lap band bloggers, yes losing weight is what we all hope to achieve but should that be our only focus? Maybe our focus should be on dealing with changing all the learned bad behaviors we have developed over the years and lap band surgery alone will not change those behaviors or those feelings. I constantly find myself checking in with myself because it is so easy to lose one bad behavior and pick up a new one. It is so hard to hold yourself accountable, so hard not to convince yourself to take just one bite, so hard not to slide back to bad habits with just ONE bite! I don't know how to cope unless I just cut them out of my life. But that seems so final and cold. Should we deprive ourselves of the things we love, until I learn control, for me that will be a yes and maybe will always be a yes. Does an alcoholic ever stop being an alcoholic, NO. Does a drug addict every find a time when they can have just one fix, NO. Will I ever be able to be alone in a room with a bag or bowl of chips. I doubt it! My journey will be full of peaks and valleys. I will have successes and I will have back slides. I will work daily to hold myself accountable for my actions and to be honest with myself. Because honestly I am the only person I ever lied to, everyone else could see what I had done to myself and now you know too.
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

3
 

Hit a new set of numbers..Woo Hoo!

I am super excited today! I shared with everyone I started exercising 3 weeks ago, I joined Curves and dusted the treadmill off and started using it for something besides a clothes holder. I had been so frustrated because I had been stuck since after my last fill and unfill in May. I dropped immediately after my fill but than continued to hover in the 180's, lose a pound, gain a pound. I started logging everything I ate 10 days ago on myfitnesspal.com. I loaded the free app on my blackberry to make sure I would log every morsel I placed in my mouth. Well ladies and gentlemen, it paid off. I got weighed this morning at the gym and I am down to 179!!!!!!!! Woo Hoo, a new set of numbers, I am so super excited, I have been stuck in the 180's for 2 and a half months. I was so excited and motivated I started Power 90 the Original Version, Circuit 1-2 and 3-4 this evening. This is lower impact than P90x or Power 90 Master series but for me it is enough impact. I made it through the 35 minutes and didn't pass out or pull my back out. My husband walked in and said, "Honey please don't have a heart attach, your breathing awfully hard and sweating. I had to laugh. You guys don't know me but I'm a girlie girl and usually don't go out any where with out every hair in place and my make up on. So seeing me work out like this was blowing his mind. He thinks I have become a little OCD and maybe I have but dang it I didn't do all this (have the surgery) to not loss weight and get in shape. I want a healthier me and it is going to take more than just a lap band to get me there. To get to my goal weight of 138 I am going to have to really work at it and if that means I am obsessive, so be it. I really care what I put in my body these days, I have wasted a lot of time over the years abusing my self with fast food and junk. It is time I really took care of me, because I am worth it and I want this not so much to look good but to feel good. Today doing the Power 90, I could barely do jumping jacks, now come on who can't do jumping jacks? My legs felt like two lead pipes and it took everything I had to move it, and balance, OMG.. I think I have the coordination and the balance of a 90 year old. My WII fit tells me all the time I need to work on my center of gravity, seriously! I hate it when a dang computer soft ware program is such a smart A$$, but honestly it is correct, my balance sucks. So here is hoping that I improve my coordination and tone a little doing this, now I don't think I will ever have 6 pack abs. (lol) but at least maybe I can stretch my thighs without hanging onto a chair. I am sooooo glad I did this circuit in the privacy of my own home so no one could see how bad I was, but I think I get "A" for effort. I get my measurements done on the 27th of July I can't wait to see how many inches I have lost since I started working out, I know I have lost some because my shorts are lose in the thighs and waist and my bras are too big again. Dang it I really wish I could keep the boobs, I have more fat on my booty and wish it would come off first. Do you think I could have the fat from my butt sucked out and injected in my boobs than I would be pretty equal. (Just a suggestion) Signing off, have a great week everyone!
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

3
 

Keeping a positive attitude.

i often get asked how do you stay so focused and positive. The answer easy, I look in the mirror every morning and I love what I see, I stand on the scales and I love what I see, I get to go shopping and wear pretty much anything I want! So I ask Why would I not stay focused and positive when this process has worked so well for me? Has it been easy NO!!! but what is worth achieving with out hard work and dedication? I will tell you something that has helped me and that is my positive outlook and commitment to this process. I have learned from both my positive experiences and my negative experiences. I have learned that I am far from perfect and can learn from everyone, even the ones who are struggling. I am just Polly Anna enough to believe that anything worth achieving is worth working hard for and I also believe that most people are good. Now I have been burnt a couple of times in my life but this does not prevent me from still believing in people.   So I share with you this morning some positive affirmations for a healthy happy weight loss journey.   I write them on my mirror, I post them in my office and on my refrigerator and share them with my friends.   This is my trick for staying focused and realizing my dream of a thinner, healthier me.       A list of positive Affirmations for Weight Loss I achieve my weight loss goals
Losing weight comes naturally to me
I choose nourishing, healthy foods
I think before eating
I drink lots of water
Losing weight is fun
Healthy foods taste better
I am motivated by both successes and failures
I accept and love my body as it is, and work to make it better
I love challenges and embrace them
I lose weight systematically and I keep it off permanently
I am losing weight
I exercise because it makes me feel good
I respect my body and treat it with respect
I do everything I need to do to achieve my healthy weight
I am encouraged by every success
I am motivated by every shortfall
Losing weight and I are one
I dissolve all blocks to reaching a healthy weight
I forgive myself
I learn from my mistakes
I fill all physical appetites in physically healthy ways
I am aware of my eating habits and how they affect my weight
I am willing to change my eating habits and I do so easily
I build lean muscle and I lose fat
I enjoy the process of reaching a healthy weight
I see myself at my healthy weight and I achieve it
I have non-stop daily determination to reach my healthy weight
I like long walks
It is easy for me to stay on my plan to obtain my healthy weight
I picture myself at my perfect weight
I have a positive attitude about what I eat, how I eat, and when I eat
My body burns fat like a furnace
Developing healthy eating habits becomes easier each day
I stay on a healthy eating plan and maintain my healthy weight easily
Each day, I automatically and successfully get healthier and healthier
  Happy Sunday all and wishing you continued success to achieving your goals!
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

3
 

Why do we sabotage our selves?

Have you ever really sat down and wondered how you got to this point in your life? You know how did you end up on a blog pouring our your inner most feelings to strangers. Well I know how I got here, how about YOU? I got here by lying to myself, telling myself that if no one saw me eat it, it did not count. I got here, by snacking on unhealthy foods, potato chips, candy bars, ice cream, soda, alcohol, bread, snack food, snack food, snack food. I got here by always making excuses as to why I ate something, why my diet failed. It was a dinner, a party at work, an outing with friends, I could cheat just once because, I COULD CONTROL THE BINGE! Well guess what I LIED, How about you? Have any of you ever lied to your self that you were in control? I did then and I do now and you know what I probably always will unless I learn to call myself on every morsal I put in my mouth that does not belong there. Have you ever wondered why the people who are successful are successful with lap band and weight loss surgery or diets? Why, because the follow the rules 99.9% of the time. I am not there yet, I still back slide, and I still beat myself up and promise I won't do it again. Why I am where I am today? I had to have surgery on my knee and this was just all the sympathy I needed for myself to start lying to myself. No I have not gained any weight but I have eaten things I know I cannot control. So I have spent countless hours trying to figure out how to make up for what I ate, so I'm hungry most evenings, not satisfied with my choices and feel like crap. Oh but it's OK. right, I had surgery, it is OK to allow myself a few days off for good behavior? WRONG, that is the thinking of an addict, an addict who has slipped and is lying to themselves again. Believe me I know what I eat, I log every morsal I place in my mouth, I am not eating enough protein, and I consistently eat too much fat. I have been trying to eat 40-30-30 and it ends up more like 40-20-40. (Carbs-Protein-Fat)So why am I bloging this today, because everyday I read about how one of us is doing good, one of us has back slide and one of us is searching for the right answer. We can not help each other or support one another if we do not hold ourselves and each other accountable. I need someone to call me on my bad behavior, I may not like it but, what good does it do me if I am allowed to continue back down a path of destruction. What good does it do any of us? We all made a decision or are making a decision to have surgery to help us control what we were not able to. So why sabotage our selves? Why go through all the physiological evaluations, jump through all the insurance hoops if we are going to continue to lie to our selves. I am nearing my one year anniversary this month, maybe that is what prompted this blog. I have lost 74 lbs and still have 34 lbs to go by the height and weight charts. I have been stalled for months; most days I eat right on target, I have restriction or "I am at my sweet spot" I have thought about a fill just so I eat less but know that is not the answer. So what is the answer? I guess that is a personal answer for all of us. To me the answer is learning to live a healthy life, make healthy decisions every waking minute of my day. To me it is hard wiring or rewiring my thinking so it becomes natural and not a daily chore. To me it is not allowing unhealthy foods into my shopping cart or on to my dinner table. I may not be able to control what my family eats but I can control what is brought into my house and I have a Rights. I have the right not to subject myself to unhealthy atmospheres, friends or family who do not support my choice to make a healthy life for myself. This may sound harsh but I have to be committed to this because every corner I turn there is someone or something there that if I allow it, it will help me to sabotage myself. So friends, take inventory of your life and YOUR cupboards because no one but US is going to help US make it. So my question when I started this rant,"Why do we sabotage ourselves?" So why do "YOU" sabotage yourself, do you know?
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

3
 

Progress

Well Happy Monday! Just to let everyone know, I am making progress with my physical therapy on my knee. Today I started pool therapy and I actually was able to do steps leading with my right leg. Well of course this was in 4 foot of water but hey, I have been walking with crutches and my knee taped for 3 weeks now. So to me this is progress. I also made it through a whole day at work with out crutches, a limp because I am so afraid of falling but the knee did not buckel once today. The small things that make me happy these days. I still live in fear everyday of gaining weight, I log my food every day, it drives my husband crazy but I want to be sure I am eating right. I had another stuck episode tonight. I have had freguant episodes lately, almost daily something gets stuck. I was having a discussion with my husband tonight and he said he observed that I am going back to bad habits of eating to fast. He;s right, I used to watch the clock and make sure I was chewing every bite. Now I just want to finish when everyone else does, so I eat faster and usually that means I PB at least 1/4 of what I eat and sometimes it really hurts. I guess old habits die hard. Weight is still holding at 177. Hope everyone has a great week.    
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

2
 

The earth moved slightly and so did the scale

Finally, i got on the scale this morning and they moved. down 1.5 lbs. I was so happy to see a new number. Then I went to work. Why do some people just have to burst your bubble. I was talking to a nurse and we were talking about losing weight and I said, I had been stuck at the same weight fo a while and was frustrated. She said,"You look amazing" I said, thank you. Then I was telling her about hurting my knee exercising and how worried I had been about not losing and afraid of gaining, so when the scales moved this morning and I was down 1.5 I was elated. She says well you know why don't you, you stopped exercising so you are losing muscle. Just what the blankty blank I need to hear. I know she is probably right but it sure did deflate my mood. Sighhhhh! The day ended well, I went to PT and was able to do the eliptical bike, 599 steps in 10 minutes. My balance sucks, the therapist told me I could use my WII Fit and do the balancing exercises and step exercises. Really low impact compared to what I was doing but I was excited. I decided I would stay positive and not let negative comments distroy my mood. "It is what it is" and right now it is slow going, but it is going. Another thing, not sure what is up with my stomach. I keep getting so bloated and so much gas, I know TMI but seriously, why all the gas. I had a few slices of granny smith apple yesterday and I though I was going to die. Seriously I was doubled over with pain and then later it feels like someone is ripping me open. thank you all for your support, I really appreciate all my lap band friends and all the info we share. I learn so much from reading others blogs. Have a great rest of the week bandsters.
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

2
 

Am I Really Hungry Or Is My Head Taking Over Again!

Do you sometimes suffer from head hunger? Do you sometimes find your self munching on something and ask your self why? Do you feel remorse and quilt after you eat sometimes and don't understand why you ate that?   Well you are not alone, many of us, me included still suffer from these very triggers that cause head hunger even after WLS. Our surgery did not fix our brains or stop us from putting unhealthy food in out bodies. It takes months and years and constant reminding to undo unhealthy behaviors. The one thing that can really sabotage a WLS patient is themselves. Once we start down a self destructive path we can easily justify why we are doing what we are doing. How many of you have lied to your self about taking just one bite, when you really ate the who thing? Grazers sometimes have more difficulty with WLS than binge eaters. It is much easier to graze then it is to binge after WLS that is why it is so important to learn what your eating triggers are and to learn how to deal with head hunger early in your journey.   I often surf the internet looking for ideas that may help me to stay true to my healthy self and like to share with others in thoughts that it may help someone else. Everyone has to individulize their journey and has to learn how they can best cope with this change in life style.   Some of the tips for dealing with head hunger suggests things that if you are a WLS person like myself, you cannot do. We cannot bulk up on low calorie foods or eat big salads, we cannot drink soup before our protein meals to fill us up and we cannot drink large volumes of water at one time when we are eating. If these things worked for us we would not have had WLS.   As a bariatric patient we must learn to deal with our triggers and behaviors that sabatoge us. I found what I consider a good article this morning that I would like to share with all of you. The article is from the Obesity Help web site.   http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/mental-health/Head-Hunger-Coping-with-Your-Triggers-for-Overeating.html Head Hunger - Coping with Your Triggers for Overeating   by Michelle May, MD Do you sometimes confuse “head hunger” with “body hunger”? If you’re sensitive to food cues, weight management becomes much easier when you’re able to recognize the triggers in your environment and break the associations that lead you to overeat simply out of habit. Let’s take a look at just a few of the common triggers for overeating and strategies for coping more effectively. By the Clock: Society programs us to follow a schedule, so like Pavlov’s dog, we’ve learned to salivate when the bell rings. The reality is that it’s more convenient to eat at certain times than others, so it takes effort to listen to your hunger cues. Strategy: Though it’s challenging to change this routine, you can adapt it to fit your own needs. Learn to pace yourself by observing your natural hunger rhythms. You’ll probably notice that you get hungry every three to six hours, depending on what and how much you ate at your last meal and how active you’ve been. Keep a healthy snack handy to satisfy hunger that doesn’t conform to mealtimes. If you’re consistently tempted to snack right before a meal, consider moving the mealtime up or adding more protein to your previous snack. High-Risk Times: Many people have times of the day that are high-risk for overeating. For example, you may experience a late-afternoon energy slump or a tendency to munch when you come home from work to transition into your evening. Strategy: Know when you’re most at risk and develop an alternate strategy. For example, create a Recharge Ritual or Transition Time that helps you relax or unwind. Save a favorite magazine or book to read, call a friend or walk your dog instead. Create a list of things to do instead of eating. Keep the list (and any necessary supplies) handy and make a commitment to try one of these activities before eating simply out of habit. ‘Tis the Season: Be aware of your seasonal and weather-related cues for eating. Holidays can be especially difficult because of all of the social ties to certain foods and even certain people. Many of the foods you eat during this time may seem “special,” and therefore, harder to eat in sensible quantities. Strategy: These occasions repeat themselves, so you can anticipate what typically occurs and create a plan for dealing with your triggers. Make it a point to really listen to your body instead of the external cues when making your food choices. Also, keep in mind that special foods will be even more special when you eat them mindfully when you’re hungry, focusing on the appearance and flavors of the food, the ambiance, the other people and the reason you’re all together. Tempting Displays: Seeing displays of food like candy or nuts in dishes and tempting foods when you open your cabinet or refrigerator can trigger you to want those foods. Strategy: Out of sight, out of mind. Don’t use food as decorations or leave appetizing foods in plain view. Try putting tempting foods behind other foods in your cabinets and refrigerator. If a co-worker keeps food out, ask him or her to put it in a drawer instead. Media: Food is everywhere in television and magazines (ironically, often right next to the articles about the latest wonder diet!). Strategy: Get yourself a glass of water during commercials, avoid watching programs that focus on food and skip quickly over the food ads and recipes. Break the habit of eating while watching television—usually a mindless, high-calorie activity. Location, Location, Location: If you eat in front of the TV, in bed or standing in the kitchen, you may feel an urge to eat just from being in those places. Strategy: Try to eat only while sitting at a table. Make it a family rule to limit eating to one or two rooms in the house. This will decrease triggers like TV and reading and help you focus on enjoying your food without distractions. Biggie Size: Restaurants often serve overly large portions to make their customers feel that they are getting value. Strategy: Be prepared to have extra food wrapped up to go as soon as you feel satisfied, or estimate how much you think you’ll need and wrap up the rest even before you start eating. If you leave the food sitting in front of you, you’ll be more likely to keep nibbling. Remind yourself that you’ll get to enjoy that food again when you’re hungry. You can also share an entrée or order an appetizer-sized portion. Forbidden Food Syndrome: Although it’s a popular topic of conversation, the mere discussion of dieting can trigger feelings of deprivation and cravings. Just thinking about restrictive dieting has been shown to increase food intake. Strategy: Decrease the amount of time you spend talking about food, weight and dieting. Depend on your physical hunger cues to let you know when it’s time to eat. By learning to recognize and cope more effectively with your head hunger, you’ll begin to break free from old, problematic habits. You’ll find yourself eating less, feeling more satisfied and meeting your needs more appropriately. To get a one-page handout called “101 Things to Do Instead of Eating When You’re NOT Hungry,” visit http://amihungry.com/enews.shtml. Food and Feelings Emotions are common triggers for eating. People sometimes eat to cope with stress, distract themselves from difficult emotions or stuff down feelings they don’t know how to express in a healthier manner. However, boredom, anger, anxiety, loneliness, stress and other feelings are a natural part of our lives, and eating won’t make them go away. In fact, eating in response to these feelings disconnects you from important information about what you need. For example, “I want brownies” might really mean “I want comfort,” “I need a reward,” “I wish I had a friend to talk to” or “I wish I could tell you how I really feel.” The food you eat to deal with feelings comes with strings attached—weight gain and regret. But more importantly, it denies you the opportunity to discover and satisfy your true needs. Since eating cannot meet your emotional needs, those unmet needs trigger overeating again and again. The way to break out of this pattern is to stop judging yourself when you overeat and instead try to figure out what you needed that drove you to eat when you weren’t physically hungry. Examining your current eating behavior can be a powerful source of information about your inner self and your true needs and wants. Once you have identified the emotions that triggered the urge to eat, seek ways to comfort, nurture, calm and distract yourself without turning to food.   Michelle May, MD, a physician and recovered yo-yo dieter, is the author of Am I Hungry? What to Do When Diets Don’t Work, available at www.AmIHungry.com.  
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

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Small Accolades

Today is around 5 weeks since I hurt my knee and had to stop exercising. I must say it has been a very frustrating month. I have been doing therapy 3 times a week, now for 3 weeks and seriously there is little improvement. Not sure what I expected, "I think miracles". I guess my saving grace is that at least this did not happen at the beginning of my journey and I had already made progress. I have managed to maintain my weight loss and have even lost a few pounds. But I so much miss exercising, every time I see someone jogging or walking it makes me sad and makes me realize how much we all take for granted. Lap band surgery has given me back my life, I have so much more energy and has helped me re-build confidence in myself. I never realized how much being overweight had effected all aspects of my life. I wonder sometimes why I needed the lap band and why I could not have wrapped my brain around learning to control my portions myself. It took potential life altering health problems to shake me to reality and do something about my weight gain. The band truly is my friend and makes staying on track so much easier. I have thought many times over the past few months about getting a fill in my band so I would be able to lose weight faster. Patience has never been one of my attributes. I have always wanted instant gratification in what ever I did. I am glad I made the decision to work with the band instead of letting the band do all the work. I still have those days when I get stuck and PB, but they are usually because I fail to follow the rules and that is when I reflect back and realize if the band was not there to stop me I would easily revert back to bad behaviors. I honestly think I have found my "sweet spot" I can eat what I am suppose to eat, I rarely feel hunger, and food is not my main thoughts. I do occasionally splurge and allow myself a treat of a miniature chocolate or 100 calorie snack. The difference is I count these in my total daily calorie count. Yes guys I am one of those OCD people that has to count calories, I realize some think we should not have to do this but, I still do not trust myself, or maybe it is not trust but the fact I know myself and I know how easy it is to say: oh, that little bite won't matter, and a couple of desserts later your pants are too tight. I know a lot of you are still struggling to get to the place where I am. Don't give up on your self, each and everyone of us is work the trials and tribulations that we are going through. Believe in your self, because if you don't believe in yourself you can not expect others to. Don't let small roadblocks or set backs take away your focus. We all have common ground, this is a life journey and not a vacation from food. This is us building confidence in ourselves and learning to trust our selves alone in a room with the "evil" that lives inside. We all have our own demons to fight and all of our journeys are individual, we can't compare ourselves to one another and we all have to hold each other accountable. I am approaching my 1 year anniversary next month and I so wanted to be at goal but I know that I will not be there. But you know what? That's OK. Seriously, it is! I am pleased with my progress and realize that I will get there. So, I guess what I have learned most of late, is I have changed. I have moved from Diane the closet eater to Diane the obsessive calorie counter. I have always read that when you give up one addiction you usually develop a new one, well thank you God my obsession is managing my weight loss. So for all of you out there that are still struggling to reach that place where you are happiest, remember the happiness may not always be found in a number you reach on the scale but a happiness from within yourselves.
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

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Another Step toward Success!

Well fellow banisters I had my knee surgery today and now am back on my road to success. I started my journey today at 8am, I woke up this morning, nervous and scared and THIRSTY! Boy was it a long night, why is it when you know you can't have anything to drink you fine yourself wanting it the most. I arrived at the outpatient surgery center a head of schedule at 1045am. They took be back at 11am, checked my vitals, (nurse concerned because my pulse was only 44, I had to reassure her that this was normal because of my medications) They did a pregnancy test, I had to laugh and so did she when I told her I had already given birth over the past 11 months to a 75lb toddler. She looked at me like I was crazy, so this will be our little joke. I had 2 mg of Versed around 1:15, (what a wonderful drug, it allows you to relax and not remember or care what they are about to do to you) I was so humbled by the support of my friends and co-workers at the hospital, the all descended upon with their support and prayer at my bedside before surgery. I knew the moment the arrived that God had sent them to me to help me to relax and take away all of my anxiety. It feels so wonderful to have friends that support you, they have been such a blessing through my journey this past year and I know with out their constant support and praise this would have been so much more difficult. I woke up in the recovery room around 2:15 and was not prepared for the pain I was having in my knee. Not sure what I thought but I honestly thought this was going to be a piece of cake because I had so much pain prior to pain. My knee was on fire and it hurt all the way up my other thigh. But there was my nurse "Janie" she was so compassionate, she place ice on my knee, raised my head, and was so concerned over my pain and wanted to fix it. She gave me ½ mg of Dilaudid and 150mg of Toradol; she monitored my v/s frequently and finally after 15 minutes had my pain under control. I must admit I was nervous to take the narcotic, Dilaudid because of what happened post op with my Lap Band but Janie was so understanding and compassionate that I knew she would make sure I was well monitored and safe. I was discharge to the care of my husband around 240pm, now that being said. I know none of you know me but I am not used to being cared for, I am the care giver and make a lousy patient. He brought me home, placed me in bed, went to pick up my RX's and made sure everything was in my reach. (He had to go back to work and left me in the hands of my son Michael) Michael was wonderful, he waited on my had and foot all evening. He made my dinner, Chicken Picatta, vegetables and bread. I was so nauseated still and unable to eat but a few bites, I opted to take another phenergan and take a nap. I work around 9:30pm and was finally able to take in some food, but of course the finicky band like always only allowed me to enjoy about a ¼ of what I would normally eat. But it is what it is and it tasted wonderful. Awake again, pain about a 4, so ice, a pain pill and more liquids for me. I am so excited that I can again get busy in the very near future with my exercise program (however that looks) so I can seriously loss this last 25 lbs. Thank you to all of my bandster family and all of your support these last few weeks. I have been so fortunate in my journey with Lapland and want so much to help any of you struggling with your weight loss. I do not have all the answers but I can lend you support and tell you that being positive even in your darkest hour will help pull you through and help you to remain courageous and true to your journey. Remember this is for "YOU" and about "YOU" be true to "Yourself". YOU and only YOU know what you put in your mouth! Make this a lifestyle change and use your band to assist you during this transition. I dedicate this POST to my new found cyber friend "Arnetta". Please know that I believe in you and I know you will be successful. These first few weeks are hardest but you will find your inner strength. Prayers and cyber Hugs to all of you! Diane
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

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Weekend Over and I made It!

Well it's Sunday evening and I am pleased to say I made it through the weekend without any issues. I went to a web site of a hospital here in SC, MUSC and they had a few neat tools for Lap Band patients. I down loaded the forms so I could keep track of my food and check it off. They also had a nice shopping list and lists of types of protein we should be eating. I have done good with my weight loss and in the beginning I used the Lap Band web site to record my food diary but after I returned to work I was not as consistent. It is hard to stay honest with eating for me unless I write down every bite I put in my mouth, today I did this and when it came time for dinner, I realized I only had 3 protein servings left, 1 Vegetable serving and 1 Fruit serving. So dinner was Grilled Shrimp and a small salad. I still had all of my fats so I added salad dressing to my salad. It was yummy! I exercised both yesterday and today so check for exercise. All in all this has been a good weekend but I am so glad it is over. Well off to do homework, been procrastinating this all day. Ugh!
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

2
 

Update

I haven't blog in few weeks or months, but wanted to let everyone know I am still out here, reading the blogs and forums to keep up with everyone. I spend more time on MFP these days. I started working out with a personal trainer 5 weeks ago and that is really working out good for me. I had really hit a slump in my program and was pretty much dead in the water again. My band was working, but I just wasn't eating very well. I had hit a spot again when food just wasn't my focus and was eating way to few calories. My trainer told me I was pretty much starving my muscles and my body was holding on to those fat cells for dear life. Sad I had to pay someone to teach me how to eat, but it is working. At first I thought there is no way I can do this. I am suppose to eat 3 meals a day and that is it. But guess what 5 weeks later, I am eating my 3 meals a day but I am supplementing a protein shake twice a day for snacks and most days take in 100 plus grams of protein. I still have my days I struggle but they are fewer and further between. My first month I lost 5lbs and 9 inches. I am hoping to lose 4 lbs this month and I will finally be out of the 150's.. While what a mile stone, I have not been this petite since high school. I used to think a goal of 132 was unreachable but I am finding out if you have the right attitude you can make anything work. Now don't get me wrong I have my ups and downs with the band but for the most part this is the best thing I every did for me. And seriously it really is all about me at this time. This is my chance, my time and my journey. Lap band is not an easy journey, it is paved with trials and tribulations. It will test your passion, it will test your commitment, you will have to fight temptation on a daily basis. There will always be food and lots of it, you have to realize that food to you is no different than alcohol is to an alcoholic or drugs are to a drug addict. My journey has consisted of distancing myself from temptations, I do not allow certain foods in my house or more specifically in my cabinets or fridge. I have no control of what others do but I do have control over what I put in my mouth. I find my self more aware of what others eat and I often think, man I used to eat like that and look where it got me. I think now my goal has become an obsession, I work my butt off, 3 days with a trainer, 6 days a week of cardio and logging religiously every morsel I eat. I have a new set of fears now, I used to fear not losing weight, my new fear is how will I maintain? I am trying to make exercise routine and part of my life.   To all you newbies and those weighting to have surgery and lose of you who are struggling, stay positive, stay focused and if you detour, forgive yourself, pick you up and move forward. We can all get caught up in the soulda, coulda, woulda! Look at everyday as a new beginning. Good luck to all of you and if you know a nurse be extra special to them this week, this is our week to celebrate. It is national nurse week, so hug your favorite nurse this week and tell her how much you appreciate what she does.
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

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Is It Really Worth Not Cheating! 2 Year Band-Iversary

Well it has been two years this weekend since I had lap-band surgery. Official date for surgery was October 27, 2010. All I can say is wow, I have learned so much these past two years and still learn everyday but only hope and pray it all sticks with me for the rest of my life. When I started this journey two years ago, I was morbidly obese and like many of you had struggled for years with the ups and downs of yo-yo dieting. My medical health had started to suffer under the weight of my added poundage and my life expectancy was being greatly affected by my poor choice of diet. I loved food and what is even worse I am an excellent cook and baker and was so scared I could not change. This journey for me has been a very personal journey like I know it is for all of you. I think my biggest fear in the beginning was that I would fail or I would lose some weight but not all the weight. Can anyone identify with those thoughts? I am sure you can. On the outside to people looking in, I look like I have made this journey easy but that is so far from the truth. I fight back the urges of my alter ego daily. What do I mean by that, I have head hunger just like the rest of you but I know if I allow myself that one indulgence that I may not be able to stop. Everyone has those few things that I chose to call their kryptonyte and those are the things that if presented with them you find them the hardest to resist. Mine are potato chips and french fries. Hmmm, wonderful crunchy salty yummy potato chips and wonderful hot salty FF from of yes McDonald's. Today if presented with these two items I would still indulge in their forbidden goodness. I know, I know, I should be stronger right, well I am human and we all have our weaknesses and that is mine. So how do I avoid them, simple don't buy them. If you were to do a sweep of my cupboards and fridge and freezer you would find healthy snacks. Apples, bananas, natural peanut butter, SF syrups, Dark Chocolate (I buy one bar at a time of Chocoluv Dark Chocolate with Sea Salt and it has to last 2 weeks, that is one itty bitty square at a time), healthy pop corn(no added butter) Raw Almonds and protein shakes and bars. May sound boring but I have found these to be my new delights when I want a snack and actually find myself craving my new found healthy snacks. I still have several obsessions with my weight loss journey, I have to record my food intake daily, (MFP) I have to make recipes for any foods I do in combination (I use the recipe builder on MFP, before I indulge in them), I still 2 years out weigh and measure my food, I still eat off a salad plate. (All of these rituals sometimes drive my husband crazy, he even told a Friend this weekend that he was actually jealous of my blogging and all the time I spend on MFP and LBT, I looked at him and said. Seriously, "Would you rather have the old Diane back?" "If not get over it, deal with it, this is my therapy and this is what helps me stay honest and clean with myself." So now you know my other obsession today, my computer time, this new found love for recording food, responding to blogs and forums is my indulgence and helps me stay focused on why I am doing all of this.   So if your still reading my long winded ranting, I am sure you are wondering where the pot of gold, the fairy dust, magic wand and words of great wisdom are? Well guess what there are none, there is no magic, there is nothing special about lap band, it will not help you fix your obsessions with food, it will not cure your head hunger and most important it will not stop you from eating. Now it will give you some negative reinforcement if you chose to break the rules and over indulge in bad band behavior. So I guess one word of wisdom is to get your head screwed on right.   You see day after day I read on this web site all the comments from fellow bandsters about needing help because they have fallen off the band wagon, they need to refocus, the need to get back on track, they say they cheated, they say they have been banded for days, months, years and still are struggling with losing weight. Honestly all of this makes my heart hurt, , you ask, Why? Because, these people are still waiting for the band to tell them not to eat (RESTRICTION), their still waiting for that wonderful Sweet Spot they told us that would come. That wonderful spot when the band was perfect, and it would help them not feel hunger and take away all the urges for wanting to eat. They told us this would help, they told us this was going to be a tool and this tool would help us not to feel hungry and help control our hunger. Guess what guys, STOP WAITING because that day will never come and if it does it usually only lasts for a few weeks or months and over time we lose fluid in the band, it loosens and you get a fill and you start all over again.   So I guess my one small gem of wisdom is learn to control your head hunger and stop waiting on the band to control your eating habits and learn to control the band. The only person who can really help you lose weight is YOU, yes the band is a tool, you can have more fluid put in to it and continue to sit and wait for that wonderful SWEET SPOT or you can take control of your life and learn to control your behavior and relationship with food. The band is not going to fix you, you have to fix you and that my friends takes time and patience. That is where the word cheating comes in, when you fail to fix you, you continue to make the same bad choices and excuses day after day, month after month and wonder why you are not losing weight. It is easy to blame the tool, after all they did tell us this tool would help us to succeed where we had failed with so many other diets and plans. But guess what there is no full proof guarantee with WLS of any kind. There are many people who have the band, the sleeve and full bypass who continue to loss and gain the same weight over and over again just like they did before.   So what do I do if the band is not working for me? I suggest you take a good long look at the person in the mirror because honestly she or he are the only persons who can really help you to get to where you want to be. I want to share a poem with you that I find very motivational and have kept a laminated copy of this on my mirror in my bathroom. Any of you that have followed me these past two years have heard me time and time again speak about positive affirmation's and learning to love your self. The key to my success is not my band but me, I have changed. I am not the same person I was 2 years ago. I don't think the same and I don't feel the same. I have reached my goal weight and on the out side I am thin but on the inside is where I really feel different, I no longer feel like a fat girl. Yes I will continue to work on the emotional me and I will always remember where I once was. After you read the poem below you will understand why I titled this blog, Is it really worth not cheating, because if you fail to lose weight and fail to learn to control your food chooses the only person you are failing is you and honestly haven't you hurt yourself enough! So if you are still struggling with losing, still waiting on the band to fix you, get some counseling, dig deeper into yourself and find out what makes you tick. You are worth it but you have to know that and really believe it.   You see I am not allowing my band to control my journey any longer nor am I allowing the band to dictate what I eat or when. i am in control of me and my behavior, yes i have bad days but the success to those bad days is I do not give in to the behavior because i have to face the 'Lady in the Glass" Enjoy and I wish everyone peace, hope and success on the journey we call "Bandster Living." I am not perfect but a work in progress and taking this one day at a time.     The Man In The Glass Peter Dale Wimbrow Sr.     When you get what you want in your struggle for self And the world makes you king for a day Just go to the mirror and look at yourself And see what that man has to say.   For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife Whose judgment upon you must pass The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life Is the one staring back from the glass.   He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the rest For he’s with you, clear to the end And you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test If the man in the glass is your friend.   You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years And get pats on the back as you pass But your final reward will be heartache and tears If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

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Perserverance Or Stubborn?

I have always loved the early morning hours of the day. The time before the sun comes up, the house is quiet, every one is still asleep. This is my time of the day to just ly quietly in bed and reflect about the day ahead and plan. This is also the time of day that I can relect on how blessed I have been in my life, thanking God for my wonderful family and friends and for giving me the strength to handle almost anything that falls in my path. Now.....back to the present! (For those of you who do not know me, I had surgery October 2010) I had a fill two weeks ago, my idea. I must admit the past 2 weeks have been pure HELL! I did my 48 hours of liquids like I was instructed but unlike every other fill I was not able to go right back to solids after the initial 48 hours. (Note: after my second fill in May of last year I was over filled and had to have an unfill. I was unable to drink liguids let alone eat.) I had to progress my self through full liguids, to soft and than to solids. I almost gave in several times and was tempted to go back and say, "Take some Damn fluid out I want to EAT." But I didn't, I drank my protein, which I do not love, every day I would take my breakfast, lunch and dinner, take a few bites push it away and drink a protein drink. I didn't have reflux, I didn't throw up, liquids passed without any difficulty and I had no desire to eat. I didn't feel hungry, Not sure I understand why but after my fill this time everything tastes different, things I loved before my fill, I don't like or want. The past 3 days have been good, I have been able to eat solids for lunch and dinner. Breakfast is still a little touchy, I do a couple of bites but than just decide to drink a protein drink. Sadly I have not even enjoyed my Starbucks! May weekday ritual is always a "Triple Tall, Skinny Carmel Machiatto" I have tried several different lattes this week and after about drinking a third i just toss it. Tossing a $5 cup of coffee is pretty expensive so I think I will give up on them for a while. They just don't seem to taste good! Sorry Starbucks, I will hold on to my Gold card but I guess you won't be getting rich of me for a while. My goal for the upcoming week is to increase my calories and find something that tastes really good and yummy. I have only be averaging about 600 cal a day for about 2 weeks, so I have been faithfully taking my vitamans and adding protein when ever I can to increase the calories and make sure my hair doesn't fall out. I have lost 10 lbs since my fill, the 4 lbs I had gained and 6 additional lbs. So this morning I way in at a "skinny 165" Hope everyone has a Great Sunday. Adding a new pic, of me and the family at Christmas.  
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

2
 

Living With Lapband And Staying On Track For Me!

Happy Saturday Bandsters!   Hope everyone has had a great week. I finally fell like I am getting back on track from my last fill on January 30th. This time it has taken me much longer to recover and get adjusted to my meal plan, it has been like step one learning to eat all over again. I really struggled the first couple of weeks post fill and had to rely on protein shakes more than I would have liked to but I am finally eating solids 3 meals a day, no hunger or snacking between meals and able to get at least 90% of my protein with solids. I still struggle a little in the mornings with solids, but I just keep trying and eventually I know I will be able to do breakfast of eggs again. So for now breakfast will just have to be Greek Yogurt with some additional berries and a little high protein Kashi. My weight loss since the fill has finally leveled off to about a pound a week, but the rapid weight loss during the first few weeks made my hair start to fall out again. I was bad, I did not take my vitamins like I should have and now am paying for it but have gotten back on track this past week. I went back to the gym this morning, this is the first time I have done formal exercise, except walking since my knee surgery last year in November. It felt good just to make my self go, I took it slow and did not over do it, I was a little nervous and afraid I would struggle with the knee exercises but I did well. Exercised for 40 minutes than stretched for 10-15 minutes. Great way to start a Saturday, I have decided to go to the gym on Tuesday and Thursdays after work, and Saturday mornings. I am going to try hard not to over do it like I did last time so I do not re-injure myself. I also had them to remeasure me this morning and since I started the gym last year, I have dropped 23.3 lbs and 23.75 inches, not to bad since I have not exercised since September of last year. I think the most dramatic drop has been my waist and my bust. I have dropped my waist from 40 inches to 33 inches and 5 inches off my bust. Needless to say, it is time to buy bras again... Again I could put my husbands tube socks in to fill out the cups. I really need to work on my thighs, honestly out of all of my saggy body parts, I hate my upper inner thighs. If anyone has any good suggestions for some great exercises for the inner thighs let me know, I am going to concentrate on the legs so at least I won't look to much like a Shar Pia this summer. This week I was reading the blogs and really liked one that (MorelGirl) I think the blog was timely and could really hit home for a lot of us, Logical Me and Emotional Me. That blog really hit home for me, logically I always know what I should be doing but emotionally sometimes it is so difficult to remember everything I am suppose to do and not allow the emotional side win over the logical side. Take for instance, waiting so long to get a fill, I knew for months I needed a fill, but kept telling myself, you can do this, you can manage your portions, you know what to eat. Well logically, yes I do know what to eat, but it was nice to eat what everyone else was eating, little pizza, little bread, little pasta. Even thought I did not gain weight, I was not losing, I had convinced myself I was just at a plateau but honestly that was emotional me trying to convince logical me that it was OK to eat that stuff. So I will not cry over spilled milk and I will not lose anymore time feeling sorry for time lost. I am refocused, back on track and will faithfully blog and be accountable to myself. It is so easy to drift back into bad habits, and thank you Morel Girl for snapping me back into reality. So since I am back in the Green Zone and back on track I am posting a few tips for all of us to learn to live by. Please learn from my mistakes, do not give up on the band, remember to use it as the tool it was designed to be. If your adjustments are not quite right keep going back and insisting they get them right. Remember it is not the amount in your band but how you respond to the amount in your band. It takes some of us longer than others to get to our "sweet spot", some just need a little adjustment, some need more. Stay in touch with your surgeon and attend the support groups locally if you can, support is important because even though our family and friends support us if they have never been "overweight" really they can not help us or identify with us. Remember we are all individuals and we will all lose weight and have different amounts in our bands, we should never compare the amounts in our bands, we are indivduals and will all respond differently to the lap band. The most improtant thing we can do is learn from others successes and failures. Standing alone sometimes we may feel powerless but as a group we are strong and very powerful. Have a great weekend friends. Love and Good Luck to all, Diane       Lifestyle Guidelines After LAP-BAND® Surgery   10 Tips for healthy living   Here are ten simple but important tips that will help you achieve your weight loss goals with the LAP-BAND® System. Remember, your success depends a lot on your ability to commit to a new way of eating — and embrace your new way of living. Show All   1. Aim to eat three small meals a day.   The LAP-BAND® System creates a small stomach pouch that can hold about one-quarter cup (approx. 2 oz) of food. Eating more can stretch the stomach, canceling the effect of your procedure. 2. Eat slowly and chew thoroughly.   Food can only pass through the new stomach opening (or “stoma”) if it has been chewed into very small pieces (about 15–20 times per bite). 3. Stop eating as soon as you feel satisfied.   Once your stomach pouch is full, your body receives a signal that you have eaten enough. If you rush through your meal, you may overeat before this signal reaches your brain. 4. Avoid or limit drinking before or during meals.   If you drink in the 15 to 20 minutes before, or during, your meal, the food you eat becomes liquid and the effectiveness of the LAP-BAND® System is greatly reduced. Take only small sips with meals. 5. Limit eating between meals.   Snacking between meals is one of the major reasons for weight loss failure. You should not feel hungry between meals. If you are, it’s a good idea to keep healthy snacks on hand. Remember, to listen to your band to stay in the Green Zone. You may need an adjustment if you are persistently hungry. 6. Eat only good-quality, nutritious food.   Your meals should be high in protein and vitamins. Don’t fill up on high-sugar, high-fat “junk” foods which lack the important vitamins and nutrients you need. Talk to your doctor to determine the right nutrition and vitamin supplement plan for you. 7. Avoid fibrous food.   In general, foods that contain many fibers, like asparagus, can block the stoma. Even with thorough chewing, saliva sometimes cannot break the fibers down enough for them to pass. Try cooking fibrous foods well, then cut them into very small bites and chew them thoroughly. You’ll soon learn what your body can and cannot tolerate. 8. Drink enough fluids during the day.   Drink at least 6 to 8 glasses of water daily, in small amounts, all day long (but not right before, during or after meals). This helps you stay hydrated and eliminate waste from your body. 9. Drink only low-calorie liquids.   If you drink high-calorie liquids (even healthy ones like fruit juice) you may not lose weight, even if you are following your diet with good, band-friendly eating habits. 10. Keep moving.   This is an important tip. Physical activity burns calories and increases weight loss. Once your doctor clears you to exercise, aim for 30 to 45 minutes of moderate to high activity, 3 to 5 times a week. A lot of calorie-burning activities can be fun and rewarding.
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

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The Last 30 Pounds

Those of you who have been following my blog know I am a bit of geek and sometimes spend countless hours researching ways to help myself to stay focused and be successful. I do believe there is no magic to weight loss and actually hate the word DIE..T and have removed it from my vocabulary. I do believe that being successful with Lap Band does require a life style change in eating habits and rewiring of my brain to help me to make healthy choices. I try very hard not to put myself in situations that would require me to be around junk food or foods that are not good for me. I am fully aware that only being 1 year post op and still having weight to lose to get to goal makes me vulnerable to all the horror stories of regaining what I have lost. I know the fat person still lives in the shadows and watches and waits for a weakness in my armor. I know I must be strong and must learn to live the healthy life style, by always picking the best food choices, exercising daily and always practice what I preach. I sometimes tell myself it is ok to still be overweight because I do look much better than I did a year ago but my fear is that as long as I stay overweight it will be just as easily to accept being obesity again. If I am totally honest this journey will continue for the rest of my life, because once the journey of weight loss ends than the journey of maintaining everything I have worked so hard for starts. So today on my internet travels I found a bairitric physicians web site who has published several books and one happened to be a free down load. "The Last 30 Pounds". I started reading and decided I needed to share this with all of my LapBand Family because at some point in time we will all be here and it doesn't hurt to read ahead. I know just reading a book doesn't make it happen but if you read and apply it can work. I need goals and rules, goals help me to keep focused and true to my journey. I also read several other things on this physicians web site about the yoyoing of fills and unfills and it actually made since to me. This physicians web site is one of the best I have ran onto while inquiring on success of Lap Band Patients. Here is the site and also the free down load of the "Last 30 Pounds" Check it out I think it will be worth your reading if you are struggling with losing and are feeling a little frustrated with your Lap Band Journey. We can all blame the Band or our physician for our failures or we can all take accountability for our failures and successes. As always these are my thoughts and opinions and I hope I don't piss anyone off. http://drsimpson.net/index.htm   The Last 30 Pounds.pdf
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

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Staying In Touch

Nice to see so many new face's on LBT. I have the day off today so I was trying to catch up on the web site. It is nice to see some old friends and some new faces. I am Diane and I was banded on October of 2010. I have now lost 112 lbs and am 8 lbs from my ideal body weight, a healthy BMI and healthy percent body fat. My journey like all WLS patients has had it's ups and downs. I have had my share of plateaus and difficulties and I can not tell you how much this web site and the people on her who are now friends have helped me. I have been a silent stalker and finally an active participant. In the beginning I didn't feel I had much to share so I read, listened and tried to learn all I could about my body and lap band. lap band got me started on this journey but after the initial 50 lbs the work really starts, honestly having lap band is just a little insurance.(sorry if you did not realize this but it is true) It is like having an extra conscious, that says,"Now you know you have eaten enough and if you take one more bite I am going to make your throw up if you take one more bite" "See I told you" I still have days when my eyes are wanting way more than my tummy will hold, and my 3rd conscious (hubby) says, Di ya gotta lot of food on your plate, you know you can't eat all that. I hate it but he is right. I can not say enough about my family, friends, co-workers and cyber friends. With out all of their support I would never have made it. They have held me accountable and challenged me when I felt things were stalled. Hard work, dedication, goal setting and sticking to the program works. The old saying is so true, "You are what you eat!" I love eating healthy now, I feel so much better, I have so much more energy and I am off all of my asthma medications and blood pressure medications. I never thought that would happen! I love exercising and I love working out with a trainer. Yes it is hard work, yes it takes commitment and yes it is also expensive but I made the financial cuts in my daily life because my health is worth this, I deserve to be healthy. I am thin now, WOW, can't believe I said that but I do have to admit, I am thin. I wear size 4" and 6's, I have no boobs left, (but a really sexy bra from Victoria's Secret with some sexy panties) I do have a little loose skin on my upper thighs and tummy could be tighter. But hey my arms look awesome and with "Justin's" drilling in the gym I will tighten up the other areas in due time. Will I be perfect, "Hell to the No" but you know what for a 56 year old lady who used to weight 252 lbs and wear a size 24 I look pretty damn good. Soooo. lapbander's new and old my words of wisdom to you are: Love yourself, believe in yourself, never lose site of your goal. This is not a "DIET", this is a life time commitment to living a healthier life style. This is about beating the odds, this is about being accountable to yourself. We can lie to ever one else and say, yes I am following the rules when In our hearts we know we can give more. How bad do you really want this? How much are you willing to give? After all it is your life! I am giving this 100% plus, I am so worth all the hard work, dedication and commitment. Remember you are worth it also, give your self a break, forgive your self for what went wrong yesterday and move forward. If you dwell in the past you will never have a future. Hugs and Best Wishes to all my cyber friends, thank you for all your support and encouragement!
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

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Making It Work For Me

In advance I will ask your forgiveness as i rant about my life!   I haven't blogged in a while but I have been busy and still consistent to my goal. I started working with a trainer 2 weeks ago to learn to properly exercise and EAT. Eat you say, I thought that was why you had lapband surgery so you wouldn't eat. Well the answer to that question is both a yes and a no. I had lapband surgery because I had always failed at every weight loss program for 20 years plus. I like many would always lose weight but could never make it for the long haul not did I ever really change my relationship with food and what I put into my body. I have always been in for the instant gratification, quick fix and results category. I think I have tried almost every fad diet on the market and have always made them work for me only to gain back what I lost plus MORE! Does this sound familiar to any of you, I am sure it does and I am sure that many of you have been as frustrated as I have been. So why is this Lapband Journey going to be any different? What will I do different and how will I transition this into a life style change and will I be successful?   A Journey:The act of traveling from one place to another; a trip. A distance to be traveled or the time required for a trip: a 2,000-mile journey to the Pacific; the three-day journey home. A process or course likened to traveling; a passage: the journey of Life!   Hmmmmm, after reading the above statement I think I need to rethink what I call this Lapband process. A journey may be OK to get from Fat to Thin but then what? I am thinking that, the closer you get to goal the more you need to have made some major changes a long this journey. So now I am refocusing my thoughts and think I will call this Lapband a "Life Style Change". If I really want to commit to this weight loss I have to change my way of thinking, my band has been my safety net under this high wire act, that I have been using to prevent my self from falling off. It has worked, I have been successful but I am getting close to my goal, a number I set that I wanted to achieve and would consider my success. Wow this is really scary, can I do this? Can I really be successful? Can I really maintain this new me and how do I do it? So, to remain focused I really have to get my mind heading down the right path, I need reprogramming. I need to really understand my body and how food is used as fuel. Some days it all seems so over whelming and you almost feel OCD. You critique every morsel you allow to go between your lips, you constantly tell yourself, no don't eat that, no you can't have that. Now how many calories are in that and how much protein have I eaten and oh my god have I eaten to many carbs or what the hell do I do if I really am hungry. Sound familiar. My brain is constantly in high gear, constantly planning, evaluating and second guessing if I am really eating the right things or if I am just going through the motions. Honestly I do not want to feel deprived for the rest of my life. Some day I want to be able to eat some type of dessert and not feel like I have failed or let my self down. Someday I want to have a healthy relationship with food not a fear that if I eat something it will tip me one way or the other. There has got to be a balance between healthy and happy.   I have went through some months lately as I sat stalled at the same weight day after day and wondered, why? I have obsessed over my food dairy, I have obsessed over my carbs, my fats. I have tried to only eat 3 meals a day and never snack between meals. I have honestly tried to follow every rule that my doctor and the Lapband web site has suggested. But honestly, it's hard, it's not natural, it sometimes sets you up for failure. It makes you resent food, it makes you resent other people who are losing faster than you and it makes you feel like a failure. Honestly following the Lapband rules, is not really eating a well balanced diet.(I will add in my opinion) I have struggled since I had this procedure to incorporate fruits and vegetables in my diet. I rarely eat fiber and my focus has always been protein, protein and more protein. I know, I know, your all saying but you have lost weight, yes but have I always been satisfied with my diet and what I was eating the answer was NO, or hell NO!   So world since this can no longer be just about the journey and more about living a healthy life. I am not committed to making a life style change. How scary is that, and how in the world do I do it. Big question with no simple answers. So I will enlighten you to my plan.   As I stated in my first sentence, I started working out with a trainer two weeks ago. I was very upfront with him, "Justin". I told him about my WLS and how I was suppose to eat with lapband and what I could and could not eat. The first session we had he told me, "You are not eating healthy and you are not eating enough" Well that was a first for me, I have always been told I eat to much. He also told me I was not burning fat, I was burning muscle, due to my poor nutritional habits. Oh great! Now what, I have spent the past 15 months trying to eat healthy only to go to far in the other directions. Geezzz!! I am starving my body of necessary nutrients. Am I ever going to get the hang of this. So here we go again, planning meals, making sure I am taking time to get in my planned healthy snacks, increasing my protein, adding some carbohydrates, more veggies and let's don't forget the fruits. That day last week when I walked out of the gym, I thought to myself, how the hell am I going to do this. I can't eat rice, I can't eat sweet potato's and oatmeal with egg whites, protein drinks and on and on.... Well it is one week later and I am finding if you put your mind to it you can do just about anything. I have stuck to his plan, I have increased my calories back to 1200 plus, I have managed to get from 90-120 gms of protein in every day. I have managed to learn to like Oatmeal with egg whites, I have learned to eat rice again (only a quarter of a cup but it is rice. I have learned to like sweet potato's without butter and brown sugar and managing to get at least one serving of fruit in and some vegetables. Now granted some days I feel like all I get done is prep my meals and I feel like I am always eating but honestly I feel better, have more energy and actually have the strength to exercise and do the weight training he wants to do. I have been able to increase my cardio workouts to 30 minutes daily with a goal of 45.   So bottom line, I am trying to change my lifestyle, I am learning to plan my meals better and make exercise a routine in my life not just something I do to reach a goal. Honestly for me the only difference in LapBand from the old diet is I am forcing myself to live healthy. The band is not causing me to live healthy because honestly the band will allow you to eat all the unhealthy food you want, it is you and only you that can control what and when you put food in your mouth, The band can restrict you, can make you throw up can lead you to an unhealthy life style if you allow it to. You still have to get control over your life, get rid of bad habits and develop new habits. You have to remember that it truly is and will always be only a tool, it will never control or help you decide what you should eat only you can make those decisions and only you will know what you put in your body.   This is much more than a journey, it is my war on food and health, it is me becoming a "New Person". So if I become obsessive about what I eat and how much I exercise so be it because I am in this for the long haul and I will not fail and I will reach goal, maybe not today or tomorrow but it will happen if I continue to change my behaviors.   So fellow bandster, don't give up, take each new challenge as it comes and most and foremost believe in yourself and believe that with hard work, focus, support and love you can make this.........   Lifestyle Change: modifying or eliminating long-held habits of eating or physical activity and maintaining the new habits over months and years!!   We can all do this, because I believe.........................................
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

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Weekends

Sometimes I really hate weekends. Weekdays are so much easier to stay focused and on program, you are always busy with work or scheduled activities and I never think about eating or worry about snacking. But weekends need to be as full so my brain does not drift back to the grazing mode and the little devil lurking in the shadows does not win by saying, "Just take one bite, one bite won't hurt anything." Yeah right, one bite got where I was 7 months ago. So today I decided to emulate my daily activities of my usual morning routine and kick it up a notch. Up at 6am, showered and got dressed, minus the make up, it is Saturday you know. Mixed my unflavored protein in 2ozs of water and off to star bucks for my Triple Granda Skinny Caramel Macchiato, Total count of 18ozs at 240cal(calories for protein powder-24 gram protein and 140 calories for drink with 11 grams protein) Breakfast total 35 grams protein. Drive to the dog park with Lexis and do a few laps. Now Lexi thinks this morning was all about her and we will let her think that but actually it was really all about me needing to exercise and get my coffee fix on. Lots to do this weekend, need to complete a school assignment on Linear Equations! (yuck ) First I have to read the chapter so I can even discuss what a linear equation is. Duh...........Laundry..clean house, etc..etc..etc... I live such an exciting life.   As a side bar update, I did keep my challenges I made to my self on "No Regrets " Wednesday's post. I parked my car at the furthest point from the hospital, and I walked to my office. Mitch the shuttle driver looked at me and said, "What's up you don't want I ride today!" So I stopped and explained my new goals to him and he just smiled and drove on. I managed to only take the elevator once on Friday and that was to the 10th floor, up town 3 and 4 flights I was OK with but I decided, heels and 10 flights was pushing it a bite for a Friday.   I have decided that I am going to use this blog to keep me honest and true to this journey. I have this little OCD thing about writing things down, if I write it down and check it off I am more likely to comply. It is hard to ignore what is in black and white under your nose. So I don't go back to my MD for 4 months, (very scary thought to me). That is unless I need a fill, or start feeling hungry I am suppose to call and make an appointment. I though on Thursday when he told me this. OMG, you are trusting me for 4 months to stay on track, you are my mentor, my honesty guage. As long as I was going to see him every 4 weeks or so and I knew I had to face him and the dreadful scale I had to stay on program. So Mr or Mrs blog and bloggers you are my new honesty guage. I am pledging to all my blogger friends out there I am using all of you to keep me honest. So don't let me down. Ask me questions, keep me honest, challenge me. WE will not fail, We will stay on track and focused. WE will over come all obstacles and be SUCCESSFUL! Go Team! Always wanted to be a cheerleader.
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

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Frustrated!

I just want to say, could we please have an auto save to our posts as we type. I just spent 30 minutes responding to a blog only to have it lost due to accidently hitting the back button. so frustrating, I will try again later. Am I the only idiot out here who does this grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

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Keeping up the pace

Happy Saturday bloggers! Hope everyone had a great week and did one thing for themselves this week. I have worked my "buns" off this week at Curves and on my treadmill. In the past week I have exercised 30 minutes every day and burned a total of 1830 calories. I have lost 1.4 lbs and a total of 8" in the past two weeks. It was so hard for me to get motivated over the past 8 months to exercise as usual I wish I had got off my butt sooner and started. Some mornings I do not want to roll my body out of bed but I do and it is paying off. So happy with the results so far.   Tonight we are going out to dinner with friends to celebrate her 40th birthday. She is a gastric sleeve patient, about 2 months post op and has lost 30 lbs. We are going to a dinner theater. Looking forward to the evening with friends but always stress over what to eat. One good thing we can share a meal. Have a good weekend everyone and keep up the good work, remember we are all on a journey taking it one day at a time.
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

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Wow, It's Like Starting Over

Well I hope all my friends are doing well. I have spent the morning reading and trying to catch up on how everyone is progressing. I noticed I had not posted since November of last year: why, not sure. The holidays came and went with no major issues, I got a GI bug before Christmas and learned I could truly vomit after being banded and it was not a pleasant experience. I learned that even with a band Thanksgiving and Christmas can be very challanging holidays. Who does not enjoy the smell of fresh baked cookies and pies and lets not forget about that wonderful dinner with all the sides. My family was a little disappointed because I chose not to bake, but why tempt a former fat person. I may have learned alot over the past year but I still love food and I love the wonderful traditions that I have enjoyed since I was a child so I decided to let my daughter do the baking for the family, they live 4 and half hours away so they were not in my easy reach. Early in January I started to notice that I was not staying as satisfied between meals, I would eat my portions but I could usually down my portion in about 10 minutes. I knew this was not good but hated the idea of getting a fill. Any of you that have followed my blog know that I have not had but a few fills but my last one resulted in an overfill and an unfill before they got it right. Multiple sticks later I was back in the green zone again. Well I went to see my surgeon the second week of Jan and had my 3rd fill on Jan 30th. What an event, I had an esphogeal spasm when he pulled the fluid out of my band," it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest." But I survived and the past week has been as fun as I remember, that is where Wow, it;s like starting over comes in. My first thought after this fill was, "Why can I not just learn to control my hunger so I don't have to go through this." 48 hours of clear liquids, than advance to soft than to solids. It has taken me 7 days to advance back to solids and it is really small amounts, about 2 ozs every 2-3 hours. I had to go back to the protein drinks to get all my protein in for a few days. I thought I might be too full, but I can pass liquids easily and solids if I chew them well. I think I had been a little more unrestricted than I thought for quite sometime and had become comfortable with managing my portions on my own. I lost 7 lbs last week but have finally leveled off maintained for the past few days, I am gradually adding solids back into my diet and cutting back on the protein drinks. So I guess this past week I have learned that this truly is a life long journey! Never give up and stay true to your self and you will be successful.....................
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

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