Ups and Downs
Friday may 20, 2011
Today I woke up feeling amazing. How I hate that word right now. Amazing. Seems everyone over uses it. But that is how I felt. I jumped out of bed ooops forgetting I had surgery. Amazingbecause just day before my innards still felt sore. And nothing today. So I felt really spunky. Worked my butt off made payroll, paid weekly taxes, employee child support payments.Something I detest doing. But hey I am legally bound lol. Hate being responsible for what others should have done all along. Another blog subject!
Then it seemed the day went to crap. My emotions are so close to the edge.
I am thinking about food all the time. What the heck. Mary you are not physically hungry!
Theres the key:
Feeling emotional= thinking of food constantly.
I wonder at what age this started for me. I will have to mull that over in my mind. But it hit me like a ton of bricks. I used to eat whether happy or sad. Always a food to celebrate the moments.
I need to find a release other than food when I am feeling emotionally vulnerable.
Something physical would help but that is limited as I am only one week post surgery.
Sex would be another option but husband is away for four days
Theres me being very open and humorous.
So much to discover about why I am the way I am.
Some things I like, (many things) but so many I dont. But Im a work in progress.
This is a repost. I cant get into my other account as Miss Mary so I had to get another
THURSDAY, MAY 19, 2011
Relief
Yesterday went to see my care provider. Bandages off, incisions are small except for the one by the port. I think they will heal nicely, not raised or bumpy. Care provider said full liquid diet and follow the handbook they gave me. Well handbook says Im on week two and I can go to pureed foods. So I had a little cottage cheese, oatmeal and and a shake today. Not hungry. She said it will come back but I dont want the hunger to come back.
It gets difficult to be around other people eating. Some of the guys had cheeseburgers for lunch and one had a hot roast beef sandwich and potatoes and gravy. Smelled yummy. Im not hungry but my mouth is watering
I saw a picture of my lovely band. She asked if they put some fluid in my band already. That I could not answer.
I do have some left shoulder pain that comes and goes and not sure what that is.
The terrible gas and bloating has gone and I feel human again.
Im wanting a potato. Dont know why but I do. Maybe my body needs a certain mineral. Cant go on supplements until next week.
Its been one week since my surgery and I have went to work everyday this week. I am pooped but recovering quickly.
I ordered some exercise videos "Zumba Dance" for my Kinect and P90X. I know Im not ready for either yet but getting geared up.
POSTED BY MISS MARY AT
LABELS:
TUESDAY, MAY 17, 2011
One Week Bites the Dust
Felt terrific today. What I am really liking is NOT being hungry and well in all honesty I should be. I am not eating and so one would think you should be hungry. NADA. I guess its the band. This is unknown territory for me. Not being hungry. Always wanted to eat. I still think about food. I love food. Im an excellent cook. Im Italian I am thinking of what to eat when I can eat. Then I think I wonder if I want to go through all that trouble for just a few bites of it.
I was able to work with little discomfort today. Tommorow I visit my care provider. maybe I can eat mushies then. My calorie content is around 400 - 500 at moment. If I could eat something of substance it probably would be higher. Going to try and get on treadmill (slow pace) for 15. It will help me sleep tonight and well I took another two hour nap. After I heal I wont be able to do that so I am taking full advantage of it. My vegetable garden is looking great. Cant wait to harvest some of that.
Here's to losing.
POSTED BY MISS MARY AT
MONDAY, MAY 16, 2011
Day 6 WOrk
Went in to work today. Very hard to sit at a desk. My stomach is really hard which makes it hard to sit up straight. I hate being slouched over. I even attempted to do billing standing up and leaning down I called the doctor cause it seemed strange to be so rock hard in my upper abdomen. But was told that it is perfectly normal. Asked me if I have been passing gas(aka farting lol) I guess thats one way of getting rid of it . He suggested Gas X might help. So chewed two of those babies. Now as a good wife I am cooking the family dinner. Roast, mashed potatoes and corn on the cob. I will enjoy some applesauce and oatmeal.
I am having a mind battle as I am not physically hungry but I want to eat something of substance. Even a beautiful salad sounds so yummy at the moment. This too shall pass.
POSTED BY MISS MARY AT
SUNDAY, MAY 15, 2011
What Was I Thinking
I actually had that thought when I woke up from a nap yesterday. All of a sudden it came crashing down on me what I had done. Wow. Do I regret it today, no not one bit. I just realized no huge cheeseburgers again and No binge eating. Maybe its the liquid diet that got to me or maybe it just happens to everyone. Lost 4 pounds so far since Wednesday. I guess thats normal since Im only drinking water and cream soup, some oatmeal and pudding. Doesnt even add to 500 calories. Still very sore. I just want to nap cause my energy level is in the pits. Back to work tomorrow. Not looking forward to sitting at a desk all day. Cant wait until I feel at least strong again.
POSTED BY MISS MARY AT
FRIDAY, MAY 13, 2011
Day 3 Banded
Today is the third day since I had weight loss surgery. Very sore. Didnt realize how much you actually use your stomach muscles to do everyday movements. I have 5 small incisions where they did laproscopic surgery. Im full of gas and feel 9 months pregnant. Cant eat very much. Just ate some pudding and a bowl of soup. Have to be on liquids for a few weeks. Cant diet for a month. Kind of hard to when you are limited to liquids like yogurt and pudding and soup. I cant wait to get my life back. I ask God to give me strength to accomplish my goals to be healthy and happier.
POSTED BY MISS MARY AT
WEDNESDAY, MAY 11, 2011
<a href="http://missmarysravesandrants.blogspot.com/2011/05/had-rough-night-before-heading-to-city.html" style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0); text-decoration: none; display: block; font-weight: normal; ">Officially Banded
Had a rough night before heading to the city to check in for surgery. I havent had a dream of my deceased grandmother in years. She was a RN and a DON who I respect she told me in the dream that she didnt think it was a good idea. Just great. I aldready had fears of not waking up. I do have an over active imagination. Thank goodness it was just my mind playing tricks on me as I went to bed nervouse and apprehensive about surgery.
As you can see I woke up lol.
Had some concerns cause anesthisia makes me vomit but they loaded me up with medicine not to vomit.
I am so sore. I am amazed at how much I used my stomach muscles to do every day movements like getting up from a reclining position or getting up from a seated position.
I guess work through the pain.
Theres a little bleeding from the incision sites(5) but they said that was normal.
Not interested in eating.
Too much trauma to want to. So far had one serving jello and one cup clear broth and some apple juice.
Go home tomorrow. Cant wait.
Check out this huge potty. Never seen one that big before
